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DON BOSCO EDUCATOR

PASCUAL CHÁVEZ VILLANUEVA

DON BOSCO RELATES

THE GUYS LACK MORE IN LIVELINESS THAN IN WICKEDNESS

Thanks to my mother's maternal presence in the Pinardi House (where the Salesian work began) there was this straightforward style of human relationships, made up of warm patience, understanding and correction, in perfect family style. With so many at home, the discipline was necessary because all were not involved in creating ‘Bedlam’. Discipline reduced it to a minimum, but "short deals make long friends" as she, in her innate folk-wisdom, summed up her outcomes.

Many years passed and with a rich experience of good results, I could say that "With guys, the punishment fits the crime." I wanted to make it clear that a punishment must serve to improve things and not make them worse. A brief reduction of affection, a sad look, a more reserved and serious attitude, a little word in the ear said with gentleness and patience, were ways I was using to correct and prevent possibly incorrect behaviours.

Of the boys accepted, not everyone was like Dominic Savio. It happened one day that a poor assistant, probably not well accepted by the older ones, lost patience and went on to yell some deafening shouts in an attempt to impose himself. He had created a climate of resistance that could lead from one moment to the next into a dangerous form of uncontrolled insubordination. Everyone expected that I would say something; I did, after the evening prayers, at the "good-night".

With a very serious face taken to depict our education style, I showed them the disappointment to know that one of them had been treated so harshly and that on his part he had shown a grave lack of respect and obedience to whoever was in charge of maintaining discipline. To put the record straight, I finished: "On the one hand they are never abused, on the other no more violence". I was given the classic shot, ‘to run with the hare and hunt with the hounds’. Then I paused, my face began to smile and I resumed my talk: "I wish that the love you bear to all accomplishes even the impossible ... I am sorry for the beating you took, but I cannot just take them off." I was able to break the ice; everyone laughed, I waited for silence and again wished everyone a good night.

The experience taught me that it is much easier to get irritated, to threaten than to try to persuade with good manners. It was like an exercise-spring that causes exhaustion sometimes, but I knew that certain difficult, rebellious and grumpy temperaments I could win over only with love, patience and meekness. In practice, it left only getting down to goodness, speaking from the heart, which corrects with love and gentleness. The guys in general, typically make mistakes more from thoughtlessness than out of malice. And some educators, driven by excessive haste and impatience, commit mistakes more serious than the deficiencies of these same guys. Not infrequently I realized that some who never pardoned others were very sensitive and quick to excuse themselves.

And when one uses two weights and two measures in arbitrary form, educators end up committing mistakes and blunders. I often remind my Salesians that boys are "small psychologists" when judging their educators, teachers and assistants and the shape, tone and the carelessness with which they take advantage of their authority. I always wish my dear Salesians would know to wait for the right time to make the necessary correction; never driven by anger or revenge. And that they would never forget that kids, the young people need to be taken one by one, day by day, to direct them to the Lord because only He knows to how to design his divine face in them. And that they would always carry with them, my dear Salesians, a medicine which is essential and foolproof (though not found in any pharmacy): before you say ‘yes’ to the Lord, the young people want and expect others to say ‘yes’ to their games and their dreams.

By that time I had adopted a foolproof method to educate to the good: remain always among the boys. I wanted my Salesians as "playground educators". Open to dialogue, creative, vigilant but not suspicious, there but not stuffy, but pleasant and bright, true friends.

It was what I defined as help: a qualified presence, never neutral, always proactive; a help that was pleasant, an active and qualified presence. A way of being-with-the-young, alongside them. "Being in the yard", to share hopes and dreams with kids, to build together a better and worthy future, without barriers of mistrust. The courtyard, as a "sacred" place of friendship and encounter where friendly confidence is born, where the teacher climbs down from the chair, no longer has in hand the class's diary, where he does not apply just to the qualifications achieved as to what he is, for values which he expresses, for the ideals that animate him.

The young man, even the most rebellious, lets himself be influenced only by kindness and patience. For this, I suggested to my Salesians: "More than just the head of a superior you should have the heart of a father ".