“IT IS NOT ENOUGH TO LOVE…”

THE MANIFESTATION OF LOVE

“It is not enough to love.” This meditation is centred on one of the fundamental themes of our charism and our Salesian spirituality. Among the many texts that form part of our Tradition, we wish to recall the Letter from Rome dated 10 May 1884, in which Don Bosco moulded this essential trait of the Preventive System in a marvellous way. However, we run the risk of superficially turning it into a publicity “slogan”, whereas, in actual fact, it possesses a tremendous richness not only from a pedagogical or spiritual point of view, but also from a theological perspective: it calls, in fact, for deeper reflection since it has its roots in Christian Revelation itself.

Here too, as in our previous reflections, we shall take human experience as our point of departure, not because we wish to minimize the newness brought by the Christian faith, but because we are firmly convinced that there is no opposition between nature and grace, Creation and Redemption.

1.LOVE NEEDS TO BE MANIFESTED

What St. John says of God can be applied analogously to the reality of love in human experience: “No one has ever seen love.” Nevertheless, what the title of this section intends to convey is not only that love cannot be perceived if it is not manifested - this is obvious – but, more importantly, that love of its very nature tends to manifest itself and wants to be perceived by the person who is loved. Furthermore - and this needs to be clearly stated – love yearns for a response, but this will not be forthcoming if love does not manifest itself.

I feel that it is necessary to explore this experience, and that is why I wish to raise the question: why is the manifestation of love necessary on the part of one who loves? Obviously, because he cannot avoid doing so; but also – and here is something which is not always taken into consideration – because of what it implies for the person who is loved: precisely because what I very much want is his happiness, I want him to know that he is loved.

Such an approach leads us to an aspect that the phenomenology of love often tends to forget, viz. that our starting-point is not “loving”, but “being” and “feeling loved”. This forgetfulness is often bolstered by the misunderstanding that “it is better to give than to receive”, with the result that occasionally no response is expected from the person loved, as though it were more noble to display a “disinterested” love. One might even go the extent of thinking that this is the way we bear a greater resemblance to God. In his Encyclical, Deus Caritas Est, and especially in his Message for Lent 2007, the Holy Father, Benedict XVI, offers some extraordinarily fruitful considerations to deprive this misunderstanding of a theological basis. As we saw when speaking of gratuitousness and grace, the Pope writes: “The Almighty awaits the ‘yes’ of his creatures as a young bridegroom that of his bride (…) The response the Lord ardently desires of us is above all that we welcome his love and allow ourselves to be drawn to him.”

Unfortunately, the misunderstanding also appears in the very conception of Christian life, when it is taken to mean “loving and serving God” in the hope that God will reciprocate our love and save us; instead, we ought to understand and live our Christian life out of joy and gratitude for “being loved by God”. It is only a faith-conviction that can give rise to our grateful and joyful response of love for Him.

To return to the point just mentioned, viz. the “passive” experience of being loved, we have some extraordinary pages written by the German Catholic thinker, Josef Pieper. After quoting none other than Jean-Paul Sartre, who affirms that “the core of love’s happiness lies in validating our being,” Pieper goes on to say: “We do not look at love from the viewpoint of the one who loves, but from that of the one who is loved. From what we see, it is not enough for us simply to be; what matters is to be confirmed in our being: ‘it is well that you exist’, ‘how wonderful it is that you are here!” In other words, what we need, more than simply being, is to be loved by another person (…) And, surprising as it may seem, this reality is confirmed by our most elemental experience, viz. by what each person lives and feels each day. It is said that a person ‘blooms’ when he feels loved, because only then does he begin to be himself, only then does a new life begin for him”.¹

I imagine that all of us have had such an experience with the young in our educative and pastoral work; it is one of those things that give us deep and authentic happiness. To put it another way: as long as we do not feel loved by anyone, ‘we feel ashamed’ to be in this world, as though we were at a feast to which we have not been invited; but, no sooner does a person love us than, as Sartre said, “our being is validated”, and in education, the change (even externally) can often be quite amazing.

I wish to insist on this aspect of experiencing love, because “being loved” (in the passive) spotlights the exceptional and irreplaceable uniqueness of the person loved, whereas the active aspect of “loving” does not always guarantee that uniqueness. It is enough to consider the oft-repeated phrase, “Do good; it doesn’t matter to whom.” Can we really speak here of “love” when – apart from whether it is possible or not - the anonymity of the person loved is what we desire? Moreover, will the person feel satisfied? One could be performing a “kindly deed”, but it lacks an essential element to make it an authentic act of love.

I think that here in the person lies the root of his eros, without which his sexuality on the one hand, and his very agape on the other, can become “impersonal”. As we shall see in our meditation on Don Bosco, every boy, for him, was unique, even if those who received his love numbered in their hundreds or thousands!

2.THE EXPRESSION AND THE MANIFESTATION OF LOVE

In a bid to go deeper into the phenomenology of love so as to grasp what love is, it is important to distinguish between the expression of love and the manifestation of love. The expression of love flows more “immediately” from the nature of love itself: it is the consequence itself of loving, and is therefore more closely connected with the one who loves. The manifestation of love, instead, focuses more on the recipient: it specifies and explains the former (the expression of love), and for this reason, it is more closely connected with the word. Unfortunately, deceitfulness can enter here, as when the word does not correspond to the reality which, theoretically speaking, it seeks to manifest.

Let us try to trace the development of love in the form of a diagram:

reality – expression – manifestation – perception – response

As we can glimpse, and shall clarify later, all this finds a remarkable application when it comes to the Salesian charism.

Reminding ourselves of the adage, “Deeds are the proof of love, not beautiful words,” we can say that deeds are the expression of love, whereas manifestation is all that enables us to understand the source of those deeds, viz. love. This manifestation is first of all the word, but other signs too are possible. We can apply to love (and its human reality) the words of the Second Vatican Council: “The plan of revelation is realized by deeds and words having an inner unity” (DV 2).

Two further observations need to be made regarding this analysis of human experience. On the one hand, with regard to the newness of the manifestation, it is possible to say, paradoxically, that it is new, and at the same time, that it isn’t. It isn’t new because it manifests something that, in some way, already exists; but it is also new because what already exists has not yet been manifested. The manifestation creates a new situation, and in this sense one can speak of the “event of the Word”. To tell a person, “I love you”, is to establish a new and wonderful reality.

On the other hand, manifestation is, in a certain sense, “sacramental”, in so far as a good part of love’s efficaciousness lies in its perceptibility (the extent to which it can be perceived). When the sign is missing, perception does not ensue, even if there exists the reality that could make it possible; consequently, there is no possibility of a response on the part of the one who is indeed loved but does not know it.

The Spanish poet, Gustavo Adolfo Bécquer, had a beautiful way of expressing such a human experience:

A tear appeared in her eyes,

And a word of pardon on my lips.

Pride spoke, and wiped away her tears,

While the word on my lips expired.

Today I go my way, and she goes another;

But when I think of our mutual love,

I still say: why was I silent that day?

And she will say: why did I not cry?

To put it in a simple and universal way: how many times does it not happen, especially in married and family life, that, while love exists, and also its expression (in the form of mutual service, commitment, and even sacrifice for those whom one loves), there is missing that manifestation which makes it possible for the love to be perceived through those expressions?

3.“…WE HAVE KNOWN THE LOVE GOD HAS FOR US…”

While commenting on the motto of our Congregation, “Da mihi animas, coetera tolle”, we reflected on some theological aspects of our charism. We shall now go deeper into them, taking as our starting point the Incarnation of the Son of God as the definitive and once-and-for-all-time (= eschatological) manifestation of God’s love. “We declare to you what was from the beginning, what we have heard, what we have seen with our eyes, what we have looked at and touched with our hands, concerning the Word of Life— ²this Life was manifested, and we have seen it and testify to it, and declare to you the eternal Life that was with the Father and was manifested to us — ³we declare to you what we have seen and heard” (1 Jn 1, 1-3a). What we really want to say in a nutshell is that God’s entire plan of salvation for humanity, which is centred on the Christ-event, can be summarized in just one word: EPIPHANY, for its aim is that all human beings, of all times and places, should not only be the object of God’s love, but should be able to perceive it, grasp it in faith, and respond to it in love.

When we speak of the “Incarnation”, obviously we do not refer to a precise moment (“the 25^th of March”) but to the total experience of “becoming man” that the Son of God went through; from a personalistic point of view which, in a certain sense, is the theological basis for life understood as a continuing formation process, that “becoming man” lasted all through his earthly life and reached its culmination in his death and resurrection. From this point of view, then, the word “epiphany” does not mean just a “sensory manifestation” (visually, for example); in such a case, it would imply that he only appeared (and that would be “docetism”). “Epiphany” instead embraces the entire reality of the Person who gave himself totally in love “to the very end” (Jn 13,1ff.).

Catholic theology, in a critical dialogue with the Protestant Reformation, has always maintained that the God who reveals himself in Jesus Christ is the same God the Creator, who makes himself present in history, and in particular, revealed himself as Yahweh, the God of Israel. This Catholic position has been definitively confirmed by the First Vatican Council on the basis of Rom 1,20: “Ever since the creation of the world his eternal power and divine nature, invisible though they are, have been understood and seen through the things he has made. So they are without excuse.”

Nevertheless, the same Council, speaking of this revelation of God, and in agreement with the Pauline text, makes mention of “his eternal power and wisdom”, but does not speak of his love. Perhaps it was not the explicit intention of the Council to make this distinction, but I find the omission very significant. Here we are speaking of Creation and History as the expression of the true God (therefore, of the God who is Love); but, if it is to be understood in this way, this expression needs its manifestation in Christ. Without Him, we would never be able to understand that, over and above his infinite Power and his Wisdom, Creation and History speak to us of God’s love, or better still, of a God who is Love.

To return once more to human experience: how often it is difficult to perceive the attitude of a person who expresses his love but fails to manifest it (especially through the word, as we have said before) and therefore makes it hard to establish a relationship.

I would dare to say that, without the historical revelation of Jesus Christ, Creation and History (in the sense of universal history, and especially “my” history and that of every man and woman in the world) are dumb in terms of manifesting agape. Even if a little later we shall try to look at the important consequences which all this has for our charism, for the time being, from the “Salesian angle”, I would like to say only this: God was not satisfied with loving us, but wanted to manifest his love by giving us what he held dearest to his heart, viz. his Son, Jesus Christ.

The definitive nature of God’s revelation in Jesus Christ does not mean to say that God has already said everything he had to say in the past or that he will have nothing to say in the future. Actually speaking, God will continue to speak to us through (universal, particular, personal…) history, but we shall not be able to understand what he is telling us if we do not “read” it in the light of Jesus Christ.

All this has implications (which we cannot examine here) for interreligious dialogue. Without closing ourselves in any way to all the values we find outside of our faith, to all that is “good, noble and just…” (Phil. 4,8) in every genuine search for God on the part of mankind in every time and place, the considerations we have made enable us to assert that Jesus Christ is the one universal Saviour of humanity. “For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation to all,^{* 13}while we wait for the blessed hope and the manifestation of the glory of our great God and Saviour,^* Jesus Christ” (Tt 2, 11.13).

4.THE INCARNATION OF THE SON OF GOD, EPIPHANY OF DIVINE LOVE

Nonetheless, we have still to arrive at the core of our theological reflection: in what sense is the Incarnation of the Son of God the definitive manifestation of his love so as to enable us to discover its expression in every moment and circumstance of our lives and in those of others, in particular and universal history? Especially since, by taking his self-emptying (kenosis) seriously, the Incarnation would seem, at first sight, to be a concealment of God rather than a manifestation of his Divinity. On the other hand, by not taking his self-emptying (kenosis) seriously, how would we be able to understand the definitive revelation of God through his “becoming man”?

A superficial reading of a Pauline text, 1 Cor. 1,18-25, could give us the impression that, according to St. Paul, God, who is infinite Power and eternal Wisdom, manifested himself in Christ in a way opposite to what he is, viz. in the impotence and insanity of the Cross. This, for example, is how Luther understood and developed his sub contrario Christology. The fact is that St. Paul does not say this. The contrast he makes concludes with these words: “To those who are the called, both Jews and Greeks, [we preach a] Christ, the power of God and the wisdom of God” (v. 24). Since it is a matter of the power and the wisdom of God’s love, it appears to be weakness and insanity, according to purely human criteria, but it is stronger than human strength and wiser than human wisdom.

If we start out from a “theistic” description of God as infinite Power and Wisdom, we find ourselves confronted with an alternative that leads up a blind alley. Either the Son of God, in his Incarnation, keeps these prerogatives or he empties himself of them; in the first case, can we maintain that he truly “became man”? in the second case, his human reality is evident, but does it allow him to be truly God?

The real theological solution begins with the very statement of the problem, and that is: what is the authentic image of the God in whom we believe? God is not, first of all, Power or Wisdom; He is Love.

Let us go back to our human experience. All of us know that beautiful expression in Latin which holds that “amor, aut similes invenit, aut similes facit” (love finds equals or makes equals). Let us apply this statement to God’s love. The “difference” between God and his creatures – here we mean human beings - is infinite. Nevertheless, the very source of this difference (“I am God, and no mortal”: Hos 11, 9) gives rise to the pursuit of equality: love does not pretend to ignore differences, but it also does not allow itself to be separated by them, and so it seeks to overcome them by embracing them.

In a beautiful text belonging to the Oriental tradition, Nicolás Cabasilas says:

Men are distinct from God because of three things: because of their nature, because of their sin, and because of their death. However, the Redeemer brought about the disappearance of these obstacles which come in the way of a direct relationship. To this end, he eliminated the obstacles one by one: the first, by assuming human nature; the second, by dying on the cross; and the third, by rising from the dead, whereby he completely banished the tyranny of death over human nature.²

If love seeks to be equal to the one loved, the Son in his Incarnation emptied himself of his Power and Wisdom, not in order to cease being God but for the opposite reason, viz. to manifest himself to us more fully, in our likeness, as Love, and therefore as God (assuming that we take seriously our belief that “God is Love”).

In other words: because it was love that prompted the Son of God to empty himself of his omnipotence and omniscience in order to be truly man, he manifested that love to the greatest possible extent – which is the same as saying that he manifested himself fully as God.

Let me have recourse one more time to human experience. Unlike expression, manifestation has as its reference point not the person who loves, but those who perceive and receive that love. Therefore, since, in God, Love cannot be opposed to his Wisdom and Power - in fact, they are identical in the absolute simplicity of his perfection - but since in our perception of love it is possible to see them opposed to each other, God chose to “condescend” to our limited human understanding, emptying himself of whatever could, even in the slightest degree, obscure or overshadow the full manifestation of his Love. Never was God “so really” God (or, to put it more exactly: never did he manifest himself to us so fully as God) as when, out of love for our sake, he emptied himself of his omnipotence and omniscience, viz. of whatever could hinder him from being really and truly “one of us”.

This brings us to a tremendously paradoxical conclusion: any attempt to deny or diminish the radical humanity of Jesus Christ is an assault on his Divinity, and goes counter to his “desire” – and infinite power – to share fully in our human existence, starting out from his personal identity as the Son of God. (We can never forget, even for a moment, that it was God himself who, in Christ, became one of us!)

Here we can again pick up what we said with regard to Grace, viz. that the entire plan of the epiphany of God’s love hopes for – rather, longs for - a response from each one of us. I would like to conclude with a statement that has a distinct “Salesian flavour” and is deliberately provocative: when the Father, through the work of the Holy Spirit, sent his Son into the world, he gave him this injunction: Strive to make yourself loved!

5.“… IT IS NOT ENOUGH TO LOVE”: THE PREVENTIVE SYSTEM

The article in the Constitutions on the Preventive System concludes with these words: “It permeates our approach to God, our personal relationships, and our manner of living in community through the exercise of a charity that knows how to make itself loved” (C 20; cf. also C 15).

Before mentioning, at least in summary form, some of the aspects of this key feature of our charism, I would like to recall some paragraphs from the speech which the Cardinal Vicar of Rome, Lucido Maria Parrocchi, gave in 1884, on the occasion of the Don Bosco’s journey to Rome, during the time the construction of the Basilica of the Sacred Heart was in progress. Our Rector Major quotes this passage (cf. AGC 394, p. 35-36), saying that “apart from some obsolete terms, [it] could have come from the present day:

…I want to tell you what distinguishes your Congregation from the others… Just as God confers to every man born into this world something that distinguishes him among all other men, so too does God confer something to every religious congregation that gives it a character, a mark of its own… You, Salesians, have a special mission that constitutes your characteristic… Your own Congregation seems to be akin to that of St. Francis in its poverty, yet your brand of poverty is not Franciscan. It would seem to be akin to the Order of St. Dominic, though you do not have to defend the faith against overwhelming heresies, for these heresies have not grown old, but are now decrepit and enfeebled. Your principal mission consists in the education of the young. It would seem to be akin to the order of St. Ignatius in learning because of the extensive number of books you have published for the masses, and Don Bosco is a man of great genius and extensive knowledge, learned in many things. But do not take it amiss if I say that you have not invented the philosopher’s stone. So, what is there so special about the Salesian Congregation?… If I have understood it properly, its physiognomy, its essential characteristic lies in the charity it exercises in accordance with the requirements of our day and age: nos credidimus caritati, Deus caritas est (we have believed in love, God is Love), and it is revealed in charity. The present age can only be won over and led to do good with love… Tell the men of this day and age that the souls now being lost must be saved, and the men of this world do not understand. We, therefore, have to adapt ourselves to the days in which we live, and this is a basely material age. God reveals himself to the present generation through love: nos credidimus caritati. Tell this day and age that you are rescuing children from the streets that they may not be run over… that you are gathering them in classrooms to educate them, so that they may not become a menace to society, and that they may not go to prison. Then the man of this world will understand and will begin to believe: et nos cognovimus et credimus caritati quam habet Deus in nobis (and we know and believe in the charity that God has for us) (BM XVII, 70-73).

Among other aspects, I would like to highlight the following:

1. In accomplishing the Salesian mission as signs and bearers of the love of God for poor and abandoned youth, Don Bosco was fully aware of the need for this love to be expressed and manifested in such a way as to be perceived by them as much as possible (even if he did not say this in so many words). We see this clearly in the dream he recounted in his “Letter from Rome”: Don Bosco’s interlocutors did not complain that his collaborators had no love for the young or failed to express their love. As a matter of fact, Don Bosco argued with them: “Don’t you see that they are martyrs to study and work, and how they burn out their young lives for those Divine Providence has entrusted to them?” What actually was lacking was the manifestation of that love, and that was why they were not perceived in that way: “The best thing is missing; that the youngsters should not only be loved, but that they themselves know that they are loved (…) Without familiarity, love cannot be demonstrated, and without this demonstration there can be no confidence.” Further on, the same relationship between expression and manifestation comes up again: “By neglecting the lesser part they waste the greater, meaning all the work they put in.”

2. Don Bosco gives us a motivation which not only comes from his pedagogical genius but is above all completely evangelical: “Jesus Christ made himself little with the little ones and bore our weaknesses. He is our master in the matter of familiarity…. One who feels loved loves in return, and one who loves can obtain anything, especially from the young… Jesus Christ did not crush the bruised reed nor quench the smouldering flax. He is your model.” We have to “make ourselves fellow-companions” with our young people, as the risen Jesus did with the disciples of Emmaus (cf. Lk 24, 13-35).

As we contemplate Jesus Christ, the Good Shepherd, through the eyes of Don Bosco, we can say that the expression of his love is the untiring search for the lost sheep, the one for whom he has a predilection because of its situation of risk and abandonment; the manifestation of his love is his placing it lovingly on his shoulders…

Here undoubtedly we find in great measure the influence of Saint Francis de Sales, who led Don Bosco to take him as a model and patron right from the beginning of his mission, and particularly, from that memorable evening when the meeting that had been announced the previous day, the solemnity of Mary’s Immaculate Conception, took place. On the 9^th of December 1859 Don Bosco declared that “the moment had come for all…to state whether or not they wished to join this Pious Society which would be named – or would continue to be named – after St. Francis de Sales” (BM VI, 181). Don Bosco called together his first Salesians for the “practice of pastoral charity” towards “young people who are abandoned and at risk”… They were to practise “loving-kindness” as a manifestation of the salvific love of God (cf. C 15).

3. Cardinal Parrocchi’s words attributed the specific nature of Don Bosco’s mission to the ability of Salesians to make God’s love tangible by fully responding to the authentic and deepest needs of the young so that they felt themselves truly and efficaciously loved by God.

This means that, if we really want to be faithful to Don Bosco and our mission, we must maintain a constant attitude of discernment, in keeping with our Constitutions: “The needs of the young and of working-class areas (…) inspire and shape our pastoral activity” (C 7); and again: “Our apostolic activity is carried out in a variety of ways, which depend in the first place upon the actual needs of those for whom we are working” (C 41). It could happen that a type of activity or work, which is undoubtedly an expression of pastoral love, is no longer a manifestation of that same love and has become irrelevant from the point of view of the Salesian charism. What must now be said – I am speaking ironically here, without any intention of changing the meaning of Don Bosco’s maxim – is that “it is not enough to love”. Calling to mind what St. Paul asked of God for his dear Philippians, our love must be ever on the increase, in discerning and in being perceived (ς - ς: Phil. 1,9). On the other hand, there can also be the opposite danger of a manifestation of love not backed up by its expression, in which case it would be false (“Little children, let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action,”1 Jn 3,18) or, at the very least, inefficacious (cf. James 2, 15-18).

4. As I recall the GC25, I think that one of the great challenges for our Salesian life is to put into practice this fundamental trait of our Preventive System… in our community life. Too many times we forget that “God calls us to live in community and entrusts us with brothers to love” (C 50) and, of course, to be loved by them. By living in this way, our community becomes a reflection of the mystery of the Trinity, we find in it “a response to the deep aspirations of the heart” - which are none other than those of loving and being loved – and “we become for the young, signs of love and unity” (C 49). No one can give what he does not have…

Furthermore: it is not enough to love our brothers in the community; we have to manifest our love to them in such a way that it is perceived and responded to. This challenge is all the more urgent and necessary because of the sometimes frenzied pace of our life in community, which makes us we forget that our community is a meaningful reality, not because of the quantity of work it does but because of its quality. If this is missing, we cannot be signs and bearers of the love of a God who is, in himself, a community…

5. I conclude by highlighting a trait that we shall take up again when speaking of Don Bosco: the phrase, “strive to make yourself loved,” which is also a programme of life, brings perfect closure to the ellipse of love as it is lived in persons, in the community and in the mission. In this regard, we can quote a remarkable statement of Benedict XVI in his Message for Lent 2007: “In all truth, only the love that unites the free gift of oneself with the impassioned desire for reciprocity instils a joy which eases the heaviest of burdens.”