Venerable Mamma Margaret (1788-1856)

An educational and priestly Motherhood

The vocation of a widowed mother

“A perfect wife – who can find her? She is far beyond the price of pearls... Her children rise up and call her blessed” (Proverbs 31, 10.28). Margaret undertakes her faith journey in the state of matrimony, marrying Francis Bosco, left a widower at 27 years of age. They were married in the parish church in Capriglio on 6 June 1812, exchanging their wedding vows at the foot of the altar during the sacrifice of the mass.

With the premature death of her husband, Margaret found herself alone looking after the family at a time of great famine. In the house she had the mother of Francis paralysed and needing to be looked after; Anthony the son of Francis’ first marriage; and her two sons, Joseph and John (the future Don Bosco). To any convenient arrangement for a new marriage which was proposed to her she always replied: “God gave me a husband. God has taken him away. With his death the Lord put three sons under my care. I would be a cruel mother to abandon them when they needed me most.” On being told that her sons could be entrusted to a good guardian who would look after them very well she merely replied. “A guardian could only be their friend, but I am a mother to these sons of mine; All the gold in the world could never make me abandon them. It is my duty to consecrate myself entirely to their Christian education.”

A strong and wise woman and persevering in her decisions, Margaret’s was a simple and temperate way of life. In the Christian education of her sons she was strict, affectionate and reasonable. In this way she brought up three boys very different in character: but she did not put down or mortify any of them. Forced to make decisions sometimes very dramatic – such as sending little John away from home to preserve peace in the family and to enable him to study – with faith and hope she went along with the inclinations of her sons helping them to grow in generosity and enterprise. Hearing about the dream John had at nine years of age, she was the only one who succeeded in interpreting it in the light of the Lord: “Who knows but you may become a priest.” So she allowed him to go with the less reliable boys because they behaved better when he was there.

With love she accompanied John to the priesthood, showing in different circumstances a really extraordinary ability to discern the will of God: “I want you above all to consider carefully the step you will take. Then follow your vocation without regard to anyone. The most important thing is the salvation of your soul. The pastor urged me to make you change your mind because I might need your help in the future. But I want to tell you that in this matter I am not to be considered because God comes first. Don’t worry about me. I ask nothing of you and I expect nothing from you. Remember this: I was born poor, I have lived poor, and I want to die poor. What is more, I want to make this very clear to you: if you decide to become a secular priest and should unfortunately become rich, I will never pay you a single visit!” And on the evening of his first Mass in his birth place of Castelnuovo, while they were returning home together to Becchi, Mamma Margaret said to her son, a new priest, words which are memorable in the history of the Catholic priesthood: “You are now a priest and you celebrate Mass: you are therefore closer to Jesus Christ. But remember that to begin to say Mass is to begin to suffer. You will not become aware of this immediately but little by little you will realise that your mother was right. I am sure that you will pray for me every day, whether I be still living or dead, and that is enough for me. From now on you must think only of saving souls; never worry about me.”

This relationship between mother and son develops to the point where Mamma Margaret shares in the educative mission of her son: “My dear son, you have no idea how sorry I am to leave this house, your brother and everyone else whom I hold dear, but if you think that this would please the Lord, then I am ready to go.” She leaves her dear little home in the Becchi, and follows him to be among the poor and abandoned boys of Turin. Here for ten years (the last of her life) Margaret devotes herself without sparing herself to the mission of Don Bosco and to the beginnings of his work, exercising a two-fold motherly role: a spiritual one towards her priest son and an educational one towards the boys of the first Oratory, contributing to the education of saintly sons such as Dominic Savio and Michael Rua.

Illiterate, but full of that wisdom that comes from on high, she is the help of so many poor street boys, nobody’s sons. In the end, the grace of God and the practice of virtue made Margaret Occhiena an heroic mother, a wise teacher and a good guide of the newly born Salesian charism. Mamma Margaret is a simple person yet she shines out among the extraordinary number of holy mothers who live in God’s presence and in God, with a spirit of communion made of virtually constant silent prayer. The “most simple thing” that Mamma Margaret still repeats through the example of her life is this: that holiness is within reach and for everyone, and that it is achieved in faithful obedience to the particular vocation that the Lord entrusts to each one of us.