SHARING during the rectors seminar, Batulao 2004
(7 mixed groups of 7-8 rectors, 64 participants)
1. POSITIVE EXPERIENCE OF RECTORS
the commitment of the confreres to be a united community also because they have a smaller community
the moral will of the parish Salesian community to have time for themselves and instituted in their timetable in spite of the hectic parish schedule
experience of a community of senior confreres, the Rector merely accompanies them
a Rector makes it apart that he gives a short homily for 2 confreres during daily Mass
sanctifying experience
the role of Rector as a very noble ministry (taking care of confreres)
member of the community who is a former General Councillor and yet very obedient, knows how to step down
learn a lot more from confreres than from books
in fulfilling our duties, we just do the positive things we have seen in our former rectors
we learn through our mistakes and experience
presence of old confreres gives inspiration
life is good if there are no difficult confreres in the community
rector older than the confreres is advantageous
finance is really not a problem if the community is united
maximizing the help of the past pupils is of great help
one recollection day was sharing at Mass about the RM’s letter to the Province after the Extraordinary visitation. The confreres were asking for more gatherings like what they went through that day.
In a Salesian parish last June, the community met to plan their community life. The members expressed the desire to make the reflection on the Word of God as an item of their plan and to use it at the start of every community meetings. This promotes communion of persons apart from establishing a planning mentality among the community members.
Some Salesians are convinced of the importance of the frequent friendly talk with the rector. In spite of the schedule posted out in the bulletin board, some members on their own orally request the rector (formation house).
A rector makes his daily rounds of the offices of his confreres even if only to say “hello” to them. This is a way of making the confreres feel his presence – to establish and maintain a qualified interpersonal relationship firstly with his confreres.
An experience of a confrere with a rector: one-to-one relation/ dialogue initiated by the rector even in casual or informal occasions. The confrere feel himself important to his rector in this way.
2. NEGATIVE EXPERIENCE AS RECTOR
the Rector a ‘losco’ – always to be blamed because is ultimately responsible
difficulty of a young rector where there is an older confreres
he can not go anywhere, he has to be a home – buddy!
A rector who demands ‘I must know everything’! (lack of ability to decentralize, maybe ever trust; waiting to a god!)
Quot capita, tot sententiae! Too many heeds, too many opinions, the difficulty of pleasing everyone, of balancing each one’s personality, sentiments, opinions!
How to deal with old confreres and confreres with difficult personalities
Generation gap, individualism, very small communities, difficulty to say NO
Holding also other positions in the community, like being an Economer – difficulty to balance our fatherly image with that of being an administrators, of financial task
The presence of old and young confreres
One learns to get away from the responsibility if problems are big
One learns to survive in a healthy way through challenges
Problems of inculturation occurs due to cultural differences.
Confreres with strong sense of project could be divisive
Rector acting as referee in the community is not good
Language barrier brings divisions
The fatherly image of the rector was clouded by his over-involvement in administrative matters of the house.
The difficulty as a rector of a community where some members are older and more senior to him. This difficulty becomes even more tough when spiritually directing such confreres.
3. PROBLEMS ENCOUNTERED AS RECTOR
Problem with a confrere who has lost trust and confidence with this Rector and spreads rumors against him to outsiders, ever breaking confidentiality of things discussed
the Rector has openly confronted in the community, since the Gospel says, ane cannot break bread together unless he settles first with his brother
offered the time to discuss matters and kept reminding the confrere but to no avail
the rest of the community kept wondering why the confrere could not discuss the cause with the Rector
the Rector on his part also made his own introspection and self-examination on where he may have failed.
In the end, the confrere was transformed but the issue had no closure between the two
Problems with senior confreres: to arouse their enthusiasm
because of their age
because of government restrictions that those who are 60 years old and above, can not longer teach
Why not ask senior confreres what they still like to do and relate it to an apostolate like writing/ as confessor in the parish
Finances suffer because government only pays for those who are teaching. Thus the rector, even if he supervisor of the school, does not have any financial renumeration.
Problem with a lack of Salesian environment because there is only a national seminary as mandated by the Archdiocese (KOR)
we are lucky to have a Salesian parish, the only parish in Seoul runned by the religious
When rector finishes his term, preferably he be assigned to another house.
Identity / role of the Rector in a school setting (head of the school/ community)
Young priest don't ask permission but only inform
Rector must stand in the middle to understand both the younger and the elder confreres (generation gap in our communities)
How does the rector strike the balance between structured and habitual friendly talk with the more preferred spontaneous chat?
Is is not easy to share on a deeper level, more personal, sharing matters from heart.
Salesian culture is much more difficult to impart among younger confreres. Which of the Salesian traditions should be kept in the midst of changing times?
Some Salesians
just refuse to give an account on money spet
to join community assemblies
do not join community prayers (busy with their work, insomnia)
do not go for rendiconto, friendly talk
reject the authority
One rector, but the confreres living in several houses
Financial difficulties, not enough money – to attend Provincial meetings
Difficulty of operational finance = new forms of expression of poverty today (as poverty can be stretched to adopt the culture), all the details of accounting to be submitted to the Province
Regular community life in the Province is not quite possible due to culture (CIN)
A Salesian can be friendly with outsiders that he sides with the lay people than the confreres/ community
Some confreres (young/ old) in FIS find it hard to go to far (countryside)places distant/ remote from the Provincial center
Openness of the lifestyle of each confrere to the community (adaptability/ flexibility) = mentalization of confreres needed
Weekly income of some communities in poor settings does not suffice.
Difficulty of the novices – quite mature, they question the ideals they learn when confronted with the lifestyle of certain/ some Salesians they encounter. They become vocal, inquisitive and irritated.
4. DIFFICULTIES OF BEING RECTORS - SOME SOLUTIONS / AS OPPORTUNITIES
1. The rector is not there to please everyone. But we must make our confreres know/ feel that we wish them well and we care for them. We must have the courage to lead, without being scared by oppositions
2. We have to admit that confreres have their individual freedom. But the rector must also have the courage to correct, using the gospel pedagogy: correct the confrere privately; in no change is made, call witnesses then go the authority. Emphasis on responsible freedom.
3. This seminar gives me hope because I can bring not so much for my confreres, but for my own growth as rector.
4. Let’s go deeper in our interior life as rectors.
5. Let the rectors make the first approach in calling confreres for the friendly talk, because often they expect and wait for the rector to do so.
6. Letter from Rome 1884 is to be applied to the Salesian community.
7. About the rendiconto, the Rector takes the initiative to approach the confreres
8. Let the community know, that a certain amount is not accounted for (account!)
9. The province provides accommodation and money for confreres to attend province meetings
10. The surplus of the houses is gathered to help poor presences
11. Need for the right number of confreres in the community.
12. Rectors should not be absent from their communities for a long time.
13. Rectors must have the ability to make decisions
14. Rectors should also adopt the Preventive System to help develop the spirituality of the confreres of his community
15. In a situation where conflict happens between two confreres, the rector can solicit the help of a third person to resolve the conflict and come to an understanding of some sort.
16. Rectors should be equipped with some skills, even in only the basics, in spiritual direction.
4. DIFFICULTIES OF BEING RECTORS (real or perceived)
Animating the community selecting the community spiritual reading materials (What to read? – download recent documents of the Church / Congregations from the Internet: www.vatican.va; www.sdb.org) or asking the confreres what they preferred
Confreres whose attitudes the rectors wants to change. These are the confreres of certain age and gotten use to certain established habits; ex: saying the Rosary during the Mass (How do we get the old confreres involve and participate with the rest of the community? What about introducing a modern way of reciting the rosary? How do we help a confrere break an old habit?)
Difficulty of calling the confreres for a community meeting, gathering: majority of the old confreres do not like community gatherings. The rector finds difficulty in organizing such meetings. However they are rectors who are creative enough by calling for community gatherings and meeting on the occasion of someone’s birthday/ feastday – anniversaries, or any occasion that calls for celebration
Community that lacks numerical consistency (ex. 3 SDB only) they see each other so often that they do not see the need to meet together to discuss matters.
Many of aging and sick confreres do not want to be taken from their communities and placed in the houses built for them (even if these are built and managed by the Salesians: FIN,FIS). Cultural approach and intervention – these cultures prefer to keep their aging and sick members instead of putting them in the houses for the aged.
Too often we have to look into the root of the misunderstanding happening among some members in the community. Probably the confreres are carrying a past “baggage” that are unresolved.
The difficulty of handling permissions (the rector is not supposed to know everything particularly if outside activities are intrinsically included in the nature of the work; use of cell phones to secure permission when such permission cannot be obtained in the ordinary/ customary way)
Rectors are not equipped to give spiritual direction to their confreres.
5. MEMOIRS OF THE ORATORY – a key to DON BOSCO’s MIND
- hidden agenda: a spiritual journey of our founder
- main message: fundamental concepts traced in –
a/ conversion
b/ confidence in God
c/ ritiratezza – fly from the world, withdraw, recollection
- triangulation points of reference: DB – GC25 – MO
