2006|en|08: The family cradle of life: The guest with a capital 'G'

1 50 - MAMMA MARGARET - 150

by Pascual Chávez Villanueva


T HE FAMILY CRADLE OF LIFE


THE GUEST

WITH A CAPITAL “G”


It is the family that gives shape and form to all the spiritual aspects of life. It is there that one exeriences and learns the meaning of such spiritual ideas and attitudes as welcoming, listening, forgiving, communion, blessing, gratitude, gift, sacrifice…



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arents don’t ask themselves whether or not they should teach their childen how to eat or behave properly, they know they need to and act accordingly. The same applies to God. Getting to know God together with the children can become a great adventure. Faith is an essential element in our make-up as human beings, as is the ability to think. You can ‘t get away from it . Someone who doesn’t believe in God believes in something else: in Love, in Justice, in Freedom... The less mature believe in themselves, in power, in money. Even these are some kind of “Beliefs” on a much lower level; in every case the question to ask is: «What does the unbeliever, believe in?».

CHILDREN AND GOD


More than anything else, children need stories that explain where the world comes from, why they are alive and where grand-dad who died recently is now. They want to know why we are here in the world and when we are going to have to leave it. They ask whether God is a man or a woman ... With their questioning children can really stretch their parents’ imagination to its limits, but it is wrong to leave them to be influenced by the answers from elsewhere, since that would be in a sense to betray them. God should be seen as part of the family, and given a welcome as the Guest with a capital “G.” His presence can be experienced in the way importance is given to the interior life, and in special events, in the love shown for each other, in acting in a responsible way towards one another, in being brave, in forgiving, in being hopeful. God isn’t a vague religious feeling, but someone present. Parents, however, shouldn’t forget that most fundamental lesson: “you cannot give what you haven’t got.” Parents shouldn’t be content to “send” their chidren to catechism class. They have to play their own part which is the most important. The Church isn’t a “filling station” providing services. Just as the gift of life come from God through the parents, so the faith comes from God through the parents and the Church. The idea «My child will have to decide for himself later what religion to choose» is totally mistaken from the psychological and human development point of view.


LEARNING


Religious learning occurs in three stages. The first through observation and imitation: children listen with their eyes. A child who doesn’t see Mum and Dad pray will never pray. For the origin and the development of the idea of God the influence of the parents is decisive. Religious attitudes, however, can also be acquired through teaching and guidance: this is the second stage. Children have the right to know and understand the life of Jesus, his words, the thinking and the traditions of the community of believers; then to be “initiated” into a life “with God.” The third way to learn religious attitudes is through the reinforcement that comes from the affirmation of others and from social approval. This is the role of the parish community. The social affirmation that comes from praying and celebrating in common, in the church or in groups, or in the youth centre, makes what was handed on by parents or catechists acceptable and worth living.


RITES


Children need to have a relationship with God, not “theories” about God. More often than not they are given distorted and damaging images of God: the Judge who condemns, the frowning Book-keeper noting everything down, the Boss demanding high returns, a Policeman who punishes, etc. The real images of God are different: the Creator who has made everyone in his own image and likeness, the Good Shepherd who guides and protects his flock, the Father who cares for his children with a “maternal” heart, A Friend who suffers with mankind and gives meaning to death. But a living faith also needs outward and traditional expression, since children want to “see and touch”. This is where blessing the children can come in: parents have many opportunities to bless their children. For example, when they leave the house, in the evening before they go to sleep, on their birthday or the anniversary of their baptism. Here too the quiet of the evening: happy are those parents who have the custom of saying a prayer at the bedside of their little ones, allowing them to talk about their worries and concerns, about how they are feeling and what their hopes are. Here again reading the Bible, “the great unknown”: the words of the Bible are about the present not the past, they explain the meaning of life. Here too family prayers: teaching them to pray is the greatest gift parents can give their children. And finally: keeping the feasts of the liturgical year, celebrating Sunday with the Mass, the high point of family prayers …