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ENG_itinerari

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Antonella Sinagoga
Monica Ronchi
Miguel Ángel García Morcuende
Itineraries
A youth ministry
that educates to love
YOUTH
MINISTRY
DEPARTMENT
Salesians of Don Bosco
Rome

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Reserved property
Sector for Youth Ministry,
SDB Salesians of Don Bosco
Headquarters Via Marsala, 42
00185 Rome
Free copy
not intended for sale
©️ Salesians of Don Bosco
Graphic design and printing
Salesiani Don Bosco Mestre
via dei Salesiani, 15
30174 Mestre-Venice
Outline di Matteo Dittadi & C. Sas
via Brusaura 13,
San Bruson Dolo 30031 Venice
Cover illustration
Javier Carabaño
Summary
05 Introduction
09 Introductory meeting
for the educator
10 01. The construction of identity
11 Biblical figure: Balaam
12 Path No. 01.1
17 Path No. 01.2
21 02. Conscience and decisions
22 Biblical figure: Ruth and Noemi
23 Path No. 01.1
27 Path No. 02.2
30 03. Self-control
32 Biblical figure: Abishai
33 Path No. 03.1
37 Path No. 03.2
42 04. The affection
43 Biblical figure: Priscilla and Aquila
44 Path No. 04.1
50 Path No. 04.2
53 05. Educating to community life
54 Biblical figure: Mary
55 Path No. 05.1
57 Path No. 04.2
60 06. Educating to the awareness of limits
62 Biblical figure: Saulo
63 Path No. 06.1
67 Path No. 06.2
70 07. Educating to the awareness of the digital continent
71 Biblical figure: Sarah
72 Path No. 07.1
77 Path No. 07.2
81 08. Accompanying uniqueness by not thinking of it as a reason for exclusion
82 Biblical figure: Mark
83 Path No. 08.1
89 Path No. 08.2
93 09. Basic ethics of affective relationships
94 Biblical figure: John the Apostle
95 Path No. 09.1
99 Path No. 09.2
102 10. Care of areas of educational impact
103 Biblical figure: Azariah, Ananias and Mishael
104 Path No. 10.1
108 Path No. 10.2
for children and young people
112 Worksheets
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Introduction
01. What we mean by educational itineraries
In order to deepen the educational criteria proposed in “A youth ministry that educates to
love” and strengthen certain social and personal skills, itineraries are presented to promote
sound educational-pastoral praxis.
By educational itinerary we mean a path of pedagogical action, a structured and methodo-
logical procedure that creates meaningful learning experiences that actively involve peo-
ple, enabling them to strengthen or acquire new (relational, emotional, cognitive) skills in a
practical way that can be applied to everyday life.
Each itinerary provides detailed guidelines through criteria, procedures and rules to achieve
the proposed objectives. The methodology we propose focuses on the concrete experience
of people and their environment, putting action, active participation and direct involvement
at the centre of the learning experience. Participants are not regarded as passive recipients,
but subjects capable of monitoring and planning their own learning.
Beginning with observation and concluding with the ability to connect with one’s own expe-
rience and that of others, these paths allow the formation of certain personal competences
and skills:
Relational
• Effective communication: the ability to express oneself clearly and unambiguously while
maintaining consistency between verbal and non-verbal messages with respect to situa-
tional and cultural context. Effective communication allows one to express opinions and
desires with respect for others, but also needs and feelings experienced within one’s own
self.
• Relational competence: corresponds to the ability to relate to others in a constructive
manner by creating and maintaining positive and meaningful relationships in the family
environment and society.
• Empathy: the ability to listen to and understand the emotions of others, their concerns,
difficulties and thoughts. Empathy helps to improve social relations by reducing individu-
alistic tendencies and fostering openness to diversity and exchange, a readiness to human
contact and solidarity.
• Self-awareness: knowing oneself, one’s needs and desires, strengths and weaknesses,
and areas for development. It corresponds to self-knowledge and recognition of one’s
thoughts, language and actions. It is the basis for a balanced relationship with oneself
and others because it reflects the knowledge of one’s own character with its strengths
and weaknesses. Self-awareness is an essential prerequisite for all the other abilities of a
person.
Emotional
• Emotional management: the ability to recognise one’s own emotions and manage them
appropriately (with respect to oneself, to others, and to the context).
• Stress management: the ability to recognise the sources of stress in everyday life, to iden-
tify their effects on oneself and the ability to regulate, whenever possible, the level of ten-
sion and activation.
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Cognitive
• Problem solving: the ability to face problems actively, whether they are relational or per-
sonal, by seeking a resolution and avoiding their accumulation and irresolution, which
would lead to excessive mental and physical stress.
• Decision-making: the ability to elaborate decision-making actively, evaluating the various
options and the consequences of the possible choices.
• Critical thinking: the ability to make judgements about the environment and oneself inde-
pendently and objectively. Critical thinking helps to recognise, discriminate and evaluate
factors that influence one’s ideas, individual choices, behavioural consequences and to
take a position as consciously and freely as possible.
• Creative thinking: a skill that enables people to explore the possible alternatives and con-
sequences of doing or not doing certain actions. It helps to look beyond direct experience
and respond flexibly and adaptively to everyday situations.
• Reflection: consists of the ability to make decisions constructively by weighing the conse-
quences of one’s choices and assuming the associated responsibilities.
*
Affectivity, sexuality, and the changes of the body and mind
have always been part of human life. The fact that kids do not
ask questions does not mean that they do not have questions.
The role of the adult is therefore to communicate the positive
connotations of affectivity and sexuality.
2. Objectives
• Further study of the contents of “A youth ministry that educates to love” with and for young
people.
• Increase the ability to experience emotions and relationships in a conscious manner which
is respectful of oneself and others.
• Encourage the expression of affectivity in interpersonal relationships.
• Have correct information on sexuality issues.
• Improve relational and emotional competences (life skills).
• Promote discussion and reflection on the models, values and choices that have to do with
relationships, affectivity and sexuality.
• Promote knowledge and reflection on biblical characters to illuminate one’s life starting
from the Word of God which is the history of salvation.
• Have a greater awareness of one’s own identity.
• Give importance to the plurality of choices and models of identity and behaviour.
• Prevent discrimination, prejudice and violence in relation to gender, sexual orientation and
socio-cultural references.
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03. Unit structure, target audience, duration, context and rules
Structure
A. 10 UNITS FOR 10 EDUCATIONAL CRITERIA (cf. A youth ministry that educates to love)
containing:
1. Guidelines for educators.
2. Operative (or work) sheets at the end of each unit for children/young people exploring
the themes, through:
Videos/Short films
Songs/music/meditations/relaxation techniques
Test/Quiz/stimulus sentences
Poems/Stories/Diaries/Nursery Rhymes
Biblical figures
Exercises
Exercises to do at home
B. Each unit consists of the following parts:
• Excerpt of an educational criterion from the book “A youth ministry that educates to love”.
• A biblical figure that recalls certain characteristics of the theme.
• Objectives.
• 2 paths containing the following four main learning abilities:
BEING ABLE TO OBSERVE, RECOGNISE, HIGHLIGHT
• The aim is to develop the skill to identify and bring out certain personal ele-
ments starting from certain stimuli (songs, texts, stories, situations, music,
experiences, ...).
KNOWING HOW TO CONNECT, FEEL, BUILD
• The aim is to relate these elements to what they awaken and provoke on a
personal level. Starting with oneself, practising certain aspects in a practical
manner.
KNOWING HOW TO BE, KNOWING HOW TO LIVE, AND RELATE
The objective is:
> To relate what has been acquired to other elements, by building a map of:
• Resources
• Opportunities
• Strategies
> To help one understand what concrete commitment one can make in
daily life, both in terms of reflection and behaviour.
BEING ABLE TO VERIFY, EXPERIMENT, SYNTHESISE
• The aim is to make a synthesis of emotional, spiritual and experiential me-
aning and to find situations in which one can verify and experiment what
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one has discovered, recognised and planned, through personal work, which also
continues at home.si è scoperto, riconosciuto e progettato, attraverso un lavoro
personale, che continua anche a casa.
Recipients
• The target groups are adolescents and young people.
Groups of a maximum of 25 people are recommended.
Duration
a. At least two meetings per unit are planned.
b. Different paths are offered so that each educator can choose the most suitable one accor-
ding to the target group.
c. Various exercises are proposed within the paths. The educator can decide whether to use
them all or, otherwise, choose according to the group.
Context
In order to carry out the proposed itineraries it is necessary to have a suitable environment
which is welcoming, spacious, and structurally flexible so as to allow both assembly and small
group work. The surrounding silence and the brightness of the environment are also import-
ant context variables to be taken care of.
Priority should be given to a circular working method, in order to encourage direct communi-
cation and the involvement of all participants.
Finally, it is important to have the proper equipment: notebooks, slide projectors, flip charts,
pens and paper.
Communication rules
In order to facilitate the achievement of the set goals in an atmosphere of cooperation, re-
spect and harmony, it is necessary to agree on certain rules that can facilitate group work.
These include:
• The use of first names to foster contact between members and create an atmosphere of
closeness and cooperation.
• Secrecy refers to the commitment not to report content that emerges within the group
outside the group. This facilitates freedom of expression and participation.
• The interruption of evaluative communication, which emphasises the importance of avoid-
ing criticism, judgement and evaluation of others’ communications, by taking responsibili-
ty for one’s own messages and adopting descriptive language.
• Punctuality, in order to make group work productive; it is important that each participant
makes a commitment to be on time at meetings.
Accompaniment is a process of transformation that is
organised around the subject to show him that he is
the protagonist of his own history.
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Introductory meeting
Structure
01. Getting to know the participants for the first time
• Activation of the self-introduction round: name, activities, expectations.
02. Warm-up exercises
Various exercises are presented:
• Hot chair “Two strengths, two weaknesses”. The educator invites the participants to take
turns sitting on a chair in the middle of the room and to introduce themselves through two
personal strengths and two personal weaknesses, i.e. areas for development. To help the
young people identify these points, some soft skills could be projected, such as: autono-
my, self-esteem and self-confidence, ability to adapt, precision and attention to detail, ini-
tiative, being a good communicator, knowing how to negotiate, interpersonal relationship
skills, creativity, knowing how to listen, etc.
• Who I am through photos. The educator prepares a series of photos or newspaper clips
with various subjects (faces, landscapes, objects,...) which he arranges on the floor in a
corner of the room, creating a path. As soon as the background music starts, each person
must find at least two photos that best describe him in terms of particular personal char-
acteristics. After this moment, each person will show the photo and introduce themselves
through the characteristics of the picture.
• The identity daisy: On an A4 sheet of paper each person draws a daisy with three leaves
and several large petals. In the centre, they write their name and a characteristic on each
petal (information about themselves, interests, talents, qualities). On the leaves, each per-
son describes a dream and a feeling that characterises them at that time in their life. In the
end, they presents the flower, using it as a cue to describe themselves.
• The personal map: each group member is asked to draw a map that represents their life,
including important places, significant events and personal interests. Then each partici-
pant can present their map to the others, sharing their story behind the choices they have
made.
• Question and answer chain: The educator asks the participants to stand in a circle and as-
signs each person a number in order. After introducing himself/herself with his/her name,
he/she starts with a general question, e.g. “what is your favourite hobby?”, and the person
with number 1 begins. This person answers the question and asks the person with number
2 another question, and so on. In this way, everyone can express and access personal in-
formation in a fun and engaging way, thus facilitating the creation of ties.
03. Explain the purpose of these itineraries, working methods and
communication rules (p. 3- 4).
Attitudes and skills to be fostered in the presentation
• To develop in young people a positive and responsible attitude of self-respect and respect
for others with regard to the body and relationships, and regarding the dimensions of af-
fectivity and sexuality, also in the light of the use of new technologies and social networks.
• To foster discussion, curiosity, listening and the opportunity to ask questions on the topics
of affectivity, development and growth.
• To address issues of the education to sexuality and affectivity, focusing on growth and
physical and emotional changes, while respecting the maturity of each individual and the
specific needs identified with the support of the educator.
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01. The construction
of identity
FOR THE EDUCATOR
“Guiding involves educating and helping the person to achieve important goals in
his or her development, such as, for example, the construction of an identity, the
realisation of a personal life plan, the dynamics of choice and decision-making,
an honest and satisfying working and professional activity in response to the se-
arch for meaning and the vocational call, which constitutes the fulfilment of all
existence” (p. 101, A youth ministry that educates to love).
“The real question refers to identity: “Who am I?”. We must help young people to
find an answer to this question, to develop their personality and unfold their indivi-
duality, so that today and tomorrow they will be able to live in authentic relation-
ships” (Ib. p. 106).
objectives
• Developing a sense of identity means developing the perception of oneself as a being gift-
ed with personal characteristics and abilities, learning to get to know oneself and making
oneself known as a unique and exceptional person.
• Acquiring awareness of one’s individuality is the task of a lifetime, a fundamental task that
never ends. For although our identity is identified with certain unchanging characteristics
of our personality, it is subject to continuous evolution and is defined in relation to chang-
ing situations, other people and the relationship we establish with reality.
• To develop a sense of change of oneself in relation to the world, to become more aware of
oneself and reality. This is basically what enables us to act and intervene meaningfully in
reality, bringing about positive changes. We acquire identity to the extent that, through our
behavior, we are tangibly useful to others and it is by virtue of this that we become aware
of our importance.
Biblical figure: Balaam
Worksheet no. 1
Strengths and achievements:
• Widely known for his powerful curses and blessings.
• He obeyed God and blessed Israel, despite the corruption of King Balak.
Shortcomings and errors:
• He encouraged the Israelites to worship idols (Numbers 31:16).
• He returned to Moab and was killed in war.
Lessons from his life:
• Motivations are as important as actions
• A person’s treasure is found where his heart is.
General data:
• Location: lived near the Euphrates River, travelled to Moab.
• Profession: sorcerer, prophet
• Relatives: Father: Beor
• Peers: Balak (king of Moab), Moses, Aaron
Key Verses:
Joshua 24:9-10
9 Then Balac, son of Zippor, king of Moab, prepared to war against Israel. He summoned
Balaam, son of Beor to curse you; 10 but I would not listen to Balaam. On the contrary, he
had to bless you, and I saved you from Balac.
“Abandoning the straight road, they have gone astray, following the road of Balaam the son
of Beor, who loved payment for wrongdoing, but he received a rebuke for his own crime:
a mute beast spoke with a human voice and restrained the prophet’s madness” (2 Peter
2:15,16).
The story of Balaam is told in Numbers 22:1-24,25. It is also mentioned in Numbers 31:7,
8, 16; Deuteronomy 23:4,5; Joshua 24:9,10; Nehemiah 13:2; Micah 6:5; 2 Peter 2:15,16;
Jude 11; Revelation 2:14.
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Path No. 01.1
Equipment:
projector, computer, flipchart, printouts, blank sheets, pens.
Duration of the meeting: 2h 30 min
Welcome:
10 min
Discussion:
30 min
BEING ABLE TO OBSERVE,RECOGNISE, IDENTIFY
Discussion of the theme: STORY OF THE YOUNG MAN AND THE RIVER
WORKSHEET No. 2
6 min
KNOWING HOW TO CONNECT, FEEL, BUILD
How to know yourself in order to find yourself - 30 min
The young man will return home. In reality, if we want to find ourselves, we must search only
within ourselves. The real problem, however, is to realise first of all that, as the girl said, we
‘are’ not but we ‘become’.
I am not the same person as I was last week; I change, and I am transformed moment by
moment. Every experience becomes something that makes us reflect, think, and about which
we change, perhaps by a little or even less, our general view of the world; we strengthen some
ideas, and eliminate others.
Who are you? What does the story awaken in you?
EXERCISE:
Blank sheet
An exercise is proposed to address the issue of identity.
The goal is to help you understand who you really are. To do this, you have to
start by writing down a list of all the words and possible definitions that describe you.
Imagine that you have to introduce yourself to strangers and then tell them who you are
so that they understand you; or imagine that you have to play a game in which a person
who does not know you has to answer questions about you and you have to somehow
give them all the information so that they can answer correctly. Take your time, reflect
and write down a comprehensive list.
Now that you have the list, let ‘s see how you can use it to really understand who you are:
• Go through the list and cross out all the words that refer to a behaviour or character
trait. When you find a word that refers to your character or the way you behave,
cross it out.
• Delete all the words that refer to emotions or otherwise referring to the emotional
sphere.
• Also delete all words that refer to social economic status, your profession, whether
you are rich or poor, political status, religious status, and also everything about your
relationship status.
• From what is left, remove any words that define something you have done in the
past or what you intend to do or plan to do in the future.
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Having done this, you are left with a list containing the most important elements from
which you can start to understand who you really are.
If, on the other hand, the page has remained completely blank, then I have helped you
realise that all those things you thought were not really you. Obviously you can reflect
on this exercise and try to discover, beyond the words that are left on your list or on the
blank sheet of paper in front of you, who you really are, thus learning to get to know
yourself beyond the schemes that made you cross them off.
We believe this is a fundamental process, in order to eliminate distorted schemes, la-
bels, prejudices, beliefs that limit your life and confine it without you realising it. Of
course, I cannot settle for leaving you with fewer beliefs than before, although some-
times having a few is better than having many distorted ones. Self-awareness has to
do with the knowledge of yourself. Being aware involves being able to identify: one’s
strengths and one’s areas of weakness.
Exercise:
Poem “Be the best of whatever you are” - Douglas Malloch
WORKSHEET No. 3
30 min
The meaning of the poem is encapsulated in the highlighted sentence: “If you can’t be
a pine tree”. It sounds like a difficult concept...
Discovering one’s own plan involves growing, learning, getting to know oneself and im-
proving oneself. In the process of growing up, each person will be able to realise his
or her own task in life, choosing who they will become, what job they will do and what
lifestyle they will adopt.
• Comment on the highlighted sentence. What does it mean to you?
• What would you like to do with your life?
• What would you like your plan to be like?
KNOWING HOW TO BE, LIVE, RELATE
Starting from the story... (10 minutes)
What happened to the young man after the meeting at the river? (this can be read or projected or
acted out)
He goes back home, he makes peace with himself, he eliminates all misconceptions and confused
ideas as you have just done, at which point he begins to devote himself to painting. And it is by
painting that he discovers who he really is. This is how. The young man ran breathlessly, arrived at
his best friend’s house, while the sun was still rising in the sky, and pulled him out of bed.Without
too many explanations, he dragged him to the little house in the hills where he used to retire every
evening to get a better view of the sunrise of the following day and where he usually painted; then,
when they got there, he told him about his discovery.
“Do you remember the little girl I told you about a few months ago?” he exclaimed without waiting
for an answer. “Well, just this morning, at sunrise, I picked up my paintbrush because there was a
beautiful sky and I wanted to paint it. But as soon as I started to colour the canvas, I realised who I
am!” The friend was still half asleep and doubted that the young man was out of his mind.
“See all the colours I use? Turquoise, blue, yellow, and look how beautiful this ivory is,” he said poin-
ting to the palette with all the colours. “I am not these colours!”
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The friend strongly doubted that the young man was well and smiled.
“Take this paintbrush, it’s not me, it’s just a paintbrush, and look at the canvas, do you think I am this
canvas? No, not even!” continued the young man enthusiastically.
“Also, observe my style. Of course, this is so personal, you will think, nobody paints like me, yet I
tell you they are not my style either. Not to mention the flowers, and the sky,’ and here his friend
interrupted him thinking he had really gone mad, ‘and you’re not even the flowers, the sun and
the birch trees!
The young man smiled, calmed down and said: ‘I am the painter. You are the painter. The friend was
puzzled, feeling he had been called into question and not even knowing how to distinguish light blue
from turquoise. The young man realised he had hit the bull’s eye and continued.
“You think you are a carpenter, but you are neither your work nor your talent. Just as I am not the
canvas, the colours or even the style with which I paint. We are not these things, we are painters. I
wake up today and even if I had been painting for a lifetime with the same style, always the same
things and the same colours, today I could change everything. The water in the river, remember?”.
The friend was beginning to sense something. “The water is always that of the river, which looks the
same, but is always different.
They are not my thoughts, I can change them, just as they are not my emotions, my work, my family,
my friends, my choices, my tastes. They are all the pictures I have painted so far. I am the painter,
the one who creates his paintings, his art, his masterpiece. That is why I could not find myself and
understand who I was. I was looking in the wrong place. I was looking for the wrong thing. I wanted
a label, a definition, I wanted to be sure I was something that doesn’t change so that I could know
that I am that, that’s all. But if I am the painter, then I do not have this false certainty. I am not, but
I become, and I always change, but I am always different. Yesterday I painted a rose, look at it!” he
said, showing his friend a canvas with a red flower. “Today I could paint it blue. I create my canvases,
I create my life because I am the painter, and my great certainty is that I am always changing. Who
am I? A painter who is about to create his daily masterpiece. Can you know me?”
He continued, as his friend had also understood the young man’s revolution: ‘No, not unless you
want to find out what I’m going to paint every day. Do you know what I have understood? That I
cannot find myself except by looking for myself every day and discovering myself every moment.
Because I am the painter, only when I pick up my brush do I discover what I will paint today, using
what colours, and what canvas. I have no labels for myself, I would not know which one to use, be-
cause I have realised that all of them are small and narrow, that two minutes later they will no longer
be good. We are painters, my friend,’ he concluded, ‘there is no point in putting labels on ourselves,
actually, each day we are becoming more ourselves, that is my greatest certainty’.
Exercise:
CHANGING OUR POINT OF VIEW
45 min
1. DEFINITION: consists in putting oneself in the place of others.
2. OBJECTIVES: to learn to perceive a situation from the point of view of another person
in the group.
3. PROPOSAL: First they are asked to join together in small groups according to the
characteristics they have in common (e.g. cultural group, origin, associations, ...). Each
group is assigned one of the groups that have formed..
Print or write on a blackboard:
• THE SELF: What is important to me? What makes me unique? What are my strengths
and weaknesses? Who and what has made me who I am?
• ONESELF AND OTHERS: What are my favourite friendships (individual or group)?
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• Who are my heroes, my role models? What kind of differences do I have and with whom?
How do I resolve these differences?
• THE SELF AND SOCIETY: What is my role in the society of today and tomorrow? What in-
fluence could I exert on society? To what extent does my existence depend on society?
First, the participants answer as they think the other group would answer. Then they an-
swer the questions from their own point of view. The first set of answers (those “in the
place of the others”) is forwarded to the other group, which sends their own reactions
after reading it.
4. ASSESSMENT: The difference between prejudicial and actual reactions is analysed.
The consequences of our prejudices. The current view in our group and the change
experienced..
Opportunities to share with the group: accepting one’s faces
• Each one of us can more or less recognize our positive or negative aspects. One of
the important steps in finding ourselves (and in re-finding ourselves) is precisely the
commitment to look at ourselves honestly and in an unbiased way in order to reco-
gnise our talents, our weaknesses, our strengths and the aspects we are less proud
of in order to grow consciously.
• How much do the judgements of others influence your self-image? Try to describe
yourself (mentally or by writing a short text) and then examine the result: how much
of what you have produced is the result of self-analysis and how much comes from
what other people think of you? Only by accepting to dig deeper into your own self (a
solitary and sometimes tiring activity) will you come to know your real traits.
KNOWING HOW TO CONSTRUCT, VERIFY, EXPERIMENT,
SYNTHESISE
Understanding yourself: who you really are
And this means that you are the painter, the one who creates your life, every day.
Whatever labels you, or others, use, as you have also discovered through the exercise, are
wrong, inadequate, limiting and do not take into account the most important thing: you are not
you, but you become. Do not seek certainty in definitions, schemes, or static labels that seem
to give you the security of a point of reference. “This is who I am!” is just an illusion.
Understanding ourselves, like finding ourselves, means understanding that we always become
different, is that the underlying constant is not what we show, but what we are inside. I cannot
give you a definition, because any definition would be inaccurate and wrong in five minutes.
You are the painter.
Project or scatter on the table photos of painters, artists, ...
• Try to find situations in which you can express this potential, your resources.
• Try to find situations in which you can try to turn your weaknesses and fragility into possible
areas of development.
We are the image and likeness of God! By considering our way of being in the light of God,
we are able to accept ourselves as we are: with our talents and virtues, but also with our
faults which we humbly acknowledge. True self-esteem requires us to admit that we are not
all alike and to accept the fact that other people may be smarter, play a musical instrument
better, be better at playing sports.... We all have good qualities that we can perfect and, most
importantly, we are all God’s children.
In the end, we will accept ourselves as we are if we do not lose sight of the fact that God lo-
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ves us with our limitations, which are also part of our path of sanctification and the object of
our struggle. The Lord chooses us, like the first Twelve apostles: ... ordinary men, with their
faults, their weaknesses, their word being longer than their deeds. Yet Jesus calls them to be
fishers of men (cf. Mt 4:19) ...
Exercise to do at home: THE SELF-ESTEEM DIARY
1. Get a notebook or create a digital document.
Get a special notebook or a note-taking app for your mobile
phone or device.
2. List positive characteristics. List at least one positive characteristic about yourself
every day. These characteristics may relate to personality, skills, achievements or
even small kind gestures.
3. Explain why they are special. After listing the characteristics, write down why these
characteristics are special or important to you.
4. Reflect on your achievements. In addition to the characteristics, write down your
personal achievements or challenges you have overcome. Reflect on how you felt at
those moments.
5. Look back and compare. From time to time, we suggest you take a look at your
self-esteem diary to see how much you have grown and how much you learn about
yourself every day.
This exercise can help develop a more positive view of oneself and recognise one’s
uniqueness. It also encourages reflection on achievements and overcoming challenges,
promoting self-confidence and personal growth.
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itineraries A youth ministry that educates to love
Path. No. 02.2
Equipment:
projector, computer, loudspeakers, paper, pens.
Duration of the meeting: 2h 30 min
Welcome:
10 min
Discussion:
30 min
BEING ABLE TO OBSERVE, RECOGNISE, IDENTIFY
Discussion of the theme:
THE STORY OF THE SAD TREE
WORKSHEET No. 4
6 min
The moral of the story ‘The Sad Tree’ is to learn that we are not all the same, each of
us has our own strengths, each of us has our own special abilities, and each of us, once
we accept our uniqueness with all the negativity and positivity that comes with it, can
finally have peace and happiness, because there is nothing more satisfying than finding
your own way, accepting yourself and following your heart.
Go forward with determination, don’t be too hard on yourself and find your happiness,
because remember, everyone deserves it.
KNOWING HOW TO CONNECT, FEEL, BUILD
What can we learn from this story?
We must listen to ourselves
What do you do when you want to listen attentively to a person who
is talking to you? Certainly you eliminate any sources of distraction, you turn off the
television or you try to move away from anyone making annoying sounds. In the same
way, to really listen to yourself you need to silence all the little dysfunctional voices that
clutter up your mind: how you should be to society or your family, what you should do
to be really successful, who you should hang out with, etc. In this way you can listen to
the only voice you really need: your own!
TRY THIS EXERCISE
The importance of being authentic
As soon as you have brought attention to yourself, try to reflect. How many times have
you tried to be like others? Those people who always seem so confident, calm and hap-
py? Only to realise that certain behaviours are quite different from yours....
Each of us has unique characteristics: only if you really observe yourself and discover
your strengths can you succeed in following your own path. And it is also important to
understand your own weaknesses, those that could make you stumble on your path:
they are part of you, you can accept them and improve with the awareness that you can
also learn a lot from your mistakes.
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You can change when and how you want
Being yourself is the key to a fulfilling and happy life. There is no right age to change. Nor
a specific way to do it. When you feel that your time has come, you can choose how to
deal with it, respecting your own time.
Excersise:
“ALIKE, AN ANIMATED FOR REFLECTION”
WORKSHEET No. 5
Starting from the video.
Alike is a video-cartoon by Daniel Martinez Lara and Rafa Cano Mendez that shows all
adults, and all educators, how the minds and curiosities of young people should not be
switched off.
Creativity and imagination are two key words.
Let us try to answer these questions and reflect on the meaning of the short film.
• How do we learn in life to find the right path for each one of us?
• What are the attitudes and behaviours that do not lose their colour?
• What talents and potential do you think you have to become what you want to be?
To build our identity, it is important to follow our ambitions and to dare. Creativity crea-
tes, invents and never stops. It is a ‘mental attitude that must be nurtured’. It is flexible,
open, and respectful thinking.... It includes the ability to learn from failures and the
aptitude to explore gaps and inconsistencies’.
GROUP DISCUSSION ON CERTAIN POINTS
TWO COMMITMENTS:
1. Follow your inner voice
True, each of us has an inner voice that can suggest and help us make the right choice, the
problem that arises in such cases is the difficulty in following it.
Why do we encounter these difficulties?
Simply because the right thing to do is hardly ever the easiest, it often requires courage, it
often requires strength, but once we take the step, we will steer our path on the best track
for us; it will cost effort and it will be difficult, but then it will be fabulous.
2. True change starts with you, make peace with yourself and live by accepting who you are.
Make peace with yourself! How many times have we heard these words, they are said very
often, sometimes even inappropriately, but what does it really mean to make peace with
yourself?
Simple! During our lifetime we go through various stages of growth, which put together lead
us to mature, get to know ourselves and become people who are aware of our strengths and
limits.
Once we have accepted all our characteristics and also our frailties as human beings, once
we have become aware that it is normal to make mistakes, to fall, to learn from our mistakes
and finally get up again, then we will accept all our mistakes and wrong behaviours because
they become an experience; it will be the experience itself that will lead us to understand
who we are and to build our personal path.
Only when we have made peace with ourselves and accepted all our mistakes, then and only
then can we blossom and show the world the beauty within us.
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itineraries A youth ministry that educates to love
KNOWING HOW TO BE, LIVE, RELATE
Knowing oneself helps build identity.
Being aware means being able to identify:
• one’s strengths
• one’s weaknesses
• one’s way of reacting when faced with situations
• one’s preferences (e.g. in which situations do I feel comfortable and in which do I feel
uncomfortable)?
• one’s desires
• one’s needs
• one’s emotions
Emotional awareness is the basis of good self-awareness and consists in being able to
recognise the emotional signals of our body and naming the emotions we feel and which
‘inform’ us about our preferences, tastes and needs.
Knowing ourselves allows us to predict how we will deal with the various situations that life
offers us, being prepared to approach life and therefore able to choose situations, beha-
viours and attitudes that are functional to our goals.
“ When you are aware, you see the whole process of your
thinking and action; but it can happen only when there
is no condemnation. When I condemn something, I do
not understand it, and it is one way of avoiding any kind
of understanding.
J. Krishnamurti
Awareness is the result of observation, an observation without judgement, so it is important to
train ourselves to observe, listen and feel from the perceptions of our senses:
• What do I see?
• What do I hear?
• What do I feel in my body (where do I feel discomfort?)
And again:
• When did it happen?
• Who was present?
• Where was I?
• Has this happened before?
• etc.
Awareness of our inner world in the ‘here and now’ can be listened to by asking these 3
questions:
• What do I think?
• What do I feel?
• What should I do? How do I proceed? What actions do I take?
But awareness is also about knowing one’s habitual behaviour (patterns):
• What do I usually think/try/do when...? (a certain situation arises)?
• When... (a certain situation arises) ... then I...
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2.1 Page 11

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Therefore, the answer to the question “How do you develop self-awareness?” is to perform
deep listening with attention and without judgment, at a time when the intensity of emo-
tions is low (peace of mind, annoyance, trouble) and not high (excitement, fury, worry, pain).
But in order to reach this KNOWLEDGE OF SELF we must have the opportunity to observe
our own tastes, needs and desires.
Daily personal work can be proposed in which these questions are answered according to the
events.
KNOWING HOW TO CONSTRUCT, VERIFY, EXPERIMENT,
SYNTHESISE
Exercise: THE MAP OF MULTIPLE IDENTITIES.
Draw a map representing the different facets of your identity,
such as family roles, interests, skills, cultural and personal values, and so on.
Each person can then share their map with the group, explaining the various
parts of their identity and how they intersect with each other. This exercise
fosters the understanding of the diversity of human identities and encourages reflection
on the importance of embracing one’s own complexity.
Exercise: THE LETTER TO THE AUTHENTIC EGO’.
1. Introduction to the exercise: Explain to the kids that they will write a letter
to themselves, addressed to their ‘authentic ego’. This letter will be a way to
explore their personal thoughts, feelings and goals in a sincere and non-judg-
mental way.
2. Prepare a pen and paper: at home they can use pen and paper or, if they prefer, a
digital device.
3. Write the letter: Ask them to write a letter to themselves, addressed to their “au-
thentic ego”. In this letter they can express who they really are, what they want from
life and what makes them unique. Encourage them to be sincere and not to worry about
being judged.
4. Reflect on emotions: After writing the letter, ask them to reflect on how they felt du-
ring the writing process. Did they discover new things about themselves? Did they feel
a sense of liberation in being honest?
5. Keep the letter: Encourage them to keep the letter in a special place or seal it in an
envelope for the future. It will be interesting for them to go back and read it later on
to see how they grew and how their authenticity was a key element in their personal
development.
This exercise promotes personal authenticity, encouraging them to explore and accept
who they really are. Letter-writing offers them a safe space to reflect on their deepest
thoughts and feelings.
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itineraries A youth ministry that educates to love
02. Conscience
and decisions
FOR THE EDUCATOR
“Is it sufficient to educate children and young people to “behave well”? Teach beha-
viours or educate the conscience? More than just forming a person in the abstract,
education is about helping others and ourselves to bring the best of what is gi-
ven to us and is within our “measured” power, according to humanly worthy ways.
In any case, the educational starting point does not involve concepts, values or
projects, but rather the vital situations and the real possibilities in which everyone
lives. To educate is to stimulate and help one grow so that they can live their lives
with dignity, establish relationships, participate and develop their own and others’
potential, live the uniqueness of their own and others’ vital moments. In terms of
value, education works to make everyone’s potential and choices “virtuous”. (ibid.,
p. 107).
“ Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the
discomfort of thought.
J. F. Kennedy
objectives
Consciously or unconsciously, we are always faced with decisions. Some are so simple that
we elaborate them automatically almost without realizing it, while others, much more difficult,
require time, method and commitment.
• Critical thinking gives us precisely the ability to use data, information, experiences and situ-
ations appropriately and effectively in order to make decisions, act and form the right ideas
and opinions in our mind. Even though we are not aware of it, we use critical thinking many
times a day. The problem is that, according to research, most of us are not very good at this
activity. In fact, we use critical thinking whenever we have to make a decision, evaluate var-
ious options, imagine the effects of our decisions or establish the priority of our activities.
• Critical thinking consists of the ability to analyse information, situations and experiences ob-
jectively, distinguishing reality from our own subjective impressions and prejudices; it means
recognising the factors that influence our and others’ thoughts and behaviour, and for this
reason it helps us to keep a clear head when we make choices.
• It enables us to have a better understanding of situations, options, projects and people, con-
stantly evaluating advantages and disadvantages.
• It enables better decision-making and thus better results and performance.
• It allows us to keep an open mind that enables us to communicate and relate better with
others.
• It helps us to recognise external factors that influence our own and others’ thoughts and
behaviour.
Why it needs to be developed:
When you do not use critical thinking, you confuse your personal interpretations with the reali-
ty of the facts; this makes it difficult to create effective relationships and make good decisions.
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Biblical figure: Ruth and Noemi
Worksheet No. 6
Strengths and achievements:
• A relationship where the greatest bond is faith in God.
• A relationship of strong mutual commitment that leads them to make important decisions.
• A relationship in which each one tried to do their best for the other.
Lessons from their lives:
• The living presence of God in a relationship overcomes the differences that would other-
wise create division and disharmony.
General information:
• Location: Moab, Bethlehem
• Occupation: Wives, widows
• Relatives: Elimelech, Mahlon, Chilion, Orpah, Boaz
Key Verses:
Ruth 1:4-22
4 These married Moabites, one of whom was called Orpah, and the other Ruth; and they
dwelt there about ten years. 5 Then Malon and Chilion also died, and the woman was left
with nether her two sons nor her husband.
(Ru 2:11-12; Mt 19:27-30) (Lu 9:57-58) Is 56:6-7
6 She then made ready to go back from the plateau of Moab because word reached her there
that the LORD had visited his people and given them food. 7 She and her two daughters-
in-law left the place where they had been living. Then as they were on the road back to
the land of Judah, 8 Naomi said to her two daughters-in-law, “Go back, each of you, to
your mother’s house! May the LORD be kind to you as you were to the departed and to
me! 9 May the LORD grant each of you a husband and a home in which you will find rest.”
She kissed them good-bye, but they wept with loud sobs, 10 and told her they would
return with her to her people. 11 “Go back, my daughters!” said Naomi. “Why should you
come with me? Have I other sons in my womb who may become your husbands? 12 Go
back, my daughters! Go, for I am too old to marry again. And even if I could offer any ho-
pes, or if tonight I had a husband or had borne sons, 13 would you then wait and deprive
yourselves of husbands until those sons grew up? No, my daughters! my lot is too bitter
for you, because the LORD has extended his hand against me.” 14 Again they sobbed
aloud and wept; and Orpah kissed her mother-in-law good-bye, but Ruth stayed with her.
15 “See now!” she said, “your sister-in-law has gone back to her people and her god. Go
back after your sister-in-law!” 16 But Ruth said, “Do not ask me to abandon or forsake
you! for wherever you go I will go, wherever you lodge I will lodge, your people shall be
my people, and your God my God. 17 Wherever you die I will die, and there be buried.
May the LORD do so and so to me, and more besides, if aught but death separates me
from you!”
Her story is told in the book of Ruth, Matthew 1:5 also mentions Ruth.
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itineraries A youth ministry that educates to love
Path No. 02.1
Equipment:
video projector, computer, blank sheets of paper, pens, print card.
Duration of the meeting: 2h 30 min
Welcome:
10 min
Discussion:
30 min
OBSERVE, RECOGNISE, EXTRACT
Discussion of the theme: CHICKEN LITTLE
WORKSHEET No. 7
6 min
There are many messages that are conveyed through the figure of Chicken
Little, but two are the most obvious (and important):
• Firstly, Chicken Little’s resilience shows us that, in the darkest moments of our exis-
tence, we must never get discouraged, but get back up and keep fighting.
• Finally, and perhaps this is the most emblematic meaning that can be found in the
cartoon, because present in the animal that embodies the stereotype of fear, namely
the chicken, we find the courage that, present even in the most anxious and insecure
people, can make us face the obstacles we are faced with in a different way, making us
perceive them as less frightening than they already are.
KNOWING HOW TO CONNECT, FEEL, BUILD
Group work: RECOGNISING COMMON ERRORS IN HISTORY
In all the numerous versions of Henny Penny’s popular fairy tale, the role of the hen,
chicken and rooster (but also the turkey, goose and duck), follows the cliché of the clas-
sical ‘chicken’, the ‘naive and not so intelligent animal (although we now know, even
from scientific studies, that in fact it is exactly the opposite), while the fox - as in all the
best-known fairy tales - represents the cunning and deceitful predator.
‘Gullible’ people, or those who cannot think for themselves in certain situations, can
be fooled, committing ‘common errors’ (or tricks of logic). If you think about it, you will
realise that these mistakes are... very common! A critical thinker, on the other hand, is
not easily convinced: he sees things precisely through a ‘false logic’. There are many
kinds of errors and, the more you think about it, the more easily you will recognise that
they are ‘around you’ every day: especially in advertisements, political discussions, etc.
From these insights, try to catch the dynamics at work.
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Reflection:
• The ‘everyone on the bandwagon’: this is when we believe something just because others
believe it too, without checking whether the information is true or false!
• Intimidation tactics: when strong, ‘scary’ stories are used to make someone believe what
you believe.
• Appealing to emotions: when you make a ‘fiery’ speech or tell a tragic story to convince
someone to follow your thinking.
• False dichotomy: when one claims (wrongly!) that there are only two possibilities in an
argument. In Chicken Little, for example, a false dichotomy occurs when the barnyard an-
imals have to believe that the sky is falling or that Chicken Little is lying. The (clever) fox
knew, however, that there were other possibilities!
KNOWING HOW TO BE, KNOWING HOW TO LIVE, RELATE
It becomes important to learn how to make decisions.
THE COMPASS TECHNIQUE
WORKSHEET No. 8
5 QUESTIONS FOR DECISION-MAKING
Whenever you are at a crossroads, get a piece of paper, a digital notepad or your perso-
nal diary. On this blank page, write and answer the following questions.
• Where do you come from? No, ‘Rome, or Madrid, or London, ...’ is not the right answer
to this question! Write down on a blank sheet of paper who you were before you
reached this point and what you are now; what your origins and your background are;
what decisive events in your life brought you to where you are now.
• What really matters to you? Write down four things that you could never give up in
your life. What are the milestones without which your existence would no longer be
the same. In short, what are North, South, East and West for you?
• Who really matters to you? Which people in your life are able to influence your deci-
sions? Which people do you listen to? Who do you trust? Who frightens you? Com-
plete the list of key people in your life.
• What is holding you back? What frightens you about the new direction you should
take? What are the obstacles, people and situations that hold you back?
• What motivates you? What motivates you to make a certain decision rather than an-
other? Why would it be a good idea to go in that particular direction? List the “pros” of
the different decisions you are analysing.
If you prefer, after answering these five questions, you can also construct a mind map,
highlighting the key words that distinguish your answers.
These questions will help you shed some light and make an informed decision.
However, we often find ourselves not at a crossroads, but at a frightening crossroads
with endless roads.
6 COURSES OF ACTION
Thanks to the five questions you will have gathered and organised enough information
to make a decision, or rather, to take a course of action. That’s right, because you can’t
just decide, you must then act accordingly.
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itineraries A youth ministry that educates to love
Here are the 6 alternative courses of action suggested by the ‘compass’ decision-making
model:
• The path that fascinates you. Which decision fascinates you the most? If in the past you have
often followed your instinct successfully, if it is important for you to try new experiences, if
those who are close to you have always encouraged you to put yourself to the test, if what
holds you back is worth far less than what pushes you, you should follow the path that fas-
cinates you.
• The dreamed path. The dreamed path is not necessarily the life that fascinates you. On
the contrary, it is often necessary to make sacrifices in order to realise our most ambitious
dreams, which fascinate us very little. To take this path, you must have answered question
5 with VERY solid motivations, motivations that light up in you just by writing them down on
your sheet of paper.
• The rational path. What advice do the people you trust and who you think have better judge-
ment give you? Are safety and risk reduction important values to you? Then you must follow
the path you consider most rational.
• The way back. We often find ourselves deciding whether or not to abandon a project that is
not giving us the desired results. In this case we are faced with a dilemma. Should we con-
tinue to invest resources and effort in this project in the hope that it will bear fruit one day, or
should we cut our losses as soon as possible? If the motivation is no longer sufficient to drive
you, you must carefully consider the way back, i.e. interrupt the project you have undertaken.
• The familiar path. Sometimes, for example in relationships, we have to choose whether to
continue along the familiar road or take on a new adventure. If our values and the people
we care about are along the familiar path, the decision that will make us feel better will be to
continue in that direction, perhaps making the right changes.
• The unfamiliar path. There are times in our lives when each day we spend on the familiar path
literally sucks up our vital energy. This happens when we compromise on what really matters
to us, when we act out of fear of not meeting the expectations of someone we respect or
someone who frightens us. If you answered the five questions on decision-making instinc-
tively, I am sure these elements will have emerged and it will be clear to you that the time has
come to take the unfamiliar path, however frightening it may be for you.
BEING ABLE TO VERIFY, EXPERIMENT AND SYNTHESISE
Critical thinking and the importance of decisions
THE ETHICAL DILEMMA
WORKSHEET No. 9
Here is a practical exercise to develop critical thinking and
decision-making skills:
This exercise encourages critical thinking, the evaluation of consequences and the ability
to make informed decisions. It also helps develop a deeper understanding of the ethical
dilemmas and decision-making challenges you will have to face in the future.
1. Choose an ethical dilemma: take the story that presents an ethical dilemma or tell
another one. For example, it could be a conflict between two important values or a situa-
tion in which a difficult decision has to be made.
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2. Present the dilemma: read the ethical dilemma neutrally, without providing any solu-
tion or judgement.
3. Group discussion: Divide the kids into small groups and ask them to discuss the
dilemma. Each group should explore the different options, evaluate the consequences
and present arguments for and against the different possible choices.
4. Share the conclusions: After the groups have discussed the dilemma, ask them to
share their conclusions with the whole group. This encourages the sharing of different
points of view and stimulates critical thinking.
5. Analysis of decisions: After the discussion, encourage them to reflect on the deci-
sions they have made, their reasons for making them and how they feel about them. Ask
them whether they would change their decision in light of the arguments of the others.
6. Personal application: Finally, encourage them to reflect on how they can apply what
they have learned from the ethical dilemma to their daily lives. How can they make
more informed and value-based decisions?
With regard to the story:
Possible choices:
1. Report the fraud: You can report the fraud to the human resources department or
company management, knowing that this action could lead to Anna’s dismissal and
consequently to an even more difficult financial situation for her and her children.
2. Face Anna: you may choose to face Anna directly about her actions and ask her to
stop the fraud and solve the problem. This may help her avoid legal consequences and
keep her job, but it does not necessarily mean that she will stop committing fraud.
3. Hiding the fraud: You may decide to do nothing, ignoring Anna’s fraud. This may
protect her job and her immediate financial situation, but it may also lead to ethical
problems for you and the company if the fraud is discovered in the future.
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itineraries A youth ministry that educates to love
Path No. 02.2
Equipment:
projector, computer
Duration of the meeting:
2h
Welcome:
10 min
Discussion:30 min
OBSERVE, RECOGNISE, EXTRACT
Discussion of the theme: DIARY PAGES OF A FEW KIDS
WORKSHEET No. 10
KNOWING HOW TO CONNECT, FEEL, BUILD
First moment: GROUP REFLECTION ON THE READING OF THE DIARY PAGES
• What elements emerge?
• What are the main difficulties?
• What thoughts do you share?
• Which thoughts do you disagree with?
KNOWING HOW TO BE, KNOWING HOW TO LIVE, RELATE
Second moment: WHAT DOES IT MEAN FOR ME TO CHOOSE AND MAKE DECISIONS?
Some examples:
• What would you do if an older boy gave pushed you and made you fall?
• Friends invite you to try smoking marijuana with them: what do you do?
We make a decision when we evaluate the different possibilities we have and the conse-
quences that may result. A decision is never good in absolute terms, but is good in relation
to a specific context and oneself.
A good decision takes into account the complexity of human beings, of ourselves with:
• our priorities
• our objectives
• our strengths and weaknesses
• our values
• our culture
• our emotions
and context:
• people with the same objectives, values, needs
• relationships between people and the emotional climate
• the environment: objects, spaces, atmospheric climate, etc...
• culture
That is why it is important to have good self awareness and critical sense in order to make
good decisions.
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WHY WE SHOULD TRAIN
Being able to make good decisions means acting and not reacting to something that hap-
pens, in this way we are intentional and create our life.
If we live by reaction we leave our lives in other people’s hands, if we are intentional we lead
our own lives.
EXAMPLE N. 1
Think of motorbike races between teenagers: at the traffic lights, a peer approaches, roaring
the engine of his motorbike, the boy flirts with his schoolmates who watch him from the
pavement, the goal is to prove that he is ‘cool’, a legend, and when the light turns green, he
hits the gas to get there before the other and win the race... or leave his life on the asphalt.
It might be different to have a passion for motorbikes, to have the possibility and support of
one’s parents, and to decide to go racing on a track. Same behaviour: riding a motorbike, but
in an appropriate and protected context, therefore intentional.
EXAMPLE N. 2
Just think, I’m a parent of little children, I take them to dinner at friends’ who are offended if
I refuse, we go to a crowded restaurant, where they make me wait an hour for the first cour-
se... the bread on the table has run out, the children start to complain, to get up from the
table or even cry, i get nervous and react abruptly, taking it out on my bored and... hungry
children! That dinner was not a good choice!
HOW TO DEVELOP THIS SKILL
As always, training should start with simple situations: “What should I eat for breakfast?”;
only later will it lead to development in more complex and important situations in life:
“Should I change jobs? Which university should I choose?”
We can start with the traditional pros and cons, i.e. what good or bad happens if I make this
decision? But let’s add the emotional pros to the list: what are the pleasant and unpleasant
emotional consequences I encounter?
RATIONAL - PRACTICAL
PRO
CON
She will be full
Difficult digestion
I will do a favour to
my grandmother
who cooked them
I take in too many
calories for my diet
...
...
EMOTIONAL
PRO
CON
I will experience
great pleasure
I will be happy to
make Grandma
happy
...
I will feel guilty
about my diet
I am ashamed be-
cause I said I would
not eat them any
more.
...
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itineraries A youth ministry that educates to love
BEING ABLE TO VERIFY, EXPERIMENT AND SYNTHESISE
Exercise to do at home:
Explore your conscience
Remember an important decision you have to make or have recently made.
Reflect on how you dealt with the situation and what thoughts, emotions and values were
involved. Ask yourself whether you acted in line with your conscience or whether there
were factors that influenced your decision.
Personal value
Think about the key values that guide your actions and decisions. What is really important
to you? It could be values such as integrity, honesty, freedom, justice, family, creativity,
etc. Explore how these values influence your decisions and how you can fulfil them in your
daily life.
Practising presence of mind
Practising awareness in decision-making. When you are faced with a choice, take a mo-
ment to examine the thoughts, emotions and values you have at that moment. Ask your-
self whether your decision reflects your conscience and whether you feel at peace with it.
Post-decision reflection
After making a decision, take some time to reflect on how you feel. Did you act according
to your conscience? If yes, how did you feel? If not, what factors influenced your decision?
This reflection will help you learn from your decision-making processes and develop a
greater awareness in the future.
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03. Self-control
FOR THE EDUCATOR
“ For the future of Christianity the choice for or against the body will prove to be
full of repercussions. Indeed, changing perspective involves recognizing that
we are caught between two extremes: on the one hand, the idea that the jour-
ney towards God forces us to relativise our senses, or even give them up; on the
other, an indifference to the body that occurs after having ‘tried everything’. The
key word between the two extremes could be ‘chastity’, that is, the privileged
way to learn to respect the individuality and dignity of the other, when it is not
subject to one’s own desires” (ICVM 58). […] Self-control teaches self-discipline
of the heart, as well as that of the eyes, the mind and all the senses. This control
(emotional self-regulation) is not something negative. It is authentic dominion
over ourselves Being aware and master of ourselves means recognising each
person as a unique and unrepeatable subject, as an end in itself and never as
a means to an end. Consequently, chastity involves education and training to
overcome any possessive and controlling mentality towards another person.
It opposes head-on the utilitarian and narcissistic mentality that tends to use
and abuse everything as if we were the arbiters of ourselves, our bodies and
drives, as well as the people in the world around us. Love that wants to pos-
sess and manipulate the other always ends up being dangerous; in the end it
crushes us, suffocates us and makes us unhappy. The logic of love is always a
logic of freedom. We acknowledge that we have not given chastity the value it
deserves. On the contrary, today’s culture and society no longer contemplate
a certain type of chastity, and it is becoming ever more “unthinkable for young
people” and adults, such as premarital chastity during courtship or life in ge-
neral. Self-control and chastity are denigrated and those who practice it are
considered “naïve” and are looked down on by their peers (ibid., p. 110-111).
“ When I say manage emotions, I only mean the really
distressing, incapacitating emotions. Feeling emotions
is what makes life rich. You need your passions.
Daniele Goleman
objectives
• Developing self-mastery and self-control and being able to recognise all our emotions is
crucial, because once we are aware of them, we can choose how to express and react to our
feelings.
• It is very important to be able to manage self-awareness, to keep negative emotions under
control, otherwise awareness alone remains sterile. Unfortunately, when we are faced with
awareness we often do not know how to react, allowing ourselves to be dominated by emo-
tions, especially negative and destructive ones.
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• Being able to manage emotions, once we have recognized them, constitutes self-mastery.
Being a master of ourselves means possessing the ability to manage and master our emo-
tions, not by extinguishing feelings and spontaneity, but by directing them in the right way.
Every emotion, whether weak or intense, conscious or unconscious, obvious or hidden, trig-
gers one of the following three motivations:
• approach > I want to achieve something more;
• escape > I want to escape;
• attack > I want to do harm.
In general, we should learn to better manage emotions that cause escape or attack.
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Biblical figure: Abishai
Worksheet No. 11
Strengths and results:
• Known as one of the heroes among David’s warriors.
• An eager and courageous volunteer, deeply loyal to David.
• He saved David’s life.
Weaknesses and shortcomings:
• He had a tendency to act without thinking.
• He helped Moab kill Abner and Amasa.
Lessons from his life:
• The most effective followers combine reasoning and action.
• Blind loyalty can cause great evils.
General information:
• Occupation: soldier
• Family:
• Mother: Sarvia.
• Brothers: Joab and Asael.
• Uncle: David
Key Verses:
1 Samuel 26:6-9
6 David asked Ahimelech the Hittite, and Abishai, son of Zeruiah and brother of Joab, “Who
will go down into the camp with me to Saul?” Abishai replied, “I will.” 7 So David and Abi-
shai went among Saul’s soldiers by night and found Saul lying asleep within the barricade,
with his spear thrust into the ground at his head and Abner and his men sleeping around
him. 8 Abishai whispered to David: “God has delivered your enemy into your grasp this day.
Let me nail him to the ground with one thrust of the spear; I will not need a second thrust!”
9 But David said to Abishai, “Do not harm him, for who can lay hands on the LORD’S anoin-
ted and remain unpunished?
“Abishai, brother of Joab, son of Zeruiah, was at the head of the Thirty. It was he who brandi-
shed his spear over three hundred slain. He was listed among the Thirty 19 and comman-
ded greater respect than the Thirty, becoming their leader. However, he did not attain to
the Three” (2 Samuel 23:18,19).
The story of Abishai is narrated in 2 Samuel 2.18-23.19. He is also mentioned in 1 Samuel
26:1-13; 1 Chronicles 2.16; 11.20; 18.12; 19.11,15.
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Path No. 03.1
Equipment:
projector, computer, printouts of song lyrics.
Duration of the meeting: 1h 15 min
Welcome:
10 min
Discussion:
30 min
OBSERVE, RECOGNISE, EXTRACT
In theme:
LOVE MATTERS - Luciano Ligabue
WORKSHEET No. 12
• Activation:Love matters
• Objective:To make the young people in the group reflect on love and falling in love.
• Methodology: Reading of the proposed song and group discussion with the aid of questions.
Another proposal: ask to young people to find song lyrics, passages, readings about love,
respect for the body, adventures, self-control or lack of control.
KNOWING HOW TO CONNECT, FEEL, BUILD
Recognising the body as a means of communication and relating with others, defining what emo-
tions and feelings are, discovering the meaning of emotional ties, friendship, falling in love and
love, recognising sexuality as a mode of communication and relating with others.
The body as a means of communication
The body is the most immediate means of communication; through our body we create relation-
ships with others and the environment. To communicate, we use not only words, but also our
gaze, our hands, our smile, our body position, the way we dress. The body expresses us and often
reveals more than words; it anticipates our thoughts and can be a bridge between us and others.
EXERCISE No. 1
• Activation: states of mind through the body
• Objective: to convey messages through non-verbal communication.
• Methodology: they are asked to arrange the chairs in a semicircle. They are
given cards describing certain moods, through which they can learn to express them-
selves. They are asked to represent them through the total use of their body, including
facial expressions and eye contact. The rest of the group has to recognise what their
companions intend to express and note down any discrepancies in non-verbal commu-
nication.
Example of states of mind:
• Communicating fatigue;
• Manifesting joy;
• Expressing astonishment;
• Showing affection;
• Expressing anger;
• Expressing opposition;
• Communicating impatience.
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At the end of the game, each member says how they felt while performing the exercise.
In the event that someone manifests great difficulty in performing the task, the leader
may ask a companion to help him/her.
At the end of the game, the leader can open a discussion in which everyone is free to
describe how they usually express themselves with their whole body.
Suggestions: The leader must emphasise the importance of the body in communication
and how often it is underestimated; they must pay attention to and reinforce every ap-
propriate behaviour, every small step taken by the participants, avoiding judging inap-
propriate behaviour.
EXERCISE No. 2
• Activation: Reflections on the language of feelings
• Objective: to get young people to reflect on how to recognise and manage
emotions/feelings.
• Methodology: individual or small group worksheets (worksheet no. 13). Ask them to
choose from the list some emotions and feelings that the kids have experienced and
in which situations. The importance of being able to recognise one’s own emotions/
feelings and how best to deal with them should emerge from the discussion.
Choose some emotions/feelings to put in the second column of the table and say when
you felt them and how you behaved, colouring your emotion.
(you can also use the same colour more than once).
joy
sadness
anger
love
annoyance
beauty
amazement
freedom
solidarity
anxiety
esteem
happiness
serenity
enthusiasm
fear
emotion
humiliation
hatred
loneliness
pain
disappointment
marvel
immensity
love
vitality
envy
irritability
tenderness
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EXERCISE No. 3
• Activation: The many ways of loving
• Aim: To recognise the various ways of communicating one’s feelings of
love without having a sexual relationship, broadening the young people’s
view of sexuality.
• Methodology: the youngsters are invited to reflect on some of the ways indicated below
and to propose others, writing them on a poster or on the blackboard. When it is han-
ded in, the richness of expressions of affection should be emphasised: words of reassu-
rance, encouragement, compliments, sharing of special moments, gestures of service,
small gifts, exchanges of affection and intimacies.
• Holding hands
• Dancing together
• Hugging and embracing
• Smiling at each other
• Going to the cinema together
• Getting to know friends
• Talking about one’s feelings
• Listening to music together
• ...
KNOWING HOW TO BE, KNOWING HOW TO LIVE, RELATE
Developing and practising self-mastery (self-control): FIVE DIMENSIONS
Not only do our emotions and moods influence our capacity for self-control and self-mastery,
but they also have an effect on others.
• Have you ever realised that mood is contagious?
Think about the effects happy people or people with a positive attitude have on you: many
times they are able to change your negative mood. The opposite can also happen when you
approach people with a negative attitude.
In reality, even the happiest and most positive person experiences negative emotions: the
difference is that they are aware of them and find the best way to react to them.
Then take time to reflect on emotions, choosing an appropriate response based on your
values and expectations, rather than reacting impulsively to the emotion.
Therefore, if you want to begin to control your emotions better, try the following tips.
1. Evaluate the typical reactions to your emotions. Examine the reactions to your emotions
and plan new thoughts in response to them, eliminating old harmful and useless reactions,
replacing them and practising them with more positive ones (self-control).
2. Learn to manage your non-verbal communication. You must also begin to manage your
non-verbal communication, because your emotions can be communicated not only with
words, but especially with body language. It is also important to pay attention to the non-ver-
bal communication of others (adaptability), both to understand their emotions and to guide
them better.
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3. Come to terms with yourself. Admit your choices and mistakes, face the consequences
and try not to blame others when things go wrong. You will be more confident and conscien-
tious!
4. Learn to manage stress in private and outside. Practice techniques that help you achieve
calm, such as meditation, breathing, prayer, sleeping well, recreation, exercise and avoiding
any kind of abuse. A little stress in life can be good because it motivates, but too much stress
can have a negative effect: if you feel stressed, it is very difficult to manage your emotions
effectively, whereas without stress you are more innovative and creative.
5.Carefully identify your values. Identify well what guides and motivates you, so that you
can make your choices based on this and have no doubts when faced with moral or ethical
choices.
BEING ABLE TO VERIFY, EXPERIMENT AND SYNTHESISE
Identifying your values will certainly help you alleviate stress or difficulties at times when you
have to make difficult choices with strong emotional charges, which may cause you to take
paths you will later regret.
Your self-mastery will make you feel more confident and intrinsically motivated.
Story:
THE BOAT OF WISDOM:
LEARNING TO GOVERN EMOTIONS
WORKSHEET No. 14
Exercise
Answer the following questions:
1. Have you ever experienced intense emotions such as anger or sadness?
How did you usually react at those times?
2. Can you identify a recent situation in which you could have applied the ‘boat’ approach
to managing your emotions differently?
3. What strategies or techniques do you currently use to manage your emotions?
4. What do you think would happen if you started to observe your emotions without jud-
ging and without reacting impulsively?
5. How could you share this teaching with others in your life to improve relationships and
mutual understanding?
6. What are the everyday situations in which you could apply emotional awareness to
make more thoughtful decisions?
7. How do you think self-mastery can affect your mental health and general well-being?
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Path No. 03.2
Equipment:
projector, computer, speakers, cardboard prints, objects with diffe-
rent shapes and smells, bottles of water, wrapped chocolates, etc.
Duration of the meeting: 3 h
Welcome:
10 min
Discussion:
40 min
OBSERVE, RECOGNISE, EXTRACT
To get back on topic:
Divide the kids into small groups and ask them to find a video, a song, a ‘tik tok’, that expres-
ses their idea of emotions and how they experience them at their age. Time: 15’
Then project the various videos.
KNOWING HOW TO CONNECT, FEEL, BUILD
Managing emotions does not mean controlling them, but using them as tools to act, without
being overwhelmed or carried away by emotions, that is, reacting.
Managing your emotions makes you the master of oneself, because it allows you to remain
lucid and effective without losing your mind: it means choosing your behaviour, thus being
intentional in your choices by evaluating their effects on yourself and others.
Emotions contain important information about our values and knowing how to manage them
allows us to choose our actions, that is, to ACT rather than REACT to stimuli.
MANAGING EMOTIONS:
• Does not mean controlling them
• improves self-mastery
• makes us become intentional in our choices
WHY DEVELOP THIS SKILL
Knowing how to manage emotions allows us to:
• transform unpleasant emotions (or not useful to the context) into pleasant emotions,
• motivate ourselves
• be able to master an emotion, without putting it aside, but living it until we understand its
message, meaning and/or significance.
Knowing how to manage our emotions makes us masters of ourselves, effective and serene.
HOW TO DEVELOP IT
We can transform unpleasant emotions into pleasant ones, but only after we have acknowle-
dged them. This is why self-awareness is also the basis for good self-management.
Therefore, in order to train our ability to manage emotions, it is very important first of all to
have good self-awareness and to choose the right moment: never when emotions are strong!!!
As in sport, we train a lot to come prepared for the competition with the strongest opponent!!!
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How can I turn a strong, unpleasant emotion into a pleasant one?
It is important to bear in mind that emotions are neither negative nor positive, they are ei-
ther pleasant or unpleasant, in the sense that all emotions are useful and functional, even
anger and fear... emotions are fine, they are neither right nor wrong! It is the behaviour that
needs to be changed
First of all, recognise that the feeling I am experiencing is an emotion and not, for example,
hunger or fatigue.
Tell myself before others that it is pleasant or unpleasant.
Give the emotion a NAME, e.g. ‘anxiety’.
Feel in which part of the body I feel it.
Decrease the intensity of the emotion by letting time go by:
1. telling someone how i am
2. writing
3. singing
4. going for a run
Only afterwards, when the emotion I feel is less intense and approaches calmness, can I
make it more pleasant, until I reach serenity and, why not, enthusiasm.
Points 1 to 4 are important steps of awareness, without which it is not possible to manage
emotions intentionally.
Exercise EXPLORATION OF THE SENSES (TASTE AND SMELL)
AND THE MIND
• Stimulating awareness of the association between scents and emotions
• Learning to distinguish and become aware of different scents and flavours.
How?
• Smell the flowers - you can also use oranges, tea bags or other scents.
• Linking food to its taste.
• Martian exercise. Pretend you are a Martian who knows nothing about his surround-
ings, choose food and ask for help in understanding what it is. Start with sight (what
colour is it?), shifting to touch (is it rough?) and smell (does it have a smell?). Finish with
hearing (like cereal ‘crackling’ in milk in the case of breakfast) and taste. In the end,
have him tell you what he has discovered with your experiments.
Tools: Objects with different shapes and smells, bottles of water, wrapped chocolates, ...
con i vostri esperimenti.
KNOWING HOW TO BE, KNOWING HOW TO LIVE, RELATE
BODY AWARENESS
The awareness and acceptance of our body is fundamental in many respects, both physically
and psychologically.
When we talk about body awareness we mean a total knowledge and acceptance of our bo-
dies and our limitations, so that we can live with ourselves as best we can, treat ourselves with
respect and give ourselves the attention we deserve.
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There are two basic themes: the outside and the inside.
The path of acceptance has the greatest impact on our outward appearance, how we see our-
selves in the mirror and how much our mind can distort reality, manipulated by the expecta-
tions imposed by society and the people around us.
The inner part, on the other hand, is about fully understanding how our organism speaks to us,
telling us what we need and when we need to stop.
Exercise:
BODY SCAN
Body Scan: GUIDED MEDITATION WITH BACKGROUND MUSIC
Guided body scan meditation is a powerful tool for deepening body awareness.
This type of meditation focuses on the physical sensations of the body. The
practice is accomplished by ‘scanning’ one’s awareness of the whole body and attention is
given to every inch of the body.
Body scan meditation works on different aspects, such as attention, awareness, letting go,
relying on unpleasant sensations, appreciation, venting. By consciously choosing to put our
mind on a specific area of the body, we are training our ability to pay attention.
By living through our bodies, we tune into a way of perceiving that is more central, and di-
rectly in touch with the world around us, rather than always being distracted by a thousand
complicated thoughts and concepts.
Equipment: Comfortable clothing and a surface to lie on (blankets or mat)
GUIDED MEDITATION WITH BACKGROUND MUSIC
WORKSHEET No. 15
Results of the practical exercise
People who practise body scanning have reported a deeper ability to observe and take
in bodily sensations, the capacity for awareness, at all times and in different parts of the
body, experiencing breathing and the body. The exercise usually produces a sense of re-
laxation in mind and body. By practising the exercise regularly, the person develops a
deeper understanding and perception of the body, noticing how the body is constantly
changing and improves at identifying body sensations.
Questions and considerations
As we move through the various bodily sensations, we can also discover sensations that
we do not like: discomfort and pain, irritation and boredom, sadness and numbness are
all common experiences for people practising body scanning. Our usual way of encounte-
ring these sensations is to escape from their unpleasantness by distracting, ruminating or
struggling with them.
Sometimes, however, there is nothing we can do to make them go away voluntarily. There-
fore, instead of increasing our misery by struggling with it, body scanning teaches us how
to gently lean into discomfort. Although this seems counter-intuitive, focusing on the part
of our body that causes us discomfort reduces the power of the unpleasant sensations
and helps us take our eyes off of them. Although unpleasant sensations may sometimes
occur, when we approach the sensory experience with interest, in addition to looking away
from the negative sensations we also let go of our attachment to the stressful thoughts
and reactions that are typically attached to them.
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When we pay attention with awareness, we come to observe and feel that in reality
everything is always changing. We notice how stress arises when we try to maintain ple-
asant sensations and/or reject painful ones, and we see how sensations move, shift, rise
and decrease in intensity all the time.
We can also see how we are no longer so engaged in ourselves when we let go of our fixed
sense of identity (‘My leg hurts!’) and encourage awareness of the aspects and processes
of experience (‘There is pain right now, and a thought about that pain’). Disconnecting
from erroneous assumptions about how things are - and how we are - can begin to bring
some relief.
It is important to remember not to try to relax, because this thought will only create fur-
ther stress. What you will do instead is become aware of each passing moment and accept
what is happening within you, seeing it as it is. Let go of the tendency to want things to be
different from how they are now and let things be exactly as you find them. Just watch the
activity of your mind, letting go of critical and judgmental thoughts when they arise, and
just doing what the exercise guides you to do the best you can.
Or short form: BODY AWARENESS EXERCISE
This exercise helps to notice and distinguish two parts of you:
your ‘Observing Self’, which is responsible for awareness, attention and con-
centration (it is the part of you that observes thoughts, memories, images,
but is unable to produce them) from your ‘Thinking Self’, which produces
thoughts, judgements, memories, fantasies...
In this exercise, you are asked to notice a series of things. Each time, hold your attention
for about ten seconds before moving on to the next one.
• Bring attention to your feet (10 sec)
• Bring your attention to the position of your legs (10 sec)
• Bring attention to the position and curve of your spine (10 sec)
• Bring your attention to the rhythm, speed and depth of your breathing (10 sec)
• Bring your attention to the position of your arms (10 sec)
• Bring attention to what you feel in your neck and shoulders (10 sec)
• Bring attention to your body temperature and which parts feel warmer or cooler (10
sec)
• Bring attention to the air on your skin (10 sec)
• Shift your attention along your body, starting from your head and reaching down to
your toes, and notice if there is any stiffness, tension, pain or discomfort anywhere
(10 sec)
• Shift your attention along your body, from your head to your toes, and notice if there
are any sensations of pleasure or comfort (10 sec)
Source: Harris R. (2010). The happiness trap. How to stop struggling and start living. Erickson
(p. 123)
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BEING ABLE TO VERIFY, EXPERIMENT AND SYNTHESISE
Short story:
MARCO: THE CAPTAIN OF HIS BODY
AND MIND
WORKSHEET No. 16
Exercise to do at home
Try doing the body self-awareness exercise in peace and quiet and in private. Body scanning
helps people to become friends with their body, to nourish it with appropriate and wise at-
tention and to live life to the fullest.
By becoming more in tune with their body, people can better identify the bodily expressions
of their emotions, thus reducing the tendency to eat as a response to unpleasant emotions
such as stress, sadness or boredom.
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04. Affection
FOR THE EDUCATOR
In order to become capable of humanly meaningful relationships, we must gra-
dually learn the grammar of affections; we must be «initiated» into the art of loving.
It is important to educate to recognise different feelings.
Plato said that «the purpose of education is to teach one to desire what is good».
Therefore, serious accompaniment educates to the reading and interpretation of
desire.
Desire education does not repress desires, nor does it ridicule or deny them (pp.111-112).
objectives
• Emotional awareness: helping people to understand their own emotions, to recognise and
name the different feelings they have and to develop a greater awareness of the emotions
of others.
• Managing emotions: teaching strategies to manage emotions in a healthy and effective
way, how to recognise and express emotions appropriately, self-regulate to deal with stress
and anxiety and develop positive mechanisms.
• Empathy: fostering the development of empathy, i.e. the ability to put oneself in the shoes
of others and understand their feelings and points of view, contributes to building stronger
and more positive interpersonal relationships.
• Effective communication: teaching communication skills to express one’s emotions and
needs in a clear and empathetic way, fostering open and respectful communication with
others.
• Healthy relationships: promoting the concept of healthy and respectful relationships,
whether in families, friendships or romantic relationships, through the awareness of one’s
personal boundaries and interpersonal dynamics.
Biblical figure: Priscilla and Aquila
Worksheet No. 17
Strengths and achievements:
• An outstanding husband and wife team who served in the early Church.
• They continued to build tents while serving Christ.
• Close friends of Paul.
• They explained the full message of Christ to Apollo.
Lessons from their lives:
• Couples can have an effective ministry.
• The home is a valuable tool for evangelisation.
• Every believer must be well instructed in the faith, regardless of their role in the Church.
General data:
• Location: from Rome, he moved to Corinth, then to Ephesus.
• Profession: tent maker
• Peers: Emperor Claudius, Paul, Timothy, Apollo
Key verse:
Acts 18:2
Paul met a Jew named Aquila, a native of Pontus, who had recently come from Italy
with his wife Priscilla, because Claudius had ordered all the Jews to leave Rome. He
went to visit them.
Romans 16:3-5
3 Greet Priscilla and Aquila, my co-workers in Christ Jesus, 4 who risked their necks for
my life, to whom not only am I grateful, but also all the churches of the Gentiles. 5 Greet
also the church at their house. Greet my beloved Epaenetus, who was the first fruits in
Asia for Christ.
Their story is told in Acts 18. They are also mentioned in Romans 16:3-5; 1 Corinthians 16:19;
2 Timothy 4:19.
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Path No. 04. 1
Equipment:
projector, computer, printing table, blank sheets and pens.
Duration of the meeting: 2 h 30 min
Welcome: 10 min
Discussion: 40 min
KNOWING HOW TO LOOK, KNOWING HOW TO UNDERSTAND
Discussion of the theme: A FATHER TELLS HIS DAUGHTER WHAT
EMOTIONS ARE
WORKSHEET No. 18
Emotions
1. What are emotions?
An emotion is an “intense affective reaction with acute onset of short duration determined
by an environmental stimulus (internal or external). Its appearance causes a somatic, ve-
getative and psychic modification” (Galimberti, 1992).
Emotions are experiences that bring with them reactions on a physiological, visceral,
expressive and psychological level and last for a very short time.
We should not confuse them with feelings, which can be long-lasting, I will give you an
example: you can be in love (you feel a feeling) and feel joy (you feel an emotion) when
you see your loved one, sadness when you have not seen them for a while, jealousy if
you feel they are interested in another person.
Thus, while the feeling of love (or hate or regret) is lasting, the emotion is brief and mo-
mentary, linked to a temporary stimulus.
2. What are the main emotions:
• Fear
• Joy
• Anger
• Sadness
• Boredom
• Shame
• Disgust
• Guilt
• Envy
• Jealousy
Emotions can be experienced at different levels. We can, in fact, experience mild fru-
stration or feel enraged, in both cases we are talking about the emotion of anger at
different levels: imagine a hypothetical internal thermometer: we could say that in the
first case we experience anger at level 1, while in the second case at level 10.
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EMOTION THERMOMETER
WORKSHEET No. 19
If you think about it, while when we experience an emotion with a very strong
intensity it is easier to recognise it and give it a name it (e.g. if we are angry),
at a minimal level it becomes more difficult to define it (e.g. we may feel slight di-
scomfort, a slight unease, and it is difficult to tell whether it is slight sadness or slight
anger).
Learning to distinguish emotions on a minimal level is the first useful step in begin-
ning to be able to manage them. Knowing how to recognise and manage emotions is
the first essential step in fighting anxiety and panic!
A good exercise can be to start with mild unpleasant emotions: the next
time you experience such an emotion, try asking yourself: “Which emotion
does what I am feeling most resemble?” and if you don’t remember them,
it can be helpful to go back and read what they are. Try it!
KNOWING HOW TO CONNECT, FEEL, BUILD
What are emotions for?
Recognising one’s emotional experiences, instead of repressing them, is very important for more
effective relationships. Emotions are our road signs that tell us something about ourselves, so-
mething very important.
Anger, for example, is a bit like a red light, telling us to stop because something is not going right
and we need to try to understand what it is and possibly review our goals or the way we are trying
to achieve them.
Joy, on the other hand, is like a green light: it tells us that things are going the way we want and
that it is worth continuing on this path.
Fear is like a yellow light, it warns us that there is danger and that we must be careful.
Sadness is a slightly different red light in the sense that it tells us to stop because we have ‘lost’
something and we need to regain the energy to find a way to move on despite what we have lost.
As you can imagine, deciding to repress an emotion or not listen to it means losing a wealth of
important information about who we are and what we desire, and above all, it means risking pur-
suing paths other than the ones we really want.
In this sense, we can strongly affirm that there are no such things as negative emotions, but ple-
asant and unpleasant emotions, because all emotions have a purpose for us and are therefore
positive.
In fact, I’ll tell you more: the more unpleasant our emotions are, the more positive they are, in
the sense that they are important signals that we need to take into account in order to change
something, inside or outside ourselves, to strive for greater well-being.
Everyone has their favourite emotion ...
Unfortunately, it is not so obvious and easy to recognise the emotions we feel, most times we have
not been taught to listen to ourselves emotionally, on the contrary, sometimes the people who
have cared for us have told us that certain emotional expressions are not accepted and so we have
grown up with the mistaken belief that it is better to repress them.
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Let me give an example: if every time a child expresses anger his mother gets annoyed or fri-
ghtened, saying “You are a naughty child!” because she herself is not used to accepting anger,
the child will gradually learn to repress this emotion.
This is an absolutely normal and functional process for adaptation and survival, the problem
is when the mechanism becomes rigid and persists into adulthood, so that those who, for
example, have learnt to repress anger, no longer give themselves permission to express it in
any context, even when it would be desirable and useful to do so.
What will happen then? I tell you one thing: we cannot decide our emotions! we can only
live them, at best manage them!
This means that even if the child who has learnt to repress anger doesn’t want to feel it, he will
not be able to, because the emotions will still emerge, but since he has not learnt to accept it
as a natural and legitimate emotion, every time he feels anger as an adult he will not recogni-
se it as such, but will only be aware of the physiological activation of anger (my heart beats,
I turn red, I stiffen up) and will probably be frightened to the point of anxiety or even panic.
And this is something you must realise right away: beneath the anxiety there is an emotion
that you cannot recognise or which you don’t want to accept because you don’t feel it is
suitable for that context!
*
We cannot decide our emotions! We can only experience them,
at best manage them!
Thoughts and emotions
Very often our emotions are linked to our thoughts, to what we say in our mind. For example, if we
feel ashamed, it is likely that we are thinking we have done something wrong or that someone is
judging us wrongly, etc. Actually, it is not the events themselves that determine our emotional re-
sponses, but rather the interpretation we give to the events in our mind. When an emotion is very
intense, i.e. on a scale of 1 to 10 it is 7, 8, 9, and above all seems out of proportion to the context
or stimulus that aroused it, it is likely that what is called irrational thinking is going on in our minds.
An irrational thought is a rigid thought that seems absolutely realistic to us, even though reality
proves otherwise. Let us look at the main categories of irrational thoughts below.
*
It is not the events themselves that determine our emotional
responses, but the interpretation we give to the events in our head.
To practise with emotions, it is advisable to propose WORKSHEET NO. 20 and
have them do a few exercises, to be continued at home. Also read together the
Charter of Emotional Rights on the worksheet.
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KNOWING HOW TO BE, KNOWING HOW TO LIVE, RELATE
Exercise CRUMPLING EMOTIONS
Excerpt from the book “Trauma Focused ACT”, by Russ Harris
(translation by Chiara Rossi Urtoler)
One can adapt the script to any painful emotion, in order to foster acceptan-
ce and self -compassion and connect with values.
1. write: You are asked to identify a memory that triggers the emotion you want to work
on. On a sheet of paper, write a few words (maximum one sentence) to summarise it.
2. crumple: Educator: Now crumple up this memory and all the thoughts and feelings
arising from it and make it as small as possible. It is very difficult to crumple it up com-
pletely - no half measures ... That’s it ...
Now put it between your palms and use both arms and hands to try to crumple it even
smaller ... Push as hard as you can ... and keep pushing.
3. squeeze: Educator: Keep the pressure on, squeezing hard ... As hard as you can ... Ma-
king it as small as you can... And notice how it is...
How tiring is it? ...
How distracting? ...
How difficult is it to do the things that matter to you while you’re squeezing the paper?
...
How much time and energy have you spent doing this throughout your life? ...
And isn’t it exhausting? ...
Since there is no ‘delete button’ in the brain, there is no way to simply make it disappe-
ar, would you be open to trying something different?
Would you like to? Great!
4. Hold it gently Educator: now hold it as if it were a crying baby, a puppy seeking atten-
tion, or the hand of a loved one who is suffering ...
And notice the difference it makes ...
Is there any relief for you in this? ...
Is it perhaps less annoying, less tiring? ...
Notice how much energy you now have to put into things that are meaningful to you ...
5. Consider what it conveys to you: Educator: keep holdings it this way and consider:
what does it tell you about what matters to you? ...
What values does it remind you of? ...
And also consider that you cannot change the past, but you can influence the future
with actions in the present ... So moving on, in the coming days, what do you want to
do in the world to make it a better place for you, according to your values? ... To prevent
such things from happening again?
6. Appreciate it: Educator: Notice that when you hold the paper and thus your emotions in
this way, lightly and gently, this emotion can be your ally ... because it will remind you of
your values ... it will motivate you to behave like the person you want to be ...
And although it hurts tremendously, it gives you valuable information ...
This emotion comes from your mind, your brain and your body working together, to
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watch over you, to protect you... So, even if it hurts, see if just for a moment, you can
appreciate it.
7. Tighten, then ease: Educator: Now, just for a few moments, go back to trying to crum-
ple and squeeze the paper ...
Again, squeeze it hard with both hands, both arms, squeezing it as hard as you can ...
And maintain the pressure, with all your strength, and notice how tiring it becomes ...
And now, once again, hold it gently ... like a crying baby or a whining puppy, or the
hand of a loved one in difficulty... And notice the difference....
And take it gently with both hands ... and imagine that the space around it is filled
with warmth, care and kindness ...
8. self-compassion: Educator: And see if you can transmit the same warmth, care and
kindness to yourself ... Imagine a kind of energy ... flowing from the palms of your
hands... and flowing onto your arms and into your heart ... and from there, flowing up
and down your body ... and wherever there is pain, tension or numbness, this warm,
gentle energy flows into those areas ... softening and loosening around them.
(The educator now directs to ‘zoom in’ on specific areas of pain, tension or numb-
ness and works as in other acceptance and self-compassion exercises: recognising
the pain and responding with kindness).
9. anchoring and debriefing: The exercise ends with one minute of anchoring. Then we
review the exercise, what has happened and we explore the impact of acceptance and
self-compassion and emphasise its values.
BEING ABLE TO VERIFY, EXPERIMENT AND SYNTHESISE
Exercise:
RECOGNISING YOUR EMOTIONS
1. Preparation: Make sure you have pen and paper.
2. Reflection: Take a few minutes to think about the different emotions you
feel. You can make a list of basic emotions such as joy, sadness, anger, fear, disgust and
surprise, or you can think about more specific emotions you have felt recently.
3. Exploration of emotions: Choose one of the emotions you have identified and write it
down at the top of a piece of paper. Make a list of situations, events or thoughts that
could trigger that particular emotion. For example, if you chose joy, you could write
down situations such as “receiving good news” or “spending time with friends”.
4.Descriptionofemotion:Now, for the same emotion, try to describe how you feel physically,
mentally and emotionally when you experience it. Write down the physical sensations,
the thoughts that go through your mind and the emotional reactions you experience.
For example, if you chose sadness, you could describe a feeling of heaviness in your
chest, negative thoughts about your situation and a feeling of despair.
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5. Observe emotions in others: observe the people around you or think of situations in
which you have seen emotions in others. Try to identify facial expressions, gestures,
tone of voice and other non-verbal signals that indicate the emotion they are feeling.
For example, you may notice that an angry person has a red face, clenched fists and a
high tone of voice.
6. Practical application: try to put your emotion recognition skills into practice in everyday
life. Observe your own emotions and try to identify them as they occur. Do the same
with the emotions of others, trying to pick up non-verbal signals and interpret their
facial expressions.
Recognising emotions is a process that requires practice and patience. Keep practising
recognising and understanding your emotions and those of others, and over time you
will improve your ability to manage and communicate emotions in a healthy and ef-
fective way.
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Path No. 04.2
Equipment:
video projector, computer, paper and pens, printed worksheets.
Duration of the meeting: 1h 15 min
Welcome:
10 min
Discussion:
30 min
KNOWING HOW TO LOOK, KNOWING HOW TO UNDERSTAND
Discussion of the theme: LIFE VALUES
taken from the book by Harris, R. (2016. Erickson
Study Centre EditionsThe Happiness
Trap. How to stop struggling and start living
WORKSHEET NO. 21
KNOWING HOW TO CONNECT, FEEL, BUILD
Listed below are the areas of life that some people value. We do not all have the same values
and this is not a test to see if you have the ‘right’ values. Think of each of these areas in terms
of general life guidelines, rather than in terms of specific goals. There may be some areas that
you do not really value; skip them if you want. There may be some areas that overlap; for exam-
ple, if hiking in the mountains is important to you, this could fall under both self-care/physical
well-being and leisure/entertainment. Write down what you would appreciate if there were no
obstacles in your path.
What is important to you? What would you like to engage in?
1. Family (family of origin, apart from marriage or children). What kind of brother/sister, son/
daughter, uncle/aunt would you like to be? What personal qualities would you like to bring
into these relationships? What kind of relationships would you like to build? How would you
interact with these people if you were the “ideal you” in these relationships?
2. Marriage/couple/intimate relationships. What kind of partner would you like to be in an
intimate relationship? What personal qualities would you like to develop? What kind of re-
lationship would you like to build? How would you interact with your partner if you were the
‘ideal you’ in these relationships?
3. Parenting. What kind of parent would you like to be? What personal qualities would you
like to have? What kind of relationships would you like to establish with your children? How
would you behave if you were the ‘ideal you’ in these relationships?
4. Friendships/social life. What kind of personal qualities would you like to bring into your
friendships? If you could be best friends, how would you behave with your friends? What kind
of friendships would you like to build?
5. Work. What do you appreciate about your work? What could make it more meaningful? What
kind of worker would you like to be? If you could live up to your ideal standards, what perso-
nal qualities would you bring to your work? What kind of professional relationship would you
like to build?
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6. Education/training. What do you value about learning, education and training? What new
skills would you like to learn? What knowledge would you like to acquire? What kind of fur-
ther training would you like to have? What kind of student would you like to be? What perso-
nal qualities would you like to put into practice?
7. Free time/entertainment. What kind of hobbies, sports or leisure activities do you enjoy?
How do you relax and relieve stress? How do you have fun? What kind of activities would you
like to do?
8. Spirituality. Whatever meaning you give to spirituality is fine. It can be something as simple
as contact with nature or as formal as participation in an organised religious group. What is
important to you in this area of life?
9. Civic involvement/community life. How would you like to contribute to your community
or environment, e.g. by volunteering, recycling, supporting a group/charity/political party?
What kind of environment would you like to create in the contexts you usually live in and
attend? In which environments would you like to spend more time?
10. Self-care/physical well-being. What are your values with regard to maintaining physical
well-being? How do you want to take care of your health, with reference to sleep, nutrition,
physical activity, smoking, alcohol, etc.? Why is this important?
KNOWING HOW TO BE, KNOWING HOW TO LIVE, RELATE
ASSESSMENT OF LIFE VALUES
WORKSHEET No. 22
For each of the ten areas, write a few words summarising the direction you va-
lue, e.g. “being a loving and caring partner”. Indicate how important this value is to you
on a scale of 0 (not very important) to 10 (very important). You can give the same score
to more than one value. Indicate to what extent you have been able to fulfil this value
over the past month on a scale of 0 (not at all) to 10 (very much).
Finally, rank these in order of priority to start working on them immediately, giving 10 to
the highest priority, 9 to the next step, etc.
BEING ABLE TO VERIFY, EXPERIMENT AND SYNTHESISE
THE BULL’S EYE
WORKSHEET No. 23
What is really important to you, deep down in your heart? What do you want to
do with your time on this planet? What kind of person do you want to be? What personal
resources or qualities do you want to develop?
1. Work/study: includes workplace, career, education/training, skill development, etc.
2. Relationships: includes partners, children, parents, relatives, colleagues and other
social contacts.
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3. Personal growth/health: may include religion, spirituality, creativity, life skills, me-
ditation, yoga, nature; physical activity, nutrition and/or addressing risk factors for
health such as smoking, alcohol, drugs, eating too much, etc.
4. Leisure: your ways of playing, relaxing, finding stimulation or having fun; activities
to rest, recreate and be creative.
The bull’s eye: place an X in each area of the target to indicate where you are today.
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05. Educating to
community life
FOR THE EDUCATOR
“The culture of encounter in the various Salesian environments is not a sum, but the
construction of a “we”; it is not a contract, but a bond of deep affection; it is not a
fusion, but a oneness that is two; it is not something pre-established, but a space
that must be created and recreated” (ibid., p. 115).
objectives
The community is the privileged place where the person can realise the project of self and
develop solidarity and participation to the highest degree. This, however, is a difficult, often
unattainable ideal. Today the need for community is felt everywhere, but at the same time we
witness the discomfort of individuals who often fail to fit in or are marginalised.
This is perhaps because the problem of the person-community relationship, which is a source
of discomfort or disadaptation, has not yet been sufficiently analysed and resolved. There is,
in fact, a generally conflictual relationship between the needs of the person and those of the
community. It is a matter of harmonising two complementary aspects of the same reality,
without prejudicing either component.
Living in the community is very important and can offer numerous benefits. Some of the goals
that can be achieved by living in the community are listed below:
• Social support: Living in a community provides the opportunity to establish meaningful
social ties and build positive relationships with others. This social support can be valuable
for the emotional and psychological well-being of individuals. Communities can provide
mutual support in times of need, promote inclusion and fight loneliness.
• Resource sharing: Communities offer the possibility of sharing resources, such as com-
mon spaces, equipment, knowledge and skills. This sharing can lead to greater efficiency
and a better use of the resources available.
• Safety and security: Living in a community can contribute to a safer environment. Close-
ness and mutual trust among community members foster greater vigilance and solidarity
in ensuring collective safety. Communities can implement safety measures by promoting a
sense of belonging and protection.
• Personal growth and development: communities can offer many opportunities for learn-
ing, growth and personal development. Through interaction with different people, new
perspectives, skills and knowledge can be acquired. Communities can also provide a sup-
portive environment for the development of social skills, leadership and collaboration.
• Participation and civic involvement: Living in a community encourages civic activism and
social involvement. People living in a community can actively participate in improving the
local environment, contributing to a better quality of life. Participation in voluntary groups,
neighbourhood associations or community organisations provides the opportunity to pos-
itively influence one’s environment and meet collective needs.
Everyone should be welcomed in the community, including the different, the immature, the
underprivileged, the unsuccessful. Community building is therefore a primary goal in our time,
as it alone can allow the development and inclusion of everyone without discrimination.
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Biblical figure: Mary
Worksheet No. 24
Strengths and achievements:
• Mother of Jesus, the Messiah
• The only human being who was with Jesus from his birth to his death.
• Willingness to be useful to God
• She knew and applied the Word of God
Lessons from her life:
• The best servants of God are often simple people, who are willing to serve him.
• God’s plans include extraordinary deeds in simple people.
• A person’s character is revealed by their response to the unexpected.
General information:
• Location: Nazareth, Bethlehem
• Occupation: housewife
• Family:
• Husband: Joseph
• Relatives: Zechariah and Elisabeth.
• Sons: Jesus, James, Joseph, Judas and Simon, as well as daughters.
Key verse:
Luke 1:38
“Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord; let it be done to me according to thy word”
The story of Mary is told in all the Gospels. It is also mentioned in Acts 1:14.
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Path No. 05.1
Equipment: projector, computer, photocopies of poems and song lyrics,
blank sheets and pens.
Duration of the meeting: 2 h
Welcome: 10 min
Discussion: 30 min
OBSERVE, RECOGNISE, IDENTIFY
ON THE TOPIC:
NEW STORY
WORKSHEET No. 25
Feeling welcome in the community and welcoming the feelings of fathers and mothers.
The participants, in pairs or small groups, reflect on some questions that will be proposed
to them and then bring their considerations back into the room:
• Try to identify with the father of the child, how would you feel?
• What does it mean to be a father?
• What does it mean to be a son?
• When we are told that God is Father, what face do we give to Him? Could he have the
face of the child’s father?
• What is God to me?
• Who do I think I am to the FATHER?
In-depth analysis of the theme:
In the story we read and on which you reflected, the contrast between the fear and crying of
the father and the absolute calm and security of the child is striking. In his father’s arms, that
child knows no fear, no anxiety, no suffering. Between him and tragedy, between him and the
evil of reality, there is a formidable stronghold formed by those arms.
Perhaps unable to protect him from the violence of a murderous madman or the catastrophes
of the world, but certainly able to defend his serenity. In those arms that child could go throu-
gh anything, but neither fear nor the wickedness of the world could in any way reach him and
ruin his innocence.
Jesus lived his entire existence within that embrace and was able to face the cross precisely
thanks to the strength of that bond, of a fatherly love that sustained him until his last cry of
pain before the mystery of death was fulfilled.
God also wants to be ABBA to us, He wants us to approach Him with the same filial attitude
and learn from Him to be loving fathers and mothers.
The Father teaches us to love and to find the strength for this delicate and important task en-
trusted to us with the arrival of a child which often frightens us. From the Father we can learn,
we can come to know that gratuitous and unconditional love, that love that does not look at
who you are, whether you are a sinner or whatever, but is just there. The Father invites us to
ask for this love for our children, so that we don’t lack anything.
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KNOWING HOW TO CONNECT, FEEL, BUILD
FIRST OF ALL MAN - Nazim Hikmet
WORKSHEET No. 26
Hand out to everyone the poem
To come back to our life:
After receiving the poem, you should reflect on the questions by underlining the words
or phrases that struck you. Then respond individually and later share these points in the
assembly:
• What is your idea of home?
• What is home for you and what characteristics does it have?
• Where do you feel at home?
KNOWING HOW TO BE, KNOWING HOW TO LIVE, RELATE
PERFUME - Max Pezzali
WORKSHEET No. 27
Are projected and handed out
To come back to our life:
After listening to the song the children are invited to discuss the following questions:
• Am I aware of how much a small gesture of love can amplify and also do good to
those who see it being done?
• What scent does my daily passage leave among family, friends, and the people I
meet?
• Am I capable of spreading the fragrance of Jesus in my family, in the contexts I
which I live in and outside?
BEING ABLE TO VERIFY, EXPERIMENT AND SYNTHESISE
PASS THE FAVOUR from the film A Dream for Tomorrow
WORKSHEET No. 28
Video Answer this question:
• In a community, is Trevor’s thinking feasible or not?
IMPEGNO:
FAVOUR
think of help you have given to a friend, or relative, in the past, and think of the
effects that this act of generosity brought to that person.
think of a person who is in need of help right now, and make an effort to help
this person, inviting them, however, to do the same for three other people after
they have received this help.
a “long-term favour,” that is, do a favour for a person who really needs it, even
in the future, but to whom you will then explain the same process.
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Path No. 05.2
Equipment:
Duration of the meeting:
Welcome:
Discussion:
projector, computer, printout of the song, test printout, strips
of coloured paper.
2h
10 min
30 min
OBSERVE, RECOGNISE, IDENTIFY
Discussion of the theme: BENVENUTO - Laura Pausini
WORKSHEET No. 29
Material: photocopies of pictures depicting various types of people
in different situations.
While listening to the song, some pictures are placed on the floor and the kids have to
choose the one that best represents them.
The kids, divided into small groups, are invited to reflect on the following questions:
• On what occasions was I aware that I had been accepted?
• What attitudes/words close/open you to acceptance?
• Have you ever tried to remember them in moments of prayer?
• What do the photos suggest to you?
Exercise:
“THE WELCOMING GAME
Objective: To teach the importance of acceptance and inclusion
in the community.
Instructions:
1. Welcoming circle: Form a circle and ask the kids to briefly tell about an experience
in which they felt welcomed or excluded by a group of people. This can be a happy
moment when they felt welcomed or a moment when they felt excluded or isolated.
2. Guided discussion: Start a guided discussion based on the experiences shared. Ask
them how they felt in both situations and what they learned from these experiences.
Stress the importance of acceptance and inclusion to create strong communities.
3. The encirclement game: Ask them to form a big circle. Then, choose one of the par-
ticipants at random and ask him/her to stand in the middle of the circle. The others
represent the community.
4. Roles of welcoming and excluding: Explain that the person in the centre represents
a person who has just moved into the youth centre or school. Some circle members
should act as ‘welcoming’ and actively try to involve the boy in the centre, while
others should be ‘excluding’ and ignore him.
5. Role rotation: After a while, rotate the roles so that everyone has the opportunity to
experience both acceptance and exclusion.
6. Final discussion: At the end of the activity, bring the group together and discuss the
feelings and reflections that have emerged. Ask them how they felt about the role of
guest and outcast and how this can affect the well-being of a community.
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7. Commitment to welcome: Conclude the activity by encouraging young people to
make a personal commitment to be more welcoming in their community. Ask them
to share ideas on how they can help create a more welcoming environment for all.
KNOWING HOW TO CONNECT, FEEL, BUILD
Test:
ARE YOU CAPABLE OF WELCOMING?
WORKSHEET No. 30
Score: Add up the score of each question
The total score is:
abcde f gh
1 0 1 0 1 1 0 0 1
200110101
300110011
400110110
SOLUTIONS:
O to 5 points: sometimes we do not realise that underprivileged people are people who
need our help. You must not rely only on values such as efficiency! Be careful because
your attitude may be isolating. Try to put yourself in these people’s shoes: how would
you want to be regarded if you were in their place?
6 to 10 points: your readiness to accept is still rather limited. You need to pay more
attention to feelings of selfishness that may hold back your openness to others. With
a little effort, however, you will be able to overcome this closure. You’ll see: caring for
others will give you great satisfaction.
11 to 13 points: you have learnt to interpret the reality you live in and understand that
there is room for everyone. This attitude enriches your relationships and allows you to
see the positive side of people. Keep up the good work!
14-16 points: you have a great passion for others. Try by your example to involve even
those who are less interested in such matters. With your ‘charge’ you can certainly do
this.
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BEING ABLE TO VERIFY, EXPERIMENT AND SYNTHESISE
Commitment to be made: Be open to get to know your community environment better be-
cause sometimes we isolate ourselves in our friendships, in our homes, and in our streets,
without caring about the people who live next to us. Let us establish a relationship of fraternity
and cordiality with them.
Exercise
THE HUMAN CHAIN OF SHARING
Educating to community life and the importance of sharing and social
support is crucial for developing their interpersonal skills and sense of
belonging. Here is a practical exercise:
Objective: To promote awareness of the importance of sharing and support among com-
munity members.
Instructions:
1. Sharing circle: Form a circle and ask each person to share a moment when they felt
supported by someone (a friend, a family member or a teacher) and how they felt than-
ks to this support.
2. Build a chain: Hand out strips of coloured paper and ask them to write a short sentence
about sharing, friendship or social support. For example: ‘Sharing makes us stronger’
or ‘Friends are like a second family’.
3. Assemble the chain: Each strip of paper represents a link in the chain. The youngsters
read their statements aloud and physically connect the paper strips to form a human
chain. This chain symbolises the importance of joining forces and sharing in order to
create a strong community.
4. Discussion: After assembling the chain, lead a discussion on the symbolic meaning of
the activity. Ask them how they felt about helping to build the chain and how this can
be applied in everyday life.
5. Action Plan: Conclude the exercise by encouraging young people to think of ways in
which they can promote sharing and social support in their community and to engage
in small daily actions to do so.
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06. Educating to
the awareness of limits
FOR THE EDUCATOR
“Training in the areas of emotion and instinct is necessary, and at times this requi-
res setting limits. Excess, lack of control or obsession with a single form of pleasure
can end up weakening and tainting that very pleasure and damaging family life.
A person can certainly channel his passions in a beautiful and healthy way, in-
creasingly pointing them towards altruism and an integrated self-fulfilment that
can only enrich interpersonal relationships in the heart of the family. This does
not mean renouncing moments of intense enjoyment, but rather integrating them
with other moments of generous commitment, patient hope, inevitable weariness
and struggle to achieve an ideal. Family life is all this, and it deserves to be lived to
the fullest” (AL 148).
objectives
Limit: in the dictionary we find several expressions corresponding to this word; this confirms
the multitude of experiences, representations and meanings associated with it. The limit is a
“line that divides”, but it is also an “extreme point something can reach”, “a term that cannot
and must not be exceeded”. Etymologically (from the Latin limes), a limit indicates precisely
a transversal path, which acts as a border or boundary. For the ancient Romans, they were
stones that marked boundaries and could not be removed without malice, since they were
under the special protection of a god.
• The limit is not only prefigured as something that creates division, that distances and shat-
ters, but also as a boundary, that is, a space of crossing and proximity.
• It does not only mark what is not there and what cannot be achieved, but also what can be
achieved: in defining, in restricting, it does not only establish obstacles, constraints, and
constrictions, but it creates spaces of possibility, territories in which we can move around
peacefully and find areas of independence and strength. Etty Hillesum writes: ‘We must be
able to recover our narrow boundaries and continue our limited life within them - scrupu-
lously and conscientiously’.
Education to the awareness of our limits can have several objectives involving the individual,
society and the surrounding environment. Here are some of the main objectives:
• Personal awareness: helping people develop a personal awareness of their physical, emo-
tional, mental and spiritual limits. This involves understanding and accepting ourselves,
and our strengths and weaknesses. The aim is to promote a sense of balance and authen-
ticity in our life.
• Self-management: developing the ability to manage our time, resources and energy ef-
fectively. This may include learning the skills of planning, prioritisation, delegation and
self-control. The aim is to avoid over-commitment, burnout and emotional exhaustion.
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• Healthy relationships: helping to develop healthy and balanced relationships with oth-
ers. This means recognising and respecting our personal boundaries and those of others,
knowing how to say ‘no’ when necessary and seeking mutual understanding. The aim is
to promote an environment of respect, cooperation and mutual support.
• Environmental sustainability: Education to the awareness of limits also extends to the
awareness of the impact of our actions on the environment. Objectives in this area in-
clude the promotion of sustainable lifestyles, the responsible consumption of natural
resources, waste reduction and the adoption of environmentally conscious practices.
• Social equity: contributing to the creation of a more just and equitable society. This in-
volves the recognition of resource limits and a commitment to reducing social and eco-
nomic inequalities. The aim is to promote equal access to opportunities, services and
resources for all members of society.
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Biblical figure: Saulo
Worksheet No. 31
Strengths and achievements:
• First king of Israel appointed by God.
• Known for his personal courage and generosity.
• Tall and imposing appearance
Shortcomings and errors:
• His leadership skills were not consistent with the expectations created by his appearance.
• Impulsive by nature, he tended to exceed his limits
• Jealous of David, he tried to kill him.
• In particular, he disobeyed God on several occasions.
Lessons from his life:
• God wants obedience that comes from the heart, not mere acts of religious ritual.
• Obedience always involves sacrifice, but sacrifice is not always obedience.
• God wants to use our strengths and weaknesses.
• Weakness must help to remind us of our need for God’s guidance and help.
General data:
• Where: The Land of Benjamin
• Occupation: King of Israel
• Family:
• Father: Kish.
• Sons: Jonathan, Ish-Bosheth.
• Wife: Ahinoam
Key Verses:
Samuel 15:22, 23
1 Samuel said: “Does the Lord so delight in holocausts and sacrifices as in obedience to
the command of the LORD? Obedience is better than sacrifice, and submission than the
fat of rams. For a sin like divination is rebellion, and presumption is the crime of idolatry.
Because you have rejected the command of the LORD, he, too, has rejected you as ruler.”
His story is told in 1 Samuel 9-31. He is also mentioned in Acts 13:21.
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Path No. 06.1
Equipment:
Duration of the meeting:
Welcome:
Discussion:
video projector, computer, mat/carpet, passage to be printed
2h 30 min
10 min
30 min
OBSERVE, RECOGNISE, EXTRACT
Discussion of the theme: LIMITS AND FREEDOM (focus group)
What does limiting yourself mean? Limiting yourself in relation to what? Why?
First of all, it is necessary to be able to recognise our own needs.
In psychology, need is the total or partial lack of one or more elements that constitute a
person’s well-being.
Recall the author Abraham Maslow who developed this concept by defining a scale of
needs. This scale, known as “Maslow’s pyramid”, is divided into five different levels, from
the most basic (necessary for the survival of the individual) to the most complex (social).
The individual reaches fulfilment by passing through various stages, which must be achie-
ved in a progressive way.
The conceived levels of need are:
• physiological needs;
• needs for salvation, safety and security;
• needs of belonging;
• needs for esteem, prestige, success;
• self-fulfilment needs.
What does a person need? He needs to be free, free to choose.
What does freedom mean?
Here are some sentences that can be projected or printed:
Freedom means responsibility. That is why most men dread it
(George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman, 1903).
Freedom is defined as the condition whereby an individual can decide to think, express him-
self and act without constraint, resorting to the will to devise and enact an action, through a
free choice of the ends and means he deems useful to achieve it.
Where there is reason there is choice, where there is choice there is freedom. (Oriana Fallaci)
Being free therefore means being in a position to choose between different alternatives.
Free to choose for ourselves, with respect to how we live our lives.
Freedom would be not to choose between black and white but to abjure such prescribed
choices. (Theodor Adorno, Minima moralia, 1951).
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Exercise:
THE GARDEN OF BOUNDARIES
WORKSHEET No. 32
This meditation will help reflect on the nature of limits and freedom and
develop a greater awareness of their interconnection.
Finding a balance between these two dimensions is essential for a fulfilling and mea-
ningful life.
KNOWING HOW TO CONNECT, FEEL, BUILD
IL PAESE DEI BALOCCHI - Pooh
WORKSHEET No. 33
What does limit have to do with freedom? How are they connected?
(reflect with the youngsters starting from these ideas)
The backbone of modern society is based on the principle: unlimited, everything is pos-
sible, hence the expectation of everything, immediately. (Grandi, 2007)
Reflecting on the meaning of everything is possible, which can take on a negative conno-
tation, if we consider this slogan as a drive towards having instead of being. According to
this logic, it is therefore necessary to have everything in order to be, in a clumsy attempt
to buy ourselves an identity.
Modern man, therefore, feels entitled, with respect to social values, to live in the world
and desire the almost obstinate and unscrupulous fulfilment of his own goals at any cost.
A Machiavellian vision of man aimed at self-affirmation and the oppression of his fellow
man.
• What are the limits of this rampant rise towards success, towards perfection? To-
wards what? To become or believe to be who?
In a society devoted to having, to appearing, to proving, I believe we are unfortunately
faced with the distressing tendency whereby people assume value according to what
they possess. In other words, we arrive at the unacceptable equation of having=being.
In a society where the mass media transmit false values such as appearance (vanity),
and possession (pride), are we really still free to choose: what we want, what we have,
what we desire and who we are?
• Are we still free to be ourselves or are we rather forced to conform and become the
caricature of a TV model?
• What is the price of inhabiting our bodies and trying to become another person?
• How can we recognise our limitations if we are not even able to be recognised as
persons in our uniqueness?
Unfortunately, many young people and adults, intoxicated by worldliness, carelessness
and the desire to act live in a surreal, fantasy world: ‘Toyland’ based on fun, on the ‘here
and now’. Where the words: effort and sacrifice are banned, since they are considered
bad words.
Toyland is ephemeral, magical, glittering, everything is at your fingertips, everything is
possible. From what has just been said, it is easy to see how the common denominator
leads to instant gratification.
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Many young people approach the use and consumption of drugs in this way, entering the
tunnel of drugs. At first, the novice has the illusion of having an omnipotent control of the
situation, but unfortunately these moments of fun and exhilaration can destroy the lives
of many young people, turning it into the nightmare of addiction.
The frequency, context and relationships associated with the use of drugs determine the
lifestyle of the addict.
Every being born into the world grows with freedom and is stunted by dependence (Sil-
vano Agosti, Letters from Kyrgyzstan, 2004).
The paradox is that young people approach the world of drugs thinking they are mentally
open to new experiences and end up being addicted to them.
A person without limits becomes the limit of himself (Danila Parodi)
KNOWING HOW TO BE, KNOWING HOW TO LIVE, RELATE
Excercise:
ON LIMIT, PROXIMITY, DISTANCE
Objectives:
• supporting participants in testing their limits
• supporting participants in expressing messages that represent their desires and choices
Preparation
Make sure you have a room without tables and chairs. It would be optimal to do the activity
in a gym or outdoors.
Introduction - 15 min
Invite the kids to stand in a circle. Inform them that during the activity they will experience
their own limits in relation to ‘physical proximity’.
Realisation - 35 min
Divide the participants into two groups and invite them to stand in two rows, facing each other.
Participants in one row will stay still, while those in the opposite row will move towards their
partner.
Each participant will stop only when his partner says STOP! Those moving will have to think
to themselves: how close do I feel like getting? And the one standing still will have to con-
nect and ask himself: is the closeness he has chosen right? Has he come too close? Could
he have come closer?
Repeat the activity two or three times, so that all participants can experience both ‘moving
towards others’ and ‘welcoming others’ into their personal space.
At the end of the activity, invite participants to sit in a circle for the debriefing phase (20
minutes).
The following questions can be used for debriefing:
• How do you feel?
• How was the activity carried out?
• In which role did you feel most comfortable?
• What does this activity tell us about ourselves and the way we communicate our con-
sent and disagreement?
• In everyday life, is it easy for us to say ‘no’ when we do not agree?
• Is it easy to give consent consciously and authentically in interpersonal relationships?
• What can we learn from this activity on informed consent?
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BEING ABLE TO VERIFY, EXPERIMENT AND SYNTHESISE
Short story:
THE BUTTERFLY AND THE CAGE
WORKSHEET No. 34
Aurora and Leo’s story reminds us that freedom is precious, but boundaries
can offer security and protection. It is important to find a balance between
exploring the world and respecting the boundaries that guide us. The awareness of boun-
daries allows us to truly appreciate the freedom we have and to live a meaningful and
harmonious life.
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Path No. 06. 2
Equipment: projector, computer, printed worksheet
Duration of the meeting: 2h 30 m
Welcome: time 10’
Discussion: time 30’
OBSERVE, RECOGNISE, EXTRACT
Discussion of the theme: FREEDOM OF CHOICE
Objectives:
• learning to stop and listen to each other
• developing awareness of our emotions
Preparation
“Between stimulus and response there is a space: in that space is our power to cho-
ose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom” Victor Frankl,
Man’s Search for Meaning, 1946
Before doing this activity, make sure you have experienced mindfulness yourself
and reflected on the ‘automatic reaction’.
Usually, our automatic reaction to the situation happens so quickly that there is no
space between the two things. It is as if they were glued together.
But when we manage, through training, to bring awareness into a situation, then it
becomes increasingly possible to create sufficient space between the situation and
the reaction.
This changes everything: it is at that point that our automatic reaction becomes a
response instead: based on an awareness of how we are, and the causes and conse-
quences, we can make healthier choices that respect ourselves and others.
For this activity, organise the room so that there are enough chairs for all participan-
ts and make sure that you have prepared all the materials needed for facilitation.
Invite participants to sit comfortably on the chairs you have prepared in the room.
Inform them that they will experience something new and that you will work on
‘automatic reaction’.
Give examples to make the subject clear.
Introduction - 10 min
Invite the participants to sit comfortably on the chairs you have prepared in the
room.
KNOWING HOW TO CONNECT, FEEL, BUILD
Realisation - 80 min
Phase 1: guided reflection (15 minutes)
Invite participants to get comfortable, close their eyes, take a few conscious breaths
and follow the guided reflection you propose, as follows:
“Imagine that for a few moments someone does something that makes you very angry
- an argument with a friend, someone who hits you, someone shouting at you, someone
disagreeing with you. Now imagine your usual reaction, that of ‘automatic pilot’.
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• What do you say, how do you behave? Do you shout, swear, say things you later
regret? Imagine you have one of these reactions.
Now go back and imagine the situation again, but dwell on the moment before your
reaction. First observe where you feel the anger in your body. See if you can identify
where it is.
• Also notice the thoughts associated with this anger. Are they thoughts of revenge,
hatred, wickness, disappointment?
• Can you look at all this as if you were simply observing?
“It is interesting, I am very upset, my chest is tight and my body is tense...”.
• Can you feel how you feel?
Now take three conscious breaths and, when you feel up to it, start stretching out your
arms and legs and then slowly open your eyes. Look around and reconnect with your
body and the environment.
KNOWING HOW TO BE, KNOWING HOW TO LIVE, RELATE
stage 2: difficult communications - 45 min
Now invite the participants to fill out individually, in 5 minutes, the “Difficult Commu-
nication Worksheet” in the light of the experience they have just had. (Worksheet No.
35)
Once participants have completed the form, ask them to form groups of up to five
people each and to reflect on: points in common and differences, how they usually
behave, how they talk and how they listen.
Give them 15 minutes.
At the end of the group work, invite the participants back to the plenary and ask for a
report from each group. Each group will have a maximum of 3 minutes.
As the groups report on what was discussed and what was noticed, write down on a
poster the main elements related to the topic of relationships, communication, emo-
tions.
Once the reports are over, invite the participants to debrief.
The following questions can be used for debriefing:
• How was the experience?
• What did you discover?
• Was there a difference between the first and second phase of the activity?
• What changed?
• What does this activity tells us about ourselves and our reactions?
At the end of the debriefing, observe with the participants the causes and consequen-
ces of automatic reactions.
End the activity by summarising what emerged and emphasising that Right when the
relationship is not unfolding according to our desires or expectations, we can pause
to get in touch with our resources and intentions in that given moment, in order to be
able to respond - rather than react - in a way that is appropriate to the circumstances
moment by moment. If we are able to stop to recognise the pleasant or unpleasant
sensations that the present experience arouses in us, we have the power to reduce the
automation of our reaction, which will then have less intensity and less of a grip on us’.
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Invite participants to notice how much of difficult communication is caused not by
the other person’s behaviour, but by our own automatic attitude to always react in the
same way.
phase 3: physical feelings - 20 minutes
The conclusion of the session, as always, includes a relaxation activity: ‘Practice with
difficult emotions’, which should be accompanied by a debriefing moment lasting about
20 minutes.
For the realisation of this phase, follow the link
https://interessere.info/io-lo-chiedo-amnesty-international/
by typing in the password: amnesty2020.
A video is suggested, but they can be searched for on youtube under this heading:
PRACTICE WITH DIFFICULT EMOTIONS
At the end of the activities, give the diary to the participants, which will be useful to
develop further reflections on the topic at home.
Suggestions:
During the activity, try to create a welcoming atmosphere so that participants feel free
to express themselves and participate.
It would be useful to carry out the activity in groups, so that participants can be suppor-
ted better during group work.
BEING ABLE TO VERIFY, EXPERIMENT AND SYNTHESISE
Participants may wish to explore the issues on their own:
• continue the reflection on the topic of automatic reaction at home;
• using the diary;
• carefully observe relationships in families and groups of friends, trying to catch automatic
reactions.
Participants may wish to explore the issues in their own community or school contexts:
• learn more about relaxation techniques and train, perhaps with a mindfulness expert;
• continue to participate in emotion-related activities by requesting a further in-depth study
of these contexts;
• set up a counselling service in their school, with the aid of the school psychologist, where
they can support other youngsters in creating healthy relationships, by using what they
have learnt.
THE DIARY
• Can you identify a situation in your life in which it would have been helpful to respond rath-
er than react?
• How might the presence of awareness modify these reactions?
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Educating to the
07. awareness of the
digital continent
FOR THE EDUCATOR
Today, more than ever, the use of the Internet has an affective, emotional and relational
dimension [...].
It becomes essential to identify the pillars on which we can rebuild a possible path that
enables us to provide intelligent and creative responses, which the online paradises of the
future won’t be able to fulfil. It is necessary to focus on a few essential processes:
• rebuild narrative paths of identity;
• educate to critical interpretation;
• rediscover the taste for beauty;
• accept the other in the context of healthy and healing interpersonal relationships,
rediscovering the therapeutic potential of human relationships
• put an end to all ambiguity.
(ibid., p. 121-122).
objectives
Watching children and young people with mobile phones in their hand go from one video to
another on TikTok can be a little alienating: if left to their own devices, they could spend several
hours with it. Each video on the extremely popular social network lasts a few seconds and, in
the eyes of an adult, the content often appears embarrassingly trivial: short dances, songs with
lip sync, parody reproductions of film sequences or jokes, imitations and so on. And yet the ef-
fect seems to be hypnotic: boys and girls jump from one video to another, they share one, post
another one again, thus contributing to a constant global flow. And the same is true for other
popular social networks: for example, Instagram.
But while evidence is piling up of the risks associated with an uncritical use of social network
platforms, the path often chosen by adults to combat them, namely their demonisation, proves
to be the least effective. What can educators do, then, to accompany young people towards a
more conscious use of Web and social network resources? Is it possible to consider these me-
dia as a valid educational resource?
The main objectives of educators are:
• To promote a healthy management of time online, balancing the use of social media with
other everyday activities;
• To raise awareness of the potential consequences of one’s online actions, understanding
the legal implications, such as copyright and slander;
• To develop discernment skills to identify false or manipulative content, promoting critical
thinking and evaluation of content before sharing it;
• To encourage respect and empathy towards other users, fostering respectful and con-
structive online communication to prevent cyberbullying and trolling;
• To provide tools to protect privacy, personal data and online security.
• The overall objective is to encourage a responsible and conscious behaviour regarding the
use of the Internet and social media platforms, so as to benefit from them without compro-
mising the security, privacy and well-being of individuals and society as a whole.
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Biblical figure: Sarah
Worksheet No. 36
Strengths and results:
• She was very loyal to her son
• She became the mother of a nation and the ancestor of Jesus.
• She was a woman of faith, the first to be mentioned in the Hall of Faith in Hebrews 11.
Weaknesses and errors:
• She had difficulty believing in God’s promise.
• She tried to solve problems on her own, without consulting God.
• She tried to cover her own faults by blaming others.
Lessons from her life:
• God responds to faith even in the midst of failure.
• God is not limited to what always happens. He can go beyond limits and make incredible
things happen.
General facts:
• Place: She married Abram in Ur of the Chaldeans, then moved with him to Canaan.
• Occupation: wife, mother, housewife.
• Relatives:
• Father: Terah.
• Husband: Abraham.
• Half-brothers: Nahor and Haran.
• Nephew: Lot.
• Son: Isaac.
Key verse:
Hebrews 11:11
“By faith Sarah also, being barren, received power to conceive; and she gave birth beyond
her years, because she believed that He who had made the promise was faithful”
The story of Sarah is told in Genesis 11:25. It is also mentioned in Isaiah 51:2; Romans
4:19, 9:9: Hebrews 11:11; 1Peter 3:6.
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Path No. 07.1
Equipment: projector, computer, smartphone, photocopy of worksheets, blank
sheets and pens.
Duration of the meeting: 2h 30 min
Welcome: 10 min
Discussion: 30 min
OBSERVE, RECOGNISE, IDENTIFY
To get to the heart of the matter: we begin with the acquisition of experience.
Using the brainstorming method - not a chaotic and disorganised one, but one directed by
the educator through the right questions - we can try to start a discussion on the experien-
ces related to the youngsters’ use of social platforms and the Web.
For example, we can start monitoring for about a week, with the aid of the special fun-
ctions built into mobile phones and PCs, trying to answer a number of basic questions:
• How many hours a day do you spend on the various apps?
• On which days and times do you tend to connect the most?
• What motivates you to use a particular app?
• Do you find it difficult to log out of your favourite apps?
• How do you feel when you cannot connect?
• Have you ever had negative experiences related to the use of the Web and apps?
• What do you think are the risks of misusing these tools?
• Do you comply with the operating rules and the limitations established for the use of
the various platforms?
KNOWING HOW TO CONNECT, FEEL, BUILD
First step:
GETTING TO KNOW THE NEW MEDIA
Analysing social networks and their language is a great way to help children approach
new media in a critical way.
NEW MEDIA, NEW MESSAGES? THE MEDIUM IS THE MESSAGE
Start with a reflection:
The sociologist Marshall McLuhan coined the expression ‘the medium is the message’
precisely to clarify how the medium used in communication is not neutral, but contribu-
tes, with its particular narrative, to influencing the content of the message itself.
This is an important concept to convey to our young people because it helps to increase
their critical sense and their ability to understand the mechanisms through which the
media can manipulate and influence the public they are addressing. In this worksheet,
the various languages used by social media are used to make young people reflect on
the communicative consequences of each of the forms used.
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LABORATORY
Specific topic: the language of social media and its communicative consequences.
General theme: a metalinguistic reflection on the relationship between medium and
message.
Procedure: Four of the most popular social media, i.e. Facebook, YouTube, TikTok and
Instagram, are examined, and their specific communicative characteristics are exami-
ned with the whole class (by gathering the participants’ experiences and impressions).
In fact, the four platforms use quite different communication styles: Facebook is based
on alternating texts (which can also be of a certain length and allow for a certain depth)
and photos/videos; YouTube focuses essentially on videos, including live and pre-recor-
ded videos of a certain length; TikTok uses very short videos; Instagram basically uses
photos but also short videos.
An attempt will be made to draw conclusions about the limits and potential of each form,
especially with regard to news and topics of a certain weight.
• To what extent is it possible to talk about topics such as science, politics, current affairs
on the various social media?
• How would the same news or topic change when switching from Instagram to You-
Tube?
General impressions will then be collected.
The young people will then be divided into four groups, each one will be responsible
for creating content according to the style of each of the social media considered
and relating to the same topic.
Of course, this content will not be uploaded on any platform, but will only be considered
during the activity and it will be explained to the kids that it is completely forbidden to
spread it.
To sum up: in the final reflection, everyone will be invited to share their own conside-
rations on how the medium used has contributed to influencing the information con-
veyed by the content, even if within the same topic. The greater or lesser synthesis, the
possibility or impossibility of deepening and realizing the complexity, the use of images
of greater or lesser impact are, therefore, very important factors that can contribute to
modifying the very nature of communication and its effectiveness. Reflections of this
kind can help young people to adopt a more critical attitude towards the messages that
they receive via social media.
KNOWING HOW TO BE, KNOWING HOW TO LIVE, RELATE
Step 2:
UNDERSTANDING FAKE NEWS
The formation of critical thinking and the promotion of a rational approach to everyday
reality is an important content to convey.
The first activity proposed is a kind of ‘anti-fuzzy workshop’, while the second one explo-
res the concept of causality with reference to computational thinking.
The multi-disciplinary nature of the paths and the active use of multiple languages con-
tribute to the reinforcement of the skills developed, according to the principle of redun-
dancy, which argues that the use of several communicative codes is a valuable aid for
the consolidation of notions and skills. Both paths can be approached in both primary
and secondary schools.
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IDENTIKIT OF A HOAX:
HOW TO UNMASK IT?
WORKSHEET No. 37
1. Hunting for hoaxes
Specific topic: Recognising fake news and hoaxes.
General theme: Strengthening the ability to verify facts and sources.
Procedure:
• The children are divided into two or more groups, which are then reversed in role manage-
ment.
• One group will focus on identifying five or six true and fake news, avoiding selecting the
best known ones and paying attention to the fact that they cannot be immediately identi-
fied as true or false.
• The news will then be sent for evaluation to the second group, which will try to establish
whether it is a fact or a hoax, by applying the guidelines outlined above (‘Identikit of a
hoax’).
• Finally, the group will write down the reasons that led them to identify a piece of news as
true or false, indicating the procedure followed for each factual assessment.
In the case of errors, there follows a further phase of reflection on the reasons that may have
led to error.
Support tools: Cacciatori di bufale; Fulvia Degl’Innocenti and Chiara Segré (Sonda).
2. Random links
Specific topic: Improving awareness of causal connections and computational thinking.
General theme: Avoiding logical fallacies.
Procedure:
• A course is proposed to the class on the concept of real and apparent (or spurious) cau-
sality. Spurious causal correlations are the basis of many anti-scientific and superstitious
concepts, as well as many logical errors we make.
• First of all, the concept of the cause-effect correlation will be introduced to the class by
citing a series of examples taken from everyday life (a glass that falls to the ground and
breaks, a lit match placed in contact with a sheet of paper that causes it to burn, etc.).
• By reflecting on a temporal scan, an attempt will be made to lead the class to deduce
that, as is logical, the consequence temporally follows the cause of the event.
• At this point, the concept of logical fallacy will be introduced, starting with the illusory cor-
relation post hoc ergo propter hoc: although cause and consequence are always in that
order, it is not sufficient for one event to be related to another and for one to come after
the other for a causal correlation to occur.
• At this point, propose some amusing graphs taken from the website (or book) Spurious
Correlations, which identifies events that are perfectly correlated but not correlated with
each other (to introduce the concept of spurious correlation, you can present an amusing
example, such as the simultaneous decrease in the stork population and the decrease in
the birth rate in the same area: would this mean that storks bring babies?) and get the
class to think about the fact that this is the mechanism behind many pseudoscientific
beliefs and superstitions.
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It will also be possible to present the example of the experiments carried out by Skinner who,
through conditioning, caused pigeons to develop superstitious behaviour through which they
were convinced they were receiving food because they had established an illusory cause-ef-
fect relationship based on their past experiences.
Support tools: Spurious correlation site
To sum up: Thinking about causality can be studied further by introducing concepts such as
algorithm, which is the basis of computational thinking and coding and is essentially based on
the cause-effect relationship.
Simple applications and free websites (Code.org, Scratch, Google Cs First...) can be used, with
the aid of the educator in the role of digital animator, to carry out, for example, an activity ba-
sed on the calculation of probabilities, such as the simulation of the lotto draw (which can also
be carried out without the use of IT tools). The aim of the reflection will be to draw attention
to the so-called gambler’s fallacy, which leads one to think that previous draws can influence
subsequent ones, generating, for example, the idea that late numbers are more likely to come
up than others.
IDENTIFYING ONLINE SCAMS
Difference between online fraud and phishing
WORKSHEET No. 38
Objective: To improve the ability to recognise online scams and phishing schemes.
Description: Read the following scenarios carefully and identify whether it is a scam or a
phishing attempt:
Scenario 1: Winning e-mail
You have received an e-mail informing you that you have won a cash prize or an expensive
gift, but you have to provide your personal data, including your credit card number, in order
to redeem the prize.
Scenario 2: Urgent message
You have received an urgent message from an alleged representative of a bank or online
service, asking you to click on a link and immediately provide your access credentials or
financial data.
Scenario 3: A too advantageous offer
You have seen an online advertisement promising a product or service at an incredibly low
price or with excessive discounts.
Scenario 4: Request for financial aid
Someone you don’t know sends you a message on a social network or messaging platform,
asking you to send them money to deal with an emergency situation.
Conclusion: After examining the scenarios, identify which ones are likely to be scams or phi-
shing attempts. Explain why you made these choices and what clues helped you recognise
them as potential threats. This exercise will help you develop a greater awareness of online
scams and protect yourself from the potential risks and dangers of the Web.
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BEING ABLE TO VERIFY, EXPERIMENT AND SYNTHESISE
Follow these steps when reading news on the Internet and (for one week) mark down how
many of them are true or false:
• Analyse the content
• Check and compare different sources
• Check the date (if recent or obsolete)
• Beware of writing style: be wary of news with sensational headlines or incorrect grammar
• Check photos and videos: are they authentic or manipulated?
• Avoid impulsive sharing
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Path No. 07.2
Equipment:
projector, computer, song printouts, blank sheets and pens.
Duration of the meeting: 3h
Welcome: 10 min
Discussion: 40 min
OBSERVE, RECOGNISE, IDENTIFY
To get back on topic: EDUCATING TO SPEECH IN THE DIGITAL AGE:
NEW AND COMPLEX CHALLENGE
WORKSHEET No. 39
Exercise: Promoting awareness and responsible action online through an interactive
activity.
This exercise enables participants to better understand the extent of the problem of
hate speech and cyberbullying and to develop concrete strategies to deal with it. It is a
practical way to promote awareness and responsible online action.
Research and discussion: Ask participants to search online for an example of hate spe-
ech or cyberbullying on a social network or news website. Each participant should find
a different example and write down the source.
Content analysis: Each participant must analyse the example found, answering que-
stions such as:
• What are the tones used in the message?
• Who is the target of the attack?
• What are the possible consequences of this message?
Group discussion: Come together as a group to share the examples found and discuss
the answers to the questions above. Talk about the emotions and reactions aroused by
reading this content.
User role: Now ask each participant to reflect on what they would have done if they had
encountered that content online:
• Would they have reported the content to the platforms?
• Would they have responded constructively or ignored the message?
• Would they have tried to make others aware of the problem?
Action plans: Each participant must develop an action plan on how to deal with hate
speech and cyberbullying in the future.
• What would they do to combat these problems online?
Sharing plans: Finally, participants share their action plans with the group and discuss
how each one can contribute to a safer and more respectful online environment.
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Books For Further Reading
YOUNG PEOPLE IN THE DIGITAL SPACE
Keys for educational support; Jota Llorente (CCS 2020)
#Hate. Manuale di resistenza alla violenza delle parole; F. Faloppa (Utet, 2020)
Reflections after the social (and other) hatred exploded with the release of volunteer Silvia Ro-
mano.
The power of words. Why it is important to use them better; V. Gheno (Einaudi, 2019)
Understanding that a person’s true freedom passes through the conquest of words.
Racisms 2.0. Socio-educational analysis of online hatred; S. Pasta (Morcelliana- Scholé, 2018)
Responsibility is the key word to building the citizens of tomorrow.
The online manifesto: Human Being in a Hyperconnected Era; L. Floridi (Springer Nature, 2015)
What impact do new technologies have on humans? Free ebook version.
Dehumanisation. How violence is legitimised; C. Volpato (Laterza, 2011)
Dehumanising serves to think of the Other as an incomplete and dangerous being.
KNOWING HOW TO CONNECT, FEEL, BUILD
Starting from the musical project by trapper Chadia Rodriguez, we analyse in class the cha-
racteristics and effects of hate speech.
Hate speech: let’s recognise it
Chadia’s war against online hatred (Lab)
“Bella così” by rapper Chadia Rodriguez is a single against violence, especially verbal violen-
ce. The lyrics of the song came after a traumatic experience for the artist, who was bombar-
ded for months with hate speech, with disparaging messages about her ethnicity, physicality,
freedom of expression, sex and profession. Some examples: ‘Gypsy’, ‘Whore’, ‘But eat’, ‘What
a dirty whore’, ‘As long as Chadia exists, femicide cannot be illegal’.
CHADIA’S WAR AGAINST HATE ON THE WEB
WORKSHEET No. 40
Specific topic: the language of hatred and its consequences in real life.
General theme: Metalinguistic reflection on the relationship between speech, empathy
and forms of hatred that come to life on the Web.
Procedure: The educator or a young person who volunteers reads the lyrics of the song
to the class and, after briefly presenting the event that involved the artist, he begins to
comment on it, dwelling on the words of hatred that are most striking in the lyrics.
The educator shows the project documents related to the song posted on the artist’s
official profile (Instagram and YouTube) and initiates a classroom reflection on the phe-
nomenon of hatred, focusing in particular on the difficulty of recognising and especially
defining hate speech today.
Together we go through all the points of the Manifesto of Non-Hostile Communication,
asking for a personal comment on each point.
We divide into groups (maximum three) and the educator assigns the following task to
each group: highlight the most offensive words in the text.
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Once selected and projected, the educator initiates a discussion for each word:
• How many times has this word been said to you? By whom? How did it make you feel?
How many times have you used it to consciously offend someone? How many times
have you shared it on your social networks under a post as a comment to reinforce
the position of some user or friend? Have you ever wondered why you did it?
In an interview with the Treccani.it website, Chadia said she had received some very
heavy insults on social networks: ‘They wrote to me: “You have views because you show
your ass” or “Get into porn”. Why? Because I’m comfortable with my body and I don’t
want to hide it? I try to go further, as I wanted to do with Bella in this way. What if a girl
who was more fragile than me read those messages?”. The educator initiates a class
discussion on some aspects of hate speech that have emerged in the trapping environ-
ment and asks the kids the following questions: Do you find that the trappers’ texts use
very blunt denigrating name-calling? Against whom and why? Do rap and trap songs
have to contain terms or expressions that incite hatred to be considered as such?
The educator explains the media case related to the song Si chiama Gioia by Junior Cally
(Worksheet no. 41), a rapper competing at the 70th Sanremo Festival, by reading the
lyrics of the song to the class, then asks an open question: Why did the lyrics cause such
a stir in the public? Next, the educator will read some articles from national newspapers
that dealt with the case: is there hate language in rap and trap? What can be said and
what cannot? And above all, why?
At this point, individually, each youngster will reflect for up to 15 minutes on a rap or trap
song that best highlights this aspect, selecting within the lyrics the five most obvious
expressions that may be part of hate speech.
In turn, you ask yourselves:
• why did you choose these terms or expressions? Do they refer to a specific person or
a group of people? What did the author of the song mean to say? In your daily life, do
you use these terms or expressions? How do people react?
KNOWING HOW TO BE, KNOWING HOW TO LIVE, RELATE
GAETANO: STORIES OF ORDINARY CYBERBULLYING
TO LEARN MORE ABOUT CYBERBULLYING
WORKSHEET No. 42
Starting from watching the video:
• What emotions did you feel watching/listening to this story?
• How do you think the main characters felt?
• Why, in your opinion, do many not get involved when faced with these situations?
• Is it easy to understand how the victims of these situations feel?
• What kind of signals tell us when a joke has gone too far?
• What strategy did Gaetano put into practice?
• If you were Gaetano what would you do?
• If you were a spectator, what would you do?
The video ends with a question: what does it mean to have courage in Gaetano’s situation?
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BEING ABLE TO VERIFY, EXPERIMENT AND SYNTHESISE
Activity: role-play (60 minutes)
Objectives: to promote awareness of the problem, to develop empathy and to understand the
victim’s emotions, to reflect on the observers’ responsibilities.
Execution: the educator invites the participants to write a short text in which they tell about
an incident of bullying they have experienced or witnessed. The texts are read out to their
companions and one is chosen to be interpreted through role-playing.
The ‘actors’ for the roles of bully, victim and observer are chosen among the youngsters; the
story is played out by strictly observing the script.
The actors are asked how they felt while ‘pretending’ to be the victim or the observers:
• how did I feel?
• How would I feel if it really happened to me?
Participants can then split into groups of 4-5 people and try to outline a possible solution for
the victim to find help. In turn, each group proposes the solution they identified, which is then
presented by the ‘actors’ to see what could happen in the various cases; the group reflects on
the effectiveness or otherwise of the proposed solutions.
The discussion can be guided by the following questions:
• What does it feel like to be bullied?
• What can be the consequences for a bullied child or young person?
• What is the most effective solution? Why?
• What should a child or young person do if they are bullied?
Follow-up: reflecting on the role of observers:
• How do you feel when you see a peer that is being bullied?
• How do you behave? Why?
• Can your behaviour improve or worsen the victim’s situation?
• What can be done to help the victim?
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Accompanying unique-
08. ness by not thinking of it
as a reason for exclusion
FOR THE EDUCATOR
“The world of sex arouses fears, curiosity, guilt, unspoken desires, dissatisfactions
and even aggressiveness. These aspects are forged by education, culture,
experiences, even religion. It is not easy to reach a perfect balance and, even if it
is achieved, its coherence is not guaranteed forever, as subsequent regressions
are always possible. The construction of human sexuality begins very early
and goes through several stages. At times, old wounds remain unhealed and
leave some traces of their presence, since they are part of the vulnerability
of human beings, in which external factors and personal shortcomings are
intertwined. In short, no one can become a model of full sexual-affective maturity.
It is not the person without faults who is mature and balanced, but the one who
is capable of accepting his own limits and shortcomings with humour, kindness
and affection. The destination is not an ideal and static point of arrival, rather the
destination is the journey.” (ibid., p. 124-125).
objectives
The uniqueness of each individual can be considered a value rather than a reason for exclusion
through education and the promotion of open-mindedness. This can be achieved through:
• Awareness-raising: Educating that diversity enriches communities rather than dividing
them, helping to overcome prejudices and stereotypes.
• Inclusion: Creating environments where everyone feels accepted, regardless of differenc-
es, promoting a sense of belonging.
• Education to respect: Teaching the value of mutual respect and active listening, stimulating
the understanding of others’ experiences.
• Empathy: Promoting the ability to put oneself in the shoes of others, helping to understand
the challenges and achievements of unique people.
• Collaboration: Showing how different perspectives can lead to more innovative solutions
and the creation of a more harmonious environment.
• Enhance skills: Highlighting how each individual possesses unique skills and talents that
contribute significantly to society.
• Combat bullying: Promoting an environment where there is no room for bullying, encourag-
ing social responsibility for the well-being of all.
• Focus on positive identity: Helping people develop a positive self-image that is not nega-
tively affected by differences.
• Ongoing education: Maintaining dialogue on diversity to overcome ignorance and encour-
age an ongoing commitment to acceptance.
• Positive role models: Highlighting successful people from different backgrounds to demon-
strate that uniqueness can lead to outstanding results.
Ultimately, education to considering the uniqueness of people as a strength can create a more
inclusive, respectful and harmonious society where differences are celebrated rather than
feare.
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Biblical figure: Mark
Worksheet No. 43
Strengths and achievements:
• He wrote the Gospel of Mark.
• He and his mother allowed their house to be used as one of the main meeting places for
Christians in Jerusalem.
• He persevered despite his errors of youth.
• He helped and accompanied three of the greatest missionaries on their journeys.
Shortcomings and errors:
• Perhaps it was the anonymous young man described in the Gospel of Mark who fled in
terror when Jesus was arrested.
• He abandoned Paul and Barnabas for unknown reasons during their first missionary jour-
ney.
Lessons from his life:
• Personal maturity is almost always a combination of time and mistakes.
• Mistakes are usually not as important as what we learn from them.
• An effective life is measured not primarily by what you achieve, but by what you overcome
to achieve it.
• Encouragement can change a person’s life.
General information:
• Location: Jerusalem
• Profession: Missionaries in preparation, gospel writer, fellow traveller.
• Relatives:
• Mother: Mary.
• Uncle: Barnabas
• Peers: Paul, Peter, Timothy, Luke, Cathedra
Key verse:
Timothy 4:11
2 Luke is the only one with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, for he is helpful to me in the
ministry
Mark’s story is told in Acts 12:23-13:13 and 15:36-39. He is also mentioned in Colossians
4:10; 2 Timothy 4:11; Philemon 24; 1 Peter 5:13.
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Path No. 08.1
Equipment: projector, computer, song lyrics, flipchart, blank sheets, pens,
markers, quiz printout.
Duration of the meeting: 4h 30 min
Welcome: 10 min
Discussion:
30 min
OBSERVE, RECOGNISE, IDENTIFY
To get back on topic: I BAMBINI FANNO OH - Povia
WORKSHEET No. 44
The video of Povia’s song ‘I bambini fanno oh’ is shown.
Objective: to help reflect on the emotion of amazement in order to learn to enjoy nature
as ‘given’.
Material: Gospel, computer, video projector, text of the song “I bambini fanno oh” by Po-
via, photocopies of Ps. 8.
The youngsters are invited to read the text of the song (previously handed out). In small
groups or in pairs, they discuss among each other some questions that will be distributed,
reporting their reflections in the assembly.
• Is there still something... or someone who can surprise you? How?
• Nature, a gift, a person: what does it make you think? Or is there something else?
• Would you like to have the same capacity for wonder as children?
Their reflections are brought to the assembly.
Follow-up on the theme:
A few years ago, Povia brought to the Sanremo Festival a song that, as we heard, says: ‘...
when the children say oh, how wonderful...’.
There are many Gospel passages that can encourage a further study of amazement
(project or print them out):
• Mt 15:21-28 (the Canaanite woman): Great is the Lord’s amazement at recognising the
faith of this Canaanite woman (a pagan, not a daughter of the house of Israel), so much
so that he grants her the desired healing;
• Mt 8:23-27 (The storm subsided): The anguish and fear of the apostles was transformed
into enormous awe at the power of the One who commanded the winds and the seas;
• Lk 7:1-10 (the centurion’s servant): It is once again the faith of a pagan, a centurion,
that leaves Jesus in awe and arouses in him the power of the miracle;
• Mk 10:14 (let the children): we could read this verse in another way: the kingdom
of God is for those who are amazed. It is an invitation that should give us pause for
thought: if we do not stop to contemplate every day the wonders that God has done
for us, with the eyes of children, and if our heart is not capable of wonder, our mouth
does not widen into an ‘oh’, and if our eyes do not light up with the emotion that we
feel when we see something extraordinary, then our faith will still not be perfect. When
Jesus says that the Kingdom of God is for those who are like him, perhaps he means
that amazement can give us a faith that saves.
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• Psalm 8:2 (out of the mouths of babes and sucklings you have drawn strength): Psalm 8,
which sings of the greatness of God, reaches the highest expression of astonishment in
saying that the best reflection of the divine majesty is the greatness of man: This being so
small, lost in the immensity of the universe, was made by God king of creation.
But what is awe? It is not just seeing, but looking and being amazed, it is giving voice to
emotions. It stems from the ability to grasp the beauty in the cosmos, in people and to be
fascinated by it, without wanting to grasp or hold it. It grasps something more that goes
beyond our expectations. It is an emotion that transfigures reality, but not like the illusion
that forces what exists to conform to what we want to see; awe sees beauty in reality.
It is not an overwhelming emotion, but it can generate joy.
Educating to wonder means giving value to what is there, recognising that it is not all taken
for granted and all the same; it means igniting a personal look at the world and the people
around us. It means inviting them to look at their own lives with awe and wonder at every-
day life.
Astonishment is the attitude that fosters the development of the religious sense.
The human being who stands before God cannot help but be astonished:
• For His greatness;
• For his love of man,
• For your visible works,
• Because his presence gives inner peace and security, comfort in suffering, support in
need.
To return to our life:
Divide yourselves into groups. Each group will be the editorial staff of a hypothetical new-
spaper, in which apparently trivial things are reported, looking at them with new eyes. Each
editorial team will have to tell a normal, trivial fact, trying to enhance it and to imagine what
is so surprising about it.
The facts could be:
• The beauty of creation
• The leaves of the trees begin to fall
• A sunset
• A stormy sea
To do at home:
Discover the beauty of creation through a closer look at the surrounding landscape, your
own garden, tree-lined streets, ...
KNOWING HOW TO CONNECT, FEEL, BUILD
Exercise No. 1
GENDER IDENTITY
GIOVANNI (Gender Stereotypes)
WORKSHEET No. 45
Screening of the short film
Objectives:
• stimulating reflection on gender identity
• raising awareness on how stereotypes and prejudices influence our thoughts and be-
haviour
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Material:
• Flipchart
• A4 Sheets
• Scorers
• Pens
• Annex 2: Quiz sheet (one copy for each participant) (Worksheet no. 46)
Preparation: Make sure you have a room where you can arrange the chairs in a circle.
Make sure you have a quiz sheet and a pen for each participant.
Introduction - 5 min
Invite the participants to sit comfortably in a circle and inform them that you will give them a
quiz, which each person must answer individually in silence. They will only have five minutes.
Realisation - 70 min
Once you have handed out the cards and pens to each participant, start the countdown.
After 5 minutes, ask participants to form pairs and compare their answers, highlighting simila-
rities and differences.
After 10 minutes, ask participants to form groups of six and compare notes again, pointing out
similarities and differences.
In the end, after 15 minutes, ask the groups to provide you with the results of their comparison,
which you could divide into similar and different answers.
Write down the results on a poster.
Once the quiz results have been collected, the debriefing activities begin (25 minutes).
Answer the following questions:
• Was it difficult/easy to give individual answers?
• What considerations did you make to attribute a statement to F, M, N?
• Are there common distinctive features? Which ones?
• What did you notice when you compared your answers with those of the other participants?
• In your opinion, do typically male or female or neutral (belonging to both) behaviours exist?
What do they depend on?
• In your opinion, would your grandparents and parents have answered the questions in the
same way? Why yes, why not?
• In your opinion, what is the influence of social conventions, stereotypes and prejudices in
assigning roles and behaviour to men and women?
• What can be the consequences of assigning predefined roles and behaviour to men and
women in terms of realising the human rights of everyone?
Esercizio n. 2
GENDER STEREOTYPES
Objectives:
• Raising participants’ awareness of gender stereotypes and their role
in shaping and influencing choices in their lives
Materials and resources
• Chairs
• Flipchart
• Markers
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Preparation:
Make sure you have a room where the chairs can be moved around.
Create a circle with chairs, where you invite participants to sit down.
Introduction - 15 min
Invite the participants to take a seat and, after welcoming them, present the objectives of
the session.
Start by asking them to think of a male and female comic book character they love the most.
Collect the names of the characters on a blackboard or flipchart, dividing the sheet into two
parts: one where they will write down the names of the female characters and one on which
they will write down the names of the male characters.
Then ask the participants to list the characteristics of the male and female characters which
you will write down a new poster, always dividing the sheet into two parts, one for women
and one for men.
Realisation - 60 min
At the end of the brainstorming session, divide the participants into working groups (5 pe-
ople per group) and ask them to think about the following questions:
• What do you think of the characteristics of the male and female characters listed in the
brainstorming?
• What does it take to be a ‘good woman’ and a ‘good man’?
• What image do your family, your friends, your school have of a ‘good woman’ and a ‘good
man’?
• What should one feel as a ‘woman’ and what as a ‘man’?
KNOWING HOW TO BE, KNOWING HOW TO LIVE, RELATE
In relation to exercise No. 2
After 20 minutes, ask the groups to return to the plenary and present a summary of their
reflections.
After the presentation of the groups’ reflections on the topic, begin the debriefing activity
(20 minutes).
You can use the following questions to conduct the debriefing:
• How do you feel?
• What did the activity bring to us?
• How rooted are gender stereotypes in our culture?
• What happens when a person engages in behaviour different from that expected by society?
• How much do stereotypes influence our behaviour also in the choices we make in our re-
lationships?
• What can I do to live authentically and listen to my desires and who I am?
• What impact do gender stereotypes have on everyone’s enjoyment of human rights?
Suggestions for facilitators
When conducting this activity, try to create a serene and welcoming environment in which
participants feel comfortable expressing themselves.
At the end of the activity, try to stimulate the connection between the assignment of social
roles to men and women and the enjoyment of human rights by each.
Try to bring examples from real cases of the context in which you live (e.g. cases of different
salaries for men and women performing the same tasks and roles in a company).
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Take inspiration from the participants’ reactions and interests for a possible further activity
on human rights.
UNMASKING GENDER STEREOTYPES
Duration: 2 h
The course that follows is based on role-playing and improvisation exercises, useful for brin-
ging out points of view and contradictions, and consists of theatrical work on stories: autobio-
graphical stories, stories read in newspapers, stories observed in everyday life. This method
has several possibilities for development, through variations of the basic exercises described
below, and gives positive results because it makes the topic immediately tangible.
Starting circle
Standing in a circle, people look each other in the eyes, smiling. When the leader feels that
the participants have achieved a positive attitude, he asks them to assume an open, relaxed
posture. They then close their eyes and listen for a few seconds to their own natural breathing
and that of the group. At the leader’s signal, they open their eyes and they observe each other
again. This new look implies that you are ready to begin.
Stories on stage
Each participant is invited to very briefly (as if were a very short storyline) tell a personal story
or a story about other people, on the topic of gender stereotypes.
The presenter then asks the participants to choose the story that struck them the most and
about which they would like to have more details. Once identified, they are asked to tell the
story in a relaxed and detailed way.
Next, the narrator of the story assigns the roles of the characters by choosing them from
among his companions.
The class reorganises itself by creating a division between stage space and audience space.
In the meantime, the actors are given time to make some simple arrangements about the
scene to be acted, which must be as faithful as possible to the narrated scene.
At the end of the performance, the presenter invites the actors and spectators to provide an
emotional recollection of their experience and to link the story acted out to the theme of gen-
der stereotypes.
The exercise can be repeated with more than one story and by rotating the roles of actors and
spectators.
Concluding circle
The presenter asks each participant to make a spontaneous gesture expressing a desire to
“unmask gender stereotypes”. It can be accompanied by a sound and must be a free and
instinctive physical manifestation.
BEING ABLE TO VERIFY, EXPERIMENT AND SYNTHESISE
Participants may wish to explore the issues on their own:
• submitting the quiz to friends, parents and relatives, to compare their answers and thoughts
and to see if there are any differences related to gender and age, with respect to what they
answered;
• participating in other educational activities on gender identity and stereotypes;
• reading specific articles or texts;
• participating in seminars or online courses.partecipare a seminari o corsi online.
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Below is a list of films suitable for discussion:
Tomboy is a 2011 drama film directed by Céline Sciamma, starring Zoé Héran and Malonn Lév-
ana. 2011. Running time 82 minutes.
A teenage story totally different from genre clichés was filmed in 2011 by Céline Sciamma.
In this case, the protagonist is a 10-year-old girl who dresses as a boy to be accepted by her
classmates. A delicate story about sexual identity and friendship, for a small, low-budget
film that nevertheless shakes consciences like an earthquake. By following your inner truth,
you never go wrong.
Dreaming of Beckham is a 2002 comedy film directed by Gurinder Chadha, starring Parminder
Nagra and Keira Knightley. 2002. Running time 112 minutes.
We may not have realised it at the time, but there was already all the girl power every little
girl growing up in the 2000s needed: Jess is a girl who wants to play a man’s sport. And
she’s Indian, in England...
Little Miss Sunshine is a comedy-drama film directed by Jonathan Dayton, Valerie Faris, star-
ring Greg Kinnear and Toni Collette. 2006. Running time 101 minutes.
Having the courage to be yourself: that is the moral of the film. The courage to try, to seize
opportunities, to truly believe without fear. The Hoover family sets off on a journey through
California: The father Richard, an unsuccessful life coach, the mother Sheryl who tries to
keep home and family together, and the brother, an educated homosexual who is an expert
on Proust, the son Dwayne, determined not to utter a single word until he manages to get
into the air force and idolised by Nietsche, the grandfather, an unscrupulous pothead and
Latin lover, embark on a tragicomic journey in a shabby Volkswagen van to take little Olive,
an overweight and short-sighted girl, to the final of a beauty contest.
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Path No. 08.2
Equipment: projector, computer, blank sheets of paper, pens, printout
of nursery rhymes.
Duration of the meeting: 2h 30 min
Welcome:
10 min
Discussion:
30 min
OBSERVE, RECOGNISE, IDENTIFY
Discussion of the theme: SOCIAL INCLUSION
WORKSHEET No. 47
Screening of the short film Cuerdas
In the social sphere, inclusion means belonging to something, be it a group of people or
an institution, and feeling welcomed. It is therefore easy to understand where the need
for social inclusion comes from: there may be differences between individuals due to
which a person or group is ‘excluded’ from society.
There are various reasons that can lead to social exclusion:
• competition;
• sex;
• sexual orientation;
• culture;
• religion;
• disability.
Social inclusion aims at eliminating all forms of discrimination within a society, but
always respecting diversity. In fact, discrimination generates poverty, while inclusion
generates opportunities and wealth (not only economic, but also and above all human).
KNOWING HOW TO CONNECT, FEEL, BUILD
Let us reflect by answering the following questions:
1. What is inclusion for you?
2. Have you ever experienced it directly?
3. Do you think that society is not at all, not very or very inclusive? In which aspects in parti-
cular?
4. Do you feel fear or suspicion when before people who are ‘different’ (different skin colour,
different language, disability, different sexual orientation from yours, etc.)?
5. Are you little, not at all or very inclusive?
6. Are there aspects of you, your character, your culture that help or hinder you?
7. How do you see the possible developments of this concept? Which fields should be explo-
red further?
8. How do you experience ability or disability (yours or others’)? This is a difficult question,
but inclusion touches these very profound aspects.
9. Have you ever intentionally or unintentionally excluded a person and were aware of it?
10. Have you ever completely included someone, deliberately or unintentionally, and were
aware of it?
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KNOWING HOW TO BE, KNOWING HOW TO LIVE, RELATE
Discussion of the theme: Diversity and marginalisation
PLUCKED FEATHERS - 1h 30 min
WORKSHEET No. 48
Screening of the Pixar short film
The educators screen the Pixar short film “Plucked feathers” (available on Youtube)
but interrupt it at minute 1:30, asking for their first impressions of what they have seen.
After this moment of reflection, the participants are divided into groups of up to 5 people
who are asked to imagine their own ending to the short film. If the educator considers it
appropriate, he or she can guide the activity with simple questions, such as: How do you
think the main character will behave? What actions will he perform? How will the other
birds react? In your opinion, will they become friends or will each go their own way? Once
the ending has been decided, each group will be asked to tell it (or recite, if appropriate)
in front of the others. After the recitation/telling of the ‘alternative’ endings, the short film
‘Plucked Feathers’ is screened. The activity ends with a collective reflection on the theme
proposed by the video.
Exercise
In our view, there is an important first principle to establish. If I perceive myself
as the centre and those around me as the Other, it is possible for the same thing
to happen to others. For all those who, in my opinion, belong to this ‘Other’ (i.e.
the rest of the people), perhaps I too am part of their ‘Other’.
ME IN THE CENTRE
This activity involves reading excerpts from the book written by an 18th century African
writer, Oladuah Equiano, who describes his first experience in European culture. The pur-
pose of the activity is to allow participants to explore their own cultural perceptions, their
own ‘centrism’.
Do not explain the objective of the activity and do not mention the author, otherwise
participants might immediately guess the writer’s profile.
Introduce the activity by telling participants that you will read a series of extracts from a
book describing a person’s experience. Their task will be, on an individual basis, to visua-
lise the writer by creating a mental profile of him/her.
Read the extracts, one at a time. Between each extract, pause to give participants time
to reflect on the text and the writer’s profile. Suggest they take notes at the end of each
reading to gradually create the profile. Tell them that they will probably not know the
name of the writer, who is actually not very famous. In square brackets are the words
that have been omitted to prevent the activity from becoming too simple. Ask them not to
speak during the exercise and to raise their hands and ask for explanations if they don’t
understand the meaning of the text. Read the first extract and show it to the participants.
Make sure it is clear to everyone before starting. Repeat the same thing for each extract,
making sure that everyone understands the text and that they always have time to take
notes on the diagram.
• “I was afraid of being killed, people [...] were looking at me and acting, as I thought,
in a savage way”;
• “Could we have been eaten by those [...] horrible-looking men, with […] faces and long
hair?”;
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• “I was astonished when I saw that... they used to eat without washing their hands...”;
• “I was horrified when I saw that ... they were touching the dead”;
• “... we were not at all aware of these blasphemies and all those obscene terms... that
they use.”
• “I was forced to notice the particular slimness of their women... and I thought they
were not as pure as the women [...]”.
At this point, ask the group for feedback. Invite one or two people to share their profile
and ask for the opinion of others. Immediately you will identify general opinion clusters
and then go onto another extract.
• “I was surprised that they did not make any sacrifice or offering...”.
At this point, you can start a discussion by asking participants whether this last extract
has changed their opinions in any way. Continue with further questions about the author
to get a better understanding of what the participants felt and what similar views are pre-
sent in the group, for example:
• how did you imagine this person?
• what century do you think the writer is from?
• do you think the author is European or non-European?
Usually, but not always, participants with European cultural origins describe the profile of
a European explorer, missionary or similar person who came into contact with non-Eu-
ropean cultures in the past. When you think the group has a sufficiently clear idea of the
writer, reveal the identity of the author and the source of the material.
• The incredible story of Olaudah Equiano, or Gustavus Vassa, known as the African.
Written in 1789.
At this point, copies with the full text in which the omitted (underlined) words appear can
also be handed out. (Worksheet No. 49)
Now it is possible to explore the profiles and ideas that participants have noted down with
questions such as:
• were you surprised by the author’s identity?
• did you identify with the author or with some of the people described?
• are you surprised that Westerners (Europeans) are seen in this way?
• does this teach us anything about prejudices, ours?
• where do these opinions come from?
• is it possible to apply some of the things learnt to current events?
It is important to share the results of this experience for two reasons:
1 Firstly, so that participants have the opportunity to express their anger or irritation if
they feel they have been misled by the activity or if they disapprove of their culture
being perceived in this way.
2 Secondly, to make participants realise how common and widespread it is for everyone
to perceive themselves as being at the ‘centre’, as the ‘norm’, looking from the outside
at what we see as ‘different’, as the Other. Stress that this is an experience that hap-
pens often, indeed always, in everyone’s life. In conclusion, explain that this activity
aims to show that each of us can be seen as “the other”.
This is what we want to share, our common experience.
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BEING ABLE TO VERIFY, EXPERIMENT AND SYNTHESISE
NURSERY RHYMES OF GIANNI RODARI
WORKSHEET No. 50
Through the reading of these nursery rhymes, the reflection focuses on our
human inclinations to judge and criticise what is different from us. Often,
instead of embracing diversity and appreciating the uniqueness of others,
we tend to consider what does not fit into our model of normality as ‘wrong’. The nursery
rhymes emphasise the fact that each of us has our own characteristics and uniqueness
and that it is important to accept and respect differences instead of judging them.
The other aspect that emerges is that human beings have a tendency to compare and
emulate: comparison with others is constructive if we grasp differences as a possibility
for enrichment (the different from me philosophy). It becomes negative if it only serves
to despise what we do not have, because our ego, vanity and desire to overpower do not
make us accept that there are qualities in others that we lack.
The final message is that true beauty lies in diversity and that we should not let our pre-
conceived opinions get in the way of understanding and cooperating among people. Abo-
ve all, we should remember to always look at our own ‘humps’ before pointing at those of
others.
Exercise to do at home
We recommend watching THE TASTE OF VICTORY
a 2000 film directed by Boaz Yakin
In the film, it is skin colour that ‘prevents’ relationships between human beings. Today what
are the “obstacles” that can prevent knowledge of the other? How can we try to overcome
them?
Coach Boone, in order for his boys to develop team spirit, ‘forces’ them to exchange infor-
mation about their interests, otherwise they will have a tougher workout. However strict this
teaching method is, it pays off. In today’s society, however, sport is no longer sufficient to
overcome racial differences. More and more often, in fact, we hear reports of racist chants in
stadiums and, what is more, the institutions seem powerless in the face of these phenome-
na. What can actually be done to educate positively against such behaviour?
How do we deal with incidents of racism or discrimination in general, which are more and
more frequent, especially among young people and unfortunately more and more violent?
“I was afraid of you Julius, afraid of what I didn’t know, now I realise that I hated my brother”;
this sentence pronounced by Gerry after the accident to his friend Julius seals the message
of the film in an exemplary manner, which ends with the final victory and entry into the le-
gend of the ‘Titans’ without defeat and with only one lesson: beyond the colour of your skin,
united you can win.
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09. Basic ethics of
affective relationships
FOR THE EDUCATOR
The ethical dimension is an inevitable aspect of human sexuality. The challenge
is how to live a ‘good’ sexuality, how to behave and resolve the human and vital
situations in which sexuality places us. The challenge is present and has not been
resolved, it is the human being who has to choose and resolve what to do with
the different possibilities in order to integrate them into his life, into his experience”
(ibid., p. 125).
objectives
The overall objective should be to provide a comprehensive and balanced education that
helps young people develop a mature, aware and respectful view of emotional relationships
and sexuality. The main objectives are as follows:
• Promote empathy: teach young people to understand and consider the feelings and expe-
riences of others, helping to create healthier relationships.
• Provide information on consent: explain in detail what consent means in a sexual rela-
tionship and how it can be withdrawn at any time.
• Deal with peer pressure: guide young people to recognise and deal with social or peer
pressure regarding relationships and sexuality.
• Develop conflict resolution skills: teach strategies to deal with and resolve conflicts with-
in relationships in a constructive way.
• Encourage openness to trusted adults: encourage young people to talk to trusted adults
(parents, teachers, counsellors) about questions or problems related to emotional rela-
tionships and sexuality.
• Education to responsible sexuality: discuss the responsibilities and consequences asso-
ciated with sexual activity, including the prevention of sexually transmitted diseases.
• Promote respect for everyone’s decisions: teach that everyone has the right to set their
own boundaries and that it is important to respect them.
• Recognise the signs of a toxic or abusive relationship: Provide tools to identify the signs
of a damaging relationship and promote access to support resources.
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Biblical figure: John the Apostle
Worksheet No. 51
Strengths and achievements:
• Before following Christ, he was one of John the Baptist’s disciples.
• One of the twelve disciples and, with Peter and James, one of Jesus’ closest co-workers.
• He wrote five books of the New Testament: the Gospel of John, 1, 2 and 3 John and Rev-
elation.
Shortcomings and errors:
• With James, he had a tendency to unleash anger and selfishness.
• He asked for a privileged place in the kingdom of Jesus.
Lessons from his life:
• He who discovers how much he is loved is able to love much.
• When God changes a life, he does not set aside personal characteristics, but uses them
effectively in his service.
General information:
• Occupation: fisherman, disciple
• Family:
• Father: Zebedee.
• Mother: Salome.
• Brother: James
• Peers:
• Jesus,
• Pilate,
• Herod
Key verse:
John 2:7-8
“Beloved, I am writing no new commandment to you but an old commandment that you had
from the beginning. The old commandment is the word that you have heard. And yet I do wri-
te a new commandment to you, which holds true in him and among you, for the darkness is
passing away, and the true light is already shining” .
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Path No. 09. 1
Equipment:
Duration of the meeting:
Welcome:
Discussion:
video projector, computer, adhesive tape/string, A3 sheets,
markers, cardboard for printing.
3h
10 min
30 min
OBSERVE, RECOGNISE, EXTRACT
Discussion of the theme: DO WE ALL REALLY AGREE?
The activity aims at:
• developing critical thinking, especially in relation to informed consent
• reflecting on and developing the ability to analyse stereotypes and prej-
udices related to situations of sexual violence and informed consent
Materials and resources:
• Roll of ribbon or string
• A3 Sheets
• Scorers
• Annex: Worksheet with stimulus sentences, to be copied onto A3 sheets (Work-
sheet No. 52)
Preparation
Make sure you have a clear room, without chairs or tables, where participants can move
around freely.
Prepare two posters on A3 sheets with the words I AGREE and one with the words I DO
NOT AGREE. Put up the two posters onto opposite sides of the room and divide the room
into two using a string or ribbon.
Cover the stimulus sentences on A3 sheets so that while reading them, the participants
can see them.
KNOWING HOW TO CONNECT, FEEL, BUILD
Introduction - 5 min
Inform participants about the activity by telling them that you will read out stimulus sen-
tences and that they should take a position, without talking and comparing with others,
by placing themselves either in the I agree section or in the I do not agree section.
It will not be possible to stand in the middle and not take a stand.
Realisation - 60 min
Group together the participants in the middle of the room and read out the first stimulus
sentence, displaying it on an A3 sheet of paper. Once it has been read, ask the partici-
pants to remain silent.
Once each participant has taken a position, ask for volunteers to justify their position to
the others, trying to convince those on the opposite side. At the end of each justification
or explanation, participants can decide to change their position.
After listening to the motivations of both sides, proceed with the next stimulus sentences.
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When the positioning activity has ended, ask the participants to sit in a circle and begin the
debriefing activities (20 minutes).
For this part, you can use the following questions:
• How do you feel?
• Was it difficult/easy to position yourself?
• What kind of information did you use to make a decision and position yourself?
• What does this activity tell us about the way we make decisions?
• What does this activity tell us about the information we need to make informed deci-
sions?
• What can we learn from this activity?
• What can we do to combat the phenomenon of sexual violence?
• What role can informed consent play in combating the phenomenon?
At the end of the activity, if participants have not done so, explain the link between sexual
violence and informed consent, encouraging the participants to learn more about it and
create initiatives in their school so that both students, teachers and staff are aware of the
issues and take action to combat the phenomenon of sexual violence.
Exercise No. 2
SAY NO, SAY YES
Objectives:
To stimulate boys and girls to explore and reflect on the experiences that are
associated with sexual experiences, how they guide choices and behaviour,
which elements and situations promote awareness and well-being and which ones create
unease and rejection.
Material needed:
• Worksheets “Say No!” and “Say Yes!”. (Worksheet No. 53)
Description of activity:
• Divide the participants into small groups and give each one the worksheets.
• Each person has to fill in the different windows by describing the type of situation in
which they feel like rejecting or accepting a sexual proposal.
• Each subgroup chooses one of the described situations, defining its characters and
characteristics, and acts it out in front of the rest of the group.
• A plenary discussion follows on the elements that emerged from the work of the sub-
groups and the dramatisations, and on the emotions the different protagonists had.
(taken from M. Maggi: ‘L’affettività e la sessualità nella scuola che cambia’, Ed. Berti 2005)
KNOWING HOW TO BE, KNOWING HOW TO LIVE, RELATE
SEXTING
The term sexting comes from Eng lish and is composed of two words, ‘sex’ and ‘texting’.
These words generally refer to the exchange of sexual or sexually explicit messages, audio,
images or videos - especially via smartphones or social network chats - including nude or
semi-nude images. This phenomenon has become widespread in recent years, even among
minors. Experimentation with sexuality, and thus also with sexting, among adolescents is a
physiological need that younger people should be able to satisfy, as it is linked to psychophy-
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sical well-being and growth. Social detachment and isolation, in general, but particularly
now - brought about by the regulations to prevent the spread of the coronavirus - entail dif-
ficulties for all relationships, including those of younger people, regardless of whether they
were already in a loving relationship even before the coronavirus emergency.
In your opinion:
• Is this a widespread phenomenon?
• What is meant by sexting?
• What can be discovered through sexting?
• What are the possible consequences?
Participants may wish to explore the issues on their own:
• monitoring the media and checking the use of stereotypes and prejudices in narratives
about incidents of sexual violence;
• reporting speech that stimulates violence to the relevant authorities;
• discussing with peers or family using the stimulus sentences used in class.
Participants might want to be active in their own school context:
• conducting interviews with classmates using stimulus sentences and asking for their opin-
ion. The interviews can be used in the next meeting to chart the opinions of young people
in context;
• organising a flash mob or other demonstration at school to raise awareness;
• designing and displaying posters and banners to raise awareness and draw attention to a
particular issue related to sexual and reproductive rights.
BEING ABLE TO VERIFY, EXPERIMENT AND SYNTHESISE
Video
HE WAS ASKING FOR IT
WORKSHEET No. 54
A man reports a robbery, the woman who collects his complaint asks que-
stions that insinuate that, through their clothing and attitudes, the victim so-
mehow provoked, or did not adequately resist, the crime they underwent. That they were
asking for it.
A short videoclip that reproduces, with a male protagonist, the situations and reactions
that a woman reporting violence can often face.
Objectives:
By showing how questions and insinuations directed at female victims of violence are sen-
seless when directed at a male suspect, the video can stimulate boys and girls to reflect
on the topic of violence, consent and the dynamics of accountability which, often gen-
der-based, can represent a further violence that the victim has to undergo.
Description of the activity:
Viewing of the video and free discussion.
Action plan:
The participants could become active in their own contexts by creating the exhibit What
Were You Wearing?
What is the exhibit What were you Wearing?
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What were you wearing? is the exhibit that tells the stories of abuse matched with the
clothes on display, which are meant to faithfully represent the clothing the victim was
wearing at the time of the violence suffered.
This project was realised in 2013 thanks to Jen Brockman, director of the Sexual Assault
Prevention and Education Centre at the University of Kansas, and Mary A. Wyandt-Hie-
bert, director of all programming initiatives of the Sexual and Relationship Violence Cen-
tre at the University of Arkansas, and spread to Italy thanks to the work of the associa-
zione libere sinergie, which proposes an adaptation to the socio-cultural context of our
country.
The idea behind the work is to raise awareness on the subject of violence against women
and to dispel the prejudice that the victim could have avoided rape if only she had worn
less provocative clothes. Hence the emblematic title ‘How were you dressed’. Visitors
can identify with the stories told and at the same time see how common the clothes worn
by the victims are. “You have to be able to elicit, within the exhibit space, reactions simi-
lar to those told,” says Brockman, in order to make visitors think, “I have these clothes
hanging in my wardrobe!” or “That’s how I was dressed this week.”
In this context, we can see the stereotypes that suggest that by eliminating certain clothes
from the wardrobe or avoiding wearing them, women can automatically eliminate sexual
violence. “It is not the clothes one wears that cause sexual violence,” Brockman adds,
“but the person who causes the harm. Being able to find that peace for the victims and
that moment of awareness for communities is the real motivation behind the project”.
HOW TO SET UP THE EXHIBIT
WORKSHEET No. 55
The setting up of the exhibit What were you wearing? can be a moment in which
young people, who have participated in the educational activities on informed con-
sent, act out what they have learnt in order to raise awareness among their peers, teachers,
parents and school staff on the issue of violence against women and informed consent.
Having participated in educational activities on the topic of informed consent, and on vio-
lence against women as a violation of human rights, will enable the youngsters to have more
expertise on the issues and be better prepared to run the exhibit What were you wearing?
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Path No. 09.2
Equipment: projector, computer, flipchart, post-it notes, pens, printing of the
“Charter of Rights”.
Duration of the meeting: 3h
Welcome: 10 min
Discussion: 30 min
OBSERVE, RECOGNISE, EXTRACT
To get back on topic: DO YOU WANT A CUP OF TEA?
The activity aims at:
• allowing participants to experience what it means to give consent in a
conscious manner
• enabling participants to reflect on informed consent in various daily actions and also
in relation to decisions about their own life relationships
Materials and resources:
• Table and chairs
• Post-it notes
• Pens
• Flipchart
• Projector and PC
• Attachments: (Worksheet No. 56)
Scenario 1 (one copy for the first group)
Scenario 2 (one copy for the second group)
Scenario 3 (one copy for the third group)
Preparation: Make sure you have a room in which the chairs can be moved around. Create a cir-
cle with chairs, where you invite participants to sit down, for the first part of the activity.
KNOWING HOW TO CONNECT, FEEL, BUILD
Introduction - 15 min
Invite the participants to take a seat and, after welcoming them, present the objectives of the
session.
Start by brainstorming on informed consent, asking participants to write down their definition
on a post-it note of ‘informed consent’ and then paste it on the flipchart.
When everyone has made a contribution, make a summary of the various definitions.
Realisation - 75 min
Divide the participants into three groups and give them a description of one of the three sce-
narios, which will be acted out in a maximum of 5 minutes.
Once the scenarios have been handed out to the three groups, allow 20 minutes preparation
time.
While the groups are preparing for the performance, organise the space as if it were a theatre.
Invite participants to take turns acting out their scenarios. While the participants act out their
performance, the others take note of what they see.
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KNOWING HOW TO BE, KNOWING HOW TO LIVE, RELATE
At the end of the performances, take the participants out of their acting role and
invite them to the debriefing activity (20 minutes). You can use the following que-
stions to conduct the debriefing:
• How do you feel?
• What do the three scenarios represent? And in particular what is represented in
each of them?
• Was it difficult/easy to get into the roles?
• What does this activity tell us about how we make decisions or influence the decisions of
others?
• What does this activity tell us about the information we need to make informed decisions?
• What can we learn from this activity?
• Show the video ‘The Tea Consent’ (Worksheet No. 57)
• Link the experience to the theme of ‘informed consent’ and the realities of the participants.
Suggestions for facilitators
Try to conduct the activity in a group, so that you can best deal with any personal experiences
that may arise.
Try to use simple language that respects diversity. Be welcoming and suspend judgement, du-
ring the realisation of the activity and during the participants’ performances, inviting everyone to
focus on the themes, connecting them with the realities they experience.
Participants may wish to explore the issues on their own:
• Posting the ‘tea consent’ video on social media to inspire their peers and friends;
• Showing the video in their family and stimulating a discussion on the issue of informed con-
sent;
• Continuing to participate in educational activities that can be carried out in various contexts,
even at school, in relation to the topics discussed.
Exercise No. 2
INFORMED CHOICES FOR SAFE SEX
Objective:
to understand different aspects of informed choices for safer sex, including
contraceptive methods and open communication in sexual relationships.
Activities:
1. Matching contraceptive methods:
Provide a list of contraceptive methods and ask participants to match them with the
correct explanations of how they work.
For example:
Method: Condom
Explanation: A physical barrier that prevents sperm from entering the uterus, reducing
the risk of pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.
Method: contraceptive pill
Explanation: An oral pill containing hormones that prevent ovulation and thus pregnancy.
Method: Intrauterine device (IUD)
Explanation: A small device inserted into the uterus to prevent pregnancy. It may be cop-
per-based or contain hormones.
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2. Discussion on communication: Provide hypothetical situations involving decisions about
safe sex and ask participants to discuss how to deal with them by communicating openly
with their partner.
For example:
Situation: Your partner asks you to have sexual intercourse without a condom.
Discussion: How would you react? What are the reasons why safe sex is important in this
situation?
Situation: You want to start a sexual relationship with a new partner. How would you approach
the discussion on sexual history and STI testing?
Discussion: What questions would you ask? How would you share your personal information?
3. Group discussion: Conclude the exercise with a group discussion on the issues raised. Ask
participants to share their opinions, experiences and advice on communication and choo-
sing safe sexual practices.
Remember that sensitivity and respect for the participants are crucial when dealing with
issues related to sexuality. Adapt the exercise to the age and knowledge of the participants
and create an environment in which they can feel at ease while participating in the discus-
sion.
BEING ABLE TO VERIFY, EXPERIMENT AND SYNTHESISE
IDENTIFYING MY RIGHTS - 60 min
Group work - 30 min
• Ask participants to divide into small groups
• Distribute a copy of the ‘Charter of Sexual and Reproductive Rights’ (Worksheet 58) to
each group.
• Ask participants to read their documents on sexual and reproductive rights and to
reflect on the following questions:
1. Thinking about the decisions you have to make, what rights can support your choices?
For example, in order to decide when to have your first sexual relation, you need the
right to information, the right to services and the right to choose.
2. Which groups of people have free or greater access to these rights than others? And
why?
3. Which groups of people cannot have full access to all rights? Why? (Think about
whether being a man or a woman, an adult or a young person, having financial means
or not, or living in an urban or rural context can favour or limit the ability to make cer-
tain decisions).
4. Is there anything you can do to have better access and to claim these rights?
Plenary - 30 min
Bring the groups together to present their thoughts. Draw general conclusions from the
discussion.
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10. Care of areas of
educational impact
For the educator
The family is the place of the emotional bond par excellence, an active player
of pastoral care in the Educative-Pastoral Communities and the space for an
experience of dialogue, respect, love and attention for young people who want to
invest in relationships and family ties (cf. PGF, chapter III).
The family is “the first school of human values, where we learn the wise use of
freedom. Certain inclinations develop in childhood and become so deeply rooted
that they remain throughout life, either as attractions to a particular value or a natural
repugnance to certain ways of acting” (AL 274).
Friendship offers a solid promise, where other romances and sexual relationships
are created and dissolved according to the fast-food model (food that is prepared,
served and eaten quickly). Friendship “is no fleeting or temporary relationship, but one
that is stable, firm and faithful, and matures with the passage of time. A relationship
of affection that brings us together and a generous love that makes us seek the good
of our friend. Friends may be quite different from one another, but they always have
things in common that draw them closer in mutual openness and trust” (CV 152).
objectives
The overall objective is to help young people develop social and emotional skills that can prepare
them to build meaningful and lasting relationships within both family and friendships. The main
objectives are:
• Development of empathy: helping to understand the feelings and perspectives of others,
promoting the ability to put oneself in the shoes of a family member or friend.
• Effective communication: Teaching how to communicate in an open and respectful manner
to express one’s feelings and needs within the family and among friends.
• Personal growth: Showing how family and friendship relationships can contribute to personal
growth through mutual learning, emotional support and the acceptance of challenges.
• Cooperation and collaboration: Promoting awareness of the benefits of cooperation and
shared responsibility within the family and friendships.
• Respect for differences: Encouraging respect for different opinions, cultures and lifestyles
both within families and in circles of friends.
• Conflict management: Teaching of strategies to deal constructively with conflicts that may
arise in family and friendship relationships, encouraging dialogue and the search for solutions.
• Recognition of roles: Helping to understand the different roles within the family and among
friends, promoting respect and cooperation between the various figures.
• Emotional support: Showing how emotional support is a crucial element in family and friend-
ship relationships, encouraging young people to be present for others at different stages of
life.
• Creating positive memories: Illustrating how moments shared with family and friends can
create lasting bonds and precious memories.
• Developing healthy relationships: Providing guidance on how to establish and maintain
healthy relationships based on trust, understanding and mutual respect.
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Biblical figures: Azariah, Ananias
and Mishael
Worksheet No. 59
Strengths and achievements:
• They joined Daniel in his decision not to eat at the king’s table.
• They maintained a friendship that stood the test of problems, success, wealth and the threat
of death.
• They were unwilling to compromise their beliefs, even in the face of death.
• They survived in the fiery furnace.
Lessons from their lives:
• There is great strength in true friendship
• It is important to stay with people with whom we share our beliefs.
• God can be trusted even when we cannot predict the outcome.
General information:
• Location: Babylon
• Occupations: Servants and advisers to the king
• Peers: Daniel, Nebuchadnezzar
Key verse:
Daniel 3:16-18
“Azariah, Ananias and Mishael answered King Nebuchadnezzar, saying: ‘We have no need
to answer you on this matter. Behold, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the
fiery furnace; and from your hands, O king, he will deliver us. But know, O king, that we will
not serve your gods nor worship the image that you have set up”.
The story of Azariah, Ananias and Mishael is told in the book of Daniel.
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Path No. 10.1
Equipment: projector, computer, ball of wool, poster, markers, song printout,
Gospel text printout.
Duration of the meeting: 3h
Welcome: 10 min
Discussion: 30 min
OBSERVE, RECOGNISE, EXTRACT
To get back on topic: AROUND US
Objective: To help young people feel like a family in the community to build
relationships.
Material: ball of wool, poster, markers.Iniziamo con una domanda:
Let’s start with a question:
• Who can remember a happy or even sad event that led them to enter into a rela-
tionship with other people, outside the family?
Holding the ball of wool in your hand, toss it to a participant who answers the question.
The ball of wool is passed from hand to hand and each person must first hold the thread
with their fingers, in order to form a net between those present.
The youngsters take the floor:
Let them tell us what happened during the game and the significance of the net built
with the ball being passed from hand to hand.
Follow-up on the theme:
By sharing one’s time and energy within a network, we create opportunities for mutual
solidarity. When you interact with other people, every time you open up and relate to
others, you receive many benefits: you learn to dialogue, give priority and detect simi-
larities.
The Christian message itself proposes the humanity of the family.
Jesus himself grew up in a loving family, he experienced welcome, tenderness, forgive-
ness, and generosity within the holy family, but at the same time he also experienced
the world of ‘open’ relationships, as we read in Lk 2:42-45, where the caravan repre-
sents a network of families travelling along the same road, the same situations and the
same needs.
The concrete way of networking is to look around and find many opportunities for rela-
tionships that can then become service and dedication to others, so that the world can
become more beautiful and habitable for all.
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Exercise
NO MAN IS AN ISLAND
Objectives:To bring out the need for relationships in each one of us.
The animator writes the following sentences in the middle of a poster RELA-
TED to and around it:
• It scares me to feel...
• I am afraid of...
• I feel lonely when...
• am afraid when...
The recipients are invited to complete the sentences. Our need for relationships within the
family and friendship emerges. In the end, there is a discussion on what has emerged.
Why this need for the other?
Why? “Each of us experiences incompleteness on a daily basis. Evidence of this is the need
for companionship, the fear of solitude, the search for someone to listen to us, the security
that comes from being together, in a group, the attraction of the girl or boy, the need to be
loved, protected, accepted, the need for tenderness” (Sovernigo).
In any case, it is certain that what makes us happy is not the certainty of possessing skil-
ls, but rather the opportunity to exercise them and experience them for someone. We are
made for others! Therefore, a man is mature when he develops the capacity to comes out of
himself to give himself to others and welcome them.
KNOWING HOW TO CONNECT, FEEL, BUILD
Discussion of the theme: LA CURA - Franco Battiato
WORKSHEET No. 60
Material:
• computer
• projector
• text of Battiato’s song La Cura’.
The youngsters take the floor:
after listening to the song, a brainstorming session is proposed on the meaning of the
following: “I have called you by your name, I will take care of you”, “What does it mean to
call God by his name and how does God take care of us?”.
Material:
• a large Bible
• strips of coloured cards with the beginning of a Bible sentence cards with the beginning
of the sentences below
• photocopies with the testimony of educators.
One of the youngsters is invited to choose a strip with the beginning of some sentences:
• A long time ago ....
• There was a people ...
• Our fathers ...
• They were looking for the promised land...
• Jesus came ...
• From Galilee he went to the Jordan ...
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• John baptised him ...
• He spent some time in the desert ...
• He started teaching his own ...
• And to go from village to village...
• He came to Jericho ...
• There, there was a blind man begging for alms ....
• Jesus stopped and looked at him...
• Eventually he asked him ...
• “What do you want me to do for you’’.
• The blind man replied ....
• To be able to see ....
Each participant must continue the beginning of the sentence by telling something that has
to do with their own life, the time in which they are living, their friends and that is in some
way related to the sentence on the strip.
Afterwards, everyone should look for people who have the same sentence as them and com-
pare what they have written together. The shared work will be brought back to the assembly.
Follow-up on the theme:
We are inside an ancient story, the most beautiful one that exists. It is a story that comes
from afar and reaches us. Our stories are written in this book.
We all tell stories, we do it to recall facts, to pass them down to memory, to celebrate them.
The same logic applies to faith. Introducing faith means telling and narrating the story of
God’s love for humanity. The Church preserves the memory of this. The books of the Bible,
especially the Gospels, are stories, narrations of Jesus’ teaching and the many stories of the
people who encounter him.
It is in storytelling that faith can really be transmitted, because we are personally involved,
to the point of touching one’s heart. Through the narration of a Bible passage, we build a real
story: our life is pured into Bible scripture and becomes a narrative with our facts and those
of the Bible characters, such as Abraham, Moses, Mary, Elizabeth, the blind man of Jericho,
the adulteress, the Samaritan woman.
KNOWING HOW TO BE, KNOWING HOW TO LIVE, RELATE
JESUS OUR TRUE FRIEND
WORKSHEET No. 61
The youngsters are given Gospel texts which show the way Jesus experiences
friendship and relationships with the people he meets. (Worksheet no. 61)
The participants are divided into groups of 3-4 members and are given some Gospel pas-
sages or other texts chosen by the educator. Using the texts, they will try to find some
characteristics of Jesus as a friend and list them on a sheet of paper.
After this work, we all get together and write down everything we have found through the
Gospel passages, noting it down on a poster.
At this point the educator, if necessary, adds other elements he considers important, to
conclude the profile of Jesus as a true friend.
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The following notes can be used as an aid:
“He chooses two to be with him”: there can be no true friendship if one does not spend
time together. The friendship that Jesus proposes to us thus arises from frequent en-
counters, rubbing elbows, interest in the concrete life of the other. First of all, it is neces-
sary to love those who are close to us....
“To send them to preach ... And destroy demons”: it would be wrong to think, however,
that friendship ends with looking into each other’s eyes. If we truly love each other, this
good must direct us towards others, towards a greater good. Those who have found a
treasure are called to share it so that others may experience this wealth.
“For you, instead, let it not be so...” “I am among you as one who serves”: this teaching
of Jesus to the apostles is truly incredible. Friendship is not trying to be better than the
other, but doing everything so that the other can give the best of himself. St Gregory’s
words on friendship with St Basil are very beautiful: “Our rivalry consisted, not in seeking
the first place for oneself, but in yielding it to the other.”
“He fixed his gaze on Peter”: Jesus forgives Peter who denied him three times and thus
reminds us that there can be no true friendship without the ability to forgive. Friends,
even good friends, can make mistakes, and we too can make mistakes because we are
fragile. Without forgiveness, no relationship can last.
“Lay down your life for your friends”: Our friend Jesus is willing to sacrifice himself for
us and tells us that there is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
It is like saying to someone: “I love you so much that I would rather have your life than
mine”.
“I have called you friends, because everything i have heard from the father i have
made known to you”: Friendship is confidence and trust, and that is why we confide our
most intimate and most important things to a true friend.
“Friend, do what you have come for”: Judas would not have deserved to be in the circle
of Jesus’ friends, but the Lord calls him friend even at the moment of betrayal. Friend-
ship is also this: giving trust by accepting the risk of being betrayed.
BEING ABLE TO VERIFY, EXPERIMENT AND SYNTHESISE
The Bible is God’s story for us. It is from there that we must start to allow ourselves to be que-
stioned on our lives and to identify right and honest behaviour. And it is so important that we
cannot just read it. The many stories we find in the Bible must be meditated upon, we must
let them enter our hearts, and make them a part of us.
Through the numerous stories, we can encounter God in everyday events, not only in momen-
ts of play and animation, but also in prayer or at Mass.
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Path No. 10.2
Equipment: projector, computer, printout of song and gospel passages, workshe
et printout, blank sheets and coloured pens.
Duration of the meeting: 3h 30 min
Welcome: 10 min
Discussion: 30 min
OBSERVE, RECOGNISE, IDENTIFY
To get back on topic: THANKSGIVING - Max Pezzali
WORKSHEET No. 62
Objective:
To help young people open their hearts to recognise a gift in others.
Material:
projector
computer
lyrics and video of the song: “Grazie mille” by Max Pezzali.
Listening to the song ‘Grazie mille’ by Max Pezzali.
The youngsters take the floor:
• Today it is more and more difficult to be thankful, to say thank you, as if everything
was owed to us. Is it easy for me to say thank you?
• What does ‘being grateful’ mean to you?
• Is it our custom to say thank you in our family, in our community, to those who help us,
those who are close to us, those who accompany us in life?
Explore the theme further:
According to the teachings of Pope Francis, the words “thank you”, “excuse me” and “sor-
ry” are three pearls we must recover and put back into our personal, family and social life,
in this they enable us to improve ourselves, others and the community in which we live.
Gratitude is the element that should unite all relationships, from the closest to the most
distant, starting with our family, friends, and co-workers. Learning to say thank you in the
family. If we think about it, it is precisely at home that we often forget to say “thank you”,
because we take our family members’ gestures and love for granted. Let us say ‘thank
you’ every time someone does something for us. Gratitude, however, is more than this.
It is an attitude of the heart that God desires to accomplish in us. “In all circumstances
give thanks, for this is the will of God for you” (1 Thess 5:18). Being thankful is not always
easy! But whom should we thank? Our first thanksgiving is to glorify God, always. To say
our ‘thank you’ to God for the gift of life, for the gift of our children, and thus for the gift of
parenthood. And our gratitude must be expressed continually. Gratitude and thankfulness
imply joy. When we truly give thanks from our heart, it has a positive effect not only on us,
but also on those around us.
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To get back to our life:
The young people split into groups and asked themselves a few questions:
• Let’s try to think of all the things we feel grateful for.
• It is easy to give thanks when everything goes well in our lives, but is it just as easy in
difficulties?
• How can gratitude improve interpersonal relationships?
• How can gratitude be cultivated?
KNOWING HOW TO CONNECT, FEEL, BUILD
TEXT MESSAGES FROM YOU AND ME
WORKSHEET No. 63 - 64
We continue journey along the path of relationships, focusing on the importance of
criticism and how to criticise others constructively, then on messages from you and
messages from me.
If you find it useful, you can start the meeting by reading the Gospel passage from Mt 18:15-
18.
In this passage Jesus gives us the golden rule of all brotherly correction: speak directly to the
person concerned, avoiding sneaking around and gossip. The Gospel passage also tells us that
correction is a duty that comes from sincerely seeking the good of the other. In other words, if
I see a friend doing something wrong and I really want what’s good for him, I must point out
his mistake. But how must correction be done for it to be truly constructive?
At this point, a worksheet (Worksheet no. 64) is handed out in which the youth write down how
they would point out certain things to others in certain situations. In this first phase, only the
first part of the worksheet is filled in, leaving the part on messages from me blank, which have
not been explained yet.
The participants write their name on the back of the worksheet and hand it to the educator
who, without specifying who wrote it, reads out the sentences that have been jotted down. It
will surely turn out that our way of criticising others is typical of text messages, unconstructive
and accusatory.
Then, after reflecting on our way of criticising others and after explaining the me-messages,
we try all together to find the best way to correct others constructively, using the situations
presented on the sheet. It is important that each person write the me-message on their own
sheet, even though it was decided in the group, and take it home: it will be a useful reminder
to put this new way of dialoguing with others into practice.
KNOWING HOW TO BE, KNOWING HOW TO LIVE, RELATE
When what we communicate to others are only our own reactions or impressions before the ‘sti-
muli’ that come from them, we can effectively resort to ‘I’ messages instead of ‘you’.
What is a message from me?
It is a way of expressing your reactions in relation to what the other person is doing. It allows you to
let the other person know, without judging or censoring them, how you feel about their behaviour.
For example, ‘I’m disappointed you didn’t attend the last meeting, because I would have liked to
know what you thought about...’. What about a message from you? It is used to express to another
person what you find negative about them and what you think they should change or modify.
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For example: ‘You never take the first step, you’re a lazy person’.
Me-messages reflect your reactions, how you feel; they inform others (the persons concerned)
of the effect they have with their behaviour... and they turn into a kind invitation to change their
attitude.
You-messages usually tend to blame others: they are a kind of threat, which is why they are usually
ineffective. If it is difficult to say ‘I’ messages, you can resort to the following manner: ‘I am sorry...
when you... because I...’.
BEING ABLE TO VERIFY, EXPERIMENT AND SYNTHESISE
To continue practising at home or in your usual contexts:
Strive to always find a reason to say “thank you” for every aspect that enriches our days from
the One who always takes care of us.
Exercise:
THE POWER OF GRATITUDE - 1h 20 min
Objective: to understand the importance of saying ‘thank you’ in family and friendship
relationships and to practise gratitude.
Step-by-step exercise:
1. Introduction - 5 min: Start the exercise by explaining the importance of gratitude in
relationships and how expressing gratitude can strengthen family and friendship ties.
2. List of reasons - 10 min: Ask participants to make a list of at least three reasons why
they are grateful to an important person in their life, be it family or a friend.
3. Write gratitude notes - 20 min: Provide paper and coloured pens. Each participant
should write a note of gratitude to a person of their choice from the list above. The notes
should be sincere and specific about what you are grateful for.
4. Exchange of notes - 15 min: Now ask the participants to exchange notes. Each person
will read the note they have received from another participant.
5. Discussion - 15 min: After reading the cards, start a discussion about how they felt
about receiving and reading these thank-you cards. Ask them whether the act of saying
“thank you” had an impact on their perception of relationships.
6. Long-term commitment - 10 min: Conclude the exercise by encouraging participants
to maintain the habit of expressing gratitude in their daily relationships. Each person
should make a commitment to say “thank you” more often.
7. Conclusion - 5 min: Conclude the exercise by emphasising how the gesture of saying
“thank you” can help to strengthen relationships and create a more positive environment.
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worksheets
for children and young people
01. Biblical figure:
Balaam
Balaam was one of those interesting characters in the Old Testament who, al-
though he wasn’t part of God’s chosen people, he was willing to acknowledge
that the Lord was a mighty God. But Balaam did not believe in the Lord as the
one true God. His story highlights the danger of maintaining an exterior façade
of spirituality over a corrupt inner life. Balaam was a man who was willing to
obey God’s commands as long as he could profit from them. This mixture of
motivations - obedience and profit - eventually led to his death. Even when
he was aware of the awesome power of the God of Israel, his heart always ran
after the riches he could obtain in Moab. There he returned to die when the
armies of Israel invaded it.
Eventually, we all go through the same process. What we are and who we are
will somehow come to the surface, destroying the masks we have worn to co-
ver our true identity. The efforts we make to maintain our appearance would
be better spent finding the answer to sin in our lives. We can avoid falling into
Balaam’s error by facing ourselves and realising that God is willing to accept
us, forgive us and literally recreate us from within. Don’t miss out on the great
discovery that escaped Balaam.
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02. The story of the young
man and the river
A young man wandered aimlessly for days in the forest, with dirty clothes and
without food, until finally, when the trees had thinned out, he found himself
before the course of a river.
The water was high and he could only swim through it, but he was also strong
and was not convinced he could make it.
Despite his fear, he got ready to jump into the water without thinking too much,
but a voice stopped him: “You won’t make it, there’s no point in trying!”
The young man looked around without seeing anyone, then, from a nearby tree,
emerged a little girl who could not have been more than eight years old.
She was wearing a fuchsia-coloured dress and a wooden bucket in her hand.
Behind her moved nimbly a small goat and a kid behind them. The young man
watched as the girl calmly approached the river, climbed onto some stones near
the bank and filled her bucket with water, then gave it to her animals to drink.
“Why did you want to die?” she asked the young man directly, who was surpri-
sed by such bluntness. He did not answer immediately, so the girl continued:
“Judging by your appearance you have not eaten for days, would you like a
piece of bread?”.
The young man hesitated and shook his head to decline the invitation, but the
girl had already taken a napkin containing the bread and threw it to the young
man, who promptly grabbed it.
As he suspiciously eased his hunger pangs, the girl said to him: ‘What is it that
makes you feel so bad?
The young man swallowed and this time, having dispelled his surprise and embar-
rassment, replied in a calm voice: “I don’t know who I am any more, I would like
to find myself again, to understand who I really am, and so I set out on a journey.
The girl watched the young man as he ate some more bread and took the
bucket to fill it up again. “You’ve never been here, have you?” she asked him as
she approached the river.
“No!” the young man replied sincerely.
Then the girl turned around and before filling the bucket with water she asked
him: ‘Yesterday I lost a hair clip in my house and I can’t find it anymore, can you
help me look for it along this river bank?
The young man did not understand the meaning of that strange question and,
as the girl smiled in anticipation of the answer, he said: ‘If you lost it at home,
we won’t find it here!
She bent down to fill the bucket and replied: “If you are lost, what are you lo-
oking for where you have never been? Shouldn’t you look where you got lost?”.
“Where?” the young man asked.
“Inside yourself!” she said, laughing at what in her eyes was a silly question.
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Filling the bucket, she approached the young man and invited him to drink, then
asked, “Is there any river in the bucket?”
“Of course not!” the young man immediately replied, “there is only water!”.
“Yes,” she replied, “I am like water in the river!”.
The young man looked at her thinking she was crazy. She continued.
“My name is Martina,” she told him, “and the river you see has its own name, but
I cannot put it in the bucket, even if I fill it with its water.
Not even you can know Martina now, even if you are talking to me. I always look
the same, like the river, but I change, like you and like the water in the river.
Every bucket of water I give my little goat is always filled with water from the
river, yet it is always new water, different water.
We are not, but we become, we are always new and different, like the water in
the flowing river, we always call it the same, but it is never the same”.
The young man drank, impressed by the wisdom of a girl fetching water from the
river with a wooden bucket. She turned around, filled the bucket again and went
back to where she had come from.
Before disappearing behind the trees, she looked at the young man and said: “If
you look hard enough, I am sure you will find yourself, but remember that you
will not find a pond where the water is still and stinks, but a river that flows and
although it looks the same, it is never the same.
And if you really want to take a bucket of that water,” she concluded, “you have
to go back to the spring, here you will never find what you are looking for, it’s
inside of you, my grandfather always tells me!’ She smiled and disappeared.
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03. Be the best of
whatever you are
If you can’t be a pine on the top of the hill,
Be a scrub in the valley - but be
The best little scrub by the side of the rill;
Be a bush if you can’t be a tree.
If you can’t be a highway then just be a trail,
If you can’t be the sun be a star;
It isn’t by size that you win or you fail -
Be the best of whatever you are!
Always be the best of what you are.
Try to discover the design you are called to be
then set out with passion to make it happen in life.
Quote by Martin Luther King,
from a poem by Douglass Malloch
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04. The story of
the sad tree
Once upon a time, there was a beautiful garden, with trees and flowers of all
kinds, apple trees, orange trees, and roses. Everyone was happy and satisfied.
There was only happiness in that garden, except for one tree which was very
sad. The poor tree had a problem: he didn’t know who it was!
“You lack concentration,” the apple tree told him “if you really try hard, you can
make delicious apples. Look how easy it is.”
“Don’t listen to him” intervened the rose bush “and look how beautiful we are!”.
The desperate tree tried to follow every advice. He tried to produce apples and
make roses bloom but, failing, he grew more and more frustrated with each
attempt.
One day an owl came to the garden.
He was the wisest of all birds and seeing the despair of the tree he exclaimed:
“Don’t worry. Your problem is not that serious. It is the same as many human
beings! I’ll give you the solution: don’t spend your life being what others want
you to be. Be yourself. Know yourself and to do this listen to your inner voice.
Then the owl disappeared.
“My inner voice? Being myself? Know myself?” the desperate tree thought to
itself about the owl’s words when it suddenly understood. He plugged his ears
and opened his heart and heard his inner voice of him saying to him “You will
never give apples because you are not an apple tree, and you will not blossom
every spring because you are not a rosebush. You are a Sequoia, and your de-
stiny is to grow tall and majestic. You are here to provide shelter for birds, shade
for travelers, and beauty for the landscape! You have this mission!
At these words, the tree felt strong and confident and ceased any attempt to be-
come someone else and exactly what others expected of him. In a short time,
he filled his space and became admired and respected by all.
Only from that moment did the garden become completely happy.
This is the story of the sad tree, full of lessons and insights for our personal
growth.
The message of this fable is about believing in yourself, accepting yourself and
following your inner voice.
Many get lost in the statements or ideas of others, giving so much weight to
the opinions and thoughts of others, but not to their own, thus ending up giving
credit to anyone but themselves.
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05. Alike, an animated
short film for reflection
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrQ7KAs6zl4
* follow the instructions on page 182
to select subtitles
in your preferred language
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06. Biblical figure:
Ruth and Noemi
The stories of some people in the Bible are so intertwined that they are almost
inseparable. We know more about their relationships than we do about their
individuals. And in an age that worships personality, their stories are useful
models of good relationships. Naomi and Ruth are wonderful examples of this
fusion of lives. Their culture, family background and age were very different. As
mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, they had perhaps as many opportunities
for tension as for tenderness. And so they came closer to each other.
They experienced deep sorrow, they loved each other profoundly, and they
gave themselves completely to the God of Israel. And despite their interdepen-
dence, they were free in their mutual commitment. Naomi was willing to allow
Ruth to return to her family. Ruth was willing to leave her home and go to Israel.
Naomi even helped arrange Ruth’s marriage to Boaz, even though it might have
changed her relationship with her.
God was at the centre of their intimate communication. Through Naomi, Ruth
came to know the God of Israel. The old woman enabled Ruth to see, hear and
feel all the joys and sorrows of her relationship with God.
• How often do you feel that your thoughts and questions about God must be
left out of an intimate friendship?
• How often do you express your inconvenient thoughts about God to your
boyfriend/girlfriend or friends?
Being open about our relationship with God can bring depth and intimacy to our
relationship with others.
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07. Chicken Little
Once upon a time, there was a henhouse in which roosters, chickens, turkeys and
ducks lived. The community, led by a rooster, also included Chicken Little, a chick
considered to be a little weak in the head.
Life flowed happily in the chicken coop because everyone was protected by a
large, sturdy fence that kept predators away.
One day the fox, who wanted to eat all the members of the community, after ob-
serving the fence for a long time, thought about resorting to psychology.
From a book, entitled Psychology, the fox learnt this advice: ‘To influence the
masses, target the less intelligent first’. Thus he made Chicken Little believe that
the sky was about to fall and that everyone was destined to a bad end. Unless...
they let the fox lead them to a cave, under cover.
The book says: ‘If you tell a lie, don’t tell a small one, but a big one’.
So the fox took a blue sign with a star painted on it, threw it into the henhouse and
dropped it on Chicken Little’s head.
The chicken was horrified and then, when, speaking through the fence, the fox
made him believe he was the voice of doom, Chicken Little immediately ran to
warn the whole henhouse: “The sky is falling!”. And, to prove it, he showed the
bump on his head.
The hens’ reaction was immediate: “Oh, my God, how scary! What are we going
to do? They will kill us all!”
“Don’t be silly, it’s just a piece of wood that fell on Chicken Little’s head,” said the
rooster, but the fox, still using his psychology book, began to undermine the chi-
ckens’ confidence by circulating the rumour that the rooster was a wimp, unfit to
rule the chicken coop. Then, whispering through the fence, he convinced Chicken
Little: ‘You must be the real boss! You have the skills, not the rooster!”.
The chickens begged Chicken Little to save them and she followed the fox’s advi-
ce: there was no time to lose, they had to open the henhouse and run for shelter
in the cave. It would be nice to tell a happy ending, but this story does not have
a happy ending. In fact, all the inhabitants of the henhouse, following the signals
given by the fox, ran back to the cave. There they were eaten and the fox was
forever grateful to psychology.
One by one, the farm animals are convinced of what Chicken Little says: but while
some of them actually believe the story, others believe it simply because others
believe it! In other words, they have simply ‘joined the bandwagon’. In the end,
the animals meet their fate, because the fox sees these animals panicking and
lures them into his den!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=AILy4KHBIEE&embeds_
euri=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.filmgarantiti.it%2F&sour-
ce_ve_path=MjM4NTE&feature=emb_titl e
*
follow the
instructions
on page 182
to select subtitles
in your preferred
language
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08. Compass
technique
This diagram basically tells you that whenever you find yourself making an im-
portant decision, you should use it.
• Five simple questions are asked.
• Choose one of 6 possible action alternatives.
• Let us look in detail at the questions and courses of action.
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09. The ethical dilemma
Imagine that you are an employee of a large company.
You have a colleague called Anna,
who works in the same department.
Anna is a single mother with two small children.
You have recently discovered that Anna is committing
fraud on the company expense reports.
It is clear that she is trying to pass off some personal
expenses as business expenses in order
to get a higher refund and alleviate her difficult
financial situation and support her family.
After discovering Anna’s actions, you have spent
a few days pondering your options.
You know that this is a delicate situation with
significant implications for Anna,
your company and your conscience…
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10. Diary pages of
a few youngsters
Dear Diary,
D ecwooaeabpittrnwrtahehleheutiDtfehrele,nIotnietipyneeovrrahdfuussiefrecnr ele.mpiptoeywnrhghcIer,pafiynotiihianadotndrloeahtsgkomgesttvttepdawtheueytytphilohepnrhkaeteo ayyeiobooiopmrarrynaioepnibhgclnyroudil,houoevseirtooebturueumn,wtntvotlsapoodteaa,yhwthea thtnlrffahernharyawelyitieyiodyelevoelctlprrenpnotshwlberlhosdeoooeadite,ar,n,mhbifloawcnoibtmw elskeeeerwuimethetgotmopthyiierrtm,tteoIahekshthfeouhrteeebeteviitpeemeshehsemhdlrnpaele etnapiiadtaoeinrqorcakfksrvmtarurrhltieeiuntenoamiveaetegdonteiyhpnstihltdals.iertyhat‘y.iet IpymwttaaoI’mchseavcwtiiapaotshtmeseahmeaonepoiumssolyrllclasy.tuoeurbfiaelaee’otpstt,enh hftrotpwlaerytmeoiesren.rrhref,rTp,eysbooisotn.hefaruaspefgIoalelkeytrrdlrphoirewdotveeiio lobsinuesacifccutlgrot,,nteoohgiowrytfmmtmnohuouopthsstsusotfesouiteo.ndaohro,rtrIhgwG erenromnteyad,r.sohietpiesoenAtnhtodostnonnecbipram’twaadouteerpcuecneiebeolnoIhoestdsapebogaonenaekllurisidegtmaetreelispbrlvntwibintsieeelntnamye,hhsoonbobtot,aetphtde-huobn’laatejteetiutrfe,,-esrt
bmrhesestoybigwchoajhpuebrhiiTbnonseaemceooslrtvtaeheolduIspedpuanliatmi:otrssonnyoieirveotganefmverIndwIveaeiornaewevaiytgavldokreemresaadeweerdrrnaiegchta,famtasfgioailrrisnnwtcerdyfopioeoouadsaoopdtrnlltyrtbetletcaoed.yshsn.chflt.deoektdaeihoasWrrfidemiriftcrtcofiomr!aholgi)eynecisehdLyegsuaccnwtaoo:lhonhmttpuiIIfoedottcaohomolhihahyctarolahbaaoeesbaIuvvoisksowhocteeeu.icvearanhitFhtelavsdglaobooaleiabviwletrfoymilhsfercnla,lmeaeecaIatgywrtrohueeskwhhihtmou,esnehobreusectorepeaershcgneIeselsmohdaygpgntmtooiercoeaondseicahyvccrieilnnieneiiaesacavvggglisimaeeullotse.mhnrp.mntif.bnoyoid,otvIaignepotiiermhentiaiseaocddodnyicnno:ssoepeshmdrsceaaeceosphlftryilofoostwhusos-shli,rcpetievaocwattotneoliyhfehtfnnhns,hrr!teggfeoeatoiiCviagdrwfsrgyeduenhlhero,tireteeonhnmyuubsctoogeccrrtuidyussieedhntyyiies!elfnooepgidfltgaoifuaoreecienltrtrnrush.ossvwda.pl.maeatrgtii(Islyitthlofflyheuoewepaiohbcrndltaiuiktwylht!mglseo,itIilha-ssyeayt,Is
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11. Biblical figure:
Abishai
Most great leaders struggle with a few followers who try too hard. For David,
Abishai was that kind of follower. His fanatical loyalty to David had to be con-
trolled to prevent it from becoming destructive. He was very willing to go to the
defence of his leader. David never repressed Abishai’s courageous loyalty. On
the contrary, he patiently tried to direct this powerful energy. This approach,
although not entirely successful, saved David’s life on at least one occasion.
However, on at least three occasions, Abishai would have killed for the king if
David had not stopped him.
Abishai was an excellent soldier, but he was better at taking orders than gi-
ving them. When carrying out David’s orders, Abishai was usually under the
command of his younger brother Joab. The two brothers helped each other in
handling great military challenges and embarrassing acts of violence. Abishai
helped Joab to assassinate Abner and Amasa. When he was an effective leader,
he led by example. But too often he did not think before he acted.
Abishai’s admirable qualities of loyalty and courage must challenge us, but we
must also avoid his tendency to act without thinking. It is not enough to be
strong and effective, we must have the self-control and wisdom that only God
can give us. We must follow and obey with heart and mind.
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L’amore conta
12 . (Love matters)
by Luciano Ligabue
You and I have seen some of them, lived some
And we got it right, the term together
As the sun behind slowly goes down
And that sun you wish wasn’t you
And so you started smoking again, you’re busy
It went as it should, as it could
How many crumbs remain behind us
Either we toast ours or we toast whoever you want
Love matters
Love matters
Do you know another way to cheat death?
No one ever says whether sooner or later
And maybe some god hasn’t finished with us
Love matters
You and I take your cravings off
Each his mistakes
It’s a shame for those promises
Honest but big
You choose to do it a little bit in company
This journey where you don’t go back from the street
Love matters
Love matters
And count the years to those who have never been ready
No one ever says it’s easy
And maybe some god didn’t end up with you
Thank you for your full time
Thank you for your truest
Thank you for your tight teeth
The flaws
For the barrels of joy
For our imagination
Love matters
Love matters
As far as you pull you know the blanket is short
No one ever says it’s easy
And maybe some god didn’t end up with you
Love matters
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13. Map of emotions
and feelings
When
I see my
best friend
Feelings /
emotions
joy
What I
think / do
I decide to go
out with him
Colour
orange
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14 . Guided meditation
with background music
Once upon a time, in a small village, there was a young shepherd named Luca.
Luca was known for his great calm and wisdom, which seemed to be unshaken
even by the most difficult situations. The people of the village always asked
Luca about his secret, and he always replied: “Calmness, awareness of yourself
and your emotions.”
One day, a village elder decided to ask Luca to share his secret with everyone.
Luca smiled kindly and accepted. He gathered the villagers under a large, an-
cient tree.
“Self-control,” Luca began, “starts with the awareness of our emotions. Often,
when we experience intense emotions such as anger or sadness, we get
overwhelmed by them.”
He paused and pointed to a small lake nearby. “Imagine that your emotions are
like the surface of this lake. When there is a storm, the waves can become high
and violent.”
Luke took a small boat and brought it to the middle of the lake. “Self-control
is like this boat. If you want to master your emotions, you have to get onto this
boat and watch the waves from above.”
So, Luke climbed into the boat and sat in silence as the waves churned around
him. He did not try to stop them or change them, but simply observed them
calmly.
“Moods pass like waves,” Luca said. “When you observe them without judge-
ment and without reacting impulsively, you find that they eventually calm down
on their own.”
The villagers listened attentively to Luke’s words and understood the power
of emotional awareness. From that day on, they began to practise the “boat”
exercise to master their emotions.
Over time, the village became a place of greater understanding and harmony,
all thanks to a young shepherd who shared his secret.
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15 . Guided meditation
with background music
1. As soon as you are calm, sure that you will not be interrupted, lie down.
Let your eyes close softly, and let your arms lie beside your body, your feet fall, one on one side
and one on the other, and slowly draw your attention
2. Now draw your attention to your feet, become aware of any sensation you perceive there.
If you do not feel anything, simply record that sensation.
As you inhale, imagine your breath entering your body and reaching your feet, when you get the-
re start to exhale and let the breath go through your whole body and out through your nose. In
this way you are inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your feet. When you are ready,
let your feet dissolve from your mind.
Now become aware of your shins and calf muscles and sensations in your lower legs, not just
on the surface, but down to your bones, experiencing and accepting what you feel here and
breathing into it, then breathing out of it. Then let go of your lower legs as you relax on the mat.
And down to your thighs, if there is any tension; just notice this feeling. Inhale and exhale in and
out of your thighs. Then let the thighs dissolve and relax. Now shift your attention to the pelvis.
From one hip to the other. Notice your buttocks in contact with the bed or mat and the sensa-
tions of contact and weight. Become aware of the genital region and any sensations or lack of
sensations you are experiencing. Direct your breath towards your pelvis, breathing with your
entire pelvis. And as you exhale move your breath upwards through your body and nose, let your
pelvis soften and release any tension as you sink further into a state of relaxed awareness and
stillness. Remain totally present in each moment, content to be and just be here as you are now.
Now direct your attention to your lower back and experience your back as it is. On the inhale let
your breath enter and move through every part of your lower back, and on the exhale let any
tension, any stiffness, anything restraining the flow go out along with the breath as you exhale
and then let go of your lower back.
Go up into the upper back, feeling the sensations in this part of the body. You can also feel your
ribcage, both in the back and in the front, expand your breath and feel any stiffness, fatigue or
discomfort in this part of your body, letting them melt away and exhale with your breath as you
let go and sink further into stillness and relaxation. Shift your attention back to your belly and
experience your belly rising and falling as you breathe in, place your attention on your chest as
it expands on the inhale and deflates on the exhale. If you can, tune into the rhythmic beating of
your heart inside your chest, feeling it if you can. Experience your chest, your belly, the muscles
on your chest wall, your breasts, the whole front part of your body. And now let this region also
dissolve into relaxation.
Shift your attention to the fingertips of both hands together, becoming aware of the sensations
now in your fingertips and thumbs, where you can feel some pulsation due to blood flow, moi-
sture, heat or whatever you feel. Just feel your fingers and expand your awareness to include
your palms and the backs of your hands and wrists. Also become aware of your forearms and
elbows and all sensations, regardless of what they are.
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Allow the field of your awareness to now include your arms up to your shoulders.
Experiment with your shoulders and if there is tension, breathe into your shoulders and arms,
letting the tension dissolve as you breathe. Let go of the tension and let go of your arms from
your fingertips to your shoulders. As you sink further into a state of relaxed awareness, just be
present in each moment, letting go of any thoughts or any impulses to move and simply expe-
riencing yourself in the moment.
And now focus your attention on your neck and throat and feel this part of your body, experien-
cing how it feels perhaps when you swallow and when you breathe. And then let it go, let it relax
and melt into your mind’s eye. Become aware of your face now. Focus on your jaw and chin,
experiencing them as they are.
Become aware of your lips and mouth. Become aware of your cheeks now ... your nose, feeling
your breath as it moves in and out of your nostrils. Become aware of your eyes and the whole
region around your eyes and eyelids. If there is any tension, let it out by exhaling. And now the
forehead, let it relax to let go of the stored emotions. And the temples. And if you feel any emo-
tions associated with the tension or feelings in your face, just be aware of them. Breathe in and
let the face dissolve into relaxation and stillness. And now become aware of the ears, and the
top and back of the head. Now let the whole face and head relax. For now, let it be as it is. Let it
be still and neutral. Relaxed and at peace.
Now let your breath move through your whole body in whatever way feels natural to you. All
your muscles in a deep state of relaxation. And your mind simply aware of this energy, this flow
of breath. Experience the breathing of your whole body. Sink deeper and deeper into a state of
stillness and deep relaxation. Allow yourself to feel whole. In touch with your essential self in a
realm of silence, stillness, peace.
Observe that this stillness is healing in itself, allow the world to be as it is, beyond personal fears
and worries. Beyond your mind’s direction of wanting everything to be a certain way. Seeing
yourself as complete in this moment as you are. As totally present in this moment. 3rd step: At
the end of the exercise, bring your awareness back to your body, feeling it all. We recommend
moving your toes and fingers. Let this calmness and focus remain with you as you move. Com-
pliment yourself for taking the time to nurture yourself in this way. And remember that this state
of relaxation and clarity is accessible to you simply by paying attention to your breathing at any
time, no matter what is happening in your day. Let your breath be a constant source of strength
and energy for you.
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Marco:
16. the captain of his
body and mind
Once there was a young man named Marco who often felt overwhelmed by si-
tuations and emotions. He had the impression that external events and people’s
reactions determined his mood and happiness. He often let himself be overwhel-
med by anxiety, anger or sadness without knowing how to handle them.
One day, Marco decided it was time to take control of his life and develop gre-
ater self-mastery. He began to explore different practices that could help him
on his path.
One of the first things Marco discovered was meditation. Every morning, he
would sit in silence for a few minutes, focusing his attention on his breathing
and letting go of the thoughts that crowded his mind. Meditation allowed him to
develop a greater awareness of himself and his emotions. He learned to obser-
ve them without judgement and to let them flow without repressing or reacting
impulsively.
Marco realised that self-mastery also required awareness of his body. He began
practising yoga, which allowed him to connect with his body and experience a
feeling of balance and inner calm. Through asanas (yoga postures) and con-
scious breathing, Marco learned to manage stress and release physical tension.
But self-mastery was not only about the individual, but also about relationships
with others. Marco realised that he had to learn how to communicate asserti-
vely and set healthy boundaries. He began practising the art of active listening,
giving space to others and trying to understand their perspectives without let-
ting his emotions overwhelm him. He learned to say “no” when necessary and
to defend his needs and values in a respectful manner.
As time went by, Marco noticed significant changes in his life. He felt more sere-
ne and confident. Difficult situations no longer overwhelmed him as before. He
had learnt to manage his emotions and to make conscious decisions instead of
reacting impulsively.
Self-mastery became an essential part of Marco’s life. He continued to cultivate
the practices he had learnt and explore new ways to develop a greater aware-
ness of himself and others.
Every day, Marco woke up with the determination to live fully and be the captain
of his ship. Despite the challenges that life presented him, he knew that true sel-
f-mastery lay in his ability to respond consciously rather than react impulsively.
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17. Biblical figure:
Priscilla and Aquila
Some couples know how to get the most out of their lives. They complement
each other, take advantage of each other’s strengths and form an effective
team. Their joint efforts have an impact on the people around them. Aquila and
Priscilla were this kind of a couple. In the Bible, they are never mentioned sepa-
rately. In marriage and in their ministry they were always together.
Priscilla and Aquila met Paul in Corinth, while the apostle was on his second
missionary journey. They had just been expelled from Rome because of Empe-
ror Claudius’ decree against the Jews. Their house was as mobile as the tents
they had built to support themselves. They opened their home to Paul, who
worked with them to build the tents. Paul opened his heart to them, teaching
them his wealth of spiritual wisdom.
Priscilla and Aquila made the most of their spiritual training. They listened ca-
refully to the sermons and appreciated them. When they heard Apollo speak,
they were impressed by his oratorical skills, but concluded that the content of
his message was not complete. Rather than have an open confrontation, they
invited Apollo privately to their home and instructed him on what he needed to
know. Up to that point, Apollo knew what John the Baptist had said in his mes-
sage about Christ. Priscilla and Aquila told him about the life of Jesus, his death
and resurrection, and the reality of God’s presence in the Holy Spirit. Apollo
continued to preach with power.
Priscilla and Aquila continued to use their home as a pleasant place of prepara-
tion and worship. In Rome, many years later, they sponsored one of the house
churches that developed.
At a time when the focus is mainly on what happens between a husband and
wife, Aquila and Priscilla are an example of what can happen between a hu-
sband and wife. Their effective unity speaks of their relationship with each
other. Their hospitality opened the door of salvation to many. The Christian
home is still one of the best tools for spreading the Gospel. Do your guests find
Christ in your home?
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A father tells
18. his daughter what
emotions are
www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UqBtN094nI
The video shows excerpts from the text by Giovanni Ariano:
Diventare uomo 2. Antropologia della psicoterapia d’integrazione strutturale,
Armando Editore. pp. 209 - 226
19. How do I feel?
* follow the instructions on page 182 to select subtitles in your preferred language.
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20. Emotion management
worksheet
A
CONTEXT
Where am I?
B
EMOTION
What am I
feeling?
What did I
feel?
C
THOUGHT
What was
I thinking
about?
E
F
ACTION
What did I do
next?
NEUTRALIZE
What
irrational idea
lies beneath?
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21. Charter of emotional
rights
01.
02.
03.
04.
05.
06.
07.
These are the rights we want to guarantee
to every child, boy, girl, adult...
to every person!
EMOTIONS ARE NEITHER POSITIVE NOR NEGATIVE,
THEY EXIST!
Every emotion is a message, it tells us something important
and we need it for something...
EMOTION IS NOT THE BEHAVIOUR:
emotion is ALWAYS OK, behaviour can be sanctioned.
EVERYONE HAS THE RIGHT TO CRY,
TO BE SILENT AND TO BE ALONE
GETTING ANGRY IS NATURAL,
the important thing is to respect others, take care of yourself and respect things.
EVERYONE HAS THE RIGHT TO SMILE OR LAUGH
AT LEAST FIVE TIMES A DAY.
EVERYONE HAS THE RIGHT TO FEEL ANGRY, SAD, SCARED,
DISGUSTED, IN LOVE, HAPPY, ENTHUSIASTIC, PROUD;
respecting things, people, places and feelings that are different from their own.
EVERYONE HAS THE RIGHT TO BE LISTENED TO WITHOUT BEING
JUDGED, to ask for advice... not to follow it and to refuse it if they have not asked
for it.
REMEMBER
LtWiooWsNuwteW‘egeotecneeocoatimfrnannhylglaeoelhoyvdleceupexaooltppfen(rorwesmotfqhr:hmniuaopeeoeysnnhutsecynsmtIeis’wo.of!ieteec!nha!elma!ointlklhoaleaeoet.lnxivloBeopednmwu)resetoo,mustutwhssitooi,ehntonayiigfoscnagnhodorranefamwleotnp’aeisttehayucioeitdaanphrenrs,iein,nosrooioeuorruittnugptfo.hnorofoterfjvcxnoaeepoyn,etraghocnweetuyrerm,toodoonnlwuyfegtwra.o.on.on.fndtgshda.weedhyrn,iecexhsiss.t.!.
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21. The values of life
Deep down inside you, what is important to you?
What do you want your life to be for you?
What kind of qualities do you want to develop as a person?
How do you want to be in relationships with others?
Values are our heart’s deepest desires about how we want to interact and relate
with the world around us, with other people and with ourselves. They are the gui-
ding principles that can guide and motivate us as we make our way through life.
Values and goals are two different things.
Values are the directions in which we keep moving, while goals are what we wish
to achieve along the way. A value is like going east; a goal is like the mountain or
river we want to cross as we travel in that direction. Goals can be reached and
crossed off the list, while values are an ongoing process. For example, if you want
to be an affectionate and caring partner, that is a value, an ongoing process. If you
stop being loving and caring, you are no longer a loving and caring partner; you
are no longer leading your life in light of that value. On the other hand, if you want
to get married, that is a goal: it can be achieved and crossed off the list. Once you
are married, you are married, even if you start treating your partner very badly.
Wanting a better job is a goal. Once you have it, the goal is achieved. But wanting
to do your best at work is a value, an ongoing process.
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22. Assessment
of life values
Field of
application
Couple /
intimate
relationships /
marriage
Value Assessment Form
Direction that
appreciates
What
importance
do I give them?
How much
have I
managed to
live up to this
value in the
past month?
write a short
summary, in
one or two
sentences, or a
few key words
0 > not very
important
10 > very
important
0 > not at all
10 > very much
Priorities
order from
highest to
lowest
Parenting
Friends /
social life
Job
Education /
training
Leisure /
entertainment
Spirituality
Civic involve-
ment /
community life
Self-care /
physical
well-being
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23. The bull’s eye
work / study
free time
personal
growth /
health
I live fully
according
to my values
I am not
in touch with
my values
relationships
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24. Biblical figure:
Mary
Motherhood is a painful privilege. The young Mary had the uni-
que privilege of being the mother of the Son of God himself.
However, the pains and pleasures of her motherhood are un-
derstood by any mother. Mary was the only human being pre-
sent at Jesus’ birth and she also witnessed his death. She saw
him be born as her son and saw him die as her Saviour.
Until Gabriel’s surprise visit, Mary’s life was going as well as she
could have hoped. She had recently become engaged to a local
carpenter, Joseph, and was looking forward to marriage. Howe-
ver, Mary’s life was going to change forever.
Angels do not usually make appointments before their visit. As
if they were congratulating her as the winner of a competition in
which she had never participated. Mary found the angel’s gree-
ting intriguing and his presence annoying. What she immedia-
tely heard was the news that almost every woman in Israel had
expected to hear: her son would be the Messiah, the promised
Saviour. Mary did not doubt the message, but asked how the
conception would be possible. Gabriel answered that the child
would be the Son of God. Her answer was the one God expects,
but does not receive from many: “Behold, I am the handmaid
of the Lord; let it be to me according to thy word” (Luke 1:38).
Afterwards, her song of joy to Elizabeth shows how well she
knew God, her thoughts were filled with words from the Old
Testament.
A few weeks after his birth, Jesus was taken to the temple to be
consecrated to God. There Joseph and Mary met two prophets,
Simeon and Anna, who recognised the child as the Messiah and
praised God. Simeon addressed some words to Mary that she
may have recalled several times in later years: “A sword will
pierce your soul” (Luke 2:35). Much of the painful privilege of
her motherhood would be to see her Son rejected and crucified
by the people he had come to save.
We can imagine that even if she had known what she would
have suffered to be the mother of Jesus, she would have re-
acted in the same way.
Are you willing, like Mary, to be used by God?
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25. New story
“At the beginning of last summer, a serious
news event shocked the world. A gunman
entered a crowded cinema in the United
States and opened fire, killing and injuring
a large number of spectators. The audience
that day consisted mainly of young people
and families with children. The news bro-
adcast several interviews with the people
present. One thing common to all of them
was that they were shocked. The feeling that
emerged over all was fear, still present in the
eyes of the men and women, fathers and
mothers, young people and children inter-
viewed.
But among the people in that cinema there
was one person who did not seem to have
been the least bit affected by what had
happened. She did not cry, did not
show any fear, but on the contrary
appeared serene as if nothing had
happened.
It was a child who could
not have been more than
one or two years old, asleep
in the arms of his crying
young father”.
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26. First of
all man
Poem “First of all man ”
Nazim Hikmet
Do not live on this earth as a foreigner
or as a tourist in nature.
Live in this world
as in your father’s house:
believe in wheat, the earth, the sea
but first of all you believe humans.
He loves the clouds, machines, books
but first of all he loves the man.
Feel the sadness of that branch dry
of the star that turns off
groaning wounded animal
but first of all
feel the sadness and sorrow of man.
You give joy all the goods of the earth
the shadow and the light will give joy
the four seasons give you joy
but above all, with both hands
give you joy the man!
Nazim Hikmet (1901 - 1963)
was a Turkish poet and writer,
naturalized Polish and is considered
one of the most important Turkish
poets of modern times.
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Profumo
27. ( Perfume)
by Max Pezzali
Although the fog has an unmistakable smell
Mixture of burnt wood and wet leaves
It tastes a little autumn and turbid sailing
Knows a little you School and cold in the stomach
It smells like my city, it smells like university
It smells like morning, it smells like late sleep.
It smells like soot and it smells a bit like me
what I am and what I have been
There is a scent that passes and goes
It seems to move away but then will return
There is a scent that with its wake
Sticks to the memory and won’t go away
I remember the first time I arrived in New York
I was immediately struck by its intense smell
Of every kind of fried food imaginable
Of every kind of food imaginable
And of cafeteria
Of iron and railway
That from the subway rises and slides into the street
Boutique aromas
Of dirt and liquids
The scorching smell of the changing world
There is some perfume that passes and goes
He seems to be moving away but will return
Is there any perfume that with its wake
It sticks to the memory and won’t go away
There is a scent that passes and goes
It seems to move away but then will return
There is a scent that with its wake
Sticks to the memory and won’t go away
And the sofa that smells like soft leather
Like pizza by the slice in the living room and complicity
Vanilla candles and films on TV
And those products you always spray around
Recognisable
Indescribable
It does not resemble a precise thing
It is there in every room and
It makes me feel that
My perfume is the scent of home
There is a scent that passes and goes
It seems to move away but then will return
There is a scent that with its wake
Sticks to the memory and won’t go away
There is a scent that passes and goes
It seems to move away but then will return
There is a scent that with its wake
Sticks to the memory and won’t go away
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Pass the favour
28. from the film
“A Dream for Tomorrow”
www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYc5v8_VAZs
(italian)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=B5UZ_9husMo
(english)
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* follow the instructions on page 182
to select subtitles
in your preferred language
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Benvenuto
29. (Welcome)
by Laura Pausini
To you who lose the way to home but go
Where your feet take you and you know
That you’re free
In your soaked shoes
To those who have mean words only because
They have not been able to make peace with themselves
To those who beg
And then forget about it
To those who don’t have a secret to whisper
But a lie to reveal
To those who don’t ask for forgiveness but will have it.
Welocome to a cry that (emotionally) moves
To a sky that promises snow
Welcome to those who smile and issue a challenge
To those who exchange their advises with yours
Welcome to a train that goes towards the sea
And which arrives on time for Christmas
Welcome to an artist, to his passion
Welcome to those who will never change
To a year of us.
To this moon that fulfils or gives dreams
Or hides them in oppurtunities
To those who slip
To those who do make-up in the car
And may this long winter be welcome
If it helps us to grow
To those who have courage and to those
who don’t have it yet
Welocome to a cry that (emotionally) moves
To a sky that promises snow
Welcome to those who undress, for job or for desire
And to those who ask stars for help or mercy
Welcome to doubts of the brides
To a minute full of suprises
Welcome to a musican, to his song
And to the chords that become mine
To a year of us
To everything else that will come (stop stop stop) and all
the rest of it
To all what will come (stop stop stop) all that
To all the rest and then who knows (stop stop stop) all the
rest
And then
Stop
Welocome to a cry that (emotionally) moves
To a sky that promises snow
Welcome to those who smile and issue a challenge
To those who exchange their advises with yours
Welcome to a train going towards the sea
It shines and arrives on time for Christmas
Welcome to an artist, to his intuition
Welcome to a new year for us
To a year of us
A year for us
For everyone and for us
A year of us
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30. Are you capable
of welcoming?
1. Addicts are young people who:
a. do not understand anything;
b. have problems;
c. do not feel like doing anything;
d. are unable to ask for help;
e. must be punished;
f. do not deserve consideration;
g. don’t give a damn about others;
h. can get out of drug slavery.
2. Street hawkers are people who:
a. do not want to work;
b. take jobs away from Italians;
c. are in a difficult situation;
d. live in misery in their country;
e. should be removed;
f. could be ‘regularised’;
g. always cheat;
h. try to survive.
3. The elderly are people who:
a. have already lived their lives;
b. prevent their children from living their lives;
c. still have many resources;
d. choose to go to old age homes because
their family does not want;
e. should always be placed in old age homes;
f. do not produce and are in the way;
g. have the right to live their whole life;
h. could be helped to live in solitude.
4. Disabled people are people who:
a. are not considered persons;
b. do not understand, because they are not important;
c. can find their place in society;
d. have rights that must be protected;
e. yield little, so it is better not to hire them;
f. can improve with the appropriate work;
g. know how to be responsible;
h. are a burden on the healthy
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31. Biblical figure:
Saul
First impressions can be misleading, especially when the image created by a
person’s appearance is contradicted by his qualities and abilities. Saul was the
ideal visual image of a king, but his character tendencies were often contrary
to God’s commands for a king. Saul was God’s chosen leader, but this did not
mean that he was capable of being king on his own.
During his reign and when he obeyed God, Saul had great achievements. His
great failures occurred when he acted alone. Saul had the raw materials to be a
good leader: vision, courage and action. Even his weaknesses could have been
used by God if Saul had recognised them and placed them in God’s hands. His
decisions separated him from God and eventually also separated him from his
people.
From Saul we can learn that while our strengths and abilities make us useful,
it is our weaknesses that make us usable. Our skills and talents make us tools,
but our failures and setbacks remind us that we need a craftsman to control
our lives. Whatever we can do on our own is only a hint of what God might do
through our lives.
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32. Il giardino dei confini
(The Garden of Boundaries)
Find a quiet place, preferably outdoors, where you can be alone
and without distractions.
Meditation guidelines:
1. Imagine you are inside a garden.
This garden represents your life and your freedom. Observe the trees,
flowers, and vegetation around you. This space represents your personal
sphere of action and possibilities.
2. Take a walk around the garden and take the time to observe the boun-
daries around it.
You may notice fences, walls, or trees delimiting the garden area. These
boundaries represent the rules, responsibilities and limitations in your life.
3. Reflect on the meaning of boundaries and limits.
Think of them as the elements that protect and guide us, as well as allow
us to establish priorities and values in our lives.
4. Take a moment to meditate on how boundaries and limitations can
affect your freedom.
Ask yourself whether you feel limited by these restrictions or whether, on
the contrary, they allow you to live a more balanced and meaningful life.
5. Now, imagine you are outside the garden, in an open space with no
boundaries.
This represents the concept of total freedom. Ask yourself how you feel in
this place without boundaries, whether you feel safer or realise the need
for boundaries to guide and protect you.
6. Go back to the garden and take note of what you have learnt during
this exercise.
What did you discover about your relationship between boundaries and
freedom? Are there aspects of your life where you feel you need to set new
boundaries or expand your sphere of freedom?
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33. Il paese dei balocchi
(Toyland)
by Pooh
In Toyland
If you like freedom
In Toyland
Every day there is something new
There is everything, everything and more
In the biggest party there is
You can find everything
Day and night singing and dancing
You never go to bed
Pizza and Coke, nothing to study
There’s only one school and you don’t know
where it is
There are no teachers or caretakers to
hover over you
Even the dogs are all prettier
And they all have a bone
Then if you don’t feel like brushing your teeth
there’s no one here to stress you out
In Toyland
Every day is something new
You won’t believe your eyes
If you like freedom
Hurry up, drop everything and jump in
There is everything, but everything and
more
Whoever manages to eat the most ice
cream
Get ten out of ten
You can watch even the most forbidden
films
With naked women
Music blasting at full volume
Chewing gum as long as you like
In Toyland
If you get there you’ll never leave
Walls full of scribbles
No history or geography
Hurry up, drop everything and jump in
There’s everything, everything and more
In Toyland
If you like freedom
In Toyland
Every day something new
(There’s everything, just everything if
you like)
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34. The butterfly
and the cage
Once upon a time there was a little butterfly named Aurora. She was fascinated by the world
around her and wanted to explore every corner of the forest in which she lived. Every day, she
would flutter among the flowers and dance with the wind, enjoying her limitless freedom.
One day, while flying near the edge of the forest, Aurora noticed a silver cage hanging from a
branch. Inside the cage was a songbird named Leo. His melody was sad and weeping, and Auro-
ra approached to see what was wrong.
“Why are you inside this cage, little bird?” asked Aurora with concern.
Leo replied with a sigh: “I was captured by a hunter and imprisoned here. They took my freedom
to fly and sing freely.”
Aurora felt sad for Leo and decided to help him. However, Leo warned her of the dangers of le-
aving the boundaries of the forest. “Freedom can be dangerous, dear butterfly. The forest is my
safe world, and outside of it, there are many dangers I do not know.”
Despite Leo’s warning, Aurora could not remain indifferent. She wanted to help the little bird
regain its freedom. So, she decided to look for a solution. She flew around the forest, asking the
other animals for help.
She met Sabina, a wise owl, who advised her: “Freedom is precious, but limits protect us from
unknown dangers. If you want to help Leo, you must find a way to do so without risking his safety.”
Aurora realised that she had to respect both Leo’s freedom and the boundaries of the forest. She
decided to ask for help from all the animals in the forest to build a secret tunnel leading outside
the cage. This way, Leo could be free to explore the world without leaving the safety of the forest.
After days of hard work, the tunnel was completed. Leo emerged from his cage and, with great
joy, flew outside the boundaries of the forest for the first time. However, he had a feeling of grati-
tude towards the forest and its rules which had protected him during his imprisonment.
From that day on, Aurora and Leo became great friends.
Every now and then, Leo would take his flight of exploration out of the forest, but always with the
knowledge that he would return to his safe world.
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35. Worksheet on difficult
communications
Write down on this sheet the difficult or stressful communication moment you experienced. Try to answer
questions about your experience as best as you can after you have experienced it.
36. Biblical figure:
Sarah
Perhaps there is nothing more difficult than waiting, whether we are waiting for
something good, bad or unknown.
One of the ways in which we sometimes face a long (or even short) wait is when
we begin to help God put His plan into action. Sara tried to do this. She was too
old to believe she could have a child of her own, so she thought God had so-
mething else in mind. From Sarah’s limited point of view, this could only happen
by giving Abraham a son through another woman, a custom that was common
in those days. The plan seemed completely harmless. Abraham would sleep
with Sarah’s slave to conceive a child. Sarah would take the child as her own.
The plan unfolded beautifully at first. But reading what happened later, we are
amazed at how many times Sarah regretted the day she decided to hasten
God’s plan.
Another way we deal with a long wait is when we gradually conclude that what
we are waiting for will never happen. Sara waited ninety years for a child! When
God finally told her that she would have a child of her own, she laughed, not so
much for her lack of faith in what God could do, but for the doubt of what He
could do through her. When she was rebuked for her laughter, she lied as she
had seen her husband do on a few occasions. She probably did not want to
make her true feelings known.
What situations in your life seem to be ‘on hold’ at the moment?
Could they be part of God’s plan for you?
The Bible contains many clear instructions to keep us busy while we are waiting
for something special to happen in our lives.
Downloadable PDF from:
https://interessere.info/io-lo-chiedo-amnesty-international/ by typing in the password: amnesty2020
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37. Identikit of a hoax:
how to unmask it?
It is possible to present young people with a quick guide to recognising fake news (and di-
spelling it), although it is important to make it clear that this list should not be taken as a kind
of reference manual to be applied mechanically and uncritically, because it is always appro-
priate to assess circumstances on a case-by-case basis.
1. A hoax often comes from unserious and unreliable sources, such as newspapers with
unknown names or partially imitating the name of well-known and important magazines
and newspapers. Professional editorial offices, while not immune to hoaxes, usually verify
news before publishing it.
2. Are any of the people mentioned really experts in the subject matter being discussed?
Even an authoritative figure, even a Nobel Prize winner, can make mistakes if he steps
outside his field.
3. Is the news communicated in a sensational style or presented as an alternative truth ‘that
nobody wants to know about’ or, again, as an easy and quick solution to a complex pro-
blem? It is most likely a hoax.
4. Are the most well-known anti-hoax sites already talking about it and denying it? The hoax
is full-blown.
5. Does the message spread hatred or hostility against a category of people or does it single
out an alleged enemy by making him a scapegoat? This is an extremely dangerous mecha-
nism that is usually accompanied by the spread of fake news.
6. Is serious evidence cited in support of the reported theses, or is everything vague despite
the triumphalist tone? If the latter is the case, suspicion is in order.
7. Is the statement so paradoxical that it seems absurd? It could be a joke: check if it comes
from newspapers whose purpose is precisely to publish ironic or parodic news.
Difference
38. between online
scams and phishing
The difference between an online scam and a phishing attempt is as follows:
ONLINE SCAM
An online scam is a deceptive action aimed at defrauding a person or organisa-
tion, without specifying the method used. It can include various types of decep-
tion, such as overly advantageous offers, sales of fake products or non-existent
services, deceptive requests for financial help, and more. An online scam can
take place through email, social media, websites, apps or other digital platforms.
PHISHING ATTEMPT
Phishing is a specific type of online scam in which a scammer sends misleading
messages or emails that appear to come from trusted sources, such as banks,
financial institutions or online services. The purpose of phishing is to trick peo-
ple into providing personal information, such as usernames, passwords, credit
card numbers or other sensitive information. Links in phishing messages can
direct victims to fake websites that try to steal their credentials or financial in-
formation.
In summary, a phishing attempt is a sub-type of online scam involving misle-
ading messages and fake websites to obtain sensitive information, whereas an
online scam can include a wide range of fraud without being limited specifically
to phishing.
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Educating to speech in
39. the digital age: a new and
complex challenge
They have grown up on bread and tablets and have developed a new way of living, com-
municating and dealing with feelings compared to the past. They are the Generation Z kids,
also known as Zedders, born between 1995 and 2010. Protagonists of a different genera-
tion gap, they were the first in human history to have access to the Internet from birth.
GenZ’s consider surfing the Web an integral part of their daily lives and perceive digital
devices almost as an extension of their bodies. More than for anyone else, media therefore
constitute a strongly structural identity element of their daily lives.
Becoming aware that cross-media, i.e. the possibility of interaction between media, has
made the digital environment a true existential dimension is a necessary first step to re-
cognising and analysing the new frontiers of hate communication, frontiers that our young
people cross with a worrying frequency and often without realising it.
HATE SPEECH, CYBERBULLYING AND ZOOMBOLISM
In the increasingly connected world of social networking and digital communications,
significant challenges emerge related to the abuse of this technology. These include hate
speech, cyberbullying and zoombing, phenomena that challenge freedom of expression,
online safety and the psychological well-being of individuals.
Hate speech is manifested through incitement to hatred, discrimination and the dissemi-
nation of prejudice based on personal characteristics such as race, religion or sexual orien-
tation. This type of communication, often conveyed on social networks, can have serious
consequences, from inciting violence to creating social divisions.
Cyberbullying, on the other hand, is a phenomenon of online harassment and bullying,
with devastating consequences for the victims, who often suffer psychological damage, a
decline in self-esteem and social problems.
Finally, zoombombing is a form of unwanted interruption of online video conferences, which
has highlighted the vulnerability of the security of digital communication platforms.
These issues raise important questions about individual and collective responsibility in the
use of digital technologies, the importance of online safety and the need to promote a cul-
ture of respect and tolerance. In this context, examining the consequences of online hate
speech and abuse is crucial to addressing the challenges of the contemporary digital world.
The consequences of hate speech can be very serious. By definition, man is a social ani-
mal. We have always needed a continuous and unceasing exchange with our fellow human
beings. The majority cannot help but participate in the life of a community, from the smal-
lest, the family unit, to increasingly larger aggregations. Collaboration, loyalty, and solidarity
should be the pillars of every human relationship, yet not everyone is able to relate to others
in a balanced and correct manner. There are indeed people who, for no reason whatsoever,
bully others. They set in motion what Nobel prize winner Toni Morrison called alteration, the
‘process of inventing the other’.
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THE HOUSE OF WORDS: THE IMPORTANCE OF READING
The school is the home of words. It is the place where anyone can expand and consolidate
the alphabet of sociality and affectivity. Above all, however, it is the space within which
something unique also happens. Usually, it is within its perimeter that the most fruitful
encounter with the books we call classics takes place, the immortal works that allow us to
come into contact with the essence of humanity in an intimate and profound way.
Schools can offer an important shelter to hate speech and hate phenomena and help us
to combat them.
Bringing the classics back to the centre of educational activity has in fact a twofold pur-
pose. It gives adolescents a growing number of vocabulary and restores their taste for
reflection. It creates, in other words, a system of counterweights necessary to restore
completeness and compactness to the communicative warp of youth and to remove it
from the yoke of immediacy and semantic vagueness.
By reading, paraphrasing, commenting on and interpreting the works of great authors,
participants are able to understand the value of individual words and return to handling
them with care. Neuroscientific studies on the ‘reading brain’ (Maryanne Wolf) and on
neurons in activity during reading (Stanislas Dehaene) confirm that there is a cause and
effect relationship between ‘the quality of reading and the quality of thinking’. They also
tell us that only deep, slow and thoughtful reading can guarantee the cognitive, intel-
lectual, affective-relational and ethical growth of us human beings.
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Bellissima
40. Beautiful
by Chadia Rodriguez
Pleased to meet you, my name is Woman
I live with flaws and with shame
I’m out in high heels and a short skirt
If I’m too thin or too round
They’ve called me “dried-up” and “whale”
Yelled in my face and whispered to my back
They’ve called me nun, whore, idiot
Without makeup, without nail polish and lotion
I like myself this way
And if I like to do it, I’ll do it this way
After all words are words
And one day they’ll disappear without a sound
With your hair out of place
Without nice clothes on
Even in the dark there’s a light that illuminates you
Because you are beautiful that way
Because you are beautiful that way
There’s always someone waiting for you
And in their eyes you’re perfect
And one day you’ll understand how stupid you were
Because you’re beautiful that way
Because you are beautiful that way
Pleased to meet you, my name is Chadia
I’ve always been a strange girl
I grew up alone in the streets
Without being a thief or a whore
I made a breastplate, a suit of armor
That protects me from the people, from fear
I didn’t have big breasts or height
The hallway at school was torture
They called me “poor one” whistling
In packs but alone, then I’d cry (they’d cry)
And they owe me money and respect
I look at myself puffing out my chest in the mirror
With your hair out of place
Without nice clothes on
Even in the dark there’s a light that illuminates you
Because you are beautiful that way
Because you are beautiful that way
There’s always someone waiting for you
And in their eyes you’re perfect
And one day you’ll understand how stupid you were
Because you’re beautiful that way
Because you are beautiful that way
You only have to look like yourself
Not a queen or a princess
Only those who don’t love you want you different
(Because you are beautiful that way, beautiful that
way)
It’ll be that way forever from the first time
They’ll pay dearly, those who despise pay for it
If they don’t like you in the end it’s not your fault
Because you are beautiful that way
With your hair out of place
Without nice clothes on
Even in the dark there’s a light that illuminates you
Because you are beautiful that way
Because you are beautiful that way
There’s always someone waiting for you
And in their eyes you’re perfect
And one day you’ll understand how stupid you were
Because you’re beautiful that way
Because you are beautiful that way
Beautiful
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Si chiama Gioia
41. It’s called Joy
by Junior Cally
She dances half naked and then she gives it to you
It’s Jeremy
Yes to the delight of mom and dad
She only wears the signed things
He goes out in the evening with a Cabrio car
She doesn’t work but she wants the money
She drinks and then dances on a sofa
Always on vacation, she lives in France
Then she comes over, she says, “Do you smoke
weed?”
I look at the moon but she wants it
To make a living she sold her heart
She says “I’m taking you to Mars”, she talks
about art, she plays the part
She goes to sleep when the sun comes out
She doesn’t care about people
Her, her, her
She dances half naked and then she gives it to you
Her, her, her
Yes, to the delight of mom and dad
Her name is Gioia but she drinks and then
swallows
She dances half naked and then she gives it to you
Her name is Gioia because she is a slut
Yes to the delight of mom and dad
Her name is Gioia but she drinks and then
swallows
She dances half naked and then she gives it to you
Her name is Gioia because she is a slut
Yes to the delight of mom and dad
Now that everyone is talking about me
She wants the Louis Vuitton mask
I dress badly, she the Louboutin
And inside the club she drinks some more
Scallops every evening
She never pays at the restaurant
Drinking Moët with her friends
Paso Adelante, check the likes
She goes away and doesn’t say hello to
anyone
Turns around looks like a show
With the drink in his hand he moves his ass
She seems like a good girl, though
Her, her, her
She dances half naked and then she gives
it to you
Her, her, her
Yes, to the delight of mom and dad
It’s called Gioia but she drinks and then
swallows
She dances half naked and then she gives
it to you
Her name is Gioia because she is a slut
Yes, to the delight of mom and dad
It’s called Gioia but she drinks and then
swallows
She dances half naked and then she gives
it to you
Her name is Gioia because she is a slut
Yes to the delight of mom and dad
It’s called Gioia but she drinks and then
swallows
She dances half naked and then she gives
it to you
Her name is Gioia because she is a slut
Yes to the delight of mom and dad
It’s called Gioia but she drinks and then
swallows
She dances half naked and then she gives
it to you
Her name is Gioia because she is a slut
Yes to the delight of mom and dad
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Gaetano:
42. ordinary stories
of cyberbullying
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUIwW2gpw6c
* follow the instructions on page 182 to select subtitles in your preferred language.
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43. Biblical figure:
Mark
Mistakes are effective teachers. Their consequences have the virtue of making
the lessons painfully clear. But those who learn from their mistakes are candi-
dates for developing wisdom. Mark was a good pupil who only needed time and
encouragement.
Mark wanted to do things right, but had difficulty keeping to the task. In his Go-
spel, Mark mentions a young man (perhaps referring to himself) who ran away
naked and terrified when Jesus was arrested. This tendency to flee reappears
later on, when Paul and Barnabas take him as a helper on their first missionary
journey. During the second stage, Mark leaves them and returns to Jerusalem.
A decision that Paul did not easily accept. In preparation for their second jour-
ney two years later, Barnabas again suggested that Mark go with them as a tra-
velling companion, but Paul adamantly refused. As a result, the team split up.
Barnabas took Mark with him and Paul chose Silas. Barnabas was patient with
Mark and the young man returned his investment. Later, Paul and Mark joined
forces and the elderly apostle became a close friend of the young disciple.
Mark was a valuable companion for three Christian leaders: Barnabas, Paul and
Peter. The material in Mark’s Gospel seems to come mainly from Peter. Mark’s
role as assistant allowed him to be an observer. Over and over again he listened
to Peter tell about his experiences of the years he spent with Jesus and was the
first to write the life of Jesus.
Barnabas played an important role in Mark’s life. He stood by the young man
despite his shortcomings, encouraging him with great patience. Mark challen-
ges us to learn from our mistakes and to appreciate the patience of others. Is
there a Barnabas in your life whom you have to thank for his encouragement?
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44. I bambini fanno oh
(The kids go oh)
by Povia
When the children say “Oh,there’s a little mouse”
While the children say “Oh, there’s a little dog”
If there’s one thing I know now
But that I’ll never see again
It’s a black wolf giving a little kiss
To a little lamb
All the children say “Oh”
give me your hand.
Why do you leave me (all) alone?
You know that alone you can’t
Without someone no one
can become a man.
For a doll or a robot-bot-bot
Perhaps they fight a bit.
But with their little finger, aloud
At least they
Make peace.
In this way everything is new
It’s a surprise
And just when it rains
The children say “Oh!
Look at the rain!”
When the children say “Oh,
What a marvel!
But what an idiot, however,
That I feel a bit ashamed
Because I no longer know how to say “Oh”
And do everything as it takes me
Because the children don’t have hairs
On their stomachs
Nor on their tongues
Children are very indiscreet
But they have many secrets
Like the poets.
In children, imagination flies, along with some lies
Oh, mamma mia, pay attention!
But everything is clear and transparent
so that when an adult cries
The children say “Oh,
You hurt yourself
It’s your fault.
When the children say “Oh,
What a marvel!
But what an idiot, however,
That I feel a bit ashamed
Because I no longer know how to say “Oh”
I no longer know how to go on a swing
I no longer know how to make a necklace out of
a piece of yarn
As long as the cretins say “eh”
As long as the cretins say “ah”
As long as the cretins say boh
All the rest is the same
But if the children say “Oh,
The vowel is enough.
I feel a bit ashamed
Instead the adults say “No”
I ask asylum…
Like the lions
I want to go like big cats
And every one is perfect
The color is the same
Hurray for the crazies
who have understood
what love is
It’s all a comic book
with strange words
That I haven’t read
I want to go back
to saying “Oh”
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45. Giovanni
(Gender Stereotypes)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdFK2ZfZP5U
* follow the instructions
on page 182
to select subtitles
in your preferred languagee
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46. Quiz Worksheet
Answer by putting a cross next to the gender (F) feminine, (M) masculine and (N) neutral
in case the statement can refer to both feminine and masculine:
I need a bigger shoe rack: I no longer know where to put my
shoes.
See you at the café, I'll buy you a coffee.
F MN
F MN
Yesterday I worked all afternoon to put the laundry away.
F MN
Finally, I'm going to the hairdresser's tomorrow.
F MN
I signed up at the gym to increase my muscles.
F MN
I have been on a diet for a week.
F MN
See you Saturday morning for a tennis match.
F MN
Last night's film was very romantic.
F MN
My favourite pastime is shopping.
F MN
Tomorrow I have to ask for a leave from work, because I have
to take my son to the dentist.
F
M
N
The teachers told me that Mario has improved a lot.
F MN
I have to go home and prepare dinner.
F MN
Tomorrow I leave for Paris for an international meeting.
F MN
Yesterday I left the car at the body shop.
F MN
I gave up smoking 10 years ago.
F MN
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47. Cuerdas
completo
www.youtube.com/watch?v=FiFBbcqqr48
(italian)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=4INwx_tmTKw
(spanish)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtrHIa0RkAo
(english subtitles)
itineraries A youth ministry that educates to love
* follow the instructions on page 182
to select subtitles
in your preferred language
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48. For the Birds
www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYTrIcn4rjg
* follow the instructions on page 182
to select subtitles
in your preferred language
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Excerpt from
the book
‘The incredible story
of Olaudah Equiano,
49. or Gustavus Vassa,
called the African’
I was afraid of being killed, the white men lo-
oked at me and behaved, as I thought, sava-
gely: could we have been eaten by those hor-
rible looking white men, with red faces and
with long hair? I was forced to notice the parti-
cular thinness of their women... and I thought
they were not as pure as African women.
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Rhymes
50. on diversity
by Gianni Rodari
Nursery rhyme of those
who are different from me
You are not like me: you are different
But don’t feel lost
I’m different too, there are two of us
If I put my hands
With yours
Some things I can do and some
things you can do
And together we can do more
You’re not like me, I’m lucky
I really am grateful to you
Because we are not the same
It means that both of us are special.
The dromedary and the camel
Once a dromedary met a camel and
said to him: - I feel sorry for you, dearest brother:
you would be a magnificent dromedary too
if only you didn’t have that extra ugly hump.
The camel answered him:
- You took the words out of my mouth.
It is unfortunate for you to have only one hump.
You are close to being a perfect camel:
with you nature has erred by default.
The bizarre argument lasted the whole morning.
In a corner an old Bedouin stood listening
and was thinking to himself: - Poor both of them
Each one finds only his own humps beautiful.
So often do so many people in the world reason
Who find wrong what is only different.
Skin
Skin as white as wax
Skin as Black as the evening
Skin as orange as the sun
Skin as Yellow as lemons as many colours as flowers.
Of none can you do without to draw the rainbow.
Whoever loves only one colour will always have a grey heart.
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51. Biblical figure:
John the Apostle
Being loved is the most powerful motivation in the world. Our capacity to love is
often shaped by our experience of loving. We usually love others to the extent
that they love us.
Some of the greatest statements on the nature of God’s love were written by a
man who experienced God’s love in a very special way. John, a disciple of Je-
sus, expressed his relationship with the Son of God by calling himself “the disci-
ple whom Jesus loved” (John 21:20). Although Jesus’ love is clearly expressed
in all the Gospels, in John’s Gospel it is the central theme. Because Jesus’ love
was intense and personal in his own experience, John remained sensitive to
Jesus’ words and actions that illustrate how He who is love loves others.
Jesus knew John perfectly well and loved him in the same way. Both he and
his brother James were nicknamed “Sons of Thunder”, perhaps because of the
occasion when they both asked Jesus for permission to command fire to come
down from heaven (Lk 9:54) on a village that refused to accept Jesus and his
disciples. In this Gospel and his letters we see the great love of God, while the
thunder of God’s justice emerges from the pages of Revelation.
Jesus confronts each of us as he did with John. We cannot know the depth of
God’s love unless we are willing to face the fact that He knows us fully. Otherwi-
se we are fools to believe that He must love people for what they pretend to be
and not for the sinners they really are. John and the other disciples convince us
that God is willing and able to accept us as we are. Believing in his love is a great
motivation for change. His love is not given to us in return for our efforts, his love
frees us to truly live. Have you accepted this love?
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52. Stimulus Sentences
Worksheet
In italy,
faaorlrleesicegoxnmuearmsl aitstseadubltys
Being married
is always a
guarantee that
there will never be
sexual violence in
the couple
Since
she agreed
to have sex
last week,
she will also agree
today
hsieotohraim uWsestmeonehalooosielnonnrnamineesnaerkawdoigalrirgtltitlrhlaolnraaaewnitgtsepdehreatr, s
Siasestcxeahpuoxcaaaunttsualtswrvaliooeialollnyccleatantnecneot
Avicotlseonfcseetxaukael
place only
at
in
night,
dark areas
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53. Say No,
say Yes.
SAY NO!
Describe one or more
situations, real or imagined,
in which you feel you want
to firmly reject a sexual
proposal
Share what you have written
in subgroups.
Each subgroup chooses
a situation.
Identify the characters
and their characteristics
and dramatise them
in front of the whole class.
Observers pay attention to
how effectively they reject
the situation.
It is important to bring out
people’s feelings during
the dramatisation.
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53. Say No,
say Yes.
SAY YES!
Describe one or more
situations, real or imaginary,
in which you feel you would
like to accept a sexual
proposal.
Share what you have
written in subgroups.
Each subgroup chooses
a situation.
Identify the characters
and their characteristics
and dramatise them in front
of the whole class.
The observers pay attention
to the way the situation is
accepted.
It is important to bring out
the feelings people have
during the dramatisation.
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54. She was
asking for it
www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9G_ezXc1Ss
(english; italian subtitles)
* follow the instructions on page 182
to select subtitles
in your preferred language
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55. What were
you wearing?
OBJECTIVES:
The exhibit aims to dispel the prejudice that the
victims of rape could have avoided it if only they had
worn different clothes.
DURATION:
From one day to a few weeks
USEFUL MATERIALS AND RESOURCES:
• Different clothes in relation to the stories of abuse
that will be presented in the exhibit
• Story cards printed on A3 sheet - I card for each
story
• Glue, tape or pins to attach the stories to the wall.
• Corridor or homeroom of a school
WHAT TO DO: STEP-BY-STEP DESCRIPTION
PREPARATION
Be careful to:
• Prepare young people for the realisation and management of the exhibit, explaining that their role will be
to accompany visitors and facilitate their understanding of the theme of the exhibit;
• Organise the exhibit so that each dress corresponds to a story;
• Encourage participants to look for clothes that can match the stories that will be exhibited;
• Accompany them in the preparation of the exhibit from a technical point of view, choosing the places
where there is a greater visibility;
• Organise an official opening day, where young people will be the guides and can explain the purpose of
the exhibit to visitors and discuss stereotypes, prejudice and violence against women with them;
• Publicise the open day through the school’s communication channels.
• Ask young people to actively participate in publicising the initiative.
REALIZATION
The exhibit can remain open for more than one day and the young people can act as guides both on the
opening day and on the following days, taking turns. It is useful to be present on the official opening day to
accompany the young people in guiding the guests, in case conflicts or emotionally difficult situations arise.
Afterwards, you can arrange for the youngsters to take turns in guiding the exhibit during lesson breaks. At
the end of the exhibit, you can ask visitors to leave their impressions and reflections on the theme. You could
have visitors fill in an anonymous evaluation form or ask them to leave a message or reflection on a poster
you have previously put up on a free wall of the exhibit site.
FOLLOW
At the end of the exhibit, a meeting with the young people who acted as guides is useful to reflect on the
experience and its value, also analysing together the feedback from the visitors.
* suivez les instructions de la page 182
pour sélectionner les sous-titres
dans votre langue préférée
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Scenario 1,
56. scenario 2,
scenario 3.
With Maria we usually meet at the café ‘SOTTOCASA’ at 5 p.m. and drink tea.
Today we met at the usual place at 5pm, but after agreeing to drink tea, Maria
said she had had second thoughts and no longer wanted it.
I insisted that she drink the tea, also because we had ordered it from the wai-
ter, but Maria said she did not want to and left angrily. I stayed at the café wi-
thout understanding what had happened. In my opinion, women are strange.
Rosa came to visit me and I offered her green tea, knowing that she is crazy
about all kinds of tea, but especially green tea. My younger brothers were
playing in their room and my parents were tidying up the garage. So we could
enjoy our tea in peace. Rosa told me that she might want tea but wasn’t sure.
I decided to make it anyway and offer it to her. Surely she would drink it. When
she saw the tea, she told me she didn’t want to drink it at all. At first I tried to
convince her by explaining that I had made green tea just for her. Then I got
angry and forced her to drink the tea, since she always says green tea is her
favourite and I had done everything to please her. She drank the tea crying. I
think Rosa was very rude and I behaved well because I prepared everything
with great care and attention.
Teresa came to see me on Sunday morning at 10 a.m. She told me she was
tired so I offered her some tea. I know that she particularly likes blueberry tea
and I made her one. As I was preparing the tea, I heard a crash. I returned to
the room and found Teresa lying on the floor. She had fainted. I thought it was
a joke and brought the tea. Then I asked if she wanted to drink it, since I had
prepared it just for her. But she did not answer. So I laid her down on the sofa
and made her drink the tea, but the tea spilled on her shirt. Teresa always does
everything to make me angry and this time too she succeeded. I had prepared
the tea with such passion for her and she was so ungrateful.
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57. Tea Consent
www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhaZDVcGo-o
(italian)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZwvrxVavnQ
(english)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4WTnJCMrH8
(spanish)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ovcQgIN5G4
(German)
* follow the instructions on page 182
to select subtitles
in your preferred language
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Charter of Sexual
58. and Reproductive
Rights
In 1995, the International Planned Parenthood Federation (IPPF) and its 127 member associations
adopted a Charter on Sexual and Reproductive Rights based on the international legislation on human
rights. The 12 rights in the Charter are:
1. The right to life, which means, among other things, that no woman’s life should be endangered by
reason of pregnancy.
2. The right to liberty and security of the person, which recognises that all human beings should be free
to enjoy and control their sexual and reproductive life and that no one should be forced to undergo
pregnancy, sterilisation or abortion.
3. The right to equality and the right to be free from all forms of discrimination, whereby every
individual, regardless of race, colour, sex, sexual orientation, marital status, family position, age,
language, religion, political opinion, national or social origin, wealth, birth or any other status, has the
right to receive information, education and services relating to sexual and reproductive health.
4. The right to privacy, which means that all reproductive health care services should provide clients with
privacy, particularly with regard to confidential information entrusted to operators.
5. The right to freedom of thought, to enable everyone to obtain information on sexual and reproductive
health not conditioned by religious or moral convictions.
6. The right to information and education, which guarantees the right of everyone to receive full
information on the benefits, risks, and effectiveness of all methods of contraception so that any
decisions in this field are made with full, free and informed consent.
7. The right to choose whether or not to marry and to found and plan a family, to avoid marriages
without the free, full and informed consent of both partners.
8. The right to decide whether or when to have children, i.e. the right of everyone to reproductive health
services that offer the widest possible choice of effective and safe contraceptive methods, and that
are in turn accessible, convenient and acceptable to users.
9. The right to health care and health protection, i.e. to the highest possible quality in health care, and
the right not to be subjected to traditions that may have negative effects on health.
10. The right to the benefits of scientific progress, which includes the right to use available reproductive
technology if objective research has shown that the risk/benefit ratio is acceptable and that these
methods do not conceal negative side effects on health.
11. The right to freedom of assembly and political participation, guaranteeing the right to form
associations that aim to promote reproductive health and rights.
12. The right to be free from torture and ill-treatment, to protect children, women and men from all
forms of violence, abuse and sexual exploitation.
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Biblical figures:
59. Azariah, Ananias
and Mishael
Friendships make life pleasant and difficult moments more bearable. Difficul-
ties test and strengthen them. Such was the relationship between the three
young Jews deported to Babylon and Daniel. Their friendship meant a lot to
them, but they never allowed it to take over God’s place in their lives, even in
the face of death.
Together they silently defied King Nebuchadnezzar’s command to bow down
and worship the idol he had made of himself. They shared an act of courage,
while others, eager to get rid of them, told the king that these three Jews were
disloyal. Even though it was not true, Nebuchadnezzar could not spare their
lives without causing embarrassment.
It was the moment of truth. Death was about to put an end to their friendship. A
small compromise would have allowed them to live and enjoy their friendship,
to serve God and their people as long as they were on this earth. But they were
wise enough to realise that it would undermine the very conviction that had
bound them so intimately together: loyalty to God. So they did not hesitate to
put their lives into God’s hands and the rest was victory!
When we leave God out of our most important relationships, we tend to expect
these relationships to satisfy our needs that only God can satisfy. Friends are
helpful, but they cannot satisfy our deepest spiritual needs. Leaving God out
of our relationships shows how unimportant He is in our lives. Our relationship
with God must be important enough to touch other relationships, especially
close friendships.
La cura
60. (The cure)
by Franco Battiato
I will protect you from the hypochondria fears
from the worries that you’ll encounter during your life
from the injustice and the deceit of your times,
from the failures that you will cause by your nature.
I will relieve you of the pains and of your mood swings
of the obsessions of your mania.
I will overcome the gravitational currents
the space and the light, in order not to make you grow old;
and you’ll be cured of all diseases.
because you’re a special [human] being
and I’ll take care of you.
I was wandering the fields of Tennessee
who knows how I got there
don’t you have white flowers for me?
faster than eagles, my dreams
cross the sea.
Above all, I will bring you the silence and the patience
we’ll walk together through the paths that lead to the essence.
The love fragrances will intoxicate our bodies
the August stillness won’t calm our senses.
I will weave your hair like the plot of a poem
I know the laws of the world and I’ll offer them to you.
I will overcome the gravitational currents
the space and the light, in order not to make you grow old;
I will save you from any melancholy.
because you’re a special [human] being
and I will take care of you.
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61. Gospel
passages
MARK 3:13
Then he went up the mountain, and summoned those whom he wanted and they came
to him. He appointed Twelve that they might be with him and he might send them forth
to preach and to have authority to drive out demons. Therefore he appointed the Twelve:
Simon, whom he named Peter; James, son of Zebedee and John the brother of James,
whom he named Boanerges, that is, sons of thunder; Andrew, Philip, Bartholomew, Mat-
thew, Thomas, James the son of Alphaeus, Thaddeus, Simon the Cananean and Jusas
Iscariot who betrayed him.
JOHN 15:12
This is my commandment: love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love
than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I com-
mand you. I no longer call you slaves, because a slave does not know what his master is
doing. I have called you friends, because I have told you everything I have heard from my
Father. It was not you who chose me, but I who chose you and appointed you to go and
bear fruit that will remain, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name he may give
you. This I command you: love one another.
LUKE 22:24
Then an argument broke out among them about which of them should be regarded as the
greatest. He said to them, “The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them and those in autho-
rity over them are addressed as ‘Benefactors’; but among you it shall not be so. Rather,
let the greatest among you be as the youngest, and the leader as the servant. For who is
greater: the one seated at table or the one who serves? Is it not the one seated at table? I
am among you as the one who serves.
LUKE 22:61
Then the Lord turned and looked at Peter; and Peter remembered the word of the Lord,
how he had said to him, “Before the cock crows today, you will deny me three times.” He
went out and began to weep bitterly.
MATTHEW 26:48
His betrayer had arranged a sign with them, saying, “The man I shall kiss is the one; arrest
him.” Immediately he went over to Jesus and said, “Hail, Rabbi!” and he kissed him. Je-
sus answered him, “Friend, do what you have come for.” Then stepping forward they laid
hands on Jesus and arrested him.
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Grazie mille
62. (A thousand thanks)
by Max Pezzali
When you can see
the mountains because there’s no fog,
when the holidays begin
and when I finally go back home,
when I get up and feel that I’m in,
when you rub your nose against mine,
when you breathe next to me
I get a feeling that, I get a feeling that...
For every day, every instant,
every moment that I’m living:
thanks so much!
When they play
football cups on TV on Wednesdays,
when I listen to a wonderful piece [of music]
that I would never have imagined so beautiful,
when my dog comes to welcome me,
when I see my parents smiling,
when I have the enthusiasm to do [anything]
I get a feeling that, I get a feeling that...
For every day, every instant,
every moment that I’m living:
thanks so much!
For every instant, every day,
every moment that I was given:
thanks so much!
When I wish I would never [have to] leave
the microphone,
when my friends place a bet at Snai and pick
the two winning horses,
when the world seems better to me
even just for a moment,
when I know I can do it
I get a feeling that, I get a feeling that...
For every day, every instant,
every moment that I’m living:
thanks so much!
For every instant, every day,
every moment that I was given:
thanks so much!
Thanks so much!
Thanks so much!
Thanks so much!
Thanks so much!
Thanks so much!
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63. Gospel passage
Mt 18,15-18
“If your brother 12 sins, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens
to you, you have won over your brother. If he does not listen, take one or two others along
with you, so that ‘every fact may be established on the testimony of two or three witnes-
ses.’ If he refuses to listen to them, tell the church. If he refuses to listen even to the chur-
ch, then treat him as you would a Gentile or a tax collector. Amen, I say to you, whatever
you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be
loosed in heaven”.
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SMS about you...
63. SMS about me
Worksheet
Situations to which we
must react
A friend always arrives
late when you plan to go
for a walk. He is never on
time!!!
A friend never says what
he thinks and, when he
does, he is insecure and
blushes.
A friend never speaks
seriously, but can only
tease and joke heavily.
A friend always thinks
he is right, always
blames others and never
questions himself.
A friend accepts neither
jokes nor criticism, he
immediately becomes
sad and withdraws into
himself.
SMS about me
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*
On the Youtube page, to activate subtitles in your preferred language, follow the procedure below:
1. select SETTINGS
2. activate SUBTITLES
3. select the AUTOMATIC LANGUAGE
4. select (appears after selecting automatic language) AUTOMATIC TRANSLATION
5. choose your PREFERRED LANGUAGE

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