T H E S A L E S I A N B U L L E T I N • Y E A R 1 1 8 • I S S U E 2 • S U M M E R 2 0 1 0DON BOSCO
T H E M A G A Z I N E F O R T H E S A L E S I A N F A M I L Y
DON BOSCO TODAY
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9 780953 899142
ISBN 978-0953899142Ł-2
ISBN 978-0953899142
©Don Bosco Publications
ornleigh House
Bolton BL1 6PQ
Phone 01204 308 811
Fax 01204 306 868
Email joyce@salesians.org.uk
www.don-bosco-publications.co.uk
Ordinary Ways
Hidden in the ordinary patterns of each day is a network of life-giving
relationships between young people and the adults that care for them.
When a parent puts down the paper to talk to their son or daughter new
things become possible. When a teacher, after disciplining a di’ cult pupil,
enquires more gently about their home situation, they have moved into a
sacred space where lives can be changed.
is book is about those ordinary relationships, those objects of life that
become pathways to personal growth and windows of insight. It is a
reminder that PARENTS, TEACHERS AND YOUTH WORKERS are on a road that
can lead to wisdom. We hope this book will help them to see beyond the
immediate and the ordinary, to deeper patterns of mystery and presence.
David O’Malley is a Salesian priest with great experience of youth work. He
is presently chaplain to the sta and students of ornleigh Salesian College,
Bolton, England, with over 1500 students. He is a well-known author of
books for youth and those who work with the young. His best selling book,
Trust the Road, has been used by many schools as a parting gift for older
students, and has been translated into German. His books, Prayers to Start
the Day and Prayers to Close the Day have proved extremely popular in
many communities. His innovative daily prayer book, in the form of Swatch
and Pray, is a truly original way of encouraging young people to pray.
Ordinary Ways
David O’Malley SDB
of walking with the young
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Editorial >>
On behalf of the children of Haiti,
I would like to thank the readers
who contributed so generously
to our Salesian Haiti Appeal. The
appeal realised over £15,000.
There were over 250 donations
ranging from £2 to £1435.
I was particularly impressed by a
number of schools who organised fund-raising activities
for the children of Haiti. It is too soon to give details of
the Salesian work in Haiti; we hope to be able to do so
in the next edition.
This edition of Don Bosco Today is different. It is more
reflective than usual. We are reflecting on the twin
themes of vocation and inculturation. We are all
familiar with the idea of vocation; how different people
respond to God’s call. So we have presented in this
issue an account of various Christian vocations. We
begin with the vocation of the Christian mother; lovingly
accepting the gift of a child even in the most difficult
circumstances. Matthew, a Polish Salesian Brother,
recounts his experience in an English secondary school.
Tonino, explores the challenge of helping young people
to pray. Marco encourages young people to consider a
religious vocation in today’s world. Fr O’Malley is full of
praise for those brave men and women who respond to
the challenge of the Christian headship.
The concept of inculturation is not so easy to
understand, but Brother Matthew’s article on page six
helps us to appreciate the idea. Inculturation is about
change, the way we must change because our world is
changing rapidly. Brother Matthew charts the journey from
Poland to England, from Polish Catholicism to English
Catholicism, from Polish children to English children. His
experience provides a template for every missionary, the
process of change – we must understand the people
God has called us to work with and must change our
mentality accordingly if we are to bring the good news,
the gospel, to them. Tonino Passarello, in his article,
explains how a teacher must learn before he can teach;
must understand the needs and lives of young people
before he can help them to pray.
The article A Brave Mum challenges us to change our
attitude to those young mums who are brave enough to
follow the vocation of motherhood despite the prejudice
of society. Finally Fr O’Malley’s article in praise of
headteachers focuses on the unique responsibility of
our school leaders to understand the needs of young
people, parents and teachers and to steer our schools
through the troubled waters of conflicting expectations.
Tony Bailey SDB
a.bailey@salesians.org.uk
Contents
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ARTWORK
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WEBSITES WORTH VISITING
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www.don-bosco-publications.co.uk
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www.sdb.org/ANS
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www.youthoutreach.org.hk
4-5 A Brave Mum
From the moment I realised
I was pregnant, I was
determined to have my baby.
6-8 Understanding
Inculturation
Brother Matt is completing
a year’s experience working
as a teaching-assistant in a
Salesian school in England.
9-12 Bosco Bear
Molly, Rio, Suzi and Bosco
enjoy their summer holiday on
the Greek island of Rhodes.
13 Ordinary Ways
Special offer
14-15 Praying with Young
People
Prayer, in its traditional
sense, is not so evident in
the lives of young people, but
my research into the habits of
children, in terms of positive
thinking and willingness to
pray, may surprise some
people.
16-17 In Praise of
Headteachers
The role involves the
balancing of complex
pressures in a constantly
changing educational setting.
18-19 Becoming a Priest
Marco Villani SDB
20 Booklist
Summer 2010
4 6 10
13 14
16
18
4 DONBOSCOTODAY DONBOSCOTODAY 5
I was 16 years old and unmarried
when I became pregnant. From the
moment I realised I was pregnant,
I was determined to have my baby.
For me it was not a difficult decision
to make, but it was very difficult to
get other people to support my
decision. >>
Let’s begin with my parents. How could I tell my Dad?
I had always been very close to my Dad I was sure he
would understand. But how could I tell him? I decided
to write him a letter. As soon as he read it he phoned
my Mum at work. She pretended that she had known
previously. Both my parents could not accept it and
wanted me to have an abortion straight away. My
mother even drove me to the clinic for an abortion. After
three or four months my Mum came to terms with the
situation and accompanied me to the hospital when
I had stomach cramps and when I went for scans. I was
quite surprised by my Dad’s reaction; after all his parents
had been church-going Catholics. Fortunately, once my
parents came to terms with my pregnancy they were very
supportive. Now they love their grandson to pieces and
couldn’t live without Jacob. Other girls now come to me
for advice, their most frequent question is, How do I tell
my parents that I’m pregnant?
Many of my friends were supportive throughout my
pregnancy. At school, the school chaplain was very
supportive and one of the senior members of staff was
brilliant, she seemed to understand me and helped me
throughout my pregnancy. But so many people did not
know how to treat me, I was tired of them telling me, I told
you so. The truth is that everywhere I looked there were
stories of the ever-growing number of teenage parents
and how they were destined to achieve nothing and
most annoying were all the adults trying to come up with
a solution to a problem which they did not seem to fully
understand. I discovered that there are always plenty
of opinions flying around about young women getting
pregnant and having children – and they are seldom
positive. It was so frustrating.
I feel that I have learned much about myself, I’m certainly
not as lazy and selfish as I was before. The experience
of being a mother has developed me as a person in that
I can handle responsibility better and I feel I now have a
more mature attitude to life than so many of my peers.
According to the British media, the positives of being a
teenage mum don’t matter – for fear of encouraging it.
Although I would never tell someone that it is right or a
good idea, I strongly believe that we should not sacrifice
the wellbeing of the 17,800 young mothers in England for
the theories our government have of prevention; which,
up until now, have not succeeded. What amazed me
most when my news first surfaced was that it wasn’t my
peers who treated me differently or scrutinised me for
my decision, it was the adults around me. People began
treating me differently, conversations became awkward
and some people even spoke to me as though I was
still in junior school. People, for some reason, believed
that talking to me like I’m a child was the right way to
act. Teenage mothers, including myself, who suffer from
Postnatal Depression, are persecuted by the media
telling us that we have ruined our lives.
A lot of people thought I was throwing my life away,
ruining my chances of anything. This seems to be the
way our nation judges teenage parents. Many people
underestimate a young person’s ability to adjust to new
situations, work through something which potentially
could hold them back. This is no easy task when people
are publicly saying how you have ruined your life.
Teenage pregnancy is not the way to go. It’s hard work,
time consuming and has changed my life in so many
ways that I’ve lost count. I have to get up at daft o’clock
in the morning, I have to make food which makes me
feel sick and 9 times out of 10 I will have a baby with
me. But the way I see it is I get to wake up to a beautiful
baby boy, who always has a smile on his face, whether
it’s 7 o’clock or 4 o’clock. I get to cook for someone
who (for at least 5 years) won’t tell me I can’t cook and
I spend everyday with someone who will always love me,
unconditionally; although I would never tell someone that
teenage pregnancy is a good thing.
I was so pleased when Jacob was baptised and I am
now studying A levels and I hope to go to university to
study nursing. My ambition in life is to become a midwife.
Rebecca
A Brave Mum
>> I am the 18 year-old mother of Jacob, a beautiful baby boy.
6 DONBOSCOTODAY DONBOSCOTODAY 7
When I heard I was going to England I imagined myself
a fighter, a warrior, a crusader. I wanted to take my
cassock, bible and crucifix (and maybe a sword) to
evangelise. But when I stepped out of the plane I realised
that it just wouldn’t work. You can’t tell an Eskimo the
parable about the good shepherd because he has got
no idea what sheep are like. So I had to change my way
of thinking, I had to become more modest about my
religious life, hide the shepherd’s crook. They live in a
different culture; have a different way of praising God, of
talking about him. So I had to change my behaviour, my
way of thinking. I soon realised that, in a different culture
learning the language is just the beginning. Inculturation
means discovering all the good and valuable things that
British people and their culture produced during 2000
years. I can’t just step in like an unexpected guest in
other people’s houses and tell them what kind of books
they should read, what kind of music to listen to, and
how to prepare a meal. I’m the guest; I must respect the
host.
So I never said a word about things that I thought were
wrong; because they weren’t wrong – they were different.
Even if sometimes I was boiling inside and wanted to
shout out. I just stopped and thought: Why? Why say it’s
wrong? Don’t judge! How do I know that Poles are doing
these things correctly? Who am I to judge? If something
works here but not in Poland let it be, just leave it as it is.
The best way is to observe; don’t criticise. Learn because
maybe you’ll need to do the same. Does it work? It
worked for me. After weeks of inner rebellion I fell in love
with this country, its people, its food, and even the
weather!
In school, the staff are wonderful. They spend so much
time in the school. I really admire their commitment and
the passion they show in their teaching. That’s the
impression I’ll take, in my heart, back to Poland and tell
people about it. The school staff were a great example to
me, a 26 years-old foreigner, with no experience of
professional teaching. Thanks to them I’ve learned so
much and I’ve achieved so much. Being a teaching
assistant in their lessons was a pleasure and huge life-
lesson for me. They didn’t have to say a word. I just
watched them; it was like a good film. Now I need to
share my experience with others and invite them to play
that role. They deserve an Oscar. What surprised me
was that, after a few months of working with them, some
of the teachers occasionally did things the way I was
doing them with the youngsters – ways that worked. I like
to think they appreciated the Salesian way.
How do English Catholic young people differ from Polish
young people? They have their English Catholicism the
same as Polish young people have their Polish
Catholicism. There is no point in trying to make
judgments, no need to compare or to assess the
differences. This diversity is an area where the whole
richness of the Church takes place: a space that cannot
be measured or defined. But when you enter that space
with an open mind you will never be the same again. You
become a new Catholic – a richer Catholic. That certainly
has been my experience. That’s why I encourage others
to join Project Europe1 – for that enriching experience.
They will discover that they receive more than they give.
Brother Matt is a young Salesian
Brother from Poland who is
completing a year’s experience
working as a teaching-assistant in
a Salesian school in England. >>
A car, a mobile, money and a girlfriend – that makes you a
man nowadays. That’s the way some lads think. So many
of those they consider heroes behave like children. They
seem to lack responsibility, they indulge in foolish and
dangerous behaviour, they use people; for them what
they have is more important than who they are. So it was
inevitable that at first the young people regarded me
as an alien rather than a normal person. I tried to show
them, to teach them that being a man means to love and
be ready to protect what you love, to give your life for it.
It means not to fear even when everything and everyone
is against you. Do not be afraid. They were the gospel
words that sustained me during my stay in England.
Being a man means to work hard, to be the head, be
in charge – first of all in charge of your own life. Not to
give the steering wheel to mass-media, mates, alcohol,
drugs or your X-Box. That’s what I was trying to show
them. Maybe one year is not enough but I hope they’ve
seen that I’m happy, in charge of my life, even if I don’t
have my own car, money or a girlfriend. For me, being
a man means to be a good Salesian – a father, brother
and friend.
Although Polish and English teenagers are different –
because of language, education, culture and family
background, there is something that everyone
understands – a smile. I am convinced that’s the key to
their hearts. The only difference is that sometimes it
takes longer to open doors. That was, for me, a lesson in
patience. In my country when a Salesian or priest smiles
youngsters come and want to chat, ask different
questions, they’re interested in him, in his story, in his
vocation. It’s so obvious, but not here. I was someone
from a different world, an adult, a staff member and they
must have thought I was a spy. It took me a long time to
break through. Eventually I used the simple Don Bosco
method – like what young people like. When I’ve seen
them with headphones for example, I’ve asked about
their favourite bands, types of music. And I’ve shared my
tastes in music with them. Similarly with sport, art, and
books. It was difficult for me because I’m the type of
person who does everything quickly – I think fast, I talk
fast, I walk fast, I eat fast, I make friends easily. In England
I had to slow down. I’ve also become more tolerant of
the behaviour of young people, they are slightly more
aggressive and hyperactive than in my country. Perhaps
it is because of their family situation – some lack both
parents, some boys miss the father figure in their lives.
After quite a few failures at the beginning I decided
I wouldn’t give up, I’ll try again and again... and it was
worth the fight. Despite being so different from them,
I think the youngsters began to appreciate me. I didn’t
see it at the beginning, but soon I recognised signs of
their appreciation. I treasure those moments when,
jogging after school and passing the school bus, the
pupils would wave and shout Hello, Brother Matt. I’ll
never forget those moments, and hi-fives on the corridor.
Understanding Inculturation or How I changed
>> December 24th 2009
Michaelangleo Matthew and his Don Bosco snowman
8 DONBOSCOTODAY DONBOSCOTODAY 9
I have certainly changed since I came to
England. Some people have commented
on the improvement in my English, and
have even remarked that I’m more British
now, whatever that means. I’m sure that is
not just about Health and Safety issues or
tea breaks. It seems to me that I just
understand people more than I did before.
I’m curious to see what my family and
friends are going to say when I return home.
I can certainly feel the difference. I just
know I’ve changed; even when I can’t name
it I can feel it.
There are still many areas of disagreement;
that’s inevitable and that’s healthy. I didn’t
come to England to change into Brother
Matthew. I’m still Mateusz. Most of our
differences are caused by our lingual,
cultural and historical differences. But an
appreciation of this makes us more valuable
as people, more effective as Salesians. I’ve
learned something from you but I hope
that you’ve learned something from me.
This is Project Europe, not Project England
or Project Poland. We can only hope that
every country which takes a part in Project
Europe will reap the benefits.
As I said in the beginning, Why? was the
most important question. Sometimes the
question is more important that the answer.
A good philosopher is the one who asks the
most important and basic questions.
Bosco Bear
C
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The Bear Facts
Hello
Children,
Many
children in
the past had
difficult lives.
Many parents sent their young
children to work to earn money.
Children only six or seven years-
old were sent down coal mines
which were dark, dangerous and
frightening places for them. My grandad had nine brothers and sisters and they all
lived together. They were so poor that they only had one pair of clogs (shoes) and
one scarf between them, so they took turns going out in order to wear them.
Do you own a pet? If you do I am sure you are kind to it. Brown Bears, like me, get
treated well because people can be frightened of us. I’m very gentle really but if I
growl it sounds fierce. Rabbits are supposed to be nervous animals but Rio isn’t;
he chases Rottweiler’s. Squirrels, like Suzi, are often shy but Molly Magpie is pretty
confident.
My new story is set during our summer holiday in Greece. Greece reminds me of the
Olympic Games and ancient buildings; an unusual alphabet and sticky cakes; tiny
blue and white houses and goats with bells round their necks and a donkey, called
Davros, who became a friend of ours.
WORLD CUP PREDICTIONS
All of us here at Forest School have looked into our crystal ball
and made our World Cup predictions.
Bosco Winner – England Runner-Up - Italy
Rio Winner – Spain Runner-Up – Brazil England: Quarter-Final
Molly Winner – New Zealand Runner-Up – Holland England: Semi-final
Suzi Winner – Ivory Coast Runner-Up – Argentina England: Quarter-final
We’ll see!
1 In 2008, the Salesians launched Project Europe, with the aim of leading the continent back to its Christian roots, seeking
a new form of evangelisation, in order to respond to the spiritual and moral needs of the many young people, who seem to
wander aimlessly with no one to guide them and nowhere to go.
During my stay in England I’ve asked myself many times Why? Often I have not found an
answer. But I hope that my Salesian presence among young people will encourage them
to ask some questions: Who am I? Why do I live? What’s my life purpose? Does God
exist? Could I be a Priest, a Brother or a Sister? I hope that they will ask these questions
and that they may find some answers, I pray for that. That’s what I can leave them – my
prayers.
Matthew Koziolek SDB
DONBOSCOTODAY 11
THE ACROPOLIS
Sizzling sausages! It’s so hot,
my skin feels like its burning,
said Bosco.
The friends were at the top of
the Acropolis. It was midday:
the sun was blazing down.
I think I’m going to faint, cried
Suzi as she wobbled.
I’ve been thinking, about Davros
our donkey, announced Rio … He can’t be happy here, so let’s
take him home with us.
Don’t be silly, laughed Suzi, shaking her head.
We can’t do that.
Yes we could, insisted Rio. We could pay his
owner; get him on the bus to the airport,
and put him in a special animal box on the
plane.
There was a pause…….
Bosco smiled, Rio…….that’s a brainwave,
Let’s do it!
FARMER FRED’S FARM
In Darkwood Forest, near Bosco’s home, stood
Farmer Fred’s Children’s Farm and Playground. There was a
tractor ride, a pets’ corner, a bouncy castle, and….donkey rides.
Hello, said Davros smiling.
Hello, replied Tommy, one of
Farmer Fred’s donkeys. You’ve
got an unusual name.
Yes. I’m from Greece,
explained Davros. Bosco
Bear and his friends brought
me here. I’ve learnt to speak
English; everyone’s very kind
to me; it’s not too hot and I only
give rides to children. I could
stay here for donkeys’ years.
GREECE
Mamma Mia! exclaimed Bosco
Bear.
Molly, Rio, Suzi and Bosco were
enjoying their summer holiday on
the Greek island of Rhodes. They
had just finished a moussaka, in a
restaurant, and Molly and Suzi had
gone outside for a dance, wearing
traditional Greek dresses.
Tomorrow, announced Bosco, we’re going to the Acropolis at Lindos.
What’s that? asked Rio.
It’s a 2000 year old monument, explained his friend.
You get a fantastic view from the top.
DONKEYS
Next day the friends caught a bus to Lindos Market.
Right, said Bosco, We need some donkeys.
Why? asked a puzzled Suzi.
Because they carry you up that very steep,
zigzagging path to the Acropolis, he explained.
All the friends looked up and up, and saw a path full
of donkeys. You could say we’re going to have Donkey Rhodes,
suggested Rio. I think it would be much better if you didn’t, answered Molly.
Those poor animals must be very, very
strong, she said. Look how big
some of the people are that they’re
carrying.
Rio chose a donkey called Davros.
Giddy up, he said, shaking the
reins. He seemed to think he was
in the Grand National.
Don’t be cruel, said Bosco. I’ve
changed my mind. I’m going to
walk up.
So am I, agreed Molly.
Rio looked thoughtful.
DONKEY RIDES
10 DONBOSCOTODAY
DONBOSCOTODAY 13
KINDNESS IS, AS
KINDNESS DOES
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12 DONBOSCOTODAY
Kindness is as kindness does is an old
saying. It means that being kind is something
you DO, not something you say. You can
be kind without saying anything. The word
kindness comes from an old English word kin
which means family. So if you are kind to someone (or something) you treat
them as you would treat your family.
Most children, I’m very glad to say, are very kind towards other children and,
are often, extremely helpful to children with poor health or special needs.
Bullying is the opposite of kindness. Don’t ever make other children unhappy.
I read about a man who admits he was a bully at school: now, he has two
children of his own and hates the idea of them being bullied.
Many people are kind to animals. Many people think that animals are
sometimes mistreated. They think putting animals in zoos and circuses is
wrong: using donkeys to give rides; killing animals for food; even swatting a
wasp are all wrong. What do you think?
Summer Competition: ANIMAL RIGHTS.
Write what you think about the way people should treat animals. Should all
animals be treated the same?
We’ll publish the best replies in the next issue of Don Bosco Today.
Name Age
Address
Please send your name, age, and address to
Don Bosco Publications:
Thornleigh House, Sharples Park, Bolton BL1 6PQ
Hidden in the ordinary patterns of each day
is a network of life-giving relationships
between young people and the adults that care for them.
When a parent puts down the paper to talk to their son or daughter
new things become possible.
When a teacher, after disciplining a difficult pupil,
enquires more gently about their home situation,
they have moved into a sacred space where lives can be changed.
Ordinary relationships, simple objects of life
can become pathways to personal growth and windows of insight.
Parents, teachers and youth workers are on a road that can lead to wisdom.
We need to see beyond the immediate and the ordinary,
to deeper patterns of mystery and presence.
Our own adolescence re-emerges, to be dealt with again on the road to maturity.
The adult sometimes becomes the pupil.
Young people sometimes speak the words we need to hear about our own life journey,
usually when we don’t want to hear them.
Ordinary Ways is the simplest guide to a Christian way
of walking with the young
Ordinary Ways - £5 per copy
5 or more copies £4 per copy
10 or more copies £3.50 per copy
20 or more copies £3 per copy
All Prices include postage see back cover for address
D
avid O
’M
alley SD
B
O
R
D
IN
A
R
Y W
AYS
9 780953
899142
ISBN 9
78-095
389914
2Ł-2
ISBN 978
-0953899
142
©Don Bo
sco Public
ations
ornleig
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Bolton BL
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Phone 01
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Email joy
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-bosco-pu
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Ordinary
Ways
Hidden in
the ordin
ary patter
ns of each
day is a n
etwork of
life-givin
g
relationsh
ips betwee
n young p
eople and
the adult
s that care
for them.
When a p
arent puts
down the
paper to
talk to the
ir son or d
aughter n
ew
things bec
ome possi
ble. When
a teacher,
after disc
iplining a
di’ cult p
upil,
enquires m
ore gently
about the
ir home si
tuation, th
ey have m
oved into
a
sacred spa
ce where l
ives can b
e changed
.
is book
is about t
hose ordin
ary relatio
nships, th
ose object
s of life th
at
become p
athways to
personal
growth an
d window
s of insigh
t. It is a
reminder
that PAREN
TS, TEACH
ERS AND Y
OUTH WO
RKERS are
on a road
that
can lead t
o wisdom
. We hope
this book
will help
them to se
e beyond
the
immediat
e and the
ordinary,
to deeper
patterns o
f mystery
and presen
ce.
David O’M
alley is a S
alesian pri
est with g
reat exper
ience of y
outh work
. He
is presentl
y chaplain
to the sta
and stud
ents of
ornleigh S
alesian Co
llege,
Bolton, E
ngland, w
ith over 1
500 stude
nts. He is
a well-kn
own autho
r of
books for
youth and
those wh
o work wi
th the you
ng. His be
st selling b
ook,
Trust the
Road, ha
s been use
d by many
schools a
s a parting
gift for ol
der
students,
and has b
een transl
ated into
German.
His books
, Prayers
to Start
the Day a
nd Prayer
s to Clos
e the Day
have prov
ed extrem
ely popula
r in
many com
munities.
His innov
ative daily
prayer bo
ok, in the
form of S
watch
and Pray
, is a truly
original w
ay of enco
uraging yo
ung peopl
e to pray.
Ordinary
Ways
David O
’Malley S
DB
of walkin
g with th
e young
D
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N
B
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S
for the New School Year
DONBOSCOTODAY 15 14 DONBOSCOTODAY
Praying with Young People
Some are expected to fulfil adult roles and behave in
adult ways at a young age. Unfortunately, some have
been brought up in deprived areas with experiences of
social problems. Some students, from affluent areas,
have lived in homes with parents who have very intense
careers and the typical idea of the nuclear family is
certainly one that most of our students would not be able
to comprehend. Some are brought up as Catholics, but
are not taken to church or supported in their faith by their
parents. Their parents were brought up in a similar way.
Children’s lives are more varied today, as are their
experiences and the consistency of these experiences.
Having thought about their lives in more depth I went
back to a selection of children and asked them about
times when they are quiet, times when they reflected and
probed for information about times in their lives when
they obviously do pray, but they don’t understand this as
being actual prayer. Their responses have led me to
believe that it is not the children who have abandoned
prayer rather it is adults who have misinterpreted their
needs. Typical responses were:
• When I am stressed I will go to a field behind my estate
where I will sit and look out upon all the people who
I know. It helps me to relax and to think.
• At night, before I close my eyes, I go through all the
things I have done during the day and think about all
the things I need to do tomorrow.
• I get stressed when revising for exams, so a friend has
taught me some breathing exercises that help me to
focus on my revision and break it down into
manageable chunks.
• When I need to think things through I go to the gym
and get into the zone. When I have finished I feel a lot
more positive.
Are the children here not describing elements of
reflection, peace, ways of prioritising their emotions and
energy, relaxation techniques, focus and requests for
time out in their hectic lives? A typical prayer does not
have the desired affect and maybe children have found
their own way to focus and to direct their thoughts to a
higher power. Because of this we decided to try out a
few things in the RE department. Firstly, our daily worship
is now linked to major events that have happened or the
topic content of our lessons. Prayers are sometimes
tactile, opportunities to use actions. We have really been
helped by the production of Swatch and Pray by
Fr David O’Malley. This series of prayers and reflections
is accompanied by linked actions and elements of focus
that allow the students to visualise their prayers and
thoughts and make it real to them in their lives. Usually a
member of staff will select a passage that may link into a
lesson or form period. Students have their favourite
prayer and many request to have a certain reflection
read out. It has certainly enhanced our collective prayer
experiences and has been adopted as a whole school
approach to prayer.
In addition, the RE department has listened to the
feedback from students and has built into the curriculum
key opportunities for children to pray. This is done via
guided journeys and meditations which are held in the
school chaplaincy room or the school chapel. The
students are taken through breathing exercises before
being given advice on how to focus and clear their minds
so that they can fully become in tune with the reflections.
They are then taken on a journey accompanied by music,
incense and candles and are encouraged to think about
the things that they need to prioritise in life. This is done
in a subtle manner and relies on complete trust between
the teacher and the student. The students love doing
this. They are at peace throughout the session and show
a maturity that helps to prove that prayer is still important
to teenagers. They tell us that they rarely get time to be
quiet and that stillness and peace usually comes only via
sleep. The constant requests for meditation are now
overwhelming and it is up to my team to ensure that
students fully understand why we do this and get them to
try and do it in their personal lives.
So it isn’t difficult to get children to pray; they actually
want to pray. The difficulty is making prayer relevant to
their life experiences and shaping it in a form they can
enjoy, feel safe participating in and gain peace. The
proof is clear for observers in our school to see. Students
are curious about prayer and they are obsessive about
buying and carrying symbols of their religion. SDB
badges and lapel crucifixes are worn by many; there are
constant requests for more. Rosary beads are very
popular and we have held classes to show students how
to use them traditionally and in a more modern way.
Prayer is obviously still an important part of the lives of
our children; but it took us some time to understand their
needs. The challenge is to find out how to help young
people to make prayer meaningful and important.
Tonino Passarello
Prayer, in its traditional sense, is not so evident in
the lives of young people, but my research into the
habits of children, in terms of positive thinking and
willingness to pray, may surprise some people. >>
As a department leader I insist that every period of
teaching starts with a prayer. About three years ago
I began to question why I insisted upon this. Is it
acceptable to say prayers just for the sake of it? When
a teacher says a Hail Mary at the start of every lesson,
what impact does it have on the spirituality of our
students? Very little I suspect. Prayer at the start of a
lesson should be a positive experience for our
learners, should be linked to lesson themes and
objectives and could encourage students to pray
more in their lives. Prayer needs to be a positive
experience for both the teacher and the student.
When we asked students and RE staff about their
praying habits, most said that they couldn’t recall the
prayers that were said at the start of lessons and that
they had been said simply because it had become a
matter of routine.
I began by asking students about times when they
have prayed. The results were varied, it was clear
that some element of prayer did exist in their lives.
Responses were mainly; I pray when I go to church,
or, I pray when someone is sick or when bad things
happen. When asked if prayers continued when they
had received what they had prayed for, students
were a little evasive. On the whole, children said that
they simply did not pray. I decided to think about
prayer from the perspective of a 14-year-old student
and began to think about the picture that I have of
their lives. I could never imagine the level of stress
that these students have in their daily lives. Many live
in broken homes, some having no male role model
or father figure.
16 DONBOSCOTODAY DONBOSCOTODAY 17
In Praise of Headteachers
It is clear from the
evidence we received
that headship is
currently not seen as
attractive because of
the many additional duties
and pressures which
headteachers now have
to take on without
receiving a great deal
of extra money in
return.1 >>
These words from the ninth report of the Select Committee
on Education highlight the difficulty in appointing
headteachers in Christian schools. The role involves the
balancing of complex pressures in a constantly changing
educational setting. It demands resilience and a range of
skills that few people possess. Headteachers are, in my
experience, courageous, committed and likely to be
motivated much more by faith than by ambition. In
common with many bishops, they stand at the meeting
point between the Gospel and the local secular world;
between religion and the practical atheism of our culture.
They also bridge the gap between home and school,
between the almost industrial mentality of some
educational policy and the vocational self-sacrifice of
staff. They hold together different generations of teachers
by maintaining an ethos and tradition that reaches back to
former pupils and out into the wider community. They are
people that can be stretched at times beyond their limits.
Yet the figure of headteacher is often portrayed simply as
a manager of target-based learning and someone who is
only as good as the latest set of the school’s exam
results. This industrial model of their role as managing
inputs (learning) and outputs (exam results) is a narrow
and demeaning view of the spiritual leader of a Christian
learning community. The headteacher is undoubtedly
responsible for learning and results but the quality and
durability of that learning will depend not just on what
happens within the curriculum but also upon the
relationships that sustain the school community. The
exam results will only catch part of the learning that
happens in the classroom and school community. Much
of the richness, bequeathed to pupils in a school, will
only emerge in later life, in family living, parenting,
commitment to citizenship and to the Church. The narrow
culture of measurement and the repressive, almost
medieval, practice of blame and shame leave our
headteachers at risk of going over to the dark side and
adopting narrow mechanical and superficial ways of
working and thinking; or simply burning themselves out
with the loneliness and responsibility involved in holding
so many pressures in balance.
As members of a Christian community we need to
recognise and value the amazing men and women who
lead our schools. They lead a Church community within
diocesan structures that are themselves under pressure.
Few people in our Church appreciate all the pressures
under which they labour but we need to be aware of
some of the issues they manage each day. They need to:
• Continually improve results in order to avoid slipping
down the written and unwritten league tables which
might lead to bad publicity, falling roles,
amalgamations and even closure.
• Respond clearly and quickly to educational initiatives
that can come from outside the needs of the local
community.
• Maintain an active and informed governing body in
support of their role.
• Be skilled in selecting and recruiting suitable staff and
then provide ongoing and relevant training for them,
as well as dealing with grievances and terminating
employment in a just and Gospel-based way.
• Respond to the needs of the local deanery for
effective religious education that will bring older
pupils back to practice.
• Manage issues of health and safety, relationship
education, budgeting and policy management which
are a regular and time-consuming focus for every head.
• Maintain and model the spirit of the school so that
each pupil and member of staff has the experience,
whatever their faith background, of a gospel-based
community where spirit and activity are integrated in
each person.
These are just some of the roles that I know keep many
headteachers late at work and, at times, distant from
their own home. They take work home and live and
breathe a role that, at times, calls for the constant support
of their whole family. They see themselves as setting the
tone for the whole school, modelling a work ethic for
colleagues and absorbing responsibility for tasks that
are often difficult to delegate. Many, with whom I have
worked, know that they are doing a good job and yet
they may be very close to the limits of their energy for
long periods, as they balance the secular and spiritual
demands of their role. What they sometimes lack is the
recognition that bonds them supportively to the
community in which they serve. The encouragement
headteachers need will come only rarely from the
inspectorate and more often from the local authority. The
most important sustained support a headteacher needs
must always come from within the school community;
from parents, governors, pupils and staff.
Parents need to see beyond performance tables to the
person of the headteacher as a spiritual leader in their
community and not simply a service provider for the local
authority. Perhaps parents, more than others, will
recognise in the head a shared commitment and care for
their children, especially in the confusion of adolescent
lives. Governors need to find time to read between the
lines of the minutes of meetings and support the head at
times of celebration, as well as during times of trouble or
change. Teachers need to take good news into the
head’s office and not just problems. All members of staff
need to use the middle leaders in the school community
to resolve problems before going to the headteacher.
Pupils simply need to say thank you to the headteacher
when they can, admit their mistakes honestly and enjoy
the spirit of the school.
Saint John Bosco recognised the importance of
leadership and offered the image of the Good Shepherd
as a model for leaders of Church-based communities. It
is a challenging model for the leader; to seek out the lost,
establish safe places, and lay down one’s own life at
times for what really matters. Headteachers will often feel
that responsibility to live the Good Shepherd model at
the heart of the school community. However, the Good
Shepherd model is for the whole school community not
just the leader. We are all called to shepherd the spirit of
love, truth, justice and compassion in the school
community. Therefore the headteacher also needs to
feel shepherded through a genuine concern for them as
a person within a school community. The headteacher
needs to hear affirmation as well as difficulties from staff.
They need to experience some recognition for their role
and their informal presence in school and the work they
do beyond the school site. In Christian terms, those in
leadership are called to service and not to status. No
community can buy that service as a product, it is always
a gift nurtured by a compassionate community.
A school community thrives primarily on respect,
understanding, affection and good humour. It is based
on teamwork that has little to do with the solo heroics
of fictional characters of films and novels: those who
apparently single-handedly turn whole communities
around. Real leaders emerge from teamwork and mutual
support. Real leaders emerge in communities where
responsibility for the community is shared by the whole
community and not left to just one person. As a Christian
community, we cannot allow the narrow and industrial
models of leadership to overshadow the model of the
Good Shepherd.
Don Bosco believed that praise, recognition and
encouragement give strength to the inner spirit and
help people to remain humble and strong in the service
of others. May we find time in our conversations to
recognise, praise and encourage those men and women
who lead our schools. If they experience the warmth and
understanding of their community, they can then find
even more strength to face the daily challenge to build
and shepherd, on our behalf, a new spiritual community
in a secular age.
David O’Malley SDB
1 Select Committee on Education and Employment Ninth Report no 186
>> Those in leadership are
called to service and not to status.
18 DONBOSCOTODAY DONBOSCOTODAY 19
Becoming a Priest
Upon my return to the UK, I was asked what I enjoyed
most about my time abroad. Upon reflection, I felt that it
was the teaching that had been both very challenging
but ultimately something that had been life-giving and
had kept me sane. Teachers reading this now may, at
times, wonder. It was then that a priest I knew suggested
that I join the Salesians as he knew them well and his
uncle had been a Salesian priest.
At first, this suggestion surprised me. Yet things started
to make sense. My sister had been educated very well
by the Salesians in their school in Chertsey and there
was a strong link with my home parish of St Barnabas in
Molesey. Not only did this parish fall within the catchment
area of the Salesian School in Chertsey, but there were
also two parishioners, Jean Casha and Ina Coles, who
taught in the school and Jean encouraged me to make
an initial contact with the Salesians at Chertsey.
After several chats with Fr Andrew Ebrahim, I was invited
by the Rector at that time, Fr John Dickson, to become
an aspirant; this involved living for several months in the
Chertsey community, getting a taste for the apostolate
whilst at the same time continuing my paid employment
in Heathrow Airport. Then I was invited to make my pre-
novitiate year in Thornleigh Salesian College Bolton,
where I worked as a Learning Support Assistant.
From Bolton, I went to the novitiate in Farnborough,
Hampshire, where three other novices and I learned
about the history of St John Bosco and the early Salesians
as well as about the distinctive Salesian charism. I was
involved in the parish Masses, being in the choir and
playing the flute and guitar. I was also part of a great
team of catechists who prepared and led the Confirmation
programme.
During my post-novitiate year, I went to St Mary’s
University College, Strawberry Hill to train to become a
Religious Education teacher in a secondary school.
Having gained my Postgraduate Certificate in Education
(PGCE) I successfully completed my first year in Salesian
School Chertsey as a Newly Qualified Teacher (NQT),
completing my induction.
The two years in Chertsey flew by and then I moved to
the Salesian community in Battersea about eighteen
months ago. Last year, I went back to St Mary’s
Strawberry Hill for a Masters in Pastoral Theology. To
complement this study, I also went to Allen Hall, the
diocesan seminary for Southwark, where I attended
lectures in Pastoral Theology, Liturgy and Homiletics.
Last summer I was invited to apply for perpetual vows,
which I took in early September. I was then ordained a
deacon shortly afterwards. I have been exercising my
ministry as a deacon in the Salesian parish, Sacred Heart
Battersea, on a daily basis, by proclaiming the Gospel at
weekday Masses and assisting the parish priest,
Fr Christopher Heaps at the Eucharist. I have also
preached at Sunday Masses and I have visited the
residents of a care home, so that they may receive Holy
Communion and a blessing on a regular basis. I have
also been a First Holy Communion catechist and played
an active role in the Battersea choir as a musician and
singer. I hoped to be ordained priest in July.
Throughout my long journey, I have found support in
likely and unlikely places, in likely and unlikely people.
There have been times that have been difficult, but in the
words of St Paul in his second letter to the Corinthians,
we are never without a friend and I have been honoured
to have met many good and fine people and made great
friends along the way. I have met many people who were
role models as Christians for me, and I hope that I have
given as much as I have received from all the good
people around me.
Marco Villani SDB
When I was eight years of age I became an altar
server and the thought of becoming a priest
probably started about that time, though it had
strong competition from two other aspirations,
such as being an astronaut or a milkman. It was
during my time at Wimbledon College that thoughts
about priesthood popped up again. Several factors
were at play in my process of discernment. These
were the arrival of a young charismatic chaplain;
the opportunity of daily Mass before school and
the work of the school CAFOD group. Even then,
I was still considering work as a lawyer, translator
or teacher.
I went to Cardiff University, and despite going through a
very rough period in my faith life, I regained the strength of
my faith and in my second year of university felt that I had
reached a pivotal stage in my life, a moment of decision.
I still felt drawn to priesthood and in particular to the
foreign missions. Having contacted several missionary
societies, I was particularly drawn to one.
After several years studying philosophy and theology,
I went abroad to Pakistan for almost two years, where
I was involved in both teaching and pastoral work,
including house visitations, visits to parish outstations and
free English language tuition. I needed to grasp a working
knowledge of Urdu which is the national language of
Pakistan. Though I found reading, writing and spelling
difficult; I could just about make myself understood. At
least I thought the parishioners understood, perhaps they
were too polite to tell me otherwise.
Born in East Molesey, Surrey, just across the bridge from Hampton
Court Palace, I was raised a Catholic Christian by my mother and
father and this is reflected in my education. First, I attended St Joseph’s
Preparatory School, Beauchamp Road East Molesey, run by the
Sisters of the Christian Retreat. At the age of ten I went, literally next
door, to St Thomas More R.C. Middle School for four years before
going to the Jesuits at Wimbledon College. >>
If you think you know someone who might
be called to live out their Christian life as
a priest or religious, then it might be worth
plucking up the courage and dropping
a suggestion. I know a priest who first
thought about being a priest only when
someone broached the subject with him. If
you have considered, or are reconsidering
life as a priest or religious, then take the
opportunity to find out more. Finally, in
addition to the Salesians who have made
me feel welcome, I would also like to
thank my family, who have supported my
decision and vocation.
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Offers for the New School Year
ORDER FORM - SUMMER 2010
PRICE LIST SUMMER 2010 ALL PRICES INCLUDE POSTAGE
Title Author Price No
SWATCH & PRAY A new concept prayer book for young people D O’Malley SDB 9.00
SCHOOL ETHOS & CHAPLAINCY D O’Malley SDB 12.00
THE CHRISTIAN TEACHER D O’Malley SDB 5.50
CHRISTIAN LEADERSHIP D O’Malley SDB 7.00
ORDINARY WAYS Spiritual reflections for teachers & youth leaders D O’Malley SDB 5.00
PRAYERS TO CLOSE THE DAY D O’Malley SDB 5.00
PRAYERS TO START THE DAY D O’Malley SDB 4.00
TRUST THE ROAD 3rd edition with new coloured illustrations D O’Malley SDB 6.00
VIA LUCIS The Stations of the Resurrection D O’Malley SDB 7.00
STARTING AGAIN FROM DON BOSCO I Murdoch SDB 12.00
SERVING THE YOUNG Our Catholic Schools Today J Gallagher SDB 6.00
ROSIE AND KATIE GO TO MASS K Pearce 5.00
MEMORY GAME 6.00
DVD ROSIE GOES TO CHURCH A child’s guide to the church K Pearce 9.00
BOOK ROSIE GOES TO CHURCH A child’s guide to the church K Pearce 5.00
CHLOE AND JACK VISIT THE VATICAN K Pearce 5.00
DON BOSCO The friend of children and young people K Pearce 5.00
GOOD NEWS IN THE FAMILY The life of Jesus in story form K Pearce 5.00
OUR COLOURFUL CHURCH YEAR K Pearce 5.00
101 SAINTS AND SPECIAL PEOPLE Lives of Saints for children K Pearce 12.00
MOVING ON M Cooke 6.00
LET YOUR HEART PRAY M Cunningham SDB 12.00
LOST & FOUND Spirituality in a changing world M Cunningham SDB 7.00
A TIME FOR COMPASSION A Spirituality for Today M Cunningham SDB 7.00
WITHIN & WITHOUT Renewing Religious Life M Cunningham SDB 7.00
SEAN DEVEREUX A life given for Africa 1964-1993 M Delmer SDB 7.00
GOD OF MANY FACES M Renshaw FMA 3.00
DON BOSCO’S GOSPEL WAY Reflections on the life of Don Bosco M Winstanley SDB 7.00
SYMBOLS AND SPIRITUALITY Reflecting on John’s Gospel M Winstanley SDB 12.00
MAMMA MARGARET The Life of Don Bosco’s Mother T Bosco SDB 7.00
TEACHER, TEACH US TO PRAY for use in primary schools W Acred FMA 5.00
THE WITNESSES W Acred FMA 4.00
DON’T ORGANISE MY TEARS Reflections on bereavement A Bailey SDB 6.00
Total Cost
Swatch and Pray The Christian Teacher Prayers to Start the Day Prayers to Close the Day
5 + £7.50 each £3. 50 each £3.50 each £4 each
10 + £7 each £3 each £3 each £3.50 each
20 + £6 each £2.50 each £2.50 each £3 each
All prices including postage
