There are different kinds of spiritual gifts but the same Spirit; there are different forms of service but the same Lord; there are different workings but the same God who produces all of them in everyone.

(1 Cor. 12,4-6)

As a body is one though it has many parts, and all the parts of the body, though many, are one body, so also Christ.

(1 Cor 12, 12)

Francis de Sales was born on August 21, 1567, into a noble family. He gave up a most promising civil career in favour of the priesthood.  After his ordination, he was sent as a young missionary to the previously Catholic territory of the Chablais district of present day France for four years. By the end of his missionary apostolate, Francis had persuaded about 72,000 Calvinists to return to the Catholic Church. He was later ordained a bishop of Geneva (Switzerland) in 1602, but resided in Annecy (now a part of modern day France) since Geneva was under Calvinist control and therefore closed to him.  Francis de Sales challenged people to see and experience in themselves, family, friends, work and play the opportunities to love God by living life!  His ideals of gentleness and humility, of cheerfulness and respect of others - earned Francis the title of ‘Gentleman Saint.’

St. John Bosco

When Don Bosco started his first Oratory he placed it under the patronage of St. Francis de Sales. When he founded his Congregation he called it the Society of St. Francis de Sales because he wanted his Salesians to imitate the Saint’s gentleness and kindness in their work with the young. Don Bosco took the spiritual teachings of St. Francis de Sales and reinterpreted it based on his experience of working with young people at the Oratory in the Valdocco district of Turin. Don Bosco is the centre, source of unity and foundation of the Salesian family. The Rector Major of the Salesians, who is the successor of St. John Bosco, is the centre of unity of the whole Salesian family. He ensures the all the members of the Salesian family are faithful to the charism Don Bosco (Salesian spirit).

The Salesian Family is made up of different ecclesial groups founded by Don Bosco (Salesians, Daughters of Mary help of Christians [Salesian Sisters], Salesian Cooperators as the central nucleus of his family) and those subsequently recognised by the Rector Major as bearers with them of Don Bosco’s charism. Each group is autonomous meaning in it the members grow, get involved and receive formation and apostolic content. In order to become a member of the Salesian family one must first become a member of one of the groups. Entry into the Salesian Family is necessarily linked with membership of a group. In order to be accepted into the Salesian Family the group must be duly recognised by the Rector Major, (the successor of Don Bosco) with an appropriate declaration.

The Salesian family is a special gift of the Holy Spirit to the Church (called charism) that is meant to grow and extend among the people of God, beyond the changing conditions of time and space. Faithful to the charism of Don Bosco the different groups are involved in human advancement, education, and evangelisation

(Cf. The Common Identity Card of the Salesian Family n. 1-4;

Common Mission Statement of the Salesian Family n. 4)

Today there are 20 officially recognised groups of the Salesian Family: The core: Salesians, Salesian Sisters, Salesian Cooperators. Female Congregations: Daughters of the Sacred Hearts of Jesus and Mary, Salesian Oblates of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, Apostles of the Holy Family, Missionaries of Mary Help of Christians, Caritas Sisters of Miyazaki, Daughters of the Divine Saviour, Sister Servants of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, Sisters of Jesus Adolescent, and Sisters of Mary Immaculate. Associations of Lay Faithful: Association of Mary Help of Christians, Past Pupils’ Association, Association Damas Salesianas, Witnesses of the risen Lord. Secular Institutes: Don Bosco Volunteers, Volunteers with Don Bosco, and Daughters of the Queenship of Mary. Male Congregation: Micahelites.

Don Bosco wanted that the Superior General of the Salesians (called Rector Major) is also the supreme Moderator of the Salesian Cooperators. His task is to ensure that the Salesian Cooperators remain faithful to the charism of Don Bosco. In the General Council of the Salesians there is a Councillor for the Salesian Family among whose task is to foster the unity of the Association as well as the other members of the Salesian family.

There is a sure and stable bond of union between the Salesian Cooperators and the Salesians and the Salesian Sisters because together they make up the central nucleus of St. John Bosco’s Salesian Family.

The Salesian Cooperators also collaborate closely and willingly with the other groups of the Family especially in areas of human advancement, education and evangelisation.

1. When you think of St. John Bosco what comes into your mind?

2. What are your realisations after have studied more deeply St. John Bosco’s Salesian Family?

3. What do you think is St. John Bosco’s unique contribution to the Church in Papua New Guinea?

4. As Salesian Cooperators how could we collaborate with the other members of the Salesian Family in PNG?

People were bringing even infants to him that he might touch them, and when the disciples saw this, they rebuked them. Jesus, however, called the children to himself and said, "Let the children come to me and do not prevent them; for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Amen, I say to you, whoever does not accept the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it." (Lk.18, 15-17)

Adolescence is generally held to be between the ages of 12 to 18, for some up 20 or even 25. It is then followed by young adulthood (25-35yrs. old) and adulthood (35-65 yrs old). Adolescence is the time when most drastic changes happen in all areas of the person’s development: physically, sexually, psychologically, socially and spiritually. Here ‘adolescents’ are also referred to as ‘young people’.

Psychological Development

The adolescent begins to ask a crucial question: "Who am I”? At this stage the adolescent faces the dilemma: How can I separate from my family to become who I am? While I am leaving that security behind where else can I find a place to belong where I feel secure and accepted? The answer is the peer group. That is why teenagers prefer their peer group to their family. If the choice of the peer group is a good one the adolescent learns to develop healthy social relationships with boys and girls which would help him to gradually integrate into the adult world. If the choice of the group is a bad one much damage can be done to the adolescent’s life and future.

Sexual Development

Sexually the body develops too. This brings about an increased interest and attraction towards the opposite sex. Friendship between boys and girls form part of their emotional development. Adolescents start "falling in love". It is very important that teenagers be guided properly by mature adults especially their parents into a healthy view of sex and sexuality. The parents are the best sex educators. Most adolescents when guided by mature adults pass through this stage without serious difficulties.

Emotional Development

Adolescents would like to take more responsibility and become more independent. At the same time their experience tells them that they cannot be totally independent yet. This results often to open conflict with their parents or persons in authority over the amount of freedom they think they deserve. Social development is easiest for adolescents who feel that their parents and family members love and trust them. Parental care should therefore include discipline so that the teenager who is loved receives guidance as well.

Young people need work. In many cases their work brings about a separation from their families and local culture, breaks their attachment to their parish and local Christian community with the consequent risk that their Christian faith gradually loose influence in their lives until their faith becomes totally meaningless to their daily lives. But there are also young who are truly committed to their faith.

Problems of Young People

Adolescents encounter special problems especially when they have no parents or mature adult to guide and advise them. They often use promiscuity, alcohol and drug abuse as means to escape from a personal or family problems. Attitudes towards schooling are also affected. Ironically these same schools push young people out of the system, destroy their dreams and expectations and leave them and their families frustrated. When there is little or no parental concern some loose interest and eventually leave school with inadequate qualifications and without the necessary skills, making it difficult to find a job.

The growing phenomenon of the continual influx of people into urban centres have also brought about the breakdown in traditional values and cultures. Many young people gradually become alien to their own cultural practices and traditions. Being 'footloose' they do not have that 'built-in' strength to face life's difficulties. When they meet problems to turn to drugs, alcoholism or to rascalism.

I t is especially important for young people to develop sexually, socially (e.g. belonging to a peer group), and to form moral values. If these three areas are developed adolescents acquire values of what is right or wrong not just because their parents have said so but because they perceive it to be so. They learn to be responsible for their own actions and their consequences on themselves, others and society in general.

Don Bosco himself said that the young are “society’s most delicate portion”. He said that they are “that part of society so full of promise yet so full of danger” that is why he dedicated himself to them. Like Don Bosco the Salesian Cooperators therefore give special attention to young people especially those who are poor, in difficulties and those who have not yet heard the Gospel.

We evangelise by educating and educate by evangelising. Evangelisation and Education were the means used by Don Bosco in forming good Christians and upright citizens. For Don Bosco youth ministry is walking with the young person in his or her journey to growth to be deeply human and profoundly Christian after the example of Jesus Christ the perfect human person.

It is important not only to see the limitations and short comings of the young but also the goodness in them like their desire for the truth, sense of fostering the common good and generosity to volunteer their service especially for those who are poorer. Like Don Bosco we must tap the potentials offered by young people by starting from what interests them.

1. Do you think there is an awareness regarding the developmental stage the young person is in?

2. The best place where an adolescent grows sexually and socially is in the family. Do you think our young people receive sufficient sexual and social education in their own families today?

3. How can we foster the formation of Christiana and moral values of young people especially in our own families?

4. As Salesian Cooperators what can we do to help young people, especially our children, as they journey towards human maturity?

For you were called for freedom, brothers. But do not use this freedom as an opportunity for the flesh; rather, serve one another through love." (Gal. 5, 13)

Don Bosco was born when the industrial revolution was at its height in Europe. There was a shift from farming to industry. Factories were being built in cities which in turn created jobs. People, especially the youth, from the villages flocked to the cities hoping to find a job. Since many of these are either uneducated or unskilled they were often exploited: many received unjust wages living in sub human working conditions. The uneducated and unskilled youth who flocked to the cities hoping to find a job often ended up jobless. Unemployment brought about a rise of rascalism among the young. This was the situation that the young priest Don Bosco (Don means ‘Father’ a title for priests in Italy) found himself when he came to the industrial city of Turin in northern Italy.

As a young priest Don Bosco was a chaplain in one of the schools of the dela Salle Brothers in Turin. In that school he came in contact with style of education. Later as his Oratory at Valdocco grew and developed he started to open academic and trade schools he developed a different approach of education which caught the attention of the education authorities. Later he was asked to write about the system he used in educating his boys. When he finally did put down into writing his educational method he wrote a small booklet entitled “The Preventive System in the Education of the Young”. He called it "preventive” because he believed that it is better to prevent than to cure because ‘curing’ young people would mean a long and difficult effort.

Don Bosco himself describes the repressive system which is an authoritarian model: “The repressive approach consists in making the law known to the students and then supervising them in order to detect transgressions and wherever necessary give the punishment they deserve. Using this system the words and the appearance of the educator must always be severe, and somewhat threatening, and he himself must avoid all friendly relationships with his students. The educator should be rarely seen among his subjects, and generally speaking only when it was a question of punishing or threatening. This system is easy, less demanding and is especially useful in the army and among adult and sensible people who know and remember what is according to the law and other regulations”.

Don Bosco further explains why the repressive system is not effective: “The repressive system can stop a disorder, but it hardly improves offenders. Experience teaches that young people have bitter feelings about the punishments they have received, and generally, wanting even to take revenge. They may sometimes appear to be unaffected, but anyone who follows them as they grow up knows that the young dreadfully remember these punishments…”

In his work among the street boys of Turin Don Bosco used effectively the preventive system: “It consists in making known the rules and regulations of a school, and then supervising in such a way that the students are always under the watchful eye of the educator and the assistants, who like loving fathers will talk with them, act as guides, advice them and lovingly correct them, which is as much as to say, will put the students into a situation where they cannot do wrong”.

Don Bosco himself explains why the preventive system is better: “The Preventive system offers the student previous warning, in a way that the educator can still speak to him in the language of the heart, whether during classes or later. The educator, having won the loving respect of his student, will be able to greatly influence him, warn him, advise him, and also correct him, even when he is already employed. For these and many other reasons it seems that the preventive system should prevail over the repressive”.

Don Bosco further explains: “This system is all based on reason, religion and loving-kindness because of this it excludes every violent punishment, and tries to do without even light punishments”.

But the Preventive System is not only concerned with ‘preventing’ an evil. It also includes the art of:

 positive education by helping the young person discover his or her positive qualities and discover the best in him or her;

 making young persons grow "from within" by appealing to their inner freedom to oppose peer pressure, temptations, laziness;

 winning the hearts of young people so as to make them happy and satisfied in doing what is good.

The preventive system is also not to be confused with permissiveness (meaning allowing anything the young wants to do). It doesn’t mean ‘anything goes’ rather it supposes in the educator or parents the conviction that in every young person, no matter how ‘bad’ he or she may be, there is that inner goodness that could be tapped and helped to grow.

Don Bosco’s preventive system is not only for schools. It is also effective in raising children within the context of one’s family. Read again Don Bosco’s writings and instead of ‘educator’ replace it with ‘parents’ and you will see that what applies in school is certainly applicable in family life as well.

The above explanations are also the commentary for Art. 14 part 1 and Art 15 part a. of our Regulations for Apostolic Life.

1. Which mistakes are commonly made in our days in the education of the young or even the ways parents look after their children?

2. Why is either authoritarianism or permissiveness not good in either educating or helping young people to grow?

3. What are your realisations after have studied more deeply St. John Bosco’s Preventive System of Education?

4. How can you practice Don Bosco’s Preventive System in your family as a Salesian Cooperator?

2. What difficulties do you think you would encounter once you present to young people that holiness is the highest goal of their life?

3. What message do Blessed Laura Vicuña and St. Dominic Savio have for young people today?

4. As Salesian Cooperators how can we ‘draw out the best’ from young people, especially our children?

If I give away everything I own, and if I hand my body over so that I may boast but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, (love) is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all

things, endures all things (1 Cor. 13, 3-4)

Don Bosco said that “education is a matter of the heart”. He was convinced that loving-kindness is the key that will open the heart of every young person: “I have never come across a young person, however tough he may seem to be, who does not have a point of entry accessible to kindness”.

What Don Bosco meant by “LOVING KINDNESS” was much more than a display of friendliness. It means that the educator must do everything possible to help the student even when it means making sacrifices. “It is not enough to love the young, they must know that they are loved” was Don Bosco’s constant reminder. He insisted that there should be closeness and friendship with the young but always keeping one’s role as an educator. “make yourself loved, not feared”, he once insisted.

Loving-kindness implies that the educator will not wait for the student to make the first approach. The educator himself makes the first step to approach the young. This could be done by participating in what the young likes: “like what the boys like and they will like what you like”, Don Bosco used to advise his Salesians. It is important that students feel welcome to school. “Hello”, ‘Good Morning’ and ‘How’s life?’ could serve as a starting point of conversation with the young.

Why is loving-kindness important? It is important because it establishes relation of respect and trust. It also creates an environment of openness, of relating easily and of joy.

For Don Bosco loving-kindness is especially expressed through what he called assistance. ‘Assistance’ means being present with the young during their free time, taking part in their games as well as in their conversations, showing interest and concern for their welfare. He was convinced that the vigilant presence of an educator could prevent a lot of disorder and foolishness on the part of the students. “How can educators not be seen as superiors but as brother, father and friend? By a friendly relationship with the boys especially at recreation… a teacher who is seen only in the teacher’s chair is just a teacher and nothing more. But if he goes into recreation with the boys he becomes their brother.”

Assistance is the core of Don Bosco’s preventive System. It is a presence that is friendly, loving and patient that helps prevent young people from doing wrong.

Loving-kindness means patience and self-control against violent reactions. Don Bosco himself acknowledges that the preventive System is not easy that is why he said “The practice of this system is all based on the words of St Paul, who says: Love is patient, love is kind ... it bears all things ... hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Cor. 13:4.7) Love is kindly, and patient; it puts up with all things, but hopes all things and endures any disturbance. For this reason only a Christian can successfully apply the Preventive system”.

“Remember that education is a thing of the heart, of which God is the sole master, and we will be unable to achieve anything unless God teaches us the art, and puts the key in our hands. Let us attempt in every way…to take possession of this impenetrable fortress always closed to rigour and harshness. Let us strive to make ourselves loved, to inculcate a sense of duty, and of the holy fear of God, and we will see the doors of many hearts open with great ease, and join with us in singing praises and blessing of Him who wished to make himself our model, our way, our example in everything, but especially in the education of the young”.

One important practice of Don Bosco was his ‘Good Night’ talk. Every night after dinner the boys and Salesians would say their night prayers after which Don Bosco would say some few words to everyone. This would normally last around 3 minutes. The purpose is to a leave a thought before everyone goes to bed. This practice came to be known as the ‘Goodnight’. This is still done today in all Don Bosco boarding schools. In day schools there is instead the ‘Good Morning’ at the start of every school day. For Don Bosco this practice is important because it creates a family atmosphere and promotes a good spirit among students and staff.

For us Salesian Cooperators Don Bosco’s Preventive system becomes our ‘natural’ way of relating with the young and with our children. Don Bosco used a method of kindness to enter into a young person’s heart because he was convinced that ‘education is a matter of the heart’.

In the context of our family our children must know that their parents love them. It does not mean that because we pay their school fees, buy their food and give them pocket money they will immediately understand that we love them. Besides these material things our sons and daughters must know that we love them by the time we ‘waste’ to be with them, to play with them, relax with them and especially to find time to have a personal talk to them. As Salesian Cooperators we parents should make an effort that we find time to have a personal talk with their children (or at least the same sex child) once a week. If children know that their parents love and understand them they will trust them and be open to them.

Parents too should make the first approach to their children. Be the first to greet them ‘Good Morning’, ‘have you eaten yet’ or ask them if they need something. It is ideal for parents to bid their children good bye in the morning and once they come home ask the children how was their day. It is very important that young people feel welcome when they return home, that their friends are welcome too. But this does not mean that they can just bring anyone to stay. Here comes in the importance of having family house rules and parents must make sure that everyone observes it.

The Goodnight too could be a good practice that could be done in the family where the father or mother gives a few encouraging words after the family prayer

1. “Education is a matter of the heart” according to Don Bosco. Therefore he who does not love the person to be educated cannot be an educator. What do you think of this statement?

2. ‘It is not enough to love them they must know that they are loved’. Why do you think it is important for young people to ‘know’ that their educators or parents love them?

3. Do you have any suggestion how we can find ‘time’ to have a personal talk with our children (or at least the same sex child) once a week?

4. What do you think is the advantage if you were to have a ‘goodnight’ talk with your children?

"Through all your days, my son, keep the Lord in mind, and suppress every

desire to sin or to break his commandments. Perform good works all the days of

your life, and do not tread the paths of wrongdoing. (Tobit 4,5)

Jesus said to him, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. (Jn.14, 6)

Jesus said to them, "I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me will never hunger, and whoever believes in me will never thirst. (Jn.6, 35)

For Don Bosco “religion” means that in educating we put forward the model of the perfect human person, who is Jesus Christ. He believed that the properly formed human person was the honest citizen with faith (he termed it as ‘good Christian and honest citizen’), who places at the centre of his life Jesus Christ and who bears courageous witness to his own faith. For him one should live one’s faith with joy. A person with deep faith is one who is always happy even when he has problems. His favourite motto was “Serve the Lord with joy”! Don Bosco often said to his boys “Run, jump, shout, make noise but just avoid sin”. For Don Bosco living one’s faith to the full is something joyful: happiness in loving God and in serving others. During solemn feasts Don Bosco made sure that there was a solemn celebration in Church followed by a heavy meal, games, music, etc.

Religion for Don Bosco is not only concerned with religious practices. It means cultivating a religious outlook in life. This means to educate the young to be aware of the presence of God in creation and in their life. Don Bosco had the reminder of mama Margaret to him when he was a boy written on the wall of the Oratory: ‘Remember God sees you always’ to remind the boys of the presence of God. This should eventually lead the young person to be able to see, judge events and situations from the Christian point of view and act as a good Christian and honest citizen.

For Don Bosco young people should be taught that religion should be expressed especially in service, volunteer work and giving themselves to others.

When Don Bosco was already old and sickly he went to visit the Salesian sisters at Mornese. He went to the chapel to talk to all the sisters. Since he was speaking very softly a Salesian was repeating what Don Bosco was saying. He told the sisters “I see Mary present among us”. The priests said ‘Don Bosco said that if we would be faithful our lady will bless us’. Don Bosco repeated what he said a few times but the priest still interpreted it in similar thoughts. Finally Don Bosco mustered all his strength and said “No, No I mean I see our lady here present among us. I see her she’s walking along the corridors of this house. She is really here present among us”! Don Bosco was convinced of the personal presence of Mary in his life and in the foundation of the Salesian family.

He used to remind his boys that ‘frequent communion and confession are the two wings that could fly you to heaven’ but he also warned his Salesians: “never require the youngsters to go to the Holy Sacraments, but just encourage them, and offer them every opportunity to make good use of them. Then on the occasion of retreats, novenas, homilies, religious instructions, one should highlight the beauty, the greatness, the holiness of that Religion which proposes with such easy methods things as useful to civil society, to peace of heart, to the salvation of one's soul, as are these holy sacraments. In this way the young people will become involved spontaneously in these religious practices, with pleasure and with fruit”.

In the mind of Don Bosco we educate “in the name of Jesus”, not only through school activities but also by the general tone and Christian interpretation we give to subjects studied. The distinguishing mark of Don Bosco’s school is that lessons are always taught from the Catholic point of view as well as Christian ethics.

Don Bosco presented the striving for holiness as the normal path for Christians to follow, that is to say, every good Christian must become holy; he convinced his boys that it was easy to be holy because it did not require them to do extraordinary things, but only to perform their daily duties well and out of love for God. The way to become holy especially designed for young people as taught to us by Don Bosco is called the Salesian Youth Spirituality.

‘The sins against human dignity in our present society are just an accumulation of personal sins as well as the sins of those who support evil, of those who are in the position to avoid, eliminate or at least limit certain social evils but who fail to do so out of laziness, fear or conspiracy of silence, through secret complicity or indifference; of those who say that it is impossible to change the world; of those who are not willing to make the effort and the sacrifice. Real responsibility for the sinful situations that exist, therefore, remains in each an every one of us’.

( Cf. John Paul II, Reconciliation and Penance n.16)

Our regulations describes how we could put ‘religion’ into practice. As Salesian Cooperators it means that we

 believe that God’s grace is at work in the heart of every human person;

 believe in the power of the Gospel to bring newness of life;

 believe in the power of Jesus Christ to bring new life through prayer and the sacraments;

 believe that God speaks to each human person through his / her conscience so that that person could be in communion with God and his or her neighbours as he / she grows towards Christian maturity;

 make the young appreciate the beauty of the Catholic faith and the way we celebrate it (liturgy, sacraments, popular devotions, etc.,);

 make the young understand the religious dimension of life through feasts, celebrations as well as in joyful and sad events of life.

1. For Don Bosco religion is something joyful. How can we help the young, especially our children, be happy in the practice of their Catholic faith?

2. Our faith tells us that we have a personal responsibility for sinful situations we find in our society. What do you think of this?

3. For Don Bosco frequent confession and frequent communion are the wings that could fly us to heaven. What does this mean to you?

4. As Salesian Cooperators how can we practice ‘religion’ in our own family?

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up with the training and instruction of the Lord." (Eph. 6,4)

  Don Bosco stressed that young people should be challenged to do their duties well because he believed that this is God’s will for them. When, however, it is a matter of scandalous behaviour Don Bosco insisted that the student be immediately expelled before one could do further evil and influence others. For Don Bosco the Preventive System is a system that appeals to the capacity of young people to understand good from evil as well as the negative and positive consequences of human behaviour. It aims at guiding the young through the use of dialogue and the formation of conscience. It is not a system that makes one ‘soft’. ‘Reason’ encourages creativity among young people as well as the expression of their personal capacities and talents. In fact Don Bosco insisted that young people should be given ample liberty to jump, run, make noise as much as they please. “run, jump, shout, make noise just avoid sin”, he used to repeat.

Don Bosco often insisted that “our system is the Preventive System”… “I intend to tell you that coercive means are never to be used... I had to convince myself of this great truth! It is certainly easier to lose one's temper than to be patient; threaten a young person rather than reason with him. I would say that it better suits our lack of patience and our pride to punish those who resist us, rather than bear with them firmly and with kindness”.

It is also an important part of the Preventive System to “make the rules well known, along with the rewards and punishments set down in the disciplinary policy, so that no student might be able to excuse himself by saying he did not know what was commanded or forbidden.” In the family it could mean simply that the father sets up some ‘house rules’ and make it known to everyone.

Don Bosco often pointed out that adults must always keep in mind that “the basic reason why young people get into trouble is that in a moment they can forget the rules of discipline and the punishments they threaten. For this reason, a child often commits a fault and deserves punishment, to which he had not given a thought, which he did not remember at all in the act of committing the fault, and which he certainly would have avoided had a friendly voice warned him”.

Don Bosco also knew well that “given that human nature is inclined to evil, sometimes it needs severe dealing”. In fact “sometimes there are there are certain characters who can only be controlled by strict dealing”. So when punishment becomes necessary Don Bosco himself gives us the following advices:

Make yourself loved, if you wish to be respected.

 When you find out about any serious fault, have the guilty party brought to your office, and with the greatest kindness try to get him to say what he has done, and that doing it was wrong; correction should be done in private apart from companions. Never directly scold anyone in public, except to prevent scandal, or to make it good when it has already occurred. Public shame should be the last resort.

 When correcting wait until you are in control of yourself; do not let it be understood that you are acting because of a bad mood, or in anger. In this event you would put your authority at risk, and the punishment would become harmful.

 do not punish a child at the very moment the fault is committed, for fear that because he is not yet able to own up, or overcome his emotions, and recognise the importance of the punishment, he might become embittered, and commit the same, or even worse, faults. You need to give him the time to think it over, to get hold of himself, fully recognise his fault and at the same time the justice and necessity of the penalty, and so make it possible for him to profit by the experience.

 With the young, what is used as a punishment becomes a punishment. One can observe that a less-than-loving look is for some worse than being struck. Praise when something is done well, blame when there is negligence, are already reward and punishment. A ‘cold shoulder’ treatment is a punishment, but a punishment that acts as a challenge, encourages, and never discourages.

 Never use physical punishment. To strike one in any way, to make one kneel in a painful position, to pull any one's ears and similar punishments should be absolutely avoided, because they are forbidden by the law of the land, they greatly irritate the young, and they degrade the educator.

“Let us remember” Don Bosco warns “that force punishes the offence, but does not heal the offender. One does not cultivate a plant by bending it with harsh violence, and so one does not educate the will by burdening it with a yolk that is too heavy”.

If after using all these means Don Bosco said “anyone then should remain deaf to all these wise means of amendment, and should prove to be a bad example, or scandalous, then he should be sent away without hope of returning, with the provision however, that as far as it is possible his good name should be protected”.

Reason demands from us Salesian Cooperators some important attitudes:

preference to use motivation, show the reasonableness of what is being asked as well as the reasonableness of some rules;

as much as possible forcing others must be avoided;

use creativity and flexibility as well as consider the capacity of the young when proposing and demanding from them;

pay attention to the young, their real needs and interests as well as the tasks that await them in life;

show sincere liking to what the young wants as well as their youthfulness in order to help them discern with a sense of balance

1. For Don Bosco reason means appealing to the goodness that is in every human person as well as one’s own conscience. What do you think of this?

2. ‘Make yourself loved, if you wish to be respected’. What do you think of this statement of Don Bosco?

3. Don Bosco said that adults must always keep in mind that “the basic reason why young people get into trouble is that they forget the rules. What do you think of the guidelines suggested by Don Bosco when there is a need to punish?

4. As Salesian Cooperators how can we practice ‘reason’ in our own family?

And he longed to eat his fill of the pods on which the pigs fed, but nobody gave him any. Coming to his senses he thought, 'How many of my father's hired workers have more than enough food to eat, but here am I, dying from hunger. I shall get up and go to my father and I shall say to

him, "Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I no longer deserve to be called your son; treat me as you would treat one of your hired workers." (Lk. 15, 16-19)

Don Bosco’s Preventive System is an educational method that is full of optimism. In fact Don Bosco himself believed that there is a soft spot in the heart of everyone, even of the worst youngster so that one could enter into his heart and be educated.

In Don Bosco’s system of education the young person is the centre of all the educational activity. Education must respond to the needs of every young person. But it does not mean that this is just a one-way traffic. The educator has also something to learn from the person being educated.

For Don Bosco the 3 elements of reason-religion-loving-kindness are all inseparable if the Preventive System is to be effective.

For Don Bosco education should produce saints. In fact has given young people a way of relating to God, a truly Bosconian way of striving to be holy traced out to us by St. Dominic Savio and Blessed Laura Vicuña. We call this the Salesian Youth Spirituality. The main elements of this spirituality are:

 Jesus Christ, by becoming a human person, teaches us that the place to meet God is our daily life, our own life and that of others. Life is God's precious gift to us. By living it fully according to God's will, we become holy. By doing our ordinary duties of study and work in school, workplace and at home very well we do God's will and we grow in holiness. For Don Bosco the place to be holy is our daily life activities because we meet God there. We call this the Spirituality of Ordinary Daily Life.

Don Bosco is the saint of joyful living. A young person must be a source of joy. He or she radiates joy to others, to his friends, family and society. He or she never loses hope and does not give in to discouragement. For Don Bosco music, outings, programmes and sports are expressions of Salesian joy. He reminds us, however, that genuine and authentic cheerfulness is possible only when our consciences are clean and our hearts are at peace with God and with others. That is why he stressed so much on encouraging young people to make frequent communion and frequent confession. We call this the Spirituality of Joy and Optimism.

Don Bosco taught us that young people could follow the way of friendship with Jesus Christ. We are aware that He died on the cross and rose for us to make us happy. We do not give in to discouragement in our weaknesses because we know that Jesus is always with us as our friend and companion in our journey through life. We experience his presence in his Word, regular personal prayer and in the frequent reception of the sacraments especially Eucharist and Penance. Don Bosco insisted a lot that young people should be taught to see Jesus as a friend they can talk to in prayer. He was insisted on regular personal prayer. He always pointed out that Jesus too gave us Mary to be our mother, teacher and guide. Like Don Bosco we honour her under the title of 'help of Christians' and we believe in her motherly intercession for us. We call this the Spirituality of Friendship With Jesus.

Don Bosco taught that our love for Jesus should make us grow in our love for his Church. Don Bosco was convinced that our love for Jesus' Church should be shown in our love for the Pope, Bishops, Priests and Ministers of the Church. “Let us know love and defend the Pope”, he frequently told his boys at the Oratory. This love for the Church, on the other hand, should lead us to be involved in the life and activity of our local parish and diocese. It also invites us to share in the work of the Church in bringing Jesus to others especially by proclaiming him to those who do not know him yet in mission areas. We call this the Spirituality of Communion With Church.

Don Bosco always said that his goal in education is ‘to form good Christians and honest citizens’. This means that we must teach our young people to strive to be honest citizens of Papua New Guinea. One can only be a ‘good Christian’ if one is an ‘honest citizen’. In line with this idea it is therefore important to teach young people to work for the good and development of our country; to stand up for what is right and wrong; and decry all forms of injustice and structures of sin in our society. This is what it means to be a ‘good Christian and honest citizen’: one who feels co-responsible for the good of our society at the same time work for the good and development of our country. We call this the Spirituality of Responsible Service.

Don Bosco had always done his work from the pastoral point of view. Meaning that he saw everything that he did as fruit of his ministry as priest. This means that Don Bosco’s concern for their education, for their insertion in society, in the world of work had only one aim: their happiness in this life as Christians and in the life to come. Don Bosco willed that lay people would be association with him in his work for the young.

Although education and evangelisation are different activities, they are nevertheless connected. Don Bosco’s Preventive System is actually a synthesis of ‘education’ and ‘evangelisation’. We ‘evangelise by educating, educate by evangelising’ is a Salesian slogan. This is what we call integral Christian education: preparing young people to be citizens of this world and of the next!

In this light as Salesian Cooperators who evangelise by educating we do not limit our work only in catechesis and liturgy. We also work for human maturity, for a ‘new society’ animated by Gospel values. As we work for a better world we tap the positive elements in young people like their desire for what is good, for the truth, for freedom and availability to render service.

As we help young people to be factors of change in our society we give them a support system adapted to their youthful situation: the Salesian Youth Spirituality.

1. Do you think you share Don Bosco’s conviction that there is always a soft spot even in most difficult young person?

2. According to your experience what are the ‘accessible points to goodness’ that is found in young people, or your children, today?

3. Don Bosco has shown young people that there is a way to become holy that is adapted to them through the Salesian Youth Spirituality. What does this mean to you?

4. The Spirituality of Responsible Service is part of the Salesian Youth Spirituality. As Salesian Cooperators, how can you make young people, especially your children, understand that the Spirituality of Responsible Service is an important dimension in becoming holy?

GUIDELINES FOR THE FORMATION OF SALESIAN COOPERATOR

(World Consulting Body, ROME 1996)

Chapter 2: METHODOLOGY

The formation of the Cooperator, both at personal and association levels, is a process which involves his/her person as a whole. The starting-point is the person's interior experience.

It is not therefore a question of acquiring knowledge, but of bringing convictions and profound attitudes to maturity. We are dealing here with a journey, which cannot be accomplished if the formative experience touches the person only superficially or only at the mental level.

It is important that both the Cooperator and those who accompany him or her in the formation process be aware of the fact, each at his/her own level, that they are undertaking a journey and that both are to do their part in carrying it out.

2.1. The formative process

The formative process, proposed here, is made up of some elements which, when interacting with each other in a circular movement in the life of a person, can bring about growth. The use of this process in the form indicated here below will greatly help in the Cooperator's journey towards growth.

We can synthesize the elements of the formative process by means of a diagram

The starting point is the person's experiences of life (situations, vision of things, acts, duties, etc) (STEP ONE).

Human life is not just a repetition of things. It is to be consciously lived and therefore it involves reflection (study, meditation of the Word of God, cultural, doctrinal and spiritual deepening) (STEP TWO).

Reflection favors a greater discernment, that is a greater capacity to understand, to evaluate, to distinguish facts and values (STEP THREE).

Discernment becomes deeper in prayer, in the dialogue with the Lord and in the effort to adhere to his will, out of which choices and attitudes mature and renew the experience of life (STEP FOUR).

Of course, in real life this process does not always happen with the components following one another in strict succession. Rather, they integrate with one another in various ways. However, the process substantially takes place through the interaction of these components.

2.2. What are the practical implications?

If the formative process consists of these elements, it is important to give them due space, both in the personal formation of the individual Cooperator as well as in the formal formation cared for by the Association.

In organizing the initiatives and the formative meetings, one should not reduce them to a simple conference. Care should be taken that all the elements of the formative process are present.

Above all, a reflection, which is the fruit of a conference, of a report or of a meditation, should lead to a personal confrontation with life experiences and to a discernment regarding one's proper behaviour. In this way, one's orientations and choices for living and acting can mature.

In handling a formative theme, therefore, the Formation Facilitator (cf. Part 6 of this document) should study how that theme may be related to the persons' experiences, and to which facts, problems or behaviour the theme may have a relation. Then, the Formation Facilitator may propose suggestions and appropriate elements to make the discernment.

Ultimately, reflection and discernment will find a natural outlet in prayer. This may be a spontaneous or a prepared prayer, but it should be one that is within the context, that is, in line with the formative theme dealt with and springing from the reflections and plans that have developed and matured. A prayer, therefore, open to life, "adhering to life" (RAL art. 32/2)