The mother of Jesus

‘helper’ and mother of the disciple

(Jn 2:1-11; 19:25-27)

Mary's presence in the Fourth Gospel is weak (14 out of 879 verses) but quite singular. John gives us two episodes that are unknown to the Synoptic tradition and give us none of those that are provided in the Synoptic Gospels. But her simple and open readiness in the macro account (beginning and end of Jesus' ministry), her direct relationship with the typically Johannine motif of 'the hour', and especially the bond the evangelist establishes between Mary's presence and the faith/faithfulness of the disciples give these two episodes inestimable value for the life of faith of the disciples.

I also dare to add that these two accounts respond better to our own Marian spirituality in our Salesian vocation. In fact, in them Mary is offered a a ‘helper’ in coming to believe in Jesus and as a mother to be looked after at home.

1.At Cana in Galilee

The account of the wedding feast at Cana in Galilee (Jn 2:1-11) is a brief, well-defined one. It opens with Jesus and some of his followers arriving at Cana and closes when they leave Cana, Jesus, his mother and his disciples (Jn 2:1-2.12).

The episode, a fact of ordinary life – going to a wedding feast – closes, despite this, with evident solemnity: it is "the first of the signs", the beginning of the hour of Jesus (Jn 2:11). After an introductory summary that situates the action and presents the characters (Jn 2:1-3a), and the conclusion, which offers the theological significance of what has been told (Jn 2:11), the episode is in three parts: the dialogue between Mary and Jesus (Jn 2:3b-5), the dialogue between Jesus and the servants (Jn 2:7-8) and the dialogue between the master of ceremonies and the bridegroom (Jn 2:9-10)

Actually the account is a chronicle of successive conversations up until when the author interrupts these with a personal comment (Jn 2:11) and with a note on Jesus' journey (Jn 2:12).

First event of Jesus' ministry, a banquet where his mother was in attendance (Jn 2:1-2)

For the disciples of the Baptist who were following Jesus – and such were those who had decided to follow him for a time (cf. Jn 1:35-39) – coming away from the desert to go as invitees to a wedding feast, take part in a banquet would have been an excellent decision, even though a little unusual and disconcerting! The Baptist was an ascetic who neither ate nor drank (Mt 11:18). On the contrary the first thing Jesus does with his disciples is to take them to a wedding feast, and this could last one or two weeks. What a great start!

The narrator notes that Jesus' mother was already there taking part in the feast, before Jesus and his disciples arrived (Jn 2:1). This is not an insignificant detail: starting out as a teacher (Jn 1:38: "Master, where do you live?") Jesus takes his first members not to where he lives, but to where there is a feast…, and his mother is there! The decision to go to Cana, followed by his disciples, was taken by Jesus and not by his mother (Jn 2:1). In John, Jesus does not begin by preaching the kingdom of God, but by taking part in a feast…, “where Mary was”.

Mary in her role as helper

Attention is drawn to the fact that it is the mother of Jesus who is the only one to note the lack of wine. This is an unexpected and worrying discovery. The text does not give us insight into how Mary found out, nor how it was possible for them to run out of wine. The fact is that family life begins badly if they are not even able to ensure the happiness of those who were invited. Mary is the only at the feast who has become aware of this embarrassing situation. Thus she begins her role as “helper”…, first for the two young newly-weds, and then for the faith of the disciples. How does she do this?

1. The mother passes this information on to her son. She just makes him aware of what she has noticed: she asks nothing of him. her words in fact describe the worrying situation (cf. Jn 11:3); they don't require intervention, nor ask for a miracle (cf. Jn 5:7). Mary takes it for granted that the family's festivities are at risk and zeeks a solution with Jesus, trusting in his goodness (cf. Jn 6:5). Without asking him, the mother is expecting something from her son. She confides what she has discovered in him because she trusts him. this is what we can deduce from the way she reacts to Jesus' negative response, rather than from her words (Jn 2:5: "do what he tells you").

2. Mary suffers Jesus' refusal. The response from her son is the key to understanding the deeper sense of the whole episode. Now her words, enigmatically, are at the very least surprising. The term "woman" (Jn 19:26; 4:21; 8:10; 20:13.15) with which Jesus addresses the one whom the narrator has just identified as his mother (Jn 2:1), is unexpected and amazes us (cf. Jn 2:1.12). Without it being irreverent, it does indicate a different relationship from what we suppose there to be between mother and son.

Jesus' question "what do you want from me?", or rather, "what's this to you and me?", has an even more negative feel to it. If Mary had expressed a straight out request, Jesus' answer would have been a direct refusal. If it does not indicate a real break between Jesus and his mother, it at least highlights a profound difference in how they see things (cf. Mk 1:24; 5:7): the ‘woman’ has seen a situation that has been compromised, she is acting in the context of what is going on at the feast, something that does not interest Jesus so much, concerned about what must still happen, his "hour", an event that determines his existence and personal mission (Jn 4:21.23; 5:25.28; 7,30; 8:20; 12:23.27; 13:1; 19,27).

Put simply: Jesus reaffirms his autonomy to act, his independence, with respect to his mother. hùHe does not depend on her, nor on her well-intentioned wishes. Jesus does not allow himself to be led by his mother's will but by his Father's will.

By he delicate observation Mary had voiced very human interests: saving the honour of a new family. Jesus, in his reply, locates his mother's suggestion within God's plan: he invites her to enter into that plan, without yet anticipating what its content will be. Jesus sets some distance between himself and earthly bonds, fed by family emotions or reasons of charity…, because they might get in the way of his obedience to God.

Precisely because his Hour has not yet come, Jesus believes he should not anticipate the manifestation of his glory (Jn 2:11).

3. Mary looks for servants at the feast. Mary's immediate reaction to Jesus' cuttingly negative response is even more unexpected. she continues to look for a solution and changes tactics. She is not beaten, nor does she give up. But she no longer insists with Jesus. She continues to trust absolutely in him before and after his refusal. It is enough for her that her son is aware of how things are: she preserves her faith and invites the servants "to do what he tells them" (Jn 2:5).

What Mary says has been carefully formulated. "Do”, is addressed to the servants; it denotes continuity of action. "Whatever he tells you", in reference to Jesus, alludes on the one hand to his sovereign will; on the other it indicates possibility and lack of determination with regard to what she hopes will happen. Mary believes Jesus will do something. But she does not seem sure what he will do, nor how he will do it. The only thing she knows is that what he says should be done (Jn 2:5). Mary renounces being listened to, but without ceasing to trust in her son. She seems ready to not obtain what she wants, that her son will do what he wants. She ceases to be the mother of Jesus to become instead the believing woman.

Mary's total trust in Jesus, as inopportune as it might be in relation to God's plans, and the total availability of the servants, lwhich is logical for people whose only role there is to serve the guests, had Jesus anticipating his messianic glory, foreseen in the unexpected sign. The miracle had not been asked for, nor was it necessary, for those who were to benefit to first have faith. It was a totally free gift.

The sign is not narrated. The Evangelist is not interested in insisting on the exceptional nature of what took place, on the how, but on its motive, the why: it was enough to carry out Jesus' orders – very strange, really (cf. Jn 4:49-50)! – why his hour was anticipated. Blind obedience was enough, without objection or delay by the servants.

The faith of the disciples and the family of Jesus

By this sign, the evangelist tells us, the disciples saw the "glory" of Jesus (Jn 2:11). His hour had not yet come (Jn 2:4; cf. 4.30; 8:20), but the disciples had been able to experience a first partial revelation ahead of time. They began thus to see better things because they began to believe in Jesus (Jn 2:11).

From Cana, Jesus went to Capharnaum. He returns, accompanied by his believing disciples: faith is at the origins of this new family (cf. Mk 3:31-35).

2.On Calvary

John is the only one who places Jesus' mother and a single disciple there before Jesus dying on the Cross (Jn 19:25-27). Mary does not speak; in silence she accepts the final wish of her dying son. This is the last encounter with her son; she will now receive a new son, and a new task. Recalling Jesus' cruel end, John intends reminding us that the disciple's family is born from the cross, with Jesus' mother as the mother of this new family.

They are the onlyones who follow him as far as the cross

Like the Synoptics, John signals the presence of some women from Galilee near the cross, as well as Jesus' mother. But while in the Synoptics the women follow the drama from a distance (Mk 15:40-41; Mt 27:55; Lk 23:49), here they are around the cross beside it and at its feet. It is not the sorrow or the desolation of the women that emerges from the brief account but the sympathy and courage they demonstrate. The scene however does not focus on them, but on the dying Jesus, who fixes his gaze exclusively on Mary and the beloved disciple. It is Jesus who sees them, before speaking to them (Jn 19:26). The two are identified on the basis of the relationship they have with Jesus; they are defined therefore, by the crucified one (Jn 19:25: "his mother"; Jn 19:26: "the discple he loved").

The disciple, in particular, remains anonymous. He is characterised by the love Jesus has for him (cf. Jn 15:16). A love he demonstrates by doing his will (cf. Jn 15:10): being loved be Jesus makes us able to do his will. It is the disciple who did not betray him, his confidant (Jn 13:23), and who will give witness to him by his death (Jn 19:35) and the first to believe, when he saw the empty tomb, in his resurrection (Jn 20:2.8). Knowing one is loved enables the disciple to be faithful in a major way.

Because, let us not forget, Jesus' death on the cross buried all the dreams and hopes the disciples had while they were following him (cf. Lk 24:21). This was the stumbling block of scandal that tripped up even the most resolute, like Peter (Mt 26:69-75; Mk 14:66-72; Lk 22:56-62; Jn 18:15.18.25-27); the cross was a tomb for their faithfulness. They all fled, only one remained and another betrayed him. Only one remained faithful to the end; only he received the task to be a son to the mother of his Lord.

Jesus' testament

Both mother and disciple were there in silence listening to Jesus' monologue on the cross (Jn 19:26: "Behold your son"; Jn 19:26: "Behold your mother"). This is a detail we should not leave unsaid. In silence they accepted a decision that they had not taken. The detail, although not always taken into consideration, is a decisive one for seeing the importance of the event. Jesus, dying on the cross, asks neither consent nor permission; he does not base himself on prior consent. In the scene only Jesus speaks, or rather only he commands, leaving no room for objection nor waiting for agreement.

From this very personal decision of his comes a new imposed relationship between the mother and the faithful disciple. We need to note furthermore, that the text mentions only the obedience of the disciple, while that of the mother is implied. It is up to him to take Jesus' place in his mother's life, something he begins to do from that very moment (Jn 19:27).

Jesus' mother - the faithful disciple's legacy (Jn 19:27b)

It is striking that the Evangelist does not show any reaction by Mary to her dying son's wish; but he notes precisely the reaction of the beloved disciple. The wording "l’accolse con sé” (trad. CEI; or: "he took her in as his own"), describes the immediate reaction to Jesus' mandate. the disciple took Jesus' mother to his own home, amongst what was his, the goods that best identify him (cf. Jn 1:11; 10:4.13). Yes, but it was not of his own will that he did it, nor the result of compassion, but because his Lord imposed it.

It was not Mary, widowed and without children, who chose a disciple to look after so she could continue to be a mother. Nor was it the beloved disciple who took on the job, with the best of intentions, of looking after this Master's mother now left on her own. Jesus was the only one who intervened and decisively, to ensure a common future for those two who had remained faithful to him till the end. Thus Jesus completed his total act of self-donation, handing over his mother before handing over his life.

And by asking for mother and disciple to mutually assist one another he instituted a new family, where mother and son have mutual bonds but different responsibilities. In this way the promise Jesus made at the last stage of his ministry, to save by 'being gathered in unity', was kept (cf. Jn 10,16; 11:49-52; 12:11; 19:20-24.32-33).

Faithfulness to Jesus till the end , the faithfulness of his mother and beloved disciple, was the cradle of the Christian family. Without extreme faithfulness the family of which Mary is mother would not have come into being. The disciple was entrusted to the mother, and the Master's mother was the legacy whom the faithful disciple received. From that moment on Jesus' mother belonged to the faithful disciple, became part of his world, his hearth. By accepting the last two words of Jesus unconditionally, mother and disciple had reversed the destiny of the Word, who came amongst his own and was not accepted (cf. Jn 1:11).

We ought not forget it: twelve disciples were chosen by Jesus to continue the work but he only gave his mother to one of them, the one who remained faithful because he knew he was loved.

I am not giving you spiritual exercises to do today. But I would like to conclude with a pressing invitation: let Jesus lead you to where Mary is; there, joy and festivity will always be assured. And more to the point, it will be easier there to believe in Jesus. Take Mary and bring her home with you, look after her, love her as Jesus loved her. Such is the testament and command that Jesus leaves his beloved disciples.