CHAPTER THREE

THE ASPECTS OF FORMATION AND THE

VALUES AND ATTITUDES TO BE ASSUMED

54. “Each one of us is called by God to form part of the Salesian Society. Because of this God gives him personal gifts, and by faithful correspondence he finds his way to complete fulfilment in Christ.”¹

Vocation is a call that occurs with the help of intermediaries and external circumstances. But it is in the first place God’s call revealing itself through a variety of personal gifts (desires, hopes, plans and traits) - all this is a work of the Spirit - that are in tune with the project of Salesian life and enable us to live it. This vocation is recognized in a person; it totally involves him, all the areas of his personality for the whole of his life.

It is the task of formation to help recognize, assimilate and develop the values and attitudes that make him suitable for Salesian life. That suitability is a sign of his call and the outcome of his response.

Consequently, formation must be complete: it must include all aspects – the human, the spiritual, the intellectual and the pastoral.² They are aspects that coalesce with each other: they are all simultaneously present and continually interact among themselves;³ they are not to be regarded as separate sectors but “must be harmonized into a living unity”.⁴

At the same time, formation is an ongoing and dynamic reality. The areas referred to and the elements they comprise are not to be considered in a static way, as if they were conditions to be fulfilled or targets to be reached once and for all. Rather they are to be considered against the background of change and development in each person, in the light of his continuing response which is elicited by his own growth, by the needs of the situation and by the circumstances affecting his life.

It is from the perspective of the Salesian charism that a synthesis is formed and the different areas of formation are viewed; it is on the basis of the charism that the particular significance and elements in the various areas are highlighted.

55.The areas we have indicated contain the elements we have to consider when discerning the suitability of a vocation. They point up the principles to be assimilated, the dispositions to be acquired, the attitudes to be manifested, and the things to be done if one is to accept and carry out the project of Salesian life with joy and maturity.

What has been said about the different ways of realizing one’s identity as a Salesian and of personally embracing one’s vocation makes us understand that the suitability of a vocation must also be seen in this perspective; it cannot be taken as a single, static, idealized model or as a sum of requirements considered separately.

Our presentation offers a frame of reference in which will be found at one and the same time the aspects that constitute the suitability of a vocation – we could call them the founding and specifying elements (the basic and the specific requirements), for without them there is no suitability for Salesian life - and other elements that need to be continually acquired and cultivated for a fuller and more authentic experience of one’s vocation.

The frame of reference must be adopted on the basis of the principle that a vocation needs to grow in quality – this is therefore a principle that makes constant demands and continually provokes - keeping in mind that every Salesian lives his own vocation in a personal manner according to the gifts he has received. Against the backdrop of gradual growth, the pedagogical process of formation will help to distinguish between basic suitability, the suitability needed for the different stages of vocation commitment, and especially the maturity needed for the final commitment.

56. By identifying the values and attitudes needed to translate Salesian identity into personal experience, and pointing out the pedagogical approaches and activities to make them real, those responsible for formation are offered a basis for their task of direction and discernment. At the same time, each confrere receives a stimulus to make a concrete pledge of his desire and will to become a Salesian in every fibre of his being.

Each of the various phases of initial formation will lay emphasis on some of the values and attitudes that are more in harmony with its specific objectives. So, in the different stages and situations of his life, in the change of circumstances and the succession of tasks, each confrere will feel responsible for renewing himself in his mentality, attitudes and expertise, in order to be the better able to embody the Salesian vocation in his own person and pursue the path of holiness.

3.1 HUMAN FORMATION

57. Only a strong, free and balanced personality capable of integrating its different aspects in a harmonious whole, can sustain the process of developing his identity as a Salesian and enable himself to live his religious consecration in serenity and fullness. The whole work of formation would be deprived of its necessary foundation if it lacked a suitable human foundation, not only for the sake of a right and proper growth to maturity but also for the sake of the mission.⁵

On the other hand, when the experience of consecrated life pays heed to the anthropological dimension of all its components and assists the living of a profoundly rich humanity, it becomes a prophetic example of true humanity and serves as a fitting response to those who consider consecration an obstacle to a person and his fulfilment.⁶ In the present-day context growth in human maturity assumes special importance.

58.For the Salesian who by his profession is called to be a friend, an educator and pastor of the young, and a promoter of their full development, the quality of his humanity is crucial. His vocation requires a personality that can love and make itself loved in an affectionate, balanced and open manner, and be understanding and firm. For this he draws inspiration from Don Bosco: “deeply human, rich in the qualities of his people”.⁷

Human maturity is a permanent undertaking; it has to do with values and attitudes that are to be expressed in different ways in the various stages of life and in diverse cultural contexts.

3.1.1Good health and the capacity to work

59.The Salesian style of life and work habitually requires good health and physical resistance, together with a great capacity for work.

Called from his earliest years to become “strong and robust”, Don Bosco would stress the need for good health for a long and intense service to the mission. To the novices he once said: “What I see as necessary is that you grow and become strong young men by keeping healthy and that you later be able to do a lot of work.”⁸ “Work, work, work!” he used to repeat to his Salesians. “A candidate for Salesian life must love work.”⁹ The Constitutions remind us that “unremitting and self-sacrificing work is a characteristic left us by Don Bosco.”¹⁰

Don Bosco himself was an example of a life devoted to work and he wanted his Salesians to be distinguished for their spirit of enterprise and industry. Valdocco became a school of work: it developed a pedagogy of duty which did not shrink from fatigue but became the practice of self-control and a way of living our spirituality.¹¹

60.This is why the Salesian:

- takes care of his health, observes the ordinary norms of personal hygiene, takes sufficient nourishment and sets aside enough time for rest and simple healthy recreation. As long as his age and physical state permit it, he keeps his body in good condition and ready for work, making use of physical exercise and sport in the company of young people;

- loves daily work, whether manual or intellectual, and carries it out “with tireless energy, taking care to do everything with simplicity and moderation”;¹²

- adopts a rhythm of life and of orderly, methodical and sacrificing work, avoiding the kind of overload that can cause tension and stress. Discipline and a sense of duty become for him his path of asceticism.¹³

For its part, the community:

- provides and organizes all those elements that make for physical stability, such as: work that is appropriate and tailored to each one’s capacities, suitable times for rest, healthy nourishment, possibilities for sport and physical exercise, and the necessary medical checks.

3.1.2Psychological balance

61.The Salesian’s special vocation and style of relating in community life and educative work require that he possess sufficient mental balance; a good self-image leading to positive feelings and attitudes towards life; a serene self-possession, self-confidence and an ability to make hard decisions for the sake of the unity he has managed to give to his whole experience.

62.Psychological balance, needed in a special way in a context that can lead to fragmentation and psychological fragility, is achieved through a progressive integration of various elements interacting positively among themselves.

Therefore, the Salesian:

- seeks self-knowledge and self-acceptance: he reflects on his own experience, and on his good qualities and limitations; he learns to accept himself; he fosters confidence in himself and in his abilities; he is able to see and make the most of his life-story from the viewpoint of the plan of salvation; he knows that God has his own designs for him and welcomes him with open arms, if he has but the courage to place himself in his hands. The joyful awareness of God’s love for him keeps him serene and happy, and sustains him in moments of conflict and darkness;

- increases his ability to manage his own inner world: he learns to understand himself, his attitudes and the real motivations behind his actions, and to master his thoughts, feelings, fears and reactions to persons and events.

In his gradual process of growing to maturity, he makes an effort to capitalize on his good qualities and overcome difficulties. He is able to forestall possible conflicts.

He knows how to be calm when successful and serene when he fails. He is free from rigid positions and inhibitions, and makes his decisions on the basis of true and authentic motives;

- appreciates his community and the support of his brothers: he makes himself a part of the community, establishes relationships in his life and his work, is open to sharing with his brothers also on the spiritual level, and refuses to isolate himself or hold back from communicating with others.

3.1.3Affective and sexual maturity

63.To live the Salesian vocation in a fraternal community and in an educative and pastoral relationship requires a mature affectivity. As our Constitutions say, a Salesian’s love is that of “a father, brother and friend, able to draw out friendship in return”.¹⁴ Family spirit and loving-kindness are the other names for a Salesian’s mature affectivity.¹⁵ He loves his vocation and is called to love according to his vocation.¹⁶

God has given man the capacity to love by making use of his bodily and spiritual reality. Through his body he can give meaning to and express his love with the intensity of his sentiments and his heart, and accompany it with the purity of his spirit.

Sexuality is a gift of God and a power that makes man and woman capable of communication, encounter and love.

64.The Salesian sees his life as a gift he has received and that he has to transmit to others; he achieves his fulfilment by giving himself. He trains himself to love gratuitously, to establish positive human relationships that are person-centred and authentic, and to give and receive affection in all simplicity. His love is deep and personal, and is made up of sincerity, fidelity and human warmth. He knows how to build truly strong friendships,¹⁷ free of possessive attitudes; he is able to live in solitude with serenity; and is quite capable of regulating his affective contacts with people, especially when it comes to educative and pastoral relationships.

In his dealings with women he is cordial, balanced and prudent; his attitude is one of esteem, respect and responsibility.

Such a purity of love and affection is not possible without a certain discipline in one’s feelings, thoughts, desires and habits. The practice of self-control, which is an expression of the eminently positive virtue of chastity, channels the individual’s sexual tendencies and capacities towards the harmony of the whole personality; it enables one to make a joyful gift of oneself, free of every attempt at selfish possession, and ensures that a rational approach prevails over one’s impulses.

65.To live and grow in affective and sexual maturity, the Salesian:

- is mindful of the value of his body and its meaning; in his lifestyle he shows balance, mental and bodily hygiene, and temperance;

- recognizes the value of masculine and feminine sexuality, with their physical, psychological and spiritual connotations;

- sees his vocation as something that gives true meaning to life and his consecration as a reality which confers beauty and goodness on his existence; he grows in a sense of self-confidence, secure in his own identity; he is free from the need for various forms of support and compensation, also in the area of affectivity;

- nurtures a deep friendship with Christ, who calls him to fraternal communion and sends him out to love young people in his name; his life and his time are “filled” by God, by the community and by the young;

- loves those with whom he shares his calling; in the giving and receiving of affection he becomes aware of his value as a person and expresses the deepest capacities of his being;¹⁸ He loves the Salesian Congregation and considers the community his own family;

- feels at home among the young, and strives to be a transparent sign of God’s love for them: he is not intrusive and not possessive, but desires their good with God’s own benevolence;

- fosters a mature and coherent relationship with lay collaborators, both men and women; he is aware that a closer involvement of women at the level of the institution and of educative and pastoral activity introduces new aspects and specifically feminine values, producing a new understanding of male identity and reciprocity, and touching on affectivity, relational ability and self-control;¹⁹

- loves his own family: a serene and mature relationship of love for his family has very positive implications for formation. On entering the Congregation he loses none of his love for his relatives, and especially for his parents; he gives it expression by his prayers, letters and visits;²⁰

- develops friendships that facilitate the assimilation of values, the striving for human and spiritual growth, and that confirm him in his vocation; such friendships avoid every form of selfishness and are open to the gaze of the Lord and of others;

- remains vigilant in his own life: he does not expose himself to situations or relationships that are not transparent; he practises mortification and the custody of the senses; he makes discreet and prudent use of the means of social communication.²¹ In all this he feels a commitment to be austere and ready for renunciation.

3.1.4Relational ability

66.Interpersonal relationships form the basis of the Salesian’s educative and pastoral mission. He must be capable of attracting and meeting young people, willing and prepared to “live and work together” and to animate persons, groups and communities.

“Rapport is at the heart of every educative approach, of every effort at collaboration, of family harmony and the effectiveness of an educative and pastoral community. ‘We must be brothers to men at the same time that we want to be their pastors, fathers and teachers. The right atmosphere for dialogue is friendship, or rather service.’”²²

Don Bosco offered his disciples a serene and welcoming human relationship, to which he gradually added a pastoral and sacramental dimension. The quality of educative encounters was always foremost in his mind.²³ “See to it that all with whom you come in contact become your friends,”²⁴ he used to advise.

67.Such a style of interpersonal relationships requires that the Salesian imbue his interactions with some specific human virtues:

- a constant regard for justice, faithfulness to his word, polite manners, a sense of proportion in relationships and behaviour, a kindly concern for others;

- the acceptance of others, even if they are different by reason of formation, age, culture, etc.

- attitudes which facilitate dialogue, such as empathy, trust, the ability to listen, openness of mind, the ability to see things from the other person’s point of view, good manners and the ability to forgive;

- the ability to collaborate with others, the spirit of service, shared responsibility, and the acceptance of authority.

3.1.5 Responsible freedom

68.Freedom constitutes the core of the human person.

To live his vocation, the one who has made a radical choice of consecrated life requires a formation to the responsible use of freedom, especially in contexts in which subjectivity and personal autonomy are glorified and the outcome is individualism. In such contexts standardization is the norm, conditionings abound, appearances carry more weight than actions based on true and authentic motivations, and responses to immediate concerns are preferred to decisions guided by principles or to activities which give meaning to life.

It is a constant struggle therefore to free oneself “from” whatever in life holds back and enslaves, to free oneself “from” passions and sins, from selfishness and individualism, so as to be, on the other hand, free “for” mastering oneself, “for” being open to others and giving them generous service, free “for” acting according to truth and the underlying motivations of one’s vocation.

The two aspects (freedom “from” and freedom “for”) create a real autonomy: they give the capacity to make truly free decisions based on a conscience that is illuminated by truth and trained to think in terms of responsibility and discipline in life. This is precisely the reason why conscience needs to be formed in the values of Christian and Salesian life and of asceticism. Conscience it is that determines the responsible use of freedom.

69.The formation of conscience entails a patient work of listening and dialogue. It requires:

- a serious critical formation that enables one to pass respectful and objective judgments on persons and events and take a stand on cultural models and social norms. From this point of view it is important to be able to look at the means of social communication critically and use them responsibly;

- an education to a sense of the mystery encompassing life, a reality marked by sin and infidelity but seized and saved by Christ. This must help form the conviction that freedom is the fruit of a convinced and heartfelt obedience to truth;

- the ability to examine one’s life in the light of the Gospel and the guidelines of the Church, so as to be able to discern good and evil, sin and sinful structures, God’s action in one’s self and one’s past life;

- the ability to bring together one’s desires, energies and values in a personal project of life, in which one assumes responsibility for one’s growth and lives to the full the deepest motivations of one’s vocation.

3.1.6Openness to reality

70.Don Bosco developed his vocation in dialogue with the reality of the young and ordinary people, and in constant interaction with the context of the Church and of society.

Among the aspects that enrich the Salesian’s humanity, rendering it more authentic, is the sharpening of his human sensitivity. This flows from his deep love for human beings and his attentiveness to the flow of history with its accompanying signs and demands.²⁵

Living in contact with the world of the young and with working-class surroundings, the Salesian understands their needs, perceives their unvoiced questions, shares their hopes and expectations, and feels with them in their suffering.

He experiences compassion for “the sheep without a shepherd”,²⁶ makes himself one with them, and seeks to prolong the Lord’s passage through the streets of the world.

In his love for the young the Salesian finds support for his own faith, and discovers values that encourage and enrich his life.

By becoming aware of the problems and difficulties experienced by the young, he grows in his enthusiasm for the mission and feels impelled to acquire the skills needed to respond in the spirit of the Gospel to the challenges appearing on humanity’s new frontiers. He shares with others, and in an attitude of reflection and prayer brings before God all that he experiences.

Because of his nearness to and his sharing with needy and suffering humanity, he lives his vocation to the full.

71.The Salesian’s openness to reality requires:

- attentiveness to the solicitations coming from his surroundings and to a possible direct encounter with the realities of youth, poverty and work; willingness to live attuned to the world’s great problems;

- sensitivity to culture and society, contact with other workers in the field of education and human development, attentiveness to social communication;

- an effort to look at reality with the attitude of the Lord who became flesh and “desired to know joy and suffering, to experience weariness, to share feelings, to console sadness”;²⁷

- an interest in making the best use of information – be it Salesian, ecclesial or cultural.